Yes, I admit it.
I bought out my own advert to hype this thing.
NARRATOR
can't NARRATE your LAMENTING right now!
..uh..Why
not?
NARRATOR
is BUSY, helping with DECORATIONS!
...but you're
non-corporeal, how can y--
DON'T ASK
QUESTIONS!
NARRATOR
commanded the DECORATIONS to be PUT UP!
DECORATIONS
were PUT UP!
..you haven't
got one word that'll do the job of 'put up', have you...
NARRATOR:
Er.. PUT-- SHUT UP!
Almost funny.
Not quite though. Decorations, use your WRAP attack on the NARRATOR!
DECORATIONS
used WRAP!
DECORATIONS
WRAPped NARRATOR up while RAPPING!
NARRATOR:
MY EARS, THEY BLEED!
Well, everything
does in this version, sooner or later.. Except m-
LARGE SPIKED
HAMMER came down on MATTCHU's HEAD!
..owchie.
Anyway, decorations, back up to the walls and stuff you go..
DECORATIONS
went to their RESPECTIVE PLACES all UNNATURAL-LIKE!
Anyway, it's
TIME for FLAME #42!
NARRATOR:
More like 'Time 'TO' flame Battle #42..
...You truly
do suck. Just look at the records table. See the number of '42's? This is
going to be one BIG battle. Starting.. NOW!
NARRATOR
thought it had ALREADY STARTED!
...just,
don't say a word, and narrate..
NARRATOR:
...uh... but I have to speak to narrate..
....You do?
*sigh* I'll
just start this already..
BATTLE BEGAN!
MILLIONS
of PEOPLE from ALL ACROSS the UNIVERSE have COME to FLAME TODAY!
BALLOONS
and BANNER ADs and even the odd LANI are here!
You're getting
worse at these jokes.
..AHEM..
VIEW panned
in on MATTCHU, standing in a REALLY LARGE and ECHO-Y PLACE, with a PA system!
Actually,
I can just speak normally. Because I'm the player, they'll automatically
hear it.
PA repeated
WORDS!
It's super
deafening!
PA exploded!
...some things
are horribly pointless...
LANI:
Like this battle..?
......just....
never mind.
Anyway..
It's time.. for Flame #42!
WHICH has
already STARTED!
..fine, the
main event of #42!...Which...uh...
ENTIRE FLAME
VERSION CAST is here!
...uh.. They
are.. eheh.. Good, good... So, we can w--
ENTIRE FLAME
VERSION CAST consists of MATTCHU, the NARRATOR, and RDG!
...what?!
But.. the records table...
Uh.. EVERYONE
ELSE went on HOLIDAY this MORNING, don't you remember..? So..uh.. the records
must..uh..
MATT:
You'll see.
.....I'm
screwed.
DACTA:
You don't look it.
...be quiet,
you.
MILLIONS
of EYES look upon MATTCHU for the HYPEd BATTLE EXTRAVAGANZA!
...you know,
when you put it like that, being out here with a discorporeal voice and a
dragon with the mental age of Mélissa... scary thought..
Actually,
HOLD ON...
Oh no..
MILLIONS
and MILLIONS of EYES follow MATTCHU's EVERY WORD AND MOVEMENT, SCRUTINIZING
THEM FOR EVERY SHADE OF EXISTENCE AND--
..just! shut!
up!
K-R:
BUT. HE'S. RIGHT.
...ugh, do
I have to be mocked by everyone now?!
ERIC:
Yes. Even me. MWAHAHA! YOU SUCK!
...well,
you don't get much lower then Eric telling you that you suck...
EXTRA: You--
Oi. No extras
telling me I suck.
EXTRA spontaneously
combusted!
There. Now..uh..
MILLIONS
of PEOPLE want to KNOW why they CAME here!
Well... there
would be a battle of sorts here, but.. uh.. I forgot what I was going to
do now.
EVERYTHING
WENT SILENT!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
SILENCE:
Uh..
...
This silence
is annoying...
