Player: Link [Record: 2-3-0 win vs. Garet/Fusion Dragon #30]
Location: Some place.
PORTAL appeared!
LINK came from the PORTAL
PORTAL closed!
I can't believe I've come back to life!
WEBMASTER can't either!
HE never THOUGHT of let you COME BACK to LIFE!
THAT could change the STORYLINE!
Interesting...
SARA appeared!
Hmmm... hi?
SARA is surprised!
It thought you died!
It?
Is clearly a "she"
Also, narrator, half the time you say "he" or "she", like a few lines ago, and half the time you say "it" . Why?
LINK is confused!
No!
It hurt itself on its confusion!
See what I mean?
NARRATOR used SEE!
But, it failed!
Ha. Ha. Ha.
SARA thinks you're fake!
SARA wants to fight!
Narrator, your plots suck. No wonder why you have a BQ of 2.
NARRATOR doesn't makes PLOTS!
WEBMASTER does!
Whatever..
I will try this Pokemon I caught on the Land of the Dead...
Go, Pokeball!
Go! CLEFAIRY!
Enemy SARA says that's her CLEFAIRY!
CLEFAIRY joined SARA!
Enemy SARA retreats SARA!
Enemy SARA send out CLEFAIRY!
Now you said her. I have a point!
And by the way, that battle is dumb.
LINK has a point..
in his sword!
????
Oh well, go, light arrow!
Go! LIGHT ARROW!
Use your.. humm. "light" attack.
LIGHT ARROW used LIGHT!
Choose your own NARRATOR JOKE!
A: LIGHT ARROW is LIGHT!
It floats away!
B: LIGHT ARROW shoots LIGHT!
Everyone gets BLINDED!
C: LIGHT ARROW gets LIGHT!
LIGHT ARROW was renamed FIRE ARROW!
None of those...
Then ALL of THEM!
LIGHT ARROW shoots LIGHT, is LIGHT and gets LIGHT!
Everyone gets BLINDED while LIGHT ARROW floats away and is renamed FIRE ARROW!
Is super confusing!
My eyes...!
Pokeball, catch the arrow!
LINK used POKÉBALL!
FIRE ARROW was caught!
Finally I can see..
Go! Fire Arrow!!
Go! FIRE ARROW!
Enemy CLEFAIRY used METRONOME!
Enemy CLEFAIRY used WATER GUN!
Is super effective!
What? FIRE ARROW is devolving!
FIRE ARROW devolved into ARROW!
Figures..
Arrow, use... hit attack?
ARROW used HIT!
But, it failed!
ARROW kept going and crashed...
into SARA!
No effect!
Huh-oh...
Enemy SARA is MAD!
Enemy SARA used GYARIC HO!
ARROW vaporized!
ARROW fainted!
What.. just fainted? Strange.
Let's go!
...
Well.. go me?
Go! LINK!
Enemy SARA retreats CLEFAIRY!
Enemy SARA send out SARA!
I will use Stab!
LINK used STAB!
Minimal effect!
No....
Enemy SARA used DESTRUCTOR DISK!
But, it failed!
DESTRUCTOR DISK kept going and crashed...
into MOUNTAIN!
MOUNTAIN was cut in half!
That's too much! I must leave!
Can't escape!
Deku Nut, go!
LINK used DEKU NUT!
Enemy SARA can't see!
LINK ran away!
Wood Battle #32: Life is Dream September 18, 2002
Player: Garet [Record: 3-3-0 Win vs. Fusion Dragon, #30]
Location: Forest of Return
GARET appeared!
..but isn't GARET DEAD?
Yeah. Check the LotD
Location: Land of the Dead
GARET is fast asleep!
Location: Forest of Return
.. so I'm here. I'm a projection of my dream.
That's the most UNUSUAL thing NARRATOR has SEEN so far!
Well, we're in Pokebattles...
I am a character from a videogame, I am a figment of Webmaster mind, you're just a loud, booming voice...
There is quite a lot of unusual things in this world.. so yeah.
GARET used LOGIC!
No effect!
Yeah, that tends to happen :(
SOUNDS of MOVING a body appeared!
CHAIN MAN WITH WRAPPED IN CHAINS POKEKILLER appeared!
CHAIN MAN WITH WRAPPED IN CHAINS POKEKILLER was renamed CHAIN MAN!
