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Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Cheaters have been trying to catch Pokégods ever since the game was released.
This battle is only the second ever to be set in the game world. It is a unique battle that pits a trainer and her Mew against a whole slew of Pokégods. But do Pokégods even exist? Something seems fishy about them... One interesting thing this author did was to refer to Mew as a 'she'. Traditionally, Pokémon are treated as 'it'.
Battle #21: The Attack of the Fake Pokégods
October 13, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Amanda [No Record]
Written by RainbowEevee@aol.com New Author
Readers' Choice: Award Winning Battle
Webmaster's Choice: Award Winning Battle
I'm bored. I've got all 151 Pokémon and no more trainers to battle.
Mew, where should we go?
MEW says she'll fly you to Pokégod Island
They're probably all missing no. Mew.
MEW says maybe
Ok, take me there
MEW flew AMANDA to the island
Wild CHARCOLT appeared!
Charcolt? What kinda name is that?
CHARCOLT is angry!
Go Charizard!
Go CHARIZARD!
I just said that! Oh well.
CHARIZARD used FIRE BLAST on CHARCOLT!
CHARCOLT is angry!
CHARCOLT used IMBIGGERTHANYOU!
It's super effective!!!
Oh... Charizard return! Go Venusaur!
VENUSAUR used URANIDIOT!
Huh?
It's super effective!
Ok...
CHARCOLT was transferred to MAC!
Oh no! My PC has de-evolved!
Wild RAINER PEARDUCK SPOOKY PIKABLU LOCUSTOD RAIDON FLARETH HOUOU BURU
NOTHYPE PSYBUR PSYBIRD SAPUSAUR BEEPIN DODGEO POKENINE RATICLAW BOLTORB
appeared!
That's 18 Pokémon! Ummmm... no.
There's no running from a pokégod battle!
??? Oh well. Go! 12 pokémon!
AMANDA sent out MEW CHARIZARD VENUSAUR BLASTOISE GOLEM HITMONCHAN EEVEE
VAPOREON JOLTEON FLAREON JYNX and PINSIR!
Use your Intimidate attack!
The 12 Pokémon used INTIMIDATE!
They grew bigger!
The 18 pokégods are scared!
They were so scared, they shed their skin!
Mew! I told you they were Missingnos!!!
MEW says she said they might be!
MISSINGNOs are angry! MISSINGNOs headed toward the MEW!
MEW got out a pin and poked them all with it!
The MISSINGNOs deflated and were transferred to MAC!
MEW starts to sing!
AMANDA used DUCT-TAPE on MEW because MEW won't shut up!
Well, that's the end of a boring day.
A brave student rebels against the local bully.
This battle just barely meets the minimum length, checking in with 21 lines. So of course it's extremely short, but it's an interesting battle anyway. It features a school confrontation between a certain "Joel Hudson" and a bully. The match becomes a Pokémon-type brawl that ends rather quickly.
Battle #22: Campus Battlefield October 13, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Joel Hudson [No Record]
Written by Hudson New Author
I HATE HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL! WHY DO I HAVE TO?!?
BULLY APPEARS!
Bully: Okay, Punk! Give me your money!
Not on your life!
Bully wants to fight!
Oh, great
Bully sends out bully!
Go Joel!
Out comes Joel!
Bully uses intimidation!
It missed!
Time to use my BORE-TO-DEATH attack!
Bully goes to sleep
Now I'll use my RAZOR-GLASSES attack!
It's super effective!
Bully fainted!
Bully: You may think you're tough, but I will return!
Bully runs away like a little girl
Look! A Really Cool Bike
Joel remembers that he only has a dinky bike
SHUT UP!
General Solomon rebels against the oppressive NOD leader, Kane.
It is time to command the future, Pokémon-style! Veteran author suic@ihug.co.nz brings us his fourth battle, in which Kane from NOD must battle with General Solomon from GDI. This battle will make a whole lot more sense if you actually have the game Tiberian Sun, but the battle still does well on its own. Don't miss this one.
Battle #23: Tiberian Sun War October 20, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Kane, the leader of NOD [No Record]
Written by suic@ihug.co.nz Author of The Day Team Rocket Won (Battle #19); Computer Showdown (Battle #15); Tech War (Battle #13)
Ah, what a good day it is to take over the world and do some more Tiberium experiments.
General James Solomon, leader of GDI appeared!
I can finally seek revenge.
General James Solomon wants to fight!
General James Solomon sent out Ion Cannon Uplink!
So he's going to Ion Cannon me.
