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"Would you turn up the fan, Joe?"
Review at the Network Board. NEXT: the king is exiled. long remain the king.
Are you listening to me?! I said OPEN UP!
Review at the Network Board. NEXT: divided they rise.
I think the light's coming back...
Review at Network Board. NEXT: and the worms crawl in, and the worms don't crawl out.
RAHU: That wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, but it was well worth it.
Light Version Battle #1b - . . . - November 3rd, 2001
Battle Quality: 6/10
"..."
"Joe?"
"I'm a little busy here, in case you hadn't noticed!"
"Fine, whatever, just get over here when you have the time."
"..."
"Joe, hurry up!"
"Alright already!"
"Here, just put the banner up a little higher, I can't reach. ."
"Just use a chair."
"You're here NOW, you might as well help. Hurry it up, they'll be here in a few minutes!. . A little to the left. ."
"I KNOW."
"Great! Perfect. This party's gonna be sooo cool!"
001110010101010101010010011001011100010010011100. . .
011010011110001110011100011101010010011000010111000000010110001010011011010100?
"They're heeeee-re!"
"That's great."
". . ."
"GRARGH! Fine. I'll go get the door."
"You do that."
"Lazy ass."
"Hyper ass."
"Nice comeback."
"Same to you."
"That doesn't make any se-I'M HURRYING, I'M HURRYING, DID YOU STICK YOUR FINGER TO THE DOORBELL WITH SUPERGLUE OR WHAT?!"
"Idiot."
"FI-nally! What took you, watching TV to see if your face would show up?"
"HEH! . . Wait, why do you say that?"
"Dude! You haven't heard?"
"Heard what?"
"He's talking about the new show that's coming on tonight. 'When It Awoke.' Supposed to be great, it's this reality show labyrinthe thing with a monster chasing the people around."
"Didn't they do that, like, six years ago?"
"What are you talking about?"
"KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE, SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"
"Uhh? What was that?"
"My sister. Pfft."
"What a freak. . WOAH?! What's that gnashing sound?"
"Uh. . here, let me show you my bedroom, the other guests should be arriving soon. ."
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"Eh, I can tell better stories than that."
"You WISH. Like that story with the dancing penguins?"
". . That was funny!"
"HAH! Like hell it was!"
"Shhh, keep it down, you'll wake his sister."
"Nah, don't worry, from here the floor is insulated. Besides, the fan's too loud anyway. Could you turn it down, Joe?"
"Shhh, I'm concentrating, Chris."
"Hey, that reminds me. What happened with that show you were talking about? 'They Awoke' or whatever it was called."
"GAHHHH! I forgot all about it! It must have been over hours ago! Dammit, you shoulda reminded me!"
"Don't they show reruns?"
". . Oh yeah. But still. It's a matter of principle."
"Would you all be quiet?! I SAID I was trying to concentrate on this sketch!"
"Shut up, Joe."
"You first."
"Baby!"
"Idiot!"
"Anyway, you never really explained why you thought I must be looking for my face."
"Oh. Well, one of the characters is named Max too."
"Really? Weird."
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"So now what do we do? I'm not hungry anymore."
"We could tell more stories."
"No way, stories suck."
"Do not!"
"Let's play a board game!"
"Like what? Monopoly? I don't LIKE monopoly."
"Let's just see what's in here, we got some new games I don't know about at a garage sale, and . . oooh, what's this? A ouija board?"
"Cool!"
"Boring."
"Aw, c'mon Joe, let's do it."
"No."
"Fine. Here, pull it out."
"'kay, Sean."
"Okay. What'll we ask it first?"
"Uhm, aren't we supposed to have candles and stuff for this?"
"That's only for movies, idiot."
"Shut up, Joe, you're not in this."
"You shut up!"
"Guys, quit it, you're making negative karma!"
"Negative what?"
"Karma's a type of microscopic thingie, right?"
"I . . don't think so. ."
"Well, negative karma is bad, whatever it is. So just chill."
"Yeah, MAX."
"I'm not listening. . ."
"Well neither am I."
"Let's just do this. Put your hands on the thing everyone."
"Alright, so what'll we ask?"
"Um. How about, what's something we can do since we're bored?"
"Sounds good. ."
"Woah! It's moving!"
"Chris , quit moving it, you're cheating."
"Am not!"
"Hey, what's it saying? 'Pokeba'? Is that a kind of sausage?"