SILENCE:
Hey! What did I do this time!
...ugh, give
me strength...
MATTCHU recieved
HM04!
...well,
that was new.
CROWD MEMBER
laughed!
REST of CROWD
decided CROWD MEMBER was BRAIN DEAD, and caused him to EXPLODE!
...hey! Don't
kill people that find this funny u.u;;
AUDIENCE
started to LEAVE!
...uh...
Ok, I'd rather you kill each other then leave..
MASSIVE BATTLE
BROKE OUT in the STANDS while RDG and MATTCHU watched on, HELPLESSLY and
UNA--
RDG:
hey :( we could go and fight them.. and win ^^ yayayay--
But we're
not doing. o.o
RDG:
aw ): :(
So I'm stuck
for the rest of summer with me and this Mélissa clone..?
RDG:
yayayayayay
...Self-Destruct
would be handy right about now.
VOLTORB rolled
in!
...or perhaps
not...
MATTCHU kicked
the VOLTORB AWAY!
...Into the
CROWD!
Oh crap.
ALMIGHTY
EXPLOSION occurred!
MILLIONs
of PEOPLE/ASSORTED THINGS.. fainted!
VOLTORB fainted!
...oops...
I hyped a battle and then ending up fainting everyone that came.. this is
just great..
MATTCHU gained
SO MUCH EXP THAT IT ISN'T FUNNY!
..er.. Hey!
No deliberate non-funny things in this version! Everything has the potential
to be funny..just..uh...some things less then others..
You DONE
yet..?
...uh.. yeah.
MATTCHU grew
to LEVEL... oh boy.
You know,
it seems the only reason narrator count PP and EXP is when they're about
to--
What? MATTCHU
is evolving!
...joy.
MATTCHU evolved
into....uh.....uh?
So..?
NARRATOR
doesn't know!
..wait a
sec.. HOW CAN YOU OF ALL PEOPLE NOT KNOW?!
NARRATOR
doesn't know a BATTLE EVENT.. That has an improbability of.. 1,687,146 to
the something or other.
..Uhm..
Which is
SOMEHOW exactly the same as MATTCHU's EVOLUTION stopping!
...You know,
just because you can't think of something to evolve me into, doesn't mean
you can get out of it like that.
..er.. It
DOESN'T?
NARRATOR
grins EVILLY, and wonders if that's ALSO the same PROBABILITY as MATTCHU
DE-EVOLVING, INSTEAD!
...uh.. Damn.
Err... Whatever, you..
In FACT,
NARRATOR is quite sure it's--
There's £500
behind the bookcase. Pull out the book on 'Narratorial Theory: How to Kill
a Narrator in 25 Steps..'
..NARRATOR
just happens to be OFF the MARK by a couple... Oh well. LUCKY you..!
Well, there
goes my holiday this year..
NARRATOR:
You're the webmaster. You don't get a holiday! And RDG only came in last
battle, she's not allowed one this year..
RDG:
Waaaah :(
I wonder
what happened to Jason being our narrator..
JASON is
BUSY STUDYING so he can GRADUATE this year!
...Jason..
study? Don't be a fool...
NARRATOR
isn't JOKING! LOOK at the
POST
on YELLOW VERSION!
..ok....so
who the hell has been narrating us?
NARRATOR:
Who else but your very first narrator, Mattchu..?
...brilliant...
How the hell am I going to get out of this one...
DEUS EX MACHINA,
of course!
LARGE HAND
came from the SKY and SQUISHED NARRATOR!
..Cool.
NARRATOR:
HEY! ILLOGICAL PLOT DEVICES AREN'T FAIR!
..Do we ever
have logical plot devices?
NARRATOR:
....I really hate you. So much, you're gonna battle anyway. G'bye.
MATTCHU and
RDG disappeared!
..uh?
BE QUIET
AND WAIT UNTIL I SCENE-CHANGE!
..fine..
There. SCENE was
CHANGED!
..we don't
have a settings marker any more.. Where exactly are we..?
WE are HERE!
