Blue Version Poké Battles #56-60: Ominous Creations
Archived 3.29.2000 

Ominous Creations
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue

Professor Ominis is a very ominous professor.
This battle features an interesting new trainer called Professor Ominis. As is the case with many battles, the narration begins to irritate him. Ominis eventually turns the tables and ends up annoying the narration as well. The narrator in this battle becomes quite human for a time. Also, I believe this battle is parodying several things… but I am not sure exactly what (though I did recognize the Warcraft II reference). The author has informed me that he purposely misspelled the word 'resurrect' … I'm not entirely sure why, but that apparently is part of the parody.
Battle #56: The Ominous Professor  February 9, 2000
Setting: Game 10% / Reality 90% / Anime 0%
Player: Professor Ominis  [No Record]
Written by Zapdos534@aol.com  New Author

PROF. OMINIS wants to take over the World!
Yes, I do, but don't tell anyone!
TIPPY found out!
Does he care?
TIPPY is a SHE, and YES!
Will she go away if I give her an American Express Card?
Are you kidding!  Nobody takes those!
That's why I offered it first.  How about Visa?
TIPPY cannot be bribed with MONEY!
What CAN I bribe her with?
CHEESEPUFFS!
Darn!  All out!
TIPPY used PYROMANIAC!
OMINIS'S HOUSE exploded!
You are dead now!
No, I'm not!
You are dead now!
No, I'm not!
You are dead now!
No, I'm not!
You are dead now!
No, I'm not!
What are you!? Some kind of tough-guy!?
Yes, I am!
Join the army they said!
Army? What Army?
See the world they said!
I've only been to two countries!
I would rather be sailing!
!?
Maybe if you click enough, you'll ressurect!
Click what?
Maybe if you click enough, you'll ressurect!
Click what?
I do not think this is working!!!
Of course not!  I can't understand what you're trying to tell me!
What! PROF. OMINIS is evolving!
So I'm not dead?
PROF. OMINIS evolved into SNAKENSTEIN!
?!?!??!?!?!?!?!???!!?!!?!!?!?!?
SNAKENSTEIN learned BINDING GRASP!
Now I'll get my revenge on that meddling puppy... And her little
friendsssssss too!
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Coming Soon!  The Second Death of SNAKENSTEIN!
Shut up you sssssssstupid Ominousssssss Voiccccce!
SNAKENSTEIN used BINDING GRASP on OMINOUS VOICE!
OMINOUS VOICE is now slave of SNAKENSTEIN!
Good! Now annoy TIPPY and thossssssse friendsssssss of herssssss!
Yes, master!
To be continued...

The good rod was created in order to avoid the horrid Magikarp.
Two-time award-winning author SuperDuperYoshi@aol.com brings us a battle that lives up to his reputation. The title certainly fits the battle, as the Popcorn Man's attempt to catch a new Pokémon becomes the fight for his life against an angry Magikarp. Add to that some celebrity appearances by Da Evolution Man, Joe, Yoshi, and Leonardo DiCaprio, and you've got yourself one heck of a crazy battle.
Battle #57: One Heck of a Crazy Battle 
February 16, 2000
Setting: Game 30% / Reality 70% / Anime 0%
Player: Popcorn Man  [Record: 4-0-0]  Last Battle: Win vs. James (Battle #40)
Written by SuperDuperYoshi@aol.com
Readers' Choice: Award Winning Battle
Webmaster's Choice: Award Winning Battle
Author of Battle #8: Austin Powers Strikes Back (Webmaster's Choice Award Winning Battle) 
Author of Darkluke's REALLY Miserable Fate (Battle #9)
Author of Battle #40: Pokémon Master Disaster!  (Readers' Choice Award Winning Battle)

