JASON appeared!
JASON is
happy!
MATT:
You seem unusually happy considering your days have already been numbered..
Maybe...
but today is special... seeing as I have...
DRAMATIC
DRUMROLL appeared!
...so that's
what one of those looks like...Weird... Anyway...
BATTLE's
SUSPENSE greatly rose!
....I have.....
a 40 GIG HARD DRIVE to install! MWAHAHA!
RANDOM PEOPLE
appeared!
RANDOM PEOPLE
used EAVESDROP!
RANDOM PEOPLE's
JEALOUSY greatly rose!
Mwaha...
RANDOM PEOPLE
used DROOL
BATTLE started
to FLOOD!
FLOOD appeared!
NARRATOR:
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NARRATOR:
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NARRATOR:
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NARRATOR:
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NARRATOR:
ughqwreuhtuqherwtquhketruhukerhk
NARRATOR:
ughqwreuhtuqherwtquhketruhukerhk
NARRATOR:
ughqwreuhtuqherwtquhketruhukerhk
NARRATOR:
ughqwreuhtuqherwtquhketruhukerhk
NARRATOR:
ughqwreuhtuqherwtquhketruhukerhk
NARRATOR:
ughqwreuhtuqherwtquhketruhukerhk
NARRATOR:
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MATT used
KICK!
NARRATOR
was KICKed by MATT (Baibai)!
....riight...
I think that has something to do with IRC...
NARRATOR
has joined BATTLE!
Anyway...
the only problem I have now, is to install the thing...
NARRATOR
thinks JASON will do something horribly wrong with the HD!
MATT used
KICK!
NARRATOR
was KICKed by MATT (Nope, it won't. n_n)!
And now...
I gotta install the thing...
JASON reappeared
in HOME somewhere in CALIFORNIA!
...this isn't
my house, this is just some random generic place called HOME!
NARRATOR:
There's a difference?
...Look,
I'm disputing whether you should be here at all, now just narrate me to installing
the HD and then this battle can end...
NARRATOR...decides
not to!
NARRATOR
thinks he doesn't get PAID enough!
You don't
get paid at all... You do it for the sheer love of...uh...narrating people
into the weirdest deaths known to Poké Battles?
NARRATOR
is supposed to LIKE being a DISCORPOREAL VOICE?
...That's
a bonus to it, yes... As well as the omnipotency...
NARRATOR
is OMNIPOTENT!
NARRATOR's...uh...OMNIPOTENCY
greatly rose!
...can I
just install the HD now?
40GIG HD
dropped in from SKY!
AAAAH! ME,
CATCH THAT THING!
JASON used
CATCH THAT THING!
THING was
CAUGHT!
HD continued
to fall!
Nooooooo....
BATTLE became
SLOW-MOTION!
JASON started
to MOVE in SLOW MOTION!
nnnnnnnn.....ooooooooooo.....
However,
HD is falling at NORMAL SPEED!
!!
SLOW MOTION
ended!
HD fell on
JASON!
Ow! this
thing weighs a TON!
NARRATOR
notes it actually weighs 2!
WHAT?!
NARRATOR
notes you're lucky he didn't say the SIZE of the HD was as BIG as JASON's
COMPUTER CASE!
....this
battle is taking too long, I want to have 40 gigs of spaace...
HD wants
to fight!
HD sent out
PACKAGING!
Ah, NOW we
get interesting.. Go me!
JASON sent
out ME!
ME ran away!
JASON sent
out JASON instead!
...me, use
OPEN THE BOX!
JASON used
OPEN THE BOX!
Which number
BOX would you like to open!
....ehh...
JASON has
keys for BOX 3 and BOX 13!
JASON has
the CHANCE to win a BRAND NEW....25 GIG HD!
BUT I HAVE
ONE BETTER THEN THAT RIGHT HERE!
MATT:
Er...hehe...if you win that, can I, uh, have the old one?
JASON used
GLARE!
MATT:
Okay... I'll have the 25 gig one and be happy with it. Blah.
...I won't
dignify that to a response...But I will open BOX 13...
JASON used
OPEN!
BOX 13 contained
a TIN of STEWED PRUNES!
...o_o
TIN is actually
SYMBOLIC to a HOLIDAY for 1 to SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!
...how do
they get that from a tin of prunes...?
It's equally
worthless!
...oh yeah....NOW
CAN I JUST GET MY 40 GIGS OF SPACE?
NARRATOR
doesn't WANT you to!
NARRATOR
says he needs payment!
...of what,
may I ask...
NARRATOR:
A 40 gig hard drive would pay me off nice-
NO!
JASON fainted
instantly!
...
Ally MATT
used REVIVE!
JASON was
fully REVIVED!
JASON reappeared
at HOME with HD!
HD still
wants to fight!
Fine... Me,
use OPEN on PACKAGING...
JASON used
OPEN!
PACKAGING
wasn't affected!
Gaah! Eevil...
PACKAGING
sent out PLASTIC DEALIEx2!
PLASTIC DEALIE
used WRAP!
PLASTIC DEALIE
used WRAP!
HD was fully
WRAPPED!
Me, use REMOVE
PLASTIC DEALIE!
JASON used
REMOVE PLASTIC DEALIE!
JASON started
to SLOWLY PRISE at the PLASTIC THING!
JASON's ANNOYEDNESS
greatly rose!
...c'mon...
Attack continued!
...there
we go...
Attack continued!
...just a
little more...
