Pokébattles Foxfire

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Battles 106-110.

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...Legitimately something I've wondered a couple times...

Battle 106: Unhappiness Evolution 7/6/2023
Location: Mt. Winter
Player: Hiber [6-2-3] Last Battle: Loss vs. Iron Mask (Fic #2)

LOBER: By your powers combined, I am Lober!
Well... As a creative charm, you're a me-send, but as an actual companion... is that really all you can say?
LOBER: By your powers combined... I am Lober!
... Uhh. Take that as a no, huh...
LOBER: By your powers combined, I am Lober?
Oh, just wondering how you evolve. It's through Happiness, isn't it.
Ever wonder how come there are so many Pokémon that evolve by maxing out happiness and so few that evolve by minimizing it?
... Are there even any that minimize it?... Professor Oak.
OAK: HIBER! Now is not the time to wonder that!
OAK: You have to treat your POKéMON with trust and love!
Too late, I'm wondering it and you can't stop meee--
Fine, if you won't answer, Impostor Professor Oak!
IMPOSTER PROFESSOR OAK was renamed IMPOSTER OAK!
IMPOSTER OAK: HIBER, now is the perfect time to wonder that.
IMPOSTER OAK: Yes, there are, but they're not the kind a kids' POKéDEX would show you, and it has Mewtwo in it so you know we're serious.
IMPOSTER OAK: You have to treat your POKéMON with control and hate!
IMPOSTER OAK: Show it you're the one in charge and make sure it knows it'd amount to nothing without you!
IMPOSTER OAK: ...And stuff it full of bad tasting HERBAL MEDICINE because that's the worst thing you can do to your POKéMON in these games...
Yes, yes, I know how to lower Friendship, but what does it do... What can you evolve that way?
IMPOSTER OAK: All the PHYSICAL TYPE evolutions of EEVEE are associated with low FRIENDSHIP!
... For example.
IMPOSTER OAK: By bringing an EEVEE at low FRIENDSHIP to a VIOLENT ENVIRONMENT, you can get the FIGHTING type evolution, BLUDGEON!
IMPOSTER OAK: Or to a VERY LOUD METAL PLANT, the STEEL type, CLANGEON!
...Well neither of those sound pleasant.
IMPOSTER OAK: That's not all! There are specific ITEMs associated with low FRIENDSHIP evolution as well!
IMPOSTER OAK: For example, with the BRICK PIECE, you can evolve your low FRIENDSHIP EEVEE into...
A Ground-type?
IMPOSTER OAK: No, a GHOST-type.
So how do you get the Ground-type?
IMPOSTER OAK: By having your EEVEE use DIG in UNSTABLE SOIL, it can evolve into a GROUND type!
IMPOSTER OAK: ... or sometimes a GHOST type.
... Uuuh-huh.
Any others of note?
IMPOSTER OAK: By sending out your EEVEE into a SKY BATTLE, you can evolve it into a FLYING type!
IMPOSTER OAK: ...Or sometimes also a GHOST type.
... it sounds like you've just been abusing and murdering Eevees...
IMPOSTER OAK: ...
IMPOSTER OAK: <.<
IMPOSTER OAK: >.>
And let me guess, now you're being haunted by a horde of vengeful Eevee ghosts.
IMPOSTER OAK: Nnnnonsense, whatever could you mean by thaaat...?
IMPOSTER OAK: We do have Ghost-type Eeveelutions for sale though. Half price!
Oh yeah? What's that white hand on your shoulder then?
IMPOSTER OAK: ... Th-th-three quarters off! Heck I'll give them to you free...!
HAUNTEON SWARM: IMPOSTER OAK... IMPOSTER OOOOAK...!
HAUNTEON SWARM wants to...
...Well, 'fight!' isn't really appropriate!
HAUNTEON SWARM wants to DRAG OFF IMPOSTER OAK to an UNKNOWN FATE!
IMPOSTER OAK: ... Webmasters protect me...!
Mmmm... Nah. This seems like a problem you got yourself into, you can get out yourself.
HAUNTEON SWARM used DRAG OFF TO HELL!
... It's modestly effective!
FOXFIRE VERSION is already in HELL!
Therefore, HAUNTEON SWARM just DRAGged IMPOSTER OAK off to PARTS UNKNOWN for an UNKNOWN FATE!
How terrible.
So... Do I win?
IMPOSTER OAK lost!
...But not to HIBER!
Therefore, Battle ended in a draw!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

The more I do this the more I descend into chaos. But this is how Kamina acquired the DeLorean. Back to the Future, Evangelion, Gurren Lagann, Chrono Trigger, and Scooby-Doo are properties of their respective owners.

Battle 107: How Kamina Got The DeLorean 7/13/2023
Time: 1985
Player: Marty McFly [No Record]

Doc! Doc, we got a problem. The DeLorean's gone!
DOC BROWN: Marty! What do you mean! The DeLorean's sitting out in the driveway right now!
Maybe it would be better to say it will be gone.
After you sent me back to the future, we ended up in the year 2015!
But it was kind of ... not the right future.

Time: 2015, some time earlier

DOC: Marty! The rise in sea level and post-apocalyptic state of the world, as well as the anomalous position we arrived in after time traveling, are consistent with an axial shift of 15 degrees as a result of a massive explosion on the Earth's south pole!
That's great, Doc, but I think we have more important things to worry about at the moment!
REI-ADAM-LILITH HYBRID appeared!
...And was instantly renamed RALH!
RALH used APOCALYPSE!
GHOST REI SWARM appeared!
GHOST REI SWARM wants to...
...Fight?
... More like ASSUME THE FORM of your DEEPEST DESIRE to lower your INHIBITIONS, HARVEST your SOUL, and MELT you into TANG!
Doc! Punch it!
DELOREAN used TIMETRAVEL!
DELOREAN ran away!

