Best viewed in 1000x800 resolution

5/24/01- New Scribe battle up and Sloth battle due sometime soon. Design also fixed now ^_^
5/14/01- New Sloth battle up featuring people from the mIRC channel! Join now!
5/14/01- New Scribe battle up and feedback board has been incorporated
5/06/01- New battle up and I redesigned the site so both webmasters' battles would be displayed next to each other. Unfortunately now, if you aren't using 1000x800 res, you have to scroll left or right
5/03/01- I just wrote and posted my first battle of this version
5/01/01- Slime Version is up with one battle by The_Scribe

Blue Text = Player Speech
Red Text = Narrator
Green Text = Story Narrator
Other Colors = Other characters

Sloth Version Battles

Lime Version Battles

Other Slime Version Battles

D&D Handbooks for D/L

Battle #3: Dirty Harry vs.  ???  [The_Scribe]
Location: On the road

*As usual, The Scribe finds the need to add a character that comes from the depths of that bottomless hole in time known as.. the 80s!*

DH: So, let's see, according to all the 'How to be a Pokemon Master' help guides, I should head to the closest city and buy some Pokeballs.  Ahh, to H-e-l-l with that. I'll just grab them and run!!
I wouldn't try that!
That's why I'm the trainer and you're just the ominous voice that follows me wherever I go.
That would also mean I'm all-powerful, right?
Well, no, I mean.. shut up!
Yeah, that's what I thought! Now if you're done ranting, I need to punish you!
Why don't I like the sound of that?
FATE OF DOOM appeared!
Ahhhh! Run away, RUN AWAY!!
Harry is running from Fate of Doom!
Oh Lord, just a little bit farther..
Dirty Harry escaped Fate of Doom
Huh?!?
DIrty Harry ran into Doom, Fate's master!
Once again, I say.. HUH?!?
Doom is angry!
Doom wants to fight!
Oh man. Here we go.. Go Slimer!
Harry sent out Slimer!
Slimer, attack!
SLIMER slimed!
Doom was slimed!
Slime became doomed!
What? Slime is evolving..
Slime turned into Slime of Doom!
This can't be good..
Slime of Doom and Fate of Doom got sued for copyright infringement
Want to run that one by me again?
The term of Doom is a trademark of Red Version Pokebattles® owned by Jason Ross.
Oh, so what now?
Well, I hear Kiss is having a reunion tour and I can get good tickets!
Shouldn't I try to become a Pokemon master or something?
Well, you could but Jean Simmons is a better act than a Pokemon match!
Well, you're never seen me battle!
Yes I just did and that's half the problem.. to be plain and simple, you suck at this!
Yeah, well that's what they said about Ash and look where he is now!
Right, you're pitting yourself against a guy that doesn't talk to his ominous voice and always wins in the end.. well, I got news for you!
NARRATOR wins!
Battle used END!
Battle ended!

Haha, well here we go again. Dirty Harry got himself into quite a mess but I'm sure that his relationship with the narrator will only improve over time and if you believe that I've got a bridge to sell you!

Battle #3: Finding new characters  [Sloth]
Where: You get to burning!
Player: Several new ones
(Battle modeled after certain ppl.. guess who.. no offense to those ppl ^_^)

Narrator needs to find some more players to pick on..
I'm in the right place, right? Tryouts for players?
NARRATOR needs to know your NAME!
My name is KiwiThing ^_^.
Uhh.. That's your.. real name? Is the ^_^ included?
Yup. I say that after every line. ^_^
NARRATOR wants to know how you SAY ^_^
Easy.. you just-
Whatever.. I don't want to know anymore.
NARRATOR needs to know your SPECIAL TALENTS!
I can make people get annoyed by saying ^_^ all the time!
NARRATOR is already annoyed >8(
NARRATOR is starting to have fun with face making..
Can we just get to a battle? -_-
NARRATOR sends out Bot
Bot wants to fight!
BOT used SCRIPT!
Welcome to this channel!
Oh yeah? I'll use Smile! ^_^
BOT was SMILED AT! BOT is angry!
BOT used FLOOD!
Visit my website!
Visit my website!
Visit my website!
Visit my website!
Gaaah! Must..use..^_^
KiwiThing ^_^ used ^_^! BOT was stabbed by excessive ^s!
BOT exploded!
Heehee ^_^. I win! Yay! ^_^ ^_^
NARRATOR wants you to stop with the smiley faces!
But I can't.. I have to say it after my sentences! ^_^
NARRATOR starts to TWITCH!
Whoa.. I don't think that's healthy.. -_-
NARRATOR reaches for the 'kick' button. NARRATOR forgot that this isn't a channel
Sloth appeared!
The_Scribe appeared!
Hmm.. I say we keep this new character.
Yeah. All the faces could prove entertaining.
NARRATOR is angered by these new people ARRIVING!
Random Sheep appears!
Random Sheep changed name to Sheep
I wonder how I got here..
NARRATOR is happy to see a NEW PERSON!
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Kiiiiiiwiiiiiiiiii!
NARRATOR is getting scared again! Especially by the Italian flag colors
NARRATOR no longer has anything to LOSE!
NARRATOR sent out LARGE BEAST OF DOOM!
Arrrrh! I mean.. Urrrrh!
LBoD wants to fight!
Yay! Another fight to win! ^_^
Can I join you?
Sure ^_^
Yay! ^_^
NARRATOR gets blinded by the ^ s!
LBoD attacks! LBoD trips and falls!
LBoD falls.. onto SPIKES!
Wow.. we didn't have to do anything! ^_^
NARRATOR begs you to stop making those faces!
But it's so fun.. -_-
NARRATOR falls to the GROUND!
NARRATOR starts CONVULSING!
I knew he wasn't in good shape..
NARRATOR just wants to die in PEACE!
NARRATOR died! NARRATOR was instantly replaced by another Narrator!
Awww.. and just when we were going to give him some Vivi Aspirin.. #_#

Battle #2: The New Guy  [The_Scribe]
Location: Outskirts of Slime Town

Mom: Harry, it's time to wake up
Harry: Ahhh, man, why does everybody have to wake up with their mothers yelling at them?
Mom: It's tradition and I'm not going to let my son break it. Now go see Prof. Oakinawa.
Harry: Don't you mean Prof. Oak?
Mom: No, that would be copyright infringement and I won't have my son breaking the law!
Harry: Ahh man, why do I have to be a Pokemon trainer?
Mom: Don't complain and LEAVE!!
Harry has run away!
Harry has run into WALL!
Harry: Ah, ouch, that was not a pleasurable sensation
Harry has run to Prof. Oakinawa's lab
Harry: Hey wait a second. Who are you?
Me?
Harry: Yeah, that ringing voice in my ears
Oh. I'm just your every day, average, ominous, disembodied, deep voice that comments on your every action
Harry: Oh, is that all? Well, that's.. Wait a minute, what's going on? I have a voice trailing me?
Yup. I'll be your shadow. Every time something happens, I'll be there!
Harry: Why have you forsaken me god?
Don't worry. Unlike other narrators, I won't kill you. I'll just mess up all your attacks so you or your Pokemon get injured and faint.
Harry: Well that sounds pleas- Hey, that's not cool!
Get over it! It's time to continue!
Prof Oakinawa: So Harry, you ready to start?
Harry: No, I need a Pokemon first.
Prof: Well I guess you had better find one. Oh wait, I've got one last one.
Harry: Really? What is it? A Mew or maybe a Gyrados!
Prof: Not exactly. It's a Grimer!
Harry: You're joking, right?
Prof: Nope
Harry: Oh man, well, I'd better change his name. How about Slimer?
Prof: Well, have a great time with Slimer
Harry: Yeah, well, I'll try.
Harry has captured Slimer!
Harry: Oh boy, I'm so ecstatic
Slimer slimes Harry!
Harry has become dirty and covered with slime!
Harry: Noooooo! Not one of those jokes!!
Harry's name has changed to Dirty Harry
Dirty Harry: Will it ever stop? Can't we all just live in isolation?

Haha, yes, that's right! The_Scribe has pulled me from Lime Version and I'm back until I become an old joke again. Will the newly made Dirty Harry become a great Pokemon master? Or will we be forced to change the title due to copyright infringement? Will I survive my limited time here? Will I stop talking? Can it be that Slime is so good that none (Red Version exempt) can stand in the way? Will The_Scribe stop talking? The answer to all of these questions is no...

Battle #2: The Newbie  [Sloth]
Player: Richey
Where: I dunno

Ahh it's nice to set out to find some Pokémon. Except that I'm kinda new at this
NARRATOR smiles EVILLY!
I wonder if the same techniques I used in that Jokémon game would work here..
I'll just use these homemade Pokeballs to catch them.
RICHEY walks in circles in PATCH OF GRASS!
RANDOM POKEMON appears!
Whoa.. I never thought that walking around in grass would work so well..
I'll just look in my PokeDecks for a name and such.
PokeDecks: This Random Pokemon is actually a Ditchey!
Ok.. what's so special about it?
PokeDecks: There is nothing special about this Pokemon!
RANDOM POKEMON changes name to DITCHEY!
DITCHEY was caught!
Uhh.. I didn't even use a Pokeball.. but I'm not complaining.
There's a free Pokemon for me!
EVIL GUY appears!
EVIL GUY wants to fight! and kill!
I didn't want to fight but I guess this is good practice.
I choose you, Pikachu.. I mean, Ditchey!
RICHEY sent out DITCHEY!
I never realized how similar our names were..
Okay, Ditchey. Use your Punch attack!
DITCHEY used DITCH! DITCHEY dug a ditch!
EVIL GUY fell into a ditch!
Uhh, ok. That worked anyway. Use Punch again!
DITCHEY used DITCH! DITCHEY ran away!
EVIL GUY fell into the ditch.. again!
EVIL GUY is getting annoyed with the ditch!
FIne.. I'll send myself out! Go Self!
RICHEY sent out SELF!
RICHEY fell into the ditch!
What the- How big is this ditch?
RICHEY appeared out of the ditch!
EVIL GUY died in the ditch!
Well, I know how evil this sounds but at least his grave is already dug.
DITCHEY returned!
Stupid Ditchey.. why'd you run away and ditch me like that.. oh wait..
Hmm.. I guess I'll just go walk around in that forest so I can fight some more.
RICHEY walked into a FOREST!
Another Pokemon appears!
Yay! Now I can have more Pokemon.
POKEMON was renamed GLITCHEY!
GLITCHEY wants to fight!
I don't know if it's cool that another Pokemon has a similar name or if I should be worried about its name..
GLITCHEY attacked RICHEY's Saved Game!
Saved Game was glitched horribly!
NOOOOOO! It took me forever to get to the one save point in that game!
GLITCHEY attacked RICHEY's Brain!
Brain was also glitched badly!
Gaaah! Can't remember.. own.. name...
RICHEY was renamed to PITCHEY!
Ahahah! Now I can pitch a ball at you!
PITCHEY pitched a BALL! GLITCHEY attacked the BALL!
BALL hit PITCHEY in the FACE!
This Pokemon is invincible! How can you kill a glitch?
GLITCHEY left to glitch DITCHEY!
Yes! Kill cowardly Ditchey!
GLITCHEY glitched DITCHEY! DITCHEY became GLITCHEY2!
Noooo.. will this ever end?!?
Both Glitcheys glitched PITCHEY to DEATH!
NARRATOR's eyes were glitched by the excessive use of the word 'glitch'!

BATTLE # 1


Where: The Ruins of Lime Version  [The Scribe]
Who: The-Scribe

The Scribe: There's no hope left, all men abandon Version.
Narrator: Sir, your story line was left unfinished...
Scribe: That no longer matters. Lime Version has gone too long without an update. It must be abandoned if we hope to survive.
Narrator: But Sir...
Scribe: Your butt's connected to your backside; Leave me! I shall watch this version be destroyed as Nero watched Rome burn!
Narrator: Err... Hell, I'll join you...
Scribe: Hell is a place not an.. oh forget it.  If Lime's going to vanish to the infamous void, then we might as well drop that bad joke and high tail it..
Narrator: Sir, you don't even have a tail..
Scribe: Ohh dear God, please take me now..
A NATURAL EARTHQUAKE appears!
Scribe: Hurry, let's get.. outta here.. this isn't safe anymore.. suddenly talking.. like.. Captain Kirk..

The_Scribe and his loyal Narrator have fled the failing Microsoft web site realm and now are transversing the gates between trying to find a new home.. but no Webmaster in his right mind would accept him...

Scribe: So, where are we now?
Narrator: Based on that last gate we leaped through, I'd guess Planescape: Sigil to be exact.
Scribe: No, please not this; we'll be stuck here till we find the key back to the Pokebattles world.. what moron would put a Planescape link on his site?
Narrator: *cough*you*cough*
Scribe: Narrators, why did it have to be narrators?
A wild Sloth appears!
Scribe: Huh?
A wild Lime appears!
Scribe: I can take a hint.. let me guess.. these must be the keys to get me back!
Scribe was hit with a blinding flash of the obvious!
Scribe hurt himself in his confusion!
Scribe: Thanks, I needed that.. let's find that portal
Narrator: And where do we start oh illustrious ex-webmaster?
Scribe: How about that portal right over there? The one that's shimmering..
Narrator: How about another blinding flash of the obvious for both of us?
Scribe: Nope, that would spoil the only run-on joke we have.

The_Scribe arrived in the castle of Slime Version and to their surprise, they find that they aren't alone.

Lord Sloth: So, you fellows are here too, huh?
Scribe: Great, I figured we'd be alone here.
Sloth: You don't pay attention to the bold text guy do you?
Scribe: What bold text guy?
Sloth: Nevermind, something tells me we can use this as another run-on joke in the future..
Scribe: Whatever.. just tell me where I am
Sloth: Welcome to Slime Version, home of the only creature that even its mother doesn't love, the half-Lime half-Sloth; Slime..
Scribe: Uh huh.. and who made up this idea?
Sloth: See, that's the odd thing.. here in Slime, there are two Webmasters.. so obviously the one writing this battle isn't very good in comparison to the other..
Scribe: How can you tell?
Sloth: Lime was destroyed; Sloth just re-invented itself..
Scribe: Just like the artist formerly known as Prince?
Sloth: For being a former Webmaster, you aren't very smart.. all the better for some really bad jokes.

Battle #1  [Sloth]
Where: Bombed out building
Player: Sloth

SLOTH appeared!
I wonder where I am.. I only remember being in Sloth Version.
NARRATOR notes that SOMETHING TERRIBLE happened to Sloth Version
What happened? I thought that site was a new one.
NARRATOR says that the Sloth Version Webmaster got too LAZY!
And that BLIZZARD games made a sudden comeback!
Ahhhh! Not Blizzard.. that evil, eeeevhaaal company..
NARRATOR doesn't like people MAKING FUN of Blizzard!
Hey, Blizzard rules.  *looks upward toward Almighty One*
Not like I'm trying to *cough*brown-nose*cough* anyone.
*wink*wink*
NARRATOR is getting scared by a sloth winking at him..
NARRATOR uses KILL on the asteriks!
Uhh.. I'll just stop using them..
NARRATOR is becoming BORED!
NARRATOR goes off to use the SLUGGY MADLIB thing!
...Hey, we can't have a battle without a Narrator.. if you could call this a battle
"Sorry for that sniper rifle-sloth thing"
NARRATOR laughs to himself..
Grrr.. gotta find someone to battle..
THE MOVIUS appeared!
What's a Mobius?
It's THE MOVIUS, not a Mobius.. and THE MOVIUS rules!
Ok.. then DIE MOVIUS!
SLOTH wants to fight!
THE MOVIUS wants to fight! In CS!
C..S..?
SLOTH is confused! SLOTH punches himself in the spleen!
MOVIUS THING!
THE MOVIUS used THING! MOVIUS does SOMETHING!
MOVIUS KILL!
MOVIUS goes to KILL in CS!
MOVIUS ran away!
SLOTH fell to the ground under repeated punched from HIMSELF!
Why..am..I..punching..myself?
SLOTH kicked himself while he was down!
A Scribe appears! Errr.. The_Scribe!
The_Scribe? What kind of name is that?
NARRATOR notes that someone named Sloth shouldn't be asking that question.
What's wrong with my name? It's so.. slothlike..
The_Scribe: I'm your new ally.. don't you know?
Know what? I don't even know where I am!
NARRATOR says this is the old Sloth Version!
Hence the bombed-out-building look!
Ahhhh! What happened to Sloth Version?!?
Both NARRATOR and The_Scribe urge you to scroll up!
SLOTH scrolled up!
Oh yeah.. short term memory..
Anyway, what's this about allying and all?
The_Scribe points to EMPTY SPACE on the ground!
LIME appeared!
SLOTH appeared! SLOTH filename already in use.. please choose another one..
I'm not a file name!!
WILD_SLOTH appeared!
GIANT PLUS appeared between LIME and WILD_SLOTH!
NASTY GREEN STUFF appeared!
Ohhh.. I get it.. the Lime got all moldy.. then the Sloth went over to eat it!
NARRATOR and The_Scribe shake their heads!
Ok ok.. The Sloth was so slow, moss grew on him then he squished the Lime!
NARRATOR rolls his eyes!
No? Someone spilled toxic waste?
Scribe: The Lime and the Sloth combined to make SLIME VERSION!! What are you, SLOW?!?
Well, actually...

SLOTH and LIME combine to make Slime Version!