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Back...
Location: Merketplace
MERMERCHANT: You break it, you buy it! Silence, fifty-five clams. Eh, hehe...
Review at the Network Board. NEXT: happy new dictatorship. Vote in this poll with your guess:
Keep them away!
Player: King [30 - 6 - 14]
GUARD: ...uh.
Review at the Network Board. NEXT: a prison by any other name would smell as sweet.
Light Version Battle #9b - Into the Grasp of Corniness - January 6th, 2002
Battle Quality: 7/10
Location: Dungeon Central (motto: 'feel special while you writhe.')
Player: Prisoner [0-2-0] Last Appearance: Unknown
They're back...
FOOTSTEPS grew closer!
They're baaaaack...
FOOTSTEPS stopped!
PRISONER woke up in a delirious rage!
nnr...?
DUNGEON DOOR opened!
LEE stepped in!
PRISONER looked up!
PRISONER coughed a few times!
Y-you've... come to rescue me...?! To shatter my shackles and help me overthrow the king...
LEE: ...
KING stepped in!
I see... Et tu...
KING: Hmmm. 'And so the mighty have fallen?' No, you were never a mighty adversary of mine, much less a worthy one. But if anyone has fallen, it is certainly you.
Some have fallen who will rise once more...
And some have risen who will fall soon enough...
KING: Now what do you think you are, an X Mechanas? Hahahahahaha... ha ha... ha...
...
So that's why you've come here? To gloat?
KING: Pretty much.. This shall be our last meeting. By the time I've returned here from squashing a group of real-worlder children, my torturers shall be finished with you.
KING: The children.. they'll be my final enemies.
You said... Did you say... 'real'-world children?!? Hn...
KING: Heh. Does that interest you? Good.
KING: The more hope you still have in you, the more painful your torture shall seem.
You'll see... of all people, you should know that children from another world can change the path of destiny...
KING: I will not allow it! Nothing happens unless I decree it, this is my world.
What a child you really are...
LEE: SILENCE! YOU FOOL!!
LEE used BASH!
pffhuhnn...
PRISONER is in critical condition!
Unngh...
LEE: GRARRH! You have lost your title, your name, and soon you will lose your sanity!! If you want to lose a few limbs first, however, I'd be glad to oblige!!!
KING: ... General. Enough. There is no time for this.
LEE: Yes, king. Don't worry, everything will be perfect.
PRISONER looked up at LEE and KING!
Meow, meow, the kitty-cat calls... who is your master, little kitty-cat?
Why, the dread lord, our lieing king, who lets his precious kitten curl up on his lap!
But from where, then, would the dread lord get milk to keep his little pet content?
LEE blinked!
KING: ... You've knocked out of him what sense he had! You're the fool...
LEE: I-I'm sorry, king!
Oh, perrrrhaps from his dread lady?
KING: I am getting bored. Come, General Lee.
LEE: Yes, king.
Damn you all!
KING and LEE left DUNGEON!
Ha-ha, I scared them off... that'll show them not to mess with-
FENRIR appeared!
EEP.
PRISONER fainted in fright!
FENRIR slammed DUNGEON DOOR shut!
Player: Max [1-1-0] Last Appearance: Light Version Battle #7b
SEAN: ...
CHRIS: uh....
Ooooh!
CHRIS walked over to COUNTER!
CHRIS: Excuse me, but have you seen any nor.. humans around here?
MERMERCHANT: Humen? Yes, of courswe! Why, just last wavesday there was that special on The Human Network...
MERMERCHANT: Nice costumes, by the way. You selling?
CHRIS: ... Uh.
CHRIS: .. Thanks, but no.
Hey, look guys! They've got goldfish birthday cakes in the back!
MERMERCHANT: Those are cakes for fish birthdays, not fish-shaped pastries!
OH MY GOD, THEY HAVE MUFFINS!!!
CHRIS: ...
SEAN: You simpleton!... Ooooh! An electronics shelf?!
SEAN swam to other section of STORE!
CHRIS: ...
CHRIS floated over to MAX!
CHRIS: Let's get out of here. We still have Joe to find. I get the feeling there aren't many humans around here...
Aww, but where could we find Joe anyway?
MAX poked the FISHFOOD MUFFINS!
Hee-hee. Spongey.
SEAN put away FREAKY SHRIMP-SHAPED NIGHT-LIGHTS!
SEAN: I got a glimpse of this place before I passed out. It's basically a dome with a buncha giant buildings in the middle!
SEAN: That must be where all the important stuff is. The city's center.
CHRIS eyed MAX!
SEAN: With the bubble exoskeletons and sound-based weapons, they must be very advanced. They'd probably have good knowledge of the world, even if they only live underwater...
SEAN: Hell, they'd probably have enough scientific prowress to find out just about...
SEAN: ... any...
SEAN: ... thing...
SEAN: ...
*drool*
SEAN: !
SEAN: Uh, wait, actually, maybe we should leave. The guy probably couldn't be around here... he's just still looking for the shards somewhere.
CHRIS: No, you were right. He came in the same place, so he probably passed through this place at least at some point. Max! We're leaving!
SEAN: But, how can we even be sure that he did emerge from the s-
*stare*
SEAN: .....
CHRIS: Max, don't eat the...
*chomp*
CHRIS: ...bleg it all.
MERMERCHANT: HEYYY!!! YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT!!!!!!!
SEAN facepalmed!
CHRIS: I'm sorry, but we don't have any clams...
MERMERCHANT: You kids!!!
Worry not, it's still intact in my stomach!
MERMERCHANT: That does it!
MERMERCHANT wants to fight!
SEAN used HEAVY FIST!
MERMERCHANT: gwaaaaaaaaaaaah....
MERMERCHANT fainted!
MERMERCHANT: One nose.... eight... een.. clams.
SEAN won!
Mmm, good muffins.
SEAN: What are you, half-fish?!
No.. I don't even like the water, I can't wait until we get out of these itchy bubble clothes..
CHRIS: Yeah, I've had... some bad experiences with water...
SEAN: I'm not the biggest fan of it myself, but do we just leave the merchant floating around bleeding here? Someone could walk in at any minute...
This is really good cake!
CHRIS: This is such a mess... Nice going, Max.
Shut up!! You got us into this!
CHRIS: ...
CHRIS: And how the hell did I do that?
SEAN: Ek!!! Danger!
SHARK drifted by!
SHARK: BLOOD!!!
CHRIS: Eek! Shark!
HUMUS ALPINES ran away.. uh, swam away!
SHARK: Eeek! Blood!
SHARK swooned!
Eeeek! Bad joke!
CHRIS: NARRATOR! GET OVER HERE!
But NARRATOR is SHOPPING! ;.;
POLICE SIRENS gargle nearby!
CHRIS cracks his KNUCKLES!
CHRIS: Narrator, you have amensia, so you don't know what sort of techniques I learned in narrational school.
CHRIS: Allow me to elaborate.
CHRIS: If you don't get over here and keep up with us so you'll be able to send us out of this insane aquarium of a world once we find this world's Shard, I'll force you to come with us!
. . .
Bah, FINE! They don't have anything in my COLOR anyway!
HUMUS ALPINES ran down HALLWAY!
HALLWAY stretches off into DISTANCE, DOORWAYS to SHOPS on one SIDE, ROAD on the OTHER, like an enclosed EXTRA SIDEWALK!
CHRIS: Shut up! You're so loud you'll lead the police right here!
SEAN: Actually, I doubt the police could have found us so fast in such a large place, with few to none as witnesses.
*buuuuurrrp*
SEAN: Even in such an advanced city... They must have been heading somewhere else.
CHRIS: We should still hurry.
SEAN: .... Indeed, it is a bit too risky.
I feel sick...
SKIPPY LONGSOCKS swam speedily by, muttering!
CHRIS: Woah there!
Watch where you're going, you maniac!
HUMUS ALPINES continued down HALLWAY!
SEAN: I just hope we reach the end soon.
CHRIS: I just hope the police aren't waiting for us at the end.
I just hope *urp* that we find out where Joe went soon so we can get outta here... Invading place after place to find the Shards will be bearable with all my normal friends around.
End of HALLWAY appeared!
SEAN: Excellent.
Giant empty STRETCH OF GRASS extends ahead, without any RESIDENCES or wandering MERFOLK!
CHRIS: Woohoo!
At the end of the GRASS is a cluster of SIDE-BY-SIDE BUILDINGS, including a SHRINE, EVENT DIRECTORY, and HOSPITAL! The largest one is the CLAM TREASURY, for matters regarding all things money!
That means exchanging for valid money, finding out if Joe came here, and getting my stomach pumped! *squee*
On the GRASS, between HUMUS ALPINES and CLUSTER, is a giant floating BLACK ANT-MOLLUSK ship!
CHRIS: What the...?!
Crap! Is it too late to add 'not getting killed or painfully injured' to my wishlist?
SEAN: Think we should examine it?
Gigantic SHIP floated down and LANDED in front of HUMUS ALPINES!
N-n-no, I think that's a bad idea...
BUBBLES fly from the ship's BOTTOM as a JET-like shape drops from the BOTTOM, twists ASIDE, then floats forwards!
CHRIS: Run!!
SEAN: Where!?
We're dead!!
The sound of HISSING CRACKLES emit from the JET, accompaned by a VOICE!
KING: That's it. Stop there.
Oh... oh.
No.
DARK SHAPE of KING sits in CHAIR in the small JET-thingie! FENRIR sits next to him!
SEAN: Who are you?! The Narrator says you're the king... the king of this city?
KING: I am... the destruction of your lives...
FENRIR grins, perfectly like a WOLF!
CHRIS: Wait, that...?
It's not possible!
KING stood up!
SHADOWS fell away!
KING was renamed...
Yep... Definetly too late.
Light Version Battle #10b - Full Circle - January 20th, 2002
Battle Quality: 6/10
Location: Northern Dominion Castle
Player: Joe [29 - 6 - 14] Last Appearance: Light Version Battle #18b
Hold them back!
JOE picked out his POKEBALL!
Alright. Guard the doors.
Hold them ALL back!
NARRATOR followed as JOE ran into THRONEROOM!
KING appeared!
KING sits upon THRONE lit by SICKLY YELLOW TORCHES!
KING: What the hel.. who are you?! No peasants may enter the king's presence!
JOE wants to fight!
KING: An ASSASSIN!!!
I'm no petty hireling. I am here to challenge you for your ill-deserved throne!
KING: Very well then, I accept. Guaaaaards!
It's no use squawking like that. You're too late... Your foolish guards lie soundly defeated, and you will soon be just the same.
KING: How dare you!
KING sent out KING!
Hahaaahaahaahahaha!
JOE sent out farthest!
KING: Wh... what is that thing? A Narrator and some sort of demon... you're no ordinary murderer!
KING: What are you, an Eeralane?
farthest used SILVER MISSILES!
KING: Aaaah!
KING is trapped to THRONE in a CAGE!
KING: For this indignity... you'll suffer!
KING pushed BUTTON!
Watch it, farthest...
What?
THRONE is evolving!
THRONE evolved into... KING GUN!
...
That's it? AH-HEH-HEH-HEH.... This is just pathetic!
farthest leaped at KING!
KING: I'm sorry... Am I BORING you?
KING used MASS PINS!
farthest used GUARD WINGS!
WEB of BULLETS shot from KING GUN!
BULLETS drilled into GUARD WINGS... then dropped harmlessly to the GROUND!
farthest used COUNTER!
WINGS smashed into KING GUN, cutting it into THREE PIECES!
KING GUN exploded!
KING is still TRAPPED!
Check.
KING: Wh... what do you want from me?! I've never hurt anyone, I'm just a simple country king...
Don't lie to me, you monster. You make me sick. I'll kill you, then.. rule all your domains! And beyond! The amazons are my allies, your stronghold is ours.
Idiot.
KING: I know you are, but what am I?
Dead meat.
KING: I know you are, but what-
farthest used VENOM CLAWS!
KING is in critical condition!
KING: nyaahg..
You're still ALIVE? What are you wearing, X Mechanas armor?
KING: please... spare... me... take my kingdom but... leave me... be...
farthest breathed IN and OUT slowly!
You look so pathetic. This isn't nearly as interesting as I'd imagined all these months... Hell, sure, I'll leave you alive... I'll also imprison you far beneath the earth, and there you will both lie, never to feel the fresh air of the above on your.. your...
JOE sat DOWN!
....
KING: Huh?
Return, farthest one.
JOE withdrew farthest!
Give me your crown.
KING: Alright.. then... HERE!
JOE recieved CROWN of BONE!
Yeees...
KING used DAGGER THROW!
LEE burst through DOOR!
FENRIR is in critical condition!
JOE is in critical condition!
aagh...
JOE bled! See JOE bleed! Bleed, JOE, bleed!
KING: LEE! What are you doing?!
LEE: KING! This black-hearted villain has betrayed us!
FENRIR: No!
FENRIR: Narrator...
Ah, right! Of course! FENRIR was SUPERCHARGED! There, that's all the REALITY WARP I can MUSTER without any SHARDS...!
KING: LEE! Protect me!
... aahgrr..n...
JOE weakly sent out farthest!
FENRIR stood up and used DEATH WREATHE!
Critical hit!
LEE doubled over in PAIN!
farthest used HYPER HEADBASH!
KING: Oh dear-
KING fainted!
FENRIR: HRARRRHHH...
FENRIR stalked towards LEE!
LEE: Yooou won't get away with this, you horror....
FENRIR picked up LEE by the NECK!
FENRIR threw LEE out of the THRONEROOM!
LEE is fully paralyzed!
FENRIR rushed over to JOE!
.. justice.... is served....
FENRIR frowned!
FENRIR plucked DAGGER from JOE'S SIDE!
FENRIR: !heceueoeneU
FENRIR cast MAGIC!
JOE is in good condition!
Ahhh... thank you again, Fenrir..
FENRIR: Of course, my.. king.
JOE looked at CROWN of BONE!
GUARD RESERVES appeared!
JOE grinned!
From horizon... to horizon... to horizon... to.. horizon.
Checkmate, you little pawns.
JOE activated CROWN of BONE!
KING was renamed LORD BORED!
JOE was renamed KING!
GUARD: Dude! I told you the WWF would just be a rerun but noooo, you just had to check despite the emergency alert...
GUARD: It was an honest mistake!
Silence.
GUARD RESERVES... saluted!
It's about time this mess of a dominion gets its act together.
I have big plans for it...