CHAIN MAN: That body does weight indeed a lot.
Oh, it was Chain Man. Whatever. I going to try my powers!
GARET used FLOAT!
GARET is FLOATING!
GARET used LIFT!
ROCKS were LIFTED!
This is my power. Impressive, eh?
NARRATOR says ITS power is BETTER!
CHAIN MAN noticed GARET!
CHAIN MAN is confused!
It hurt itself on its confusion!
Confusion is annoying..
CHAIN MAN wants to fight!
CHAIN MAN send out CHAIN MAN!
Go! GARET!
I will try the Heat Wave!
GARET used HEAT WAVE!
It causes some damage!
Enemy CHAIN MAN used CHAIN KICK!
CHAIN KICK travessed GARET's BODY!
No effect!
CHAIN MAN: Huh?
Heh, I'm just air. Nothing can hurt me.
GARET used INFERNO!
Critical hit!
CHAIN MAN's LIFE FORCE is running out!
CHAIN MAN: I do? Oh well.. take this!
CHAIN MAN threw POKEKILLER to GARET!
No effect!
POKEKILLER kept going and crashed..
into BUSH!
GEORGE W. BUSH ran away!
Weirdest.Battle.Ever
POKEKILLER joined CHAIN MAN!
Enemy CHAIN MAN used CHAIN PUNCH!
Enemy POKEKILLER used KILLER KNEE!
No effect!
That's it. Let's finish the job..
GARET used-
Location: Land of the Dead
BIN LADEN: Woke up, Garet!
GARET woke up!
BIN LADEN: Is the hour of dance the BOMB DANCE!!!
I was about to beat two of the most powerful Wood Version Characters and you WOKE ME UP?
GARET used HEAT WAVE!
BIN LADEN was blown away!
TIE was ADDED!
Post Feedback
Check the second tournament...
Wood Battle #33: Regetting September 20, 2002
Player: James [Record: 2-0-1 Win vs. Misty, battle #25] His text color
Player2: Karen [Record: 2-0-1 Win vs. Misty, battle #25] Her text color
Location: Bill's house.
Again two players?
Author tries to be original. Ignore him.
BILL: I've said it once, and I repeat it: I don't have a garden!
How it then Juanximo and Pokekiller are located there?
Wait, let's check the PC... maybe he has some hints. Or, at least, pr0n.
JAMES is being a PERVERT! Again!
No.. I was joking.
Let's check the PC, anyways...
JAMES checked the PC!
Is all shiny and new!
KAREN touched a button!
SECRET DOOR opened!
Entrance to BILL'S SECRET GARDEN appeared!
See how you had a garden?
Location: Bill's Secret Garden
Ok, let's search those two!
JAMES and KAREN used SEARCH!
But, it failed!
No good.
JUANXIMO appeared!
JUANXIMO wants to fight!
Hey.. where's that dude that is going always with you?
POKEKILLER appeared!
POKEKILLER wants to fight!
Okay...
I choose you, Houndoom!
Go, Weezing!
Go! WEEZING!
Go! HOUNDOOM!
Enemy JUANXIMO send out VILEPLUME!
Enemy POKEKILLER send out VICTREBEEL!
VICTREBEEL joined JAMES!
VILEPLUME joined KAREN!
Way to go!
Now let's terminate this!
WEEZING used SLUDGE BOMB!
POKEKILLER fainted!
Enemy JUANXIMO used POKEBALL!
POKEBALL floats towards TOGEPI...
TOGEPI was caught!
JUANXIMO: Ha! I've got it! Now I don't need you anymore, sucka! Bye!
JUANXIMO leaves!
Poor Pokekiller guy..
But Juanximo caught Togepi! Aren't you going to do something?
Nah, we will get him later. Now let's revive Poke-guy!
I'm getting your idea...
JAMES used REVIVE!
POKEKILLER was revived!
Hey, would you like join us?
POKEKILLER wants to know why should he join us!
Your old ally left you..
POKEKILLER says that's right!
POKEKILLER joined you!
I wonder what's Juanximo doing now...
Location: Daniel's Castle Ruins.
JUANXIMO: Now I have the evil one, Togepi.. with that and the blueprints I stole that spy-guy, I can now create.. the Doompuff! MWAHAHAHA!