"Why would we want to poke a bat? This is silly, let's stop."
"No. Wait. . I think it's spelling something else. ."
"AHHHH! Whoah!"
"What was that?"
"I think my sister pulled out the plug again downstairs. Don't worry, I brought a flashlight up here just in case, it's in my sleeping bag."
"Hey, do you hear some-"
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Light Version Battle #2b - Boredom, Battle, & Banter - November 10th, 2001
Battle Quality: 7/10
Location: Unknown
Player: Lord Bored [0-0-1] Last Appearance: Light Version Battle #10b
Urrgh! I'll never get my throne back at this rate... Oh well, all the better to surprise them if they don't notice me at first...
HEY!! YOU!! GUARD!
GUARD: Hm? Oh, sorry, I was just loafing around on guard duty.
GUARD: ..Wait, it isn't Halloween, why are you dressed up like Bored?
I AM BORED!!!
GUARD: Why don't you just read a book or something?
Forget it.. and anyway, 'loafing around'?! I'd never have allowed you too...
GUARD: We don't obey you, Lord! And our great king has decreed that we shouldn't pay attention to our duties so that we can't be fooled, since we're bumbling and incompetent and stuff.
And I suppose your calling him 'great' has nothing to do with the shiny new sound systems he's been giving to all his guards?
GUARD: Wh-what?... ... But... It's a gift. He.. He said he cared for me.. *sniffles* He... he said he... *sobs*
Um. You're starting to scare me...
GUARD: Sorry, that's my job. I'm the guard, I have to intimidate people.
.. Whatever. Just let me in, set down the drawbridge, let down your hair Rapunzel, let me in let me in little pig, yadda yadda yadda. I'm starting to get mad here!
GUARD: Nah. The passwords are obsolete now. Get out of here, before I slice you with my sword.
You can't slice me, you're up there and I'm down here.
GUARD: Point.
GUARD went down STARS!
GUARD opened DRAWBRIDGE!
GUARD walked over to LORD BORED!
LORD BORED used MOAT BALL!
GUARD: Ack! Stupid overspecialized capture-balls...
Heeheehee! Most excellent.
LORD BORED entered CASTLE!
That's what he gets for hiring rent-a-guards...
AMAZON ARMY: Which is what we're here for.
Yes, which is what you're here for... ah... uh... Shucks.
LORD BORED was brought before the KING!
KING: Hellllo, Bored. I wasn't aware that you'd be paying my kingdom a visit today.
It hasn't always been your kingdom... Once...
KING: Meaningless nostalgia. My dynasty will last a thousand years, and you will be forgotten by all peoples forever.
'Dynasty'? Don't tell me you and the amazons...
KING: Silence! You are nothing but ancient dust before time, thanks to me!
Oh yeah?!
KING: Yeah.
You suck.
KING: Child, I tire of this. Why are you here?
Well-
KING: I suppose it couldn't possibly be because you were sitting, on a little straw-woven chair in a little hut within your little swamp village, and thinking, "Gee, I sure miss being king of the entire land, which stretches as far as they eye can see from horizon to horizon to horizon to horizon. Hey, maybe I could reclaim the throne if only I defeated the current king and took over his throne, thus returning me to my former glory."
KING: Isn't that silly? Too far-fetched to believe. So, why ARE you here?
Um... Well, how about a rematch? With your throne at stake, just like last time?
KING: ...
KING: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
KING: No.
Come on! Return my throne and I'll use all my power to help you find the ghost pyramid!
KING: I don't need it anymore, idiot.
Dammit, I have to battle you! I don't care what you say, prepare to die!
KING: Weakling. Fool. I should have destroyed you to begin with.
What kind of coward are you?
KING: That does it. Narrator! To me!
NARRATOR is HERE!
NARRATOR is ALWAYS HERE!
KING: These days, you are... but you were not always here, a time ago.
NARRATOR has always been HERE!
HERE has not always been HERE, however!
KING: Hm. So we suppose...
KING: I desire a battle against this whining has-been.
KING wants to fight!
Hah! I have new creatures for you now, and they are well-trained! So say 'Goodbye'!
LORD BORED wants to fight!
KING: We'll see. Fenrir!
FENRIR appeared!
FENRIR: My king.
KING: Go and take care of him.
FENRIR: Oh, thank you, I'll enjoy this...
KING sent out FENRIR!
Go forth, my jester!
LORD BORED sent out BLUE JESTER!