I'll just send out my one and only Stealth Tank.
Go! Stealth Tank!
I hate this stupid narration!
Enemy Ion Cannon used Ion Cannon!
It doesn't effect Stealth Tank!
Good thing the war factory that made the Stealth Tank made it invisible.
Stealth Tank used Shoot!
It's super effective!
General Solomon: No!!!!!
General Solomon withdrew Ion Cannon Uplink!
General Solomon sent out Mammoth MK II!
Ahhhh! Their best vehicle.
Stealth Tank used Shoot!
Critical hit!
It's not very effective!
Enemy Mammoth MK II fainted!
Better save my stealth tank.
General Solomon withdrew Mammoth MK II!
General Solomon sent out General Solomon!
He's no match for me.
Kane withdrew Stealth Tank!
Kane sent out Kane!
Enemy General Solomon used Protect the World!
It's not very effective!
Kane used Rule the World!
It's super effective!
One hit KO!
Kane wins!
I finally got my revenge.
Commander Michael McNeil appeared!
Here we go again.
To be continued...
Cheaters like Boba Fett can sometimes be defeated.
This is another battle that's just barely the minimum length. These shorter battles always seem to end too quickly - it's difficult to do a good battle idea justice in just 20 lines. Still, the author did well enough with this battle, which is Star Wars related (No surprise there - did I mention the new name of this section is Star Wars Version Battles?) Ash Ketchum fights Boba Fett in this battle. It brings an interesting image to mind, that's for sure.
Battle #24: Ash Ketchum vs. Boba Fett
October 20, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Ash Ketchum [No Record]
Written by gannon2000@hotbot.com New Author
BOBA FETT WANTS TO FIGHT!
Okay this guy looks like he knows squat about Pokémon
BOBA FETT CHOSE RAICHU!
In that case, I chose Pidgeotto!
RAICHU USED THUNDER BOLT!
THUNDER BOLT MISSED!
Pidgeotto, Gust Attack!
ZAP!
BOBA FETT SHOT PIDGEOTO!
BOBA FETT LAUGHS UNCONTROLLABLY!
I'll show you! Go! Charmeleon!
RAICHU USED THUNDER SHOCK!
RAICHU MISSED!
Hah! Charmeleon, Ember!
ZAP!
BOBA FETT SHOT CHARMELEON!
WHAT? RAICHU IS ANGRY!
RAICHU USED THUNDER SHOCK ON BOBA FETT!
Huh?!
ASH DEFEATED BOBA FETT!
Stubborn food sometimes rebels against those who would eat it.
With the exception of Battle #17, there really hasn't been a Poké Battle that used food to the extent that this battle does. Returning author RainbowEevee@aol.com brings us a battle in which a trainer must combat her own lunch. This battle is likely to give you a whole new perspective on food in general. Mmm... Poké Food...
Battle #25: The Attack of the Cheese!
October 27, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Amanda [Record: 1-0-0] Last battle: Win vs. MissingNo (Battle #21)
Written by RainbowEevee@aol.com
Author of Battle #21: Attack of the Fake Pokégods (Dual Award Winner)
I'm hungry. I'll make some Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup.
AMANDA will eat Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup!
AMANDA took out the CHEESE, BREAD, 2 PANS, and a can of SOUP!
What's with the voices?
AMANDA set the Cheese in between the 2 pieces of BREAD!
CHEESE doesn't want to die!
Huh?
CHEESE is angry! CHEESE attacked!
Cheese has never attacked me before... hmmmm... Go! Mold!
AMANDA sent out MOLD!
Mold, use your Mold attack!
MOLD used MOLD!
It's super effective!
CHEESE is MOLDY!
Yay! I won!
CHEESE fell on BREAD!
BREAD is angry! BREAD wants to fight!
Why does the bread want to fight?
BREAD doesn't like to be eaten with Moldy CHEESE!
Ok, then. Mold, use Mold!
MOLD made bread MOLDY!
BREAD fell into garbage with CHEESE!
Yay! Ok. I'll make Soup only then.
AMANDA poured soup into PAN!
SOUP is angry!
Why are you angry, now?
SOUP doesn't want to be eaten!
Oh. Mold, return! Go, Cloud!
AMANDA sent out CLOUD!
Cloud, evaporate the Soup!
CLOUD used evaporate on SOUP!
SOUP dried up!
I won again. I'm still hungry. Hmmmmm... I'll eat this Beef Jerky.
BEEF JERKY wants to fight!
Not again!
To be continued…
>> Next Five Battles
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