Ah, what a great day to go fishing.
POPCORN MAN used Good rod!
The hooked MAGIKARP attacked!
Huh? I DON'T WANT A MAGIKARP!!! I USED THE GOOD ROD!!!!!
MAGIKARP wants to fight!
The MAGIKARP wants to fight?
MAGIKARP sent out MAGIKARP!
This should be amusing.
GO! INSPECTOR GADGET!
I just looove this guy!
MAGIKARP used MAGIC!
MAGIKARP is MAGICAL!
Who cares? Gadget, use your extendible arm attack!
MAGIKARP's attack continues!
MAGIKARP became more MAGICAL!
Fine, then! Gadget, use.....
MAGIKARP reached FULL MAGIC power!
MAGIKARP turned INSPECTOR GADGET into FROG!
ARRGH!!!! Not GADGET!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
FROG! RETURN!
I'll use my newest Pokémon....
GET'M! YOSHI!
Say goodbye, Magikarp!
MAGIKARP used PUN!
MAGIKARP said "Goodbye, MAGIKARP!"
Yoshi, Egg bomb!
YOSHI is loafing around!
YOSHI used EAT!
MAGIKARP was EATEN!
Hey, I wanted to catch it! Oh, well.
YOSHI is still hungry!
Umm....That's nice, Yoshi.
YOSHI used EAT!
POPCORN MAN was EATEN!
POPCORN MAN used TELEPORT!
Got away safely!
Whew, that was close.
YOSHI used EAT!
WATERVILLAN was EATEN!
STOP EATING, YOSHI!
YOSHI used EAT!
LUMBER was EATEN!
Hey, isn't that the Tree I beat before?
YOSHI used EAT!
PEWTER CITY was EATEN!
WHAT?!?! The whole city?
.....
That must be why I'm falling.
POPCORN MAN is FALLING!
Hey, I got an idea!
YOSHI used BARF!
MAGIKARP was BARFED up!
Okay, now for step two.
POPCORN MAN used WATER STONE on MAGIKARP!
What? MAGIKARP is evolving!
MAGIKARP evolved into GYARADOS!
Yes! Gyarados is a water and FLYING type, so....
GYARADOS used FLY!
Whew! I'm saved!
GYARADOS used EAT!
GYARADOS ATE himself!
AHHH! Not again!
POPCORN MAN IS FALLING!
POPCORN MAN FELL into CAR!
That was close!
Joe: Give me my car back!
Da Evolution Man: I'm tired of this! I'M the only MAN around here!
Yoshi: I'm still hungry!
JOE wants to fight!
DA EVOLUTION MAN wants to fight!
YOSHI wants to fight!
SOMEONE END THIS BATTLE!!!!!
LEONARDO DICAPRIO used DRAMATIC ENDING!
Actually, that wasn't that dramatic.
CREDITS are ROLLING!
What credits?
THOSE CREDITS!
AHHHH!!! IT'S GONNA FLATTEN US!!!!
JOE fainted!
DA EVOLUTION MAN fainted!
YOSHI fainted!
POPCORN MAN fainted. Use next Pokémon?

The creation of a walking snake was a very ominous sign of things to come.
For the second week in a row, the new author Zapdos532@aol.com has brought us this week's Primary battle. This battle continues where the last one left off, with Snakenstein attacking his rival Tippy. I must admit that the fifth line of the battle caught me completely off-guard.
Battle #58: Snake  February 16, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: Tippy  [Record: 1-0-0]  Last Battle: Win vs. Professor Ominis (Battle #56)
Written by Zapdos534@aol.com  Author of The Ominous Professor (Battle #56)

WALKING SNAKE appeared!
Number One: No snakes here.
Number Two: Snakes don't have... "there" enough legs to be able to walk.
TIPPY is confused!
She killed herself in her confusion!
TIPPY died!
Shut up!  I didn't die!
BINDING GRASP is weakening!
BINDING GRASP lost effect!
I AM FREE AGAIN!!!!!!!
I lied about TIPPY Dying!
Good!
WALKING SNAKE appeared!
Looks like one of those Lizard Mans in that Soul Caliber game, except for the longer neck.
WALKING SNAKE wants to fight!
Let's get it on!
WALKING SNAKE sent out WALKING SNAKE!
Since you're sending yourself out, I might as well too.
Go!  TIPPY!
Transform into TIPPY WITH HAMMER!
TIPPY used TRANSFORM!
TIPPY transformed into TIPPY WITH HAMMER!
POUND! Now!
Now?
Now!
TIPPY used POUND!
WALKING SNAKE used SLEEP VENOM!
TIPPY fell asleep!
TIPPY is sleeping!
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
TIPPY was caught!
Zzzzzz...
TIPPY was given to SNAKENSTEIN!
TIPPY woke up!
Huh?  Where am I?
SNAKENSTEIN LAIR!
SNAKENSTEIN, huh? Any relation to Ben Stein?
NO!
Sorry!  Sorry!
Why did you bring me here?
Because SNAKENSTEIN is really PROF. OMINIS!
The megalomaniac scientist that used genetic engineering to turn me from an everyday standard-issue puppy dog into the metamorphic, talking, bipedal canine wonder you see before you?  That I blew the house of up just by activating one of his inventions?
YES!
Die!
SNAKENSTEIN wants to fight!
To be continued...