BLUE JESTER used JINGLE-CANNON!
JINGLEJANGLEJINGLEJANGLEJINGLEJANGLEJINGLEJANGLEJINGLEJANGLEJINGLEJANGLEJINGLEJANGLEJINGL-*SMASH*
NARRATOR does not like annoying JINGLING CANNONBALLS!
Hey, they're exquisitely crafted to make a pleasant, uplifting jingling!
NARRATOR believes that the only thing that was UPLIFTED was NARRATOR's blood pressure!
What a tone-deaf omnipresent bodyless entity.
FENRIR used ACID WHIP!
Attack missed!
Ha-ha! You traitorous wretch, you're as weak as ever!
FENRIR: Hsss...
BLUE JESTER used BLUES!
BLUE JESTER sang BLUES lyrics in disturbingly PBS-SHOW-THEMESONG-ESQUE style!
FENRIR: Can there be any true meaning to existence, when such horrendous minstrels can be allowed to develop vocal cords?!
FENRIR is confused!
FENRIR used FORETELL!
FENRIR sees the future...
BLUE JESTER used TWIRL KICK!
FENRIR countered with EBON SLASH!
BLUE JESTER: :(
FENRIR blinked!
BLUE JESTER used BLUE GAUNTLET!
FENRIR fell over backwards!
Its absurdity will overcome you, Fenrir!
FENRIR used SHADOW GAZE!
BLUE JESTER is paralyzed!
Nooo! Escape with your Dizzy Jump!
BLUE JESTER is fully paralyzed! Can't move!
Damn it all..
FENRIR used ENERGY DRAIN!
BLUE JESTER fainted!
Go, Mechagnome!
LORD BORED sent out MECHAGNOME!
FENRIR used AFTERIMAGE!
FENRIR's evade rose...
Hmm. How about this...
MECHAGNOME used GLOW LANTERN!
FENRIR's evade fell!
FENRIR used NIGHTSTRIKE!
It's super effective!
MECHAGNOME is in bad condition!
I knew I shouldn't have made a solar-powered servant... Oi.
KING sweatdropped!
MECHAGNOME used DRILL BONK!
MECHAGNOME BORED into FENRIR!
Critical hit!
FENRIR fainted!
At last... now for you, False King!
KING: Nope. Amazons, get him.
KING sent out AMAZON1!
KING sent out AMAZON2!
Fair's fair. I choose Abyss Maggot!!
LORD BORED sent out ABYSS MAGGOT!
KING: What a rare specimen... I see you have indeed been busy.
AMAZON1 used SUPERCHARGE!
AMAZON1 is getting pumped!
AMAZON2 used SOMERSAULT FRENZY!
ABYSS MAGGOT evaded attack!
...But MECHAGNOME was knocked onto its side!
MECHAGNOME is incapacitated!
... And I knew I shouldn't have made a servant that can't get up if it falls over...
KING: You'd really suck at Battlebots.
At what?
KING: Never mind... Something from another life.
AMAZON1 used GODDESS ARROW!
MECHAGNOME shortcircuited!
MECHAGNOME fainted!
Abyss Maggot, you're my last champion now!
MAGGOT flopped around!
AMAZON2 used STOMP!
ABYSS MAGGOT burrowed into AMAZON2!
AMAZON2 joined LORD BORED!
KING: I expected as much. But now the maggot will be that much easier to defeat... hurting the amazon will hurt it, and she's a much bigger target.
AMAZON2: Are you implying something?
KING: Um... no. You look very slim and beautiful, as always.
AMAZON2: --BZARGH! I MUST DESTROY ALL!--
KING: Hm, are you sure the Abyss Worm is really controlling her? She seems to be acting fairly normally to me. Attack, loyal Amazon!
AMAZON2: --BZARGH! BZARGH!--
AMAZON1 and AMAZON2 got into a catfight!
KING and LORD BORED waited and drank TEA!
KING: Mmmm, this is good tea.
Yep.
AMAZON2 fainted!
AMAZON2: --...bzzzaaaarrrghhhh...--
ABYSS MAGGOT fainted!
Grr.. yes, the down side of it's special power is that it and its host will share health.. but now there's only a single amazon between myself and my glorious destiny!!!
LORD BORED sent out LORD BORED!
AMAZON1 used TRI-ARROW!
LORD BORED used SPINNING SHIELD!
ARROWs bounced off and hit FLOOR!
I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT!! YOU WON'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!
