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{6-10}
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In these battles, The Floor made its official debut and
proceeded to be the center of three more battles in this archive. Be sure to
check out the hilarious adventures of the Cashier as well.
Battle #6:
Clean the Floor! April 7, 2000
Setting: Game 5% / Reality 95% / Anime 0%
Player: The
Floor [0-2-0]
HOUSEKEEPER appeared!
Oh no! A human!
FLOOR is fully panicked!
HOUSEKEEPER sent out BROOM!
BROOM used MOP!
BROOM is MOPPING!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
You are not in a Pokéball! Don't press A rapidly to escape!
I know, you moron!
I am not a moron!
Oh fine, I wouldn't argue with you anyway. I know what happened to
Lance from the Blue Version!
LANCE appeared!
LANCE is angry!
LANCE slipped on the freshly MOPPED FLOOR!
LANCE fainted!
Whew!
HOUSEKEEPER left!
What a relief!
GRANDPA appeared!
GRANDPA: Kids today! Even when dey're all grown up dey still can't
clean the
gosh-darnit floor! In my day...
Be quiet, gramps!
GRANDPA is insulted!
GRANDPA: Con-flabbed new-fangled floors! The floor company make 'em
talk to ya!
FLOOR is enraged!
Grrrr!!
GRANDPA sent out CANESTICK!
Go! FLOOR!
GRANDPA used WHACK!
Owch!
I quit! I'm not being your floor anymore, Gramps! I'll go to
someone else's house!
Sheesh! First the Exterminator threw me out, then Mrs. Smith, now
Gramps!
FLOOR ran-
No I didn't!
-to Da Evolution Man's house!
Oh, OK. I'll be his floor.
I am triumphant!
How come, narrator?
I convinced you to do something!
Hey! Wait...Huh?
FLOOR is confused!
Now he's going to make me hurt myself...
FLOOR braces himself!
SUPREME BEING appeared!
SUPREME BEING II appeared!
WEIRD VOICE appeared!
STUPID VOICE appeared!
NARRATOR re-appeared!
PRETZELS appeared!
FLOOR did NOTH-hurt himse-used ATTA-ate PRETZELS!
HUH??
They all exploded!
Whew...
...
Cool! I win!
...
So this means I'm not a 100% straight loser! Yipee!
I'm back!
Oh no!!
Oh well... I still won! Right?
The battle ended in a draw!
Battle #7:
Killing Chaos April 7, 2000
Setting: Game 10% / Reality 90% / Anime 0%
Player: Da
Evolution Man [1-1-0]
So, are you sure you can fix my floor?
HANDYMAN is sure!
Then go ahead!
HANDYMAN ran!
Hey!
HANDYMAN appeared.
FLOOR appeared!
Oh, there you are. A brand new floor too!
FLOOR: This isn’t a house! It’s an apartment!
You got a problem wid that?
FLOOR is angry!
EVOLUMAN is angry!
HANDYMAN ran!
Coward.
PRETZELS is angry!
FLOOR: Who is that pretzels guy? He was in the last battle too!
PRETZELS is angry!
PRETZELS used KILL!
FLOOR died!
Hey! That was my new floor!
PRETZELS removed MASK!
PRETZELS is really WEEDLE!
Oh no! Bob told me that a cashier in the Red Version had a killing
Weedle!
WEEDLE used KILL!
EVOLUMAN died!
CASHIER wins!
CASHIER: I wasn’t even in the battle and I won! Heck, I’m not even
an Emerald Version character!
WEEDLE is angry!
WEEDLE says it should’ve won that!
WEEDLE used KI-
CASHIER: Ahhh!!
CASHIER ran!
Battle #8: Who
Gets The Floor? April 7, 2000
Setting: Game 10% / Reality 90% / Anime 0%
Player:
Cashier [0-0-1]
Pant… Pant…
WEEDLE caught up
with CASHIER!
Ahh! No, please,
PLEASE! Have mercy!
Hey, wait a sec,
why don’t I just return it?
Weedle, come back.
WEEDLE, return!
That was easier
then I thought it would be!
Now to get an
opposite effect for those killings…
LIFE appeared!
How convenient!
LIFE used LIVE!
EVOLUMAN lived!
FLOOR lived!
LIFE ran!
You know, I need a
floor myself…
FLOOR says YES!
Yes to what?
YES to being your
FLOOR!
Well, if you want
to…
EVOLUMAN is angry!
EVOLUMAN needs
FLOOR too!
FLOOR allied
himself with CASHIER!
EVOLUMAN wants to
fight!
Fine!
Go, Weedle!
Go, WEEDLE!
That’s what I
said!
I said THAT’S WHAT!
Grr!
CASHIER: Grrr!
Stop!
CASHIER: Stop!
CASHIER fainted!
EVOLUMAN wins!
FLOOR ran!
EVOLUMAN is
following in PURSUIT!
Battle #9:
Retirement Crisis April
9, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: Sean
the Exterminator [2-1-0]
No more stupid bug
jobs, ‘cause I’m quitting this job!
I don’t want any
jobs that involve bugs.
What? SEAN is
evolving!
SEAN evolved into
DR. SEAN!
That isn’t such a
bad job…
PATIENT appeared!
PATIENT: Dr. Sean, I
think I have a bug…
AHH!! No!!!
No, I quit!!!
What? DR. SEAN is
evolving!
DR. SEAN evolved
into PROF. SEAN!
This can’t be any
worse…
BOARD OF TRUSTEES
appeared!
BOARD OF TRUSTEES:
The curriculum for your class is dissection of certain arachnid bugs…
Next job!
PROF. SEAN is
evolving!
PROF. SEAN evolved
into DETECTIVE SEAN!
DEPUTY appeared!
DEPUTY: Let’s
listen in on his conversation with this bug!
Not again!!
What? DETECTIVE
SEAN is evolving!
DETECTIVE SEAN
evolved into CAR DEALER SEAN!
CUSTOMER appeared!
CUSTOMER: Hi, I
want one of those new VW Bugs!
Get me outta here!
What? CAR DEALER
SEAN is evolving!
CAR DEALER SEAN
evolved into COMPUTER PROG. SEAN!
BILL GATES
appeared!
BILL GATES: Today
you have to go through the debug process…
Now THIS is a good
job!
COMPUTER PROG. SEAN
is happy!
COMPUTER PROG. SEAN
wins!
Battle #10:
Notorious Luck April
9, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: The
Floor [0-3-1]
I have this question…
Why do I always
lose?
Every battle I’ve been
in, I’ve lost or had a draw!
In some battles, I
wasn’t even the player or the opponent, and I still lost!
VACUUM appeared!
BROOM appeared!
MOP appeared!
Eeek! (Eeek? What
kind of a word is that?)
MOP used MOP!
BROOM used SWEEP!
VACUUM used
SUCK-IN!
Your life force is
running out!
This battle is
pathetic!
WEBMASTER: I only
wrote it to get to the first tournament!
WEBMASTER: Not to
mention so that Jason guy will boost my battle rating! (Hint, hint)
Poppycock! You
probably wrote it to see me pulverized!
WEBMASTER: Well…
That too…
Hmmph! Well I
quit! I’m not going to be in your battles anymore!
WEBMASTER: Think
you’re so tough?
FLOOR fainted!
WEBMASTER wins!