Battle #5

People may be pondering why Dacta MPR fell into the Spring of the Drown Cartman. It's a joke from the Pencil Apocalypse movie.

Battle #5
A Cursed Life
Player: Mary (Win vs. Lance, Battle #4)

Finally! A win!
NARRATOR points out DACTA MPR also won against MR. CHISZAR!
I know. But this time I actually feel as if I deserve it. Now it's time for a vacation! What do ya say, Jess?
JESS MPR: It's about time!
All right, then it's settled! A nice long vacation'll do us well!
DACTA MPR and JESS MPR went on a VACATION!
PIKACHU'S VACATION! Now on sale with POKEMON: THE FIRST MOVIE!  DVD and video! Buy it today!
*groan* Is the Narrator gonna follow us? I thought this was suppose to be a VACATION!
NARRATOR smiles INNOCENTLY!
JESS MPR: So where are we going, Dacta?
Somewhere in China in the mountains. It has a lot of springs. Not a lot of people go there anyway. C'mon, Jess, China's a-waiting!
JESS MPR and DACTA MPR were INSTANTLYTRANSPORTED to CHINA!
Whoo! Cool features!
DACTA MPR is getting THIRSTY!
No problem. I'll just take a nice swig from the spring over there.
JESS MPR: Unfiltered water? Yeeechhh! I'll pass, thank you!
Ah, you're just a spoil-AHHHHH!
DACTA MPR fell into SPRING!
OH CRUD THAT'S COLD!!! Where's my wet suit??
What? DACTA MPR is evolving!
?!
DACTA MPR evolved to...
to...
WELL TELL US ALREADY!!
JUSENKYOGUIDE appeared!
Stop trying to avoid the subject, Narrator.
DACTA MPR evolved to CARTMAN!
This is more than unjust! This is...this is evil!!!
JUSENKYOGUIDE: Oh, I have failed to warn you in time. You have fallen into the Spring of the Drown South Park character.
Is it just me or do I always have bad experiances with South Park?!
JUSENKYOGUIDE: That is a very, very sad legend about-
Oh, fork you! Pencils, go!
CARTMAN has NO CONTROL over the PENCILS!
Argh! I'll get you, whomever did this to me!!!
HEROINE, PART OF THE TWELVE appeared!
HEROINE is on HEROIN!
What perfect timing. My worst enemy appears and I'm a fat, fictional second grader!!
Not that DACTA MPR is true to LIFE!
Die, Narrator!
HEROINE wants to fight!
This is baaad! Without me, Jess can't control the pencils!
JESS MPR used TRANSFORM!
Okay, I am now offically 100% confused.
JESS MPR: The "Jess and Dacta's Curse" section will explain it all.
CARTMAN doesn't have TIME!
CARTMAN must FIGHT!
JESS MPR transformed to HEROIN!
HEROINE: Must...take...the...heroin...
JESS MPR/HEROIN began leading HEROINE away!
HEROINE ran away with JESS MPR/HEROIN!
Oh crap. Now I'm all alone? And how do I turn back into Dacta MPR?
JUSENKYOGUIDE used HOTWATER!
OOOWWWIIIE!!!!
CARTMAN was burned!
What? CARTMAN is devolving!
CARTMAN devolved to DACTA MPR!
At least I'm back to normal...but now I need to catch Jess!
DACTA MPR began running...
away from JUSENKYOGUIDE!
Oh please don't say...
DACTA MPR lost to JUSENKYOGUIDE!
Agh! I'll get you next time!

Battle #6
An Unfortunate Mix-Up
Player: Lance of Da Elite Four (Loss vs. Mary, Battle #4)

GASP! Can't...breathe!
LANCE has had QUITE a big WORK-OUT!
You kept me running, you imbecile! And the whole time I was carrying Lance!
LANCE has been CARRYING ally LANCEBASS!
GASP! Where's my Pokeflute?
AYA appeared!
AYA: Hey, brother!
BROTHER? Excuse me, but I'm-
AYA: C'mon, Koga, I've been looking all over the place for you! And who's this hot-I mean fine-I mean GUY you've been dragging around?
Lance Bass from N*SYNC. You know him?
AYA: Ahhhh! Mr. Bass, can I have an autograph!?
What? AYA is evolving!
AYA evolved to N*SYNCFAN!
Oh my God! We've made a monster!
N*SYNCFAN demands AUTOGRAPH!
THE GUY'S OUT COLD!!! How can you expect an authograph???
Ally LANCEBASS woke up for beautiful N*SYNCFAN!
You are so dead, pretty boy.
Ally LANCEBASS does not like the name PRETTYBOY!
Prrreety Boy!
Ally LANCEBASS will defend N*SYNCFAN from YOU!
Lance, it's me, your ally, Lance. Remember?
Ally LANCEBASS is TRYING to REMEMBER!
But, it failed!
How can his memory fail?! He's only twenty-one!!
Ally LANCEBASS has a terrible SHORT-TERM MEMORY!
I SHOULDN'T BE JUST IN YOUR SHORT-TERM MEMORY, YOU IMBECILE!!!
LANCE is angry!
........
Hey, why isn't there a "Lance wants to fight" coming up?
Ally LANCEBASS will protect N*SYNCFAN!
Ally LANCEBASS wants to fight!
Oh, so that's it. I can only be angry?
Correct! But feel FREE to get as ANGRY as you'd like!
LANCE is at BREAKING-POINT!
Dramicroscopic, go!
LANCE never does LEARN, does HE?
Shut up and just say "DRAMICRSCOPIC, go!"
DRAMICRSCOPIC...was BEATEN!
LANCE should never ARGUE with the NARRATOR!
Die die die...
Ally LANCEBASS does not LIKE it that you are IMITATING his GOLDEN HIT SINGLE, BYE BYE BYE!
I hate that song anyway! Die, die die!!!
Ally LANCEBASS died!
Oh crap! What've I done?!
N*SYNCFAN ran away crying!
LANCE won against Ally LANCEBASS!
Damn...I didn't want to kill him.
N*SYNC appeared!
Uh oh...
J.C.: Hi, Lance!
Lance? Wait, you know me?
JOEY: Don't be stupid, Lansten.
OMIGOD! You think I'm Lance Bass?!
CHRIS: He's had too much booze.
N*SYNC picked up LANCE!
No! I ain't going' wit ya! It's the dead guy you want! I'M TELLIN' YA, IT'S THE DEAD GUY!
LANCE has been MISTAKEN for LANCEBASS!
LANCE lost to N*SYNC!