Any meeting with Bob in the middle of the night is sure to be ominous.
This battle was written by a new author, but this person is not unfamiliar to Poké Battles. This was written by the same Mystery03 who went on to compete in the final match against Wakuseino in the third Green Version session just a few days ago. He lost that battle, but now he has a new challenge in a new version. Can Mystery defeat his favorite trainer Bob "That Guy" Smith? Those of you who read the Green Version battles will recognize Lickitung's French kiss attack.
Battle #59: Mysterious Meeting  February 23, 2000
Setting: Game 80% / Reality 20% / Anime 0%
Player: Mystery03 [No Record] 
Written by vrod@usa.net  New Author

Mystery03 is walking down the streets at night.
Doopy-doopy do…
Bob "that guy" Smith appeared!
Bob? THE Bob from pokebattles? You're my favorite character!
Bob wants to fight!
All right, Bobby Boy! But just 'cause you're my favorite character doesn't mean I'll go easy on you! Go Lickitung!
Bob sent out Clefairy!
Lickitung! Use your French Kiss attack!
Lickitung used French kiss attack… on Mystery03!
Not…on...me…!
Mystery03 is paralyzed! It may not attack!
Bob laughs!
Clefairy used metronome!
Clefairy used Yawn.
It's super effective!
Lickitung fainted!
Go Myst! Use your Watery Eyes attack!
Enemy Clefairy's eyes are watering.
Enemy Clefairy fainted!
What's next Bobby?
Bobby…er…Bob sent out Bob!
Fine then! Myst, return! Go out…me!
Mystery03 used Mystery03!
Enemy Bob used Tapdance!
Enemy Bob is tap-dancing!
What the heck is that supposed to do?
Enemy Bob says he's getting plenty of exercise!
Whatever. Sorry to do this, Bob, but like I said before, I'm not going easy on you!
Mystery03 spit a loogie at Bob!
Enemy Bob is angry!
Enemy Bob used rage!
Owww! Fine then, no mercy!
Mystery03 used Mega Punch!
Enemy Bob evaded attack!
Mystery03 kept going and crashed…into steel wall!
Ouch! Somebody call me an ambulance! My head is pounding!
Bob used rage!
Mystery03 fainted!
Bob… I just want to tell you… even though you beat me… you're still my… favorite pokebattles character!


The creation of a Seizure Image has helped Star Ellimist's cause.
Apparently, the new quality control standards for Primary battles are too harsh, because this week there was no Primary battle scheduled for publication! So this battle was upgraded to Primary to fill in for this week. Anyway, returning author tabby33@home.com continues the saga of Star Ellimist, who in this battle must fight against Professor Oak.
Battle #60: Pokémon Soldier Battle! 
February 23, 2000
Setting: Game 50% / Reality 50% / Anime 0%
Player: Star Ellimist  [Record: 1-1-0]  Last Battle: Loss vs. Missing No. (Tournament #3)
Written by tabby33@home.com 
Author of Another Seizure Incident?!? (Battle #20)


OAK wants to fight!
*sighs*
OAK sent out CHARIZARD!
Wartormyuu!  GO!
Enemy CHARIZARD used SLASH!
It's not very effective...
HYDRO PUMP TO THE MAX!
WARTORMYUU used HYDRO PUMP TO THE MAX!
Enemy CHARIZARD fainted!
OAK sent out OAK!
MYUUCHU!
See? I'll win!
Enemy OAK  used BABBLE!
MYUUCHU fainted!
Use next Pokémon?
ME!
GO!
Enemy OAK used BOOKTHROW
No effect!
SLASH!
STARELLIMIST used SLASH!
No effect!
...
Ten minutes later...
Must... run... out of... PP...
Enemy OAK used FAINT!
No effect!
Maybe I should use...
STARELLIMIST sent out SEIZUREIMAGE!
I'll use the Sunglasses item!
STARELLIMIST put on SUNGLASSES!
Enemy OAK used BABBLE!
SEIZUREIMAGE doesn't have ears!
Seizureimage, use your seizureimage attack!
SEIZUREIMAGE used SEIZUREIMAGE!
Yeah!
Enemy OAK fainted!
HAH! TAKE THAT!
SEIZUREIMAGE gained 3000 exp. points!
SEIZUREIMAGE grew to level 38!
What? SEIZUREIMAGE is evolving!
duh duh... SEIZUREIMAGE evolved into ESOLDIERPORY!
Electric Soldier Porygon? I get it.
ESOLDIERPORY learned POLYGON!
OKAY!
...
WARDEN wants to fight!
WHAT?!?

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