NARRATOR says that TOGEPI is not related to DOOMPUFF!
NARRATOR also says that DOOMPUFF SUCKS!
NARRATOR finally says that DOOMPUFF is UNORIGINAL!
JUANXIMO: But powerful.
NARRATOR expects the LOW RATINGS!
Check the 4 rare battles, k?
Wood Battle #34: (Insert here a good title) September 23, 2002
Player: Spaz [Record: 1-2-0 Win vs. Pokekiller, battle #15]
Location: Forest of return
I have the worse battle title here, and I haven't been in 19 battles.. WHY ME?
NARRATOR says it could be worse!
You COULD HAVE a title CALLED "Default Title"!
Also, you're turning in a MAIN character!
Not EVERYONE can say THAT!
That! Ha, I just did!
That PUN is ever worse that NARRATOR'S
I know.
SOMETHING is approaching...
Hmm?
SOMETHING was renamed NERRA-METAL!
Hey. I want to be renamed!
SPAZ was renamed !
No, I want to be renamed Vincent!
! was renamed VINCENT!
Player: Vincent [Record: 1-2-0]
Thanks!
No problem!
STADIUM appeared!
STADIUM: I want to be renamed...
WAIT a second!
Wood Battle #34: Renaming owns you! September 23, 2002
Now, STADIUM..?
Interesting battle title.
STADIUM: Rename me Jesus
JESUS CHRIST?
STADIUM: No.. just Jesus, or else I wll kill you
STADIUM was renamed JESUS, OR ELSE I WILL KILL YOU!
JESUS, OEIWKY: No, just "Jesus"
JESUS, OEIWKY was renamed JESUS!
JESUS: Better
NERRA-METAL wants to fight!
Go Hitmonlee!
Go! HITMONLEE!
You are very annoying.
JESUS allied with you!
Ally JESUS send out SCYTHER!
Hi Jump Kick!
HITMONLEE used HI JUMP KICK!
Is super effective!
SCYTHER used SLASH!
Is not very effective..
Hey, Red Text Guy...
NARRATOR?
Yeah. Why that title?
NARRATOR was renamed RED TEXT GUY!
That's the REASON!
Altough RED TEXT GUY's NEW NAME will only last THIS battle!
Oh.
Enemy NERRA-METAL used REALLY BIG MISSILE!
Critical hit!
VINCENT is about to faint!
Ally JESUS is about to faint!
RAARR!!! He shooted US the missile!
Enemy NERRA-METAL used POKÉBALL!
Ally JESUS was caught!
Huh?
Enemy NERRA-METAL used POKEBALL!
You were caught!
NERRA-METAL: Time-for-my-conquest!
Wood Battle #35: Chain Man's rivale September 23, 2002
Player: Chain Man [Record: 6-2-1 Loss vs. Jesus, T#2]
Location: Forest of Return
Ok, here I am
Now, I hope he soon does appears.
What?
Some guy send me an e-mail..
YOU have an E-MAIL direction?
Of course, Chainman@woodversion.com
ok, as I was saying the guy wanted see me...
Yeah...
And that's the place we chosed to meet...
UNOWN MAN appeared!
Uno.... HEY! I'M THE ONLY "MAN" AROUND HERE!
Unown.. the Pokémon?
UNOWN MAN: Right
I finally found you, Chain Man...
I AM the only MAN.. you can't steal it!
UNOWN MAN wants to fight!
UNOWN MAN send out UNOWN X!
Ok.. go chain!
Go! CHAIN!
Enemy RED X floats as a SHURIKEN!
CHAIN used CHAIN SWING!
It's a HOME RUN!!!!!!!!!
Narration is dumber than usual...
UNOWN X fainted!
Enemy UNOWN MAN send out UNOWN I!
Enemy UNOWN I hits CHAIN!
CHAIN fainted!
Go me!
Go! CHAIN MAN!
Enemy UNOWN I used SWING!
Oww...
CHAIN MAN fainted!
UNOWN MAN: Now I will catch you, misserable clone.
OAK: UNOWN MAN! That's not the time for use that!
UNOWN MAN curses!
Ha, you can't catch fainted people!
Don't talk!
Why?
You're FAINTED!
TALK destroys the effect!
Battle ended!
But-
ENDED!
Next battles