Time: 1985, present time

But while we were doing that, the weird ghost girl followed us, and we kinda got ... Lost. In time.
And uh... we wound up somewhere weird.

Time: End of Time, earlier

KAMINA: So there I was, dead as a doornail. But of course, a real man never dies, even if he's killed!
KAMINA: Anyway, seven years later, the Great Gurren Team got themselves stuck in a time trap in the Multiverse Labyrinth, so I went and gave them a pep talk to help Simon figure it out.
KAMINA: And then somehow I wound up here.
KAMINA: But if what you say is true and something really bad like that does happen in 1999... Well then I've got no choice but to stop it!
KAMINA: So, with this magic-
Wild DELOREAN appeared!
Wild DELOREAN kept going and crashed!
OLD MAN: Ah, more guests!
Uh... Where are we?

Time: 1985, present time

So we talked with the old man and he told us to chat with his friend.
And his friend tried to teach us magic. Like, real magic. But apparently it didn't work out, or at least, as far as I can tell.
But when we got back--

Time: End of Time, earlier

KAMINA: What is this thing, anyway...
KAMINA used GAS PEDAL!
KAMINA put DELOREAN into GEAR!
KAMINA: Wait, what, whaaat?!
DELOREAN used TIMEWARP!
DELOREAN ran away!
OLD MAN: Well, I hope he finds what he's looking for...

Time: 1985, present time

DOC: That's impossible, Marty! If the DeLorean was taken while you were in the future, how can you wind up here!?
It's not impossible, I saw it all! Anyway, another group of time travellers showed up, and after a while *they* took us home. They got their own time machine. Looked kinda like an egg. They took me back here, but you said he wanted to stay with them and help out. Anyway...
Wild VW VAN appeared!
DOC: Never mind! It's the Libyans, somehow they've found me again, let's go!
DOC ran away!
MARTY ran away!
Wild VW VAN was renamed MYSTERY MACHINE!
SHAGGY: Like, Zoinks! We just came by to ask for some Scooby-Snacks, who did they mistake us for?!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

When in doubt, add more unconnected subplots or do whatever comes to mind. This is 100% the result of shower thoughts.
The Cthulhu Mythos is public domain so I don't need to do a copyright notice. Bwahahaha!

Battle 108: The Call of Chuck 7/20/2023
Setting: H.P. Lovecraft 50% / Game 50%
Player: Cthulhu Cultist Chuck [No Record]

Dread Cthulhu, who sleeps dreaming beneath R'lyeh, may your return be soon!
Swift!
And unimpaired by inconvenient steamboats as the stars align once more!
CCCHUCK used INVOKE CTHULHU!
It's not very effective...
Our dread master Cthulhu shall soon wake, and annihilate the world, and we shall be eaten first!
...
NARRATOR is confused!
It hurt CCCHUCK in its confusion!
... OW.
Wild NECRONOMICON appeared!
That's ...
That's not a wild Necronomicon. That's our copy. We need that for our eldritch rituals!
CCCHUCK had better catch Wild NECRONOMICON then!
Grrr...
I summon you from the dark abyss of space and the hidden places of the Earth! Come to my aid, Star-Spawn of Cthulhu!
Go! STARSPAWN!
Wild NECRONOMICON used NECRO!
Wild NECRONOMICON posted in a DEAD THREAD from SIX YEARS AGO!
DEAD THREAD joined Wild NECRONOMICON!
Enemy DEAD THREAD used WRAP!
Enemy DEAD THREAD was already WRAPped up YEARS AGO and has NO PERTINENT QUESTIONS remaining!
It doesn't affect STARSPAWN!
Great and mighty Star-Spawn, use your dread psychic powers!
STARSPAWN used DREAD PSYCHIC!
STARSPAWN started calling 1-800-PSYCHIC ... but DREADed the outcome and hung up!
... a wise decision, considering past results!
It didn't affect wild NECRONOMICON!
Enemy DEAD THREAD used DEAD!
Enemy DEAD THREAD became DEAD!
Enemy DEAD THREAD died!
Wild NECRONOMICON used NOM!
... please tell me that doesn't mean exactly what I think it means...!
STARSPAWN was fully NOM'd!
Or in other words... STARSPAWN was devoured!
... Oh Dread Cthulhu damn it.
Send out which POKéMON?
Uhh...
Go...
Ritual Knife?..
Go! RITALKNIFE!
... That ... worked. It's just a wicked looking knife, so I don't know how that worked. But that worked.
Knife... use... Slash?
RITALKNIFE used SLASH!
RITALKNIFE carved SLASH FIC in enemy NECRONOMICON's MARGINs!
It's super effective!
That is ... unfortunate.
Enemy NECRONOMICON used ICON!
Enemy NECRONOMICON was REPRESENTED as ICONs!
💀📖
It's not very effective...
Ritual knife, Spine Attack. We can repair it.
RITALKNIFE used SPINE ATTACK!
...
NARRATOR decides to go with the safer option!
Enemy NECRONOMICON was hit with PORCUPINE SPINES! In its SPINE!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
Enemy NECRONOMICON fainted!
CCCHUCK won!
RITALKNIFE gained 254 EXP. Points!
CCCHUCK won!
Hooray...
NARRATOR is disturbed by CCCHUCK's BEHAVIOR!
NARRATOR ran away to get COