Ray was deceived by Alakazam/Ditto when it claimed to know what he did last summer.
Bigglymuff, which has long been abandoned in favor of the much more
powerful Doompuff, makes an appearance in this battle.  The trainer Ray
makes an attempt to capture a wild Ditto, and soon the Ditto decides to
break the rules and transform into whatever it feels like.  Once it
settles on Bigglymuff, will Ray stand a chance?
Battle #81: Ditto Troubles  May 12, 2000
Setting: Game 70% / Reality 30% / Anime 0%
Player: Ray  [No Record]
Written by whats_in_a_name123@hotmail.com  New Author

RAY is walking along!
WILD DITTO appears!
A Ditto?  I'll capture it!
Go!  Abra!
GO!  Abra!
Enemy DITTO used TRANSFORM!
Enemy DITTO transformed into ALAKAZAM!
It's not supposed to be able to do that!  It should only be able to change 
into Abra!
Enemy ALAKAZAM wants to know what kind of stupid Pokmon wouldn't be able to remember what anything but the Pokémon in front of it looked like!
Abra!  Use-
Enemy ALAKAZAM used BLACKMAIL!
Enemy ALAKAZAM knows what you did last summer!
*Gulp*  Um?  Is $50 enough?
Enemy ALAKAZAM takes money!
Enemy ALAKAZAM laughs!
It's super effective!
ABRA faints!
From laughing?!?!
Enemy ALAKAZAM says YES!
Enemy ALAKAZAM laughs again!
Ow!  Ok, then go! Scyther!
Go get 'em!  Scyther!
Enemy DITTO uses TRANSFORM!
Enemy DITTO transformed into CHEESE!
What will that do?  Oh well, Scyther!  Use slash!
SCYTHER used SLASH!
SCYTHER cut the CHEESE!
SCYTHER fainted from the smell!
Eww?   That stinks!
RAY is holding his nose!
Let's see.  What wouldn't be affected by the smell?
Go, Muk!
The enemy's almost unhurt!  Go MUK!
Enemy DITTO used TRANSFORM!
Now what?
Enemy DITTO transformed into FIRE HOSE!
Ok?
Muk!  Use sludge!
MUK used SLUDGE!
Enemy FIRE HOSE is unaffected!
Enemy FIRE HOSE used WATER GUN!
MUK washed away!
What!  Oh well, I guess that's one of the dangers of being a large pile of 
ooze.
Um?  Go-
Enemy DITTO used TRANSFORM!
Enemy DITTO transformed into BIGGLYMUFF!
What the heck is that?
RAY pulled out POKéDEX!
<Bigglymuff- The evolution of Wigglytuff.  Likes to eat people while they 
look at their pokédexes.>
Wha-
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF used EAT!
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF ate RAY!
Help!
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF burped!
It's dark in here!
RAY used WHINE!
It had no effect!
Can someone help?
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF used DIGEST!
RAY fainted!
No I didn't!
RAY fainted!
I said I didn't!
RAY died!
Nooo!!

Matt was tricked by Raichu and thrown in the sea.
The Webmaster of the newly-created Flame Version is also the author of
this week's Primary Blue Version battle.  If you want a taste of the
quality of Flame Version battles, this is a good place to start.  It
features the trainer Matt and his attempt at capturing the Red Text…
surely a feat nobody has ever tried before…
Battle #82: An Unlucky Day  May 12, 2000
Setting: Game 90% / Reality 10% / Anime 0%
Player: Matt B.  [No Record]
Written by flashfire.flareon@cableinet.co.uk  New Author
Contains Level 1 Language (Mild Expletives)

Walking around bored, nuthin to do..
MATT sees a PIKACHU.
Wahoo, something interesting for a change.
Right...Poké ball GO!
MATT throws a THUNDERSTONE at PIKACHU.
I WHAT? Oopsie...wrong pocket.
What? PIKACHU is evolving!
PIKACHU evolves into RAICHU.
Well, at least I get to catch a Raichu now.
MATT sees a RAICHU.
No duh, red text. I just evolved the damn thing.
RAICHU runs away.
Hey, get back here you. I think I deserve gratitude!
MATT follows RAICHU.
Well I never knew you could do that.
RAICHU wants to fight.
But you're not a trainer...are you?
Rai..*shakes head*
RAICHU sends out RAICHU.
Oh, ok - do it like that then.
Rai. *nods*
RAICHU throws a THUNDERSTONE at MATT.
Oh yeah...thanks for that back.
What? MATT is evolving!
I'm WHAT?
MATT evolves into THUNDER MATT.
Well, this got stupid all of a sudden,
I not got any Pokémon anyway...sure, why not?
THUNDER MATT wants to battle!
THUNDER MATT sends out THUNDER MATT.
Rai??
Come on then..
RAICHU uses THUNDERSHOCK on THUNDER MATT.
It's super effective!
It is? AAAAGGGHH!!
THUNDER MATT uses THUNDER on RAICHU.
It's super effective!
No duh, that always happens.
RAIII!!!! <is stunned>
THUNDER MATT uses POKéMONCATCH at RAICHU.
I never seen that attack before - oh well...
THUNDER MATT throws a POKÉ BALL.
That's better.
RED TEXT knocks POKÉ BALL away.
HEY! I would have got that then!
RED TEXT uses TONGUEOUT at THUNDER MATT.
RED TEXT goes :P:P:P:P
Humph.
RAICHU runs away.
HEY! Don't do that!
THUNDER MATT follows RAICHU.
RED TEXT trips THUNDER MATT.
It's not very effective...
That depends on whether you count damage or whether you count me being POed...
THUNDER MATT wants to fight!
RED TEXT sends out RED TEXT.
And what good is that? Now, thunder attack...
THUNDER MATT uses NOTHING.
I DO NOT!!
RED TEXT uses FULLCONTROL.
Right...now to use thunder...
THUNDER MATT is confused!
It hurts itself in its confusion!
Oh yeah, like just saying that is going to work...AAAAAAAAAGGHH!!
What? THUNDER MATT is de-evolving!
I'm WHAT? NO I'm NOT!
THUNDER MATT de-evolves into MATT.
Hang this...I am capturing you...
MATT throws POKÉ BALL at RED TEXT.
RED TEXT is caught!
Wayhey! I get control back now..
Aah...it's that Raichu again.
Rai?
yes...red text...appear dammit.
DAMN - it's in the poké ball.
Ok...I will let you out.
RED TEXT is released.
MATT sees a RAICHU.
Now we're talking!
MATT throws a POKÉ BALL.
You caught a RAICHU!
YAY!
Do you want to give a nickname to RAICHU?
Naah..i forget which pkmn is which.
Please choose a nickname.
But I said...ah n/m - I'll just put raichu again.
R-A-I-C-H-U...there!
Nickname changed to MATT.
I didn't put that!
Ok...'Matt' come out of the ball.
Raichu?
Yup...he's fine...I will go to the pokécenter though..
MATT returns MATT.
Now why am I inside a poké ball? AAGGH!
Raichu ^_^ <laugh>
REDTEXT throws MATT's POKÉ BALL in SEA.
Nooooooooo!
REDTEXT smiles - this will teach you not to catch me!
AAAGGGHHH!
<MATT's POKÉ BALL drifts out to SEA>
(I will get u u stupid RED TEXT!!)

Amy was deceitfully captured by Zero.
Jrcom takes a break from his traditional 'kill the webmaster' battles to
give us this short battle between Sonic (the Hedgehog, I assume) and…
well, it wouldn't exactly be correct to say that a battle takes place at
all, actually.
Battle #83: Tremble Park  May 18, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: Sonic  [No Record]
Written by jrcom2000@ignmail.com  (Previously willy1@ignmail.com)
Author of Webmaster Vs. Jrcom (Battle #45)
Author of The Webmaster's Mom (Battle # 65)

Well my next course is Twinkle Park. I wonder what it's like. 
*It's Tremble Park! * 
What? Where did Tremble Park come from? 
*The Sonic Adventure Site of course! * 
Oh. Well an action Stage is an action stage. I'm going in! 
*Tremble Park 
Action Stage * 
Ooo this is scary, I wonder...
*Amy appeared! * 
Hi Amy! What's up? 
*Amy was distracted! Zero caught her because of that! * 
*Amy: SONIC YOU DOOFUS! *
Oops. Well...
*Trick-or-Treater appeared! * 
*Jrcom: Hey! I didn't ask permission to use you! Get out of the Battle! 
*Trick-or-Treater became enraged! * 
Uh Oh. Well it's time to...
*Jrcom: Ooh no you don't! You're battling them! To beat them do a Homing Attack on them when they are standing still. Watch out for their candy because it's homing too! * 
I've got a better way! RUN! 
*Sonic ran from the action stage! * 
*Jrcom: Oh boy... 

Pegasus must have been tricked into believing that this was a "Stupid Unoriginal Battle That Will Never Get Published As Primary."
A new author brings us this week's battle, which mocks all of the most
common Blue Version clichés, including the TREE and Joe's Convertible,
though it's been awhile since we've heard from Joe.
Battle #84: A Clichéd Battle  May 18, 2000
Setting: Game 40% / Reality 60% / Anime 0%
Player: Pegasus  [No Record]
Written by Pegasus750@aol.com  New Author

Well, here I am, walking down a path.
PEGASUS is walking down PATH!
Now how many battles have started like THAT I won't even bother to think about.  Now I'm probably going to run into a--
PEGASUS walked into TREE!
*Groan* I didn't, but since you ARE the narrator...
TREE is angry!
I think we all know what's going to happen next...
TREE wants to fight!
Okay, I guess I'll go along with this.  Um, go Clefairy!
PEGASUS sent out CLEFAIRY!
Use double-slap!
CLEFAIRY used DOUBLE SLAP!
It's not very effective...
It never is on the first try...
enemy TREE used FALL!
Doesn't that tree have any other attacks?
APPLES fell on PEGASUS'S head!
Sure they did.  This is lame, I'm outta here.
PEGASUS used FLY!
PEGASUS ran away!
Whew...now that that Stupid Unoriginal Battle That Will Never Get Published As Primary is over..
PEGASUS stepped on an EVIL RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF DOOM!
Oh, now we're stealing from Aqua's characters too?
DOOMPUFF is angry!
DOOMPUFF wants to fight!
Uh oh...I don't think anyone's ever won a battle with a DoomPuff...
enemy DOOMPUFF used BITE!
PEGASUS died!
Oh no.  I am dead.  Whatever shall I do.
PEGASUS is ruining a perfectly good battle!
No I'm not!  There isn't one scrap of original text in this stupid battle!  I'm not even a trainer!  I'm just a pegasus!  Leave me alone!
All this battle needs now is--
JOE drove by in his CONVERTIBLE!
*GROAN!*
JOE is laughing at you!
JOE called you an amateur!
Oh yeah, well, take this!
PEGASUS sent out DE-EVOLUTION SPRAY!
MWA HA HA!
JOE is gaping in horror!
DE-EVOLUTION SPRAY used DE-EVOLVE!
CONVERTIBLE de-evolved into CAR!
JOE is sobbing uncontrollably!
JOE ran away!
PEGASUS wins!
Whoop-de-do.  Maybe now I can leave.
PEGASUS ran away!
NARRATOR wins!

Dacter was tricked into believing that the Mist Stone existed.
This battle features two rare birds that the author (or perhaps someone
else) created. Actually, in the e-mail this battle was sent with, the
author claimed that the two additional birds are actually in the game boy
game (which of course isn't true). Like the Primary, this battle is also
quite short.
Battle #85: Legendary Birds X5  May 25, 2000
Setting: Game 100% / Reality 60% / Anime 0%
Player: Dacter  [No Record]
Written by bsmakusk@wi-net.com  New Author

"let's see, I have a Zapdos, and  all I need is a Articuno
and Moltres."
--Wild Moltres appeared!
"I gotta catch it! Go Aerodactyl!"
--Go, Aerodactyl!
"I just said that"
--Moltres used sky attack!
--It's not very effective... 
--Aerodactyl fainted!
"Oookay, I'll throw a moonstone!"
--Dacter threw moonstone!
--It has no effect!
"What's that on the ground?"
--Dacter picked up a Mist Stone!!
"I'll just throw this, then!"
--Dacter threw Mist Stone!
--What? Moltres is evolving!
"This can't be good....."
--Moltres evolved into Soltres!
"What dose the Pokédex say?"
--"Soltres, 152, a legendary bird. this Pokémon can cause 
solar eclipses with its wings."
"Hmmm... guess I'll use Zapdos!"
--Go, Zapdos!
"Zapdos, use Thunder!"
--Zapdos used Thunder!
"Now, Ultra Ball"
--Dacter threw Ultra Ball
--Soltres was caught!
"what's that flying overhead?"
--"Lunicuno. the evolved form of  Articuno. It comes down for 
the moon once a year. It has been only seen once." 
"Whoa, now that thing about the seen once is about to change......."
--TO BE CONTINUED--
 

Click here for the next set of battles.