3 HOURS pass!
PLASTIC DEALIE
is REMOVED!
PLASTIC DEALIE
fainted!
Whoo!
PLASTIC DEALIE
seeks REVENGE!
PLASTIC DEALIE
used WRAP!
HD was FULLY
WRAPPED!
...me...uh...use
Pokédex?
POKÉDEX:
Pokémon number #xhdgheoir: PLASTIC WRAPPING DEALIE
POKÉDEX:
These pithy opponents were done away with in the majority because of the
obviously visible weak spot where the adhesive is. If you had to use this
pokédex to find this information out firsthand, press 1 now.
JASON pressed
1!
LOUD RECORDED
LAUGHTER filled the BATTLE!
JASON's MORALE
greatly fell!
....Me, use
WEAKSPOT!
JASON used
WEAKSPOT!
PLASTIC DEALIE
was REMOVED with SUBSEQUENT EASE!
....HD...
JASON used
OPEN!
JASON stared
at HD!
....mmmm.....40
gigs...
JASON used
DROOL!
BATTLE started
to OVERFLOOD again!
...eh? Oh,
yes, I want to install this thing now!
Ally HD joined
JASON!
Which means...
PC wants
to fight!
GO, HD!
JASON sent
out HD!
Now, HD,
use...
PC used GLITCH!
NO!
Attack failed!
Phew... Anyway,
HD, use INSTALL!
HD used INSTALL!
HD installed
WORMS ARMAGEDDON!
...eh, HD,
use SELF-INSTALL!
PC used WINDOWS
98!
It's super
effective!
BLUE SCREEN
appeared!
BLUE SCREEN
appeared!
BLUE SCREEN
appeared!
BLUE SCREEN
appeared!
BLUE SCREEN
appeared!
BLUE SCREEN
appeared!
gak...Noooo!
PC was fully
BLUE-SCREENED!
Me, cut the
power!
JASON used
CUT!
JASON hacked
away with CUT!
NEARBY TREE
was felled!
JASON gained
ACCESS to UNREACHABLE AREA behind!
Uh... that's
all well and good, but it's not what I had in mind...
HD used SELF-INSTALL!
HD shut down
PC!
Yay!
COMPUTER
CASE was OPENED!
HD was fully
INSTALLED!
WOO!
JASON used
SWITCH!
COMPUTER
became ON!
Now... did
the install work!
RANDOM DATA
began to flood out of the A: DRIVE!
...nope...it
didn't n.n
JASON switched
PC off again!
Me, use do
random stuff in a hope to rectify the problem!
JASON used
THAT!
...and...?
PROBLEM was
SOLVED?
WOOHOO!
JASON's HARD
DRIVE SPACE greatly rose!
Now then...
what does someone do with 40 gigs of HD space...
JASON used
THINK!
BRAIN blew
a FUSE!
...ha ha...I
know!
JASON used
IDEA!
WORLD ended!
....eh, be
quiet...I'll download GOD!
NARRATOR:
Will 40 gigs be enough?
If they can
fit Windows 98 into a gig, then they can fit God into 40..
NARRATOR:
Point...
JASON used
SEARCH the WEB!
Ew, a spider...
JASON used
REMOVE!
SPIDER was
REMOVED!
Okay, now
that's done, let's go on the internet instead...
JASON used
SEARCH the INTERNET!
SEARCH ENGINE
used BANNER AD!
Me, use YOU
SHALL NOT MAKE ME CLICK!
BANNER AD
with the slogan "DOWNLOAD GOD TODAY" appeared!
...uh..I
take that attack back, use click!
JASON used
CLICK!
BROWSER moved
to www.archive.com/religion/major/c/index.html!
Link to DOWNLOAD
GOD appeared!
Heh, me use
Click...
JASON used
CLICK!
FILE INFO
PAGE: GOD.dll
FILE INFO
PAGE: Size: 30.8 gigs
FILE INFO
PAGE: Time to download - 2 weeks over a DSL, 1 week over T3, 2 seconds over
narrator-based do
OWNLOADed!
NARRATOR
notes if this didn't say REALITY at the top, you'd have just uploaded yourself
to your own PC!
...uhh...Ouch,
that could be fun, "ALMIGHTY WEBMASTER, up for download!" - I think I'll
do that...
JASON downloaded
SATAN too, just for fun!
GOD and SATAN
started BATTLING it out on WORMS ARMAGEDDON!
Ironic......But
fun to watch, I suppose...
GOD's TEAM
used HOLY HAND GRENADE!
What else?
3 of SATAN's
WORMS were SENT into the OUTER STRATOSPHERE!
Whee..
SATAN's TEAM
used NAPALM STRIKE!
3 of GOD's
WORMS wound up as FISHFOOD!
I'm sure
there's funner things to do with 40 gigs...
LIGHTNING
used STRIKE!
PC switched
itself OFF!
....Nooo!
O_O
JASON used
SWITCH ON!
Attack failed!
GAH!
PC used FINAL
ATTACK: GLITCH!
PC locked
up forever!
MY HD!
NARRATOR
notes what was ON the HD at the TIME!
Er... that
can be resolved later... But 40 gigs....noo....
BRIEF SILENCE
appeared!
...
BRIEF SILENCE
concluded!
WAAAAAAAAH!
JASON started
RANDOMLY HITTING his PC!
NOOOO! EVIL
EVIL!
JASON went
into HYSTERIA!
JASON was
deemed UNABLE to continue battle!
PC won!
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