...I won't
dignify that with a response.
YOU just
DID!
......baah,
shut up..
HERE is an
ARENA!
Just -any-
old arena..?
YES!
Uh.. k..
RDG wants
to fight!
RDG:
noooooo :( I dun wannaaa
...that's
never happened before..
Heh. Narrator
unable to even start a battle?
..uh...hm...
BATTLE wants
to battle!
..Eh?
Your OVERHYPED
BATTLE #42 wishes to FIGHT YOU!
...well,
uh..
BATTLE sent
out BATTLE!
Go, -
MATTCHU sent
out MATTCHU!
HEY! I wasn't
going to do that!
NARRATOR
wants this to be a one-on-one!
BATTLE: Finally,
I, your own writing, gets to go against you.. MWAHAHAHAH!
..uh. Something
tells me that's not a very good i--
BATTLE used
BATTLE!
MATTCHU and
BATTLE start BRAWLING it OUT!
You know,
I hate to let you in on this..
BATTLE: What?
But.. I am..
your author.
BRAWLING
STOPPED!
BATTLE: NO!
THAT CAN'T B-- er.... hey, wait a minute.
Worth a try.
BRAWL continued
MERCILESSLY!
Me, use..
uh.. Scrap!
MATTCHU used
SCRAP!
BATTLE IDEA
was SCRAPPED!
..Yay?
SCRAPPED
IDEA was EDITED OUT!
MATTCHU
won!
..something
tells me I didn't want to scrap that part..
BATTLE used
CONTINUE!
Press any
key to continue. 10, 9, 8, 7--
Oi, OI...
WHERE THE HELL DO I FIND A KEY TO PUSH?!
RDG:
house key? :)
...fine,
Me..uh.. push my house key.
MATTCHU pushed
his HOUSE KEY!
MATTCHU continued!
HOUSE KEY
was PUSHED over a CLIFF!
...wah. Good
job I don't actually -have- a house key.
Hm. No KEY
means NOTHING was PUSHED, then!
6..5..4..
Ugh... err...
3, 2, 1,
0, -1, -2..
You can stop
now..
Hn.. FINE!
MATTCHU was
UNABLE to CONTINUE!
BATTLE wins!
But I can't
put an actual battle down as a win. Someone has to win this battle.
BATTLE was
SO HAPPY THAT..uh.. EVERYONE WON!
...-everyone-?
YES! Even
those on VACATION!
...well,
there's something you don't see every day...
EVERYONE
won!
And, the
SECRET of the 42s on the RECORD LIST, was revealed!
..that was
still very, very lame.
MATT:
:(
..don't
you start..
--
Does that mean
we're keeping Pikamew as the narrator..?
Uh.. YES,
I suppose it does.. but, uh, weren't you supposed to DIE the next time I
got here?
..how about
we just not fight this, and I go away to--
Battle #42a: Some
Other Battle June 1st, 2001
Advert: BE HERE for BATTLE #42! Or RDG'll eat you!
Player: Mattchu
[15-10-2] Last battle; Loss v Narrator's Almighty Wit
...damnit.
PIKAMEW will
make this QUICK then!
BATTLE went
away!
BATTLE 42
is not HERE!
Therefore,
MATTCHU is not at BATTLE #42!
RDG used
EAT!
MATTCHU was
EATEN!
PIKAMEW won!
RDG:
.....:(
I think that's
the most ever :(s in one battle..?
RDG nods!
Kay then.
PIKAMEW wins!
WOOO!
Oh, one more
thing. You're not at battle #42 right now, either.
..uh..
RDG turned
to PIKAMEW...?
RDG:
baai :D
Uh oh.
RDG chased
PIKAMEW away!
Annd.... CUT!
MATT used
CUT!
FELLEN TREE
fell onto MATT!
...ugh...
just finish the battle now..
BATTLE ended!
Comment on this battle at the Feedback Board..
(need gamers.com ID)
|
Back to the opening page |
Back to the Flame index |
Battle 41 |
Battle 43 |