LORD BORED used CHARGE!
AMAZON1 used WAVE OF ARROWS!
LORD BORED used SHIELD TORNADO!
QUIVER of ARROWS missed entirely... except for 1 ARROW!
A single arrow? Hee, naught but a scratch! I have more than a hundred times that much health!
LORD BORED used BORED SWORD!
AMAZON1 fainted!
Now... you have nothing to hide behind. My destiny is reclaimed, for I know how weak you truly are. Wizard of Oz, eh?
KING sent out KING!
LORD BORED approached THRONE!
KING: Yes, you have succeeded... so now what will you do, with my power and influence?
KING: Bring things back to the way they USED to be? Chaos and pain and pointlesness, as far as the eye can see, from horizon to horizon to horizon to horizon?
KING: I would do anything to prevent that. I cannot allow that. I have given this place a purpose. I have given it a goal.
KING: You would do nothing but taint this people and bring them back into darkness.
KING: Bored... Yes, I know all about your kind... People who think that nothing has the potential to expand and become legendary... People like that don't even deserve to exist.
KING: I'll destroy them all, and bring every other person on this world under my control, and then move on to conquer every Narrator-forsaken world in the universe...
KING: And then........... then...
KING: But you can't hear me anymore, now can you?
KING: Cliche as it may be, the arrow was poisoned, and you are now fully paralyzed and weakening fast.
KING: Soon you'll be unconscious, and when you awaken, you too will wish you had never been born.
KING: *sigh* You bored me, I fear. You all bore me, you simple assassins and petty nobles.
KING: Now it's just a matter of time.
KING used MAX REVIVE on FENRIR!
FENRIR was revived!
MAX was revived!
KING: Wha-!? Narrator, your words intrigue me.
FENRIR: Max?... The ones you spoke of, my king?
KING: Indeed. It's as you foretold. Can you still sense it?
FENRIR: Dimly... something's happening, or has happened, or is going to happen... Things aren't all moving in the right direction, time is bent and twisted.. Events happen in the wrong order.. It will fade soon, though. It's just hard to see...
KING: No matter. It couldn't be anyone else.
FENRIR: I will handle the preperations, with your leave.
KING: Certainly. I wish to see them squirm in my dungeons for the indignities I have suffered... Hahaha... Fenrir, have you ever heard the tale of the Coat of Many Colors?
FENRIR: I don't believe so, my lord. Is it a Pokebattle?
KING: No... it's a story... an old story. Go, make your preperations. Be 'creative'. Heh heh heh.
FENRIR: As you wish.
FENRIR left!
KING: Yes... Yes, they are coming. After all these months the door swings open again...
LORD BORED fainted!
KING: ...And I think that things are about to get a lot more interesting around here.
Light Version Battle #3b - The Quest Begins - November 14th, 2001
Battle Quality: 7/10
Player: Max [0-0-0] Last Appearance: Light Version Battle #1b
CHRIS: No... It's different this time!
JOE: STUPID POWER OUTAGE!
I... HE... NARRATOR is alive!
Woaah!
MAX fell over!
Gah, stupid chair.
SEAN: Who's saying that?!
BEAM OF LIGHT shot up from the FLOOR!
BAXTER: Incredible! That's a hologram! ..right?
FWAA~, FWAA~, FWAA~, FWAA~, FWAA~! Crimson LIGHT filled the room!
...
JOE: This isn't funny. Who's doing that?
SEAN: What... IS it?
NARRATOR is NARRATOR!
NARRATOR is confused...!
It hurt itself in its confusion?!
What is this PLACE?!
It's... it's my house... well, not my house, my parents', but I live here.
What are YOU?!
CHRIS: Is that light talking to us?! I'm asleep, must be dreaming.
We're awake. I think.
SEAN: We're people.. Humans.
BAXTER: Homo sapiens.
HUMUS ALPINES?!
BAXTER: Homo sapiens!
WHO MISSED APE YENS?!
BAXTER: Never mind.
BEAM OF LIGHT billows against CEILING!
JOE: No... No... No way...
SEAN: Are you a ghost?
NARRATOR is NOT a GHOST!
SEAN is a MOUNTAINOUS THICK MIXTURE OF MASHED CHICKPEAS, TAHINI, OIL, LEMON JUICE, AND GARLIC?!
SEAN: You know my name!?
CHRIS: The light..
CHRIS: It's getting stronger.
CHRIS backed up into BED!
CHRIS: Ow! Hey, why are you describing everything we do?
NARRATOR's JOB is to describe!
CHRIS: Well, it's annoying.
CHRIS will grow used to IT over time!
CHRIS: I don't want to grow used to it! This sleepover sucks anyway, I'm out of here.
NO! Do not open that DOOR!
BAXTER: Don't anger it, Chris! I think it's an alien entity of some sort.
CHRIS reached out to open DOOR!
DOOR briefly FLICKERED between being FIVE DOORS and ONE!
CHRIS: Waah!?!
JOE: I can't believe it...
We're trapped in my room?!
NARRATOR was TRYING to tell BEINGS YENNING SIMIANS...!
This ROOM is now SEALED OFF from the rest of your REALITY!
BAXTER: How so?
The VORTEX which NARRATOR appeared from is still expanding...
Its EFFECT FIELD has caused multiple overlapping layers of REALITY to CONJOIN!
CHRIS: Well then get us out of here, you insane.. voice.. thing.. um..
NARRATOR is not yet strong enough to NARRATE things which would not happen ANYWAY! Only to NARRATE things which are ABOUT to happen right before they do, or to briefly HALT things which are about to happen, or to NARRATE things which ALMOST happened!
And NARRATOR is very LIMITED in even doing that! Like THIS:!
NARRATOR used MAJOR REALITY ALTERATION!
No PP left for MAJOR REALITY ALTERATION!
SEE?!
Well buy some weights or something.. work out..
SEAN: This isn't the time for jokes, dude.
Sorry..... But, this is just.. unreal.
NARRATOR recquires LIGHT SHARDS scattered throughout WORLDS on the other side of those DOORWAYs!
Then NARRATOR can open DOORWAY and HOME O' SOUPIANS may return to their WORLD!
BAXTER: This reminds me of a computer game. What next, is there some evil force that'll try to stop us at all costs for whatever reason?
DUNNO!
FIVE DOORWAYS must be NARRATED away by NARRATOR if HOMO SAPIENS want to escape before the VORTEX sucks them away forever!
FIVE HOMING SAPLINGS must enter DOORWAYS leading to other WORLDS and retrieve LIGHT SHARDS for NARRATOR!
JOE: This is... SO COOL!!!
MAX eyed JOE oddly!
JOE: ...What?
BAXTER: Come on, guys, we need to hurry. If the Narrator's telling the truth, our time is running out.
CHRIS: Are you serious?!
SEAN: He's right. If this isn't real, no harm done if we try to find these shards. If it is, what if we don't try to get them and never escape?! I'd miss ALL my shows!!! Nooooo! It's so horrible... so... horrible...
SEAN curled up into a FETAL POSITION!
Just chill! We can handle this. We can handle anything. Remember winning the water balloon contest last week? We're on a winning streak!
So, how do we go about getting these shard things?
BAXTER: Hmmmm. We should probably all enter each doorway together, get the shard inside, then leave and move onto the next door. That way if there's anything bad there, we have strength in numbers.
SEAN: This is so Twilight Zone-esque. ...AHHHH, THE TWILIGHT ZONE IS ON IN SIX HOURS!!
SEAN rocks back and forth mumbling to HIMSELF!
NARRATOR notes that if you enter a DOORWAY, you cannot return to HERE until you have a SHARD from there!
NARRATOR recquires the brief BURST OF STRENGTH! NARRATOR will not be strong enough to let YOU back THROUGH otherwise!
BAXTER: ... That doesn't sound good.
CHRIS: Why tonight of all nights did something like this have to happen to meeee?
So if we go in one door and can't get the crystal for some reason?
JOE: .. We'd all be trapped.. awesome!
JOE.
CHRIS: JOE.
SEAN: JOE.
JOE: WHAT?!
BAXTER: We'll have to split up, one person to each door. Then if someone doesn't come back, everyone else can go rescue him.
No, no, that doesn't make sense. It's all or nothing, if we don't get every shard all of us are doomed, so we should use our full power on each one.
NARRATOR notes that if some SHARDS are especially stronger than OTHERS, finding the stronger ones first could result in making looking for the WEAKER ones unnecessary!
..Alright, fine, we'll split up.
CHRIS: YOU TWO ARE INSANE!
SEAN: Which door to which person?
CHRIS: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THREE?!
JOE: But I don't want to miss anything in the other doors that I don't enter!
CHRIS: AAAAAAIEEEEE! You're all.. all.. so...
CHRIS started PACING!
CHRIS: I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITHOUT YOU TELLING ME!
Look Chris, we don't know the game rules here. We have to do what the big voice says. We don't know what's going on, so we have to hit the ground running!
NARRATOR finds the METAPHORS unappealing!
BAXTER: Sounds reasonable. I'll handle the first door.
SEAN: I .. I guess I'll take the last one. Narrator, do you know anything about which door goes where?
NARRATOR knows NOTHING!
JOE: That's reassuring. I'll take the third door, it looks like the best one.
BAXTER: Actually, they all look the same.
JOE: Right, like you can see them better than me, four-eyes?
BAXTER: Probably, simian.
JOE: Idiot.
We're running out of time here!
BAXTER: Right. Sorry.
JOE: Hmph.
I can take door four. So Chris, you're #2?
CHRIS: Sure. Why not. This is just a dream, I might as well enjoy it until I wake up.
CHRIS, MAX, JOE, BAXTER, and SEAN approach DOORs!
Well.. um, okay, let's go?
BAXTER: Certainly.
JOE: Ohhh yeah!
CHRIS: Why not?
SEAN: Okay.
BAXTER opened DOOR 1!
BAXTER vanished!
CHRIS entered DOOR 2!
CHRIS vanished!
JOE entered DOOR 3!
JOE vanished!
MAX hesitated for a moment...
SEAN entered DOOR 5!
SEAN vanished!
Okay.. here goes nothing..
DOORs opened!
BAXTER returned!
... in eight seperate pieces!
OH GOD!
CHRIS returned!
... much older looking!
AHHHH!
JOE did not return!
Nooo!
SEAN returned!
... looks the same.
Hi.
SEAN: Greetings.
CHRIS: ... Max, is that you?
Um... yes?
BAXTER: *attracts flies*
What happened here... I don't understand...
CHRIS: So I'll explain it to you.
Light Version Battle #4b - His Quest Ends - November 16th, 2001
Battle Quality: 8/10
Player: Baxter [6-2-3] Last Appearance: Light Version Battle #12b
You're a monster!
RAHU: No. She was a monster, I am simply fulfilling my function.
RAHU smiled!
RAHU looked down at the DEMONESS!
RAHU: Just doing my job, ma'am. Heh-heh-hehh...
RAHU's head SNAPPED back up to look at BAXTER!
STAY BACK!
RAHU: Heh heh heh...
RAHU walked towards BAXTER!
Get away from me!
RAHU: The Reaper heeds no man's protest.
NARRATOR will have to start BATTLE if BAXTER doesn't leave NOW! Right NOW!!!
I don't need a second hint!
BAXTER ran away!
RAHU: HEH! I'd almost forgotten how amusing you realworlders can be...
RAHU used STRETCH!
RAHU's LEG stretched, raising RAHU to great heights!
RAHU walked and arrived in front of BAXTER in seconds!
Aaaah!
RAHU: The pyramid will remain unexplored by anyone! Your Narrator cannot save you now!
Most... impressive.
RAHU wants to fight!
Crud... I can't afford this delay...
BAXTER used TRIP!
Attack failed! RAHU's LEGs are too strong!
This is not good at all!
HOMO SAPIENs seem to have a TALENT for UNDERSTATEMENT!
RAHU used FORMSHIFT!
RAHu's RIGHT ARM turned into a GIANT ELEPHANT FOOT!
No!!!
BAXTER ran between RAHU's legs!
BAXTER escaped!
RAHU: ...
RAHU: D'oh.
BAXTER entered GHOST PYRAMID!
RAHU turned around to face ENTRYWAY!
RAHU used SQUISH!
RAHU's LEGs squished, lowering RAHU to great depths!
RAHU: You are one weird Narrator.
RAHU entered GHOST PYRAMID!
BAXTER moved down HALLWAY!
So this is it.. we've finally reached it...
YES! The GHOST PYRAMID is one of the few REMNANTs left behind by the SPIDER of the SUN!
An unusual name.
BAXTER entered LARGE CHAMBER!
Other end of CHAMBER has a TABLET with a KEYHOLE in it!
This is good.
Between BAXTER and TABLET are three giant worms with teeth!
This isn't good.
SCHRAP WORM 1 appeared!
SCHRAP WORM 2 appeared!
SCHRAP WORM 3 appeared!
This is all I have left, but it'll have to do.. go, Evil Rabid Mime of Doom!
SCHRAP WORMs want to fight!
SCHRAP WORMs sent out SCHRAP WORM 1!
SCHRAP WORMs sent out SCHRAP WORM 2!
SCHRAP WORMs sent out SCHRAP WORM 3!
BAXTER wants to fight!
BAXTER sent out DOOMMIME 1!
BAXTER sent out DOOMMIME 2!
BAXTER sent out DO-!
Uh, Narrator?
Oh! Sorry!
SCHRAP WORM 1 used DONUT!
SCHRAP WORM 1 bit its own TAIL, then spun through the air to try and BIND DOOMMIME!
DOOMMIME used INVISIBLE DOOM!
SCHRAP WORM 1 evaded the attack!
Oh no, look out!
DOOMMIME ducked and was SMASHED by the SCHRAP WORM's side!
SCHRAP WORMs 2 and 3 used DUO STRIKE!
DOOMMIME used INVISIBLE POGO STICK!
DOOMIME evaded!
SCHRAP WORMs 2 and 3 are hit with recoil!
DOOMMIME used MIME BEAM!
DOOMMIME is charging up...
SCHRAP WORMs 1, 2, and 3 used TRI STRIKE!
NO! Evade it or you're done for, Mime!
DOOMMIME used INVISIBLE MIRROR!
DOOMMIME's evade rose... somehow!
TRI STRIKE broke MIRROR!
SEVEN YEARS of INVISIBLE BAD LUCK for SCHRAP WORMs!
DOOMMIME does not like MIMING with NARRATOR NARRATING whatever it does!
DOOMMIME thinks that takes all of the POINT out of MIMING!
DOOMMIME wishes NARRATOR would stop that!
DOOMMIME wishes NARRATOR would STOP THAT NOW!!!
DOOMMIME is getting angry!
DOOMMIME starts gesturing and spelling our inappropri...
NARRATOR!!!
What? .. Oh! Uh. Er... Sorry again!
DOOMMIME is fully charged!
DOOMMIME released MIME BEAM!
SCHRAP WORM 3 mime-fainted!
SCHRAP WORMs 1 and 2 attempted to use TRI STRIKE!
DUO or DONUT! There is no TRI!
Right, their attack power should be greatly lowered now.. The perfect time to strike.
DOOMMIME used DOOM BOX!
SCHRAP WORM 1 cannot fit in a BOX! No effect!
SCHRAP WORM 1 used BIND!
DOOMMIME is trapped!
SCHRAP WORM 2 used ENDLESS BITE!
DOOMMIME was DECAPITATED!
DOOMMIME fainted!
Oh no... there are still two left, and that's two too many!
Not to mention...!
RAHU: That's my cue!
RAHU appeared!
Rock and a hard place... Narrator?!
There are too MANY! Try using the KEY, hurry!
BAXTER ran over to use LIGHT KEY on TABLET!
RAHU: No!
RAHU used FORMSHIFT!
RAHU's RIGHT ARM turned into a torch!
BAXTER turned KEY!
Now how do I get this open?!
RAHU approached BAXTER!
RAHU: I will enjoy watching you suffer...
SCHRAP WORM 2 used MASSIVE WHIP!
RAHU was knocked away!
Woah! That is one strong tail!
SCHRAP WORM 1: Hreeeeesssch...
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GET AWAY!
SCHRAP WORM 1 flew at BAXTER!
I'm sensing some communication proble... WOAH!
DOOR below TABLET flew open!
BAXTER fell through HOLE!
SCHRAP WORM 1 crawled in after BAXTER!
BAXTER landed and ran!
RAHU: You won't escape me, fool!!
RAHU used ENERGY DRAIN!
SCHRAP WORM 2 squealed and writhed!
RAHU used COLD SWAT!
SCHRAP WORM 2 burrowed into WALL and VANISHed!
RAHU: Grrr... I can't believe a mere realworlder's causing so much trouble for us... He will be dead soon enough, I feel it. But the Light Shard will not be his.
BAXTER continued running!
SCHRAP WORM 1 continued following!
SCHRAP WORM 1 is catching up...
BAXTER rounded CORNER just in time!
SCHRAP WORM 1 slid into WALL!
SCHRAP WORM 1: Greeeaaah! Hzzzzzzzh!
Maybe Chris was right, all those weeks ago... Is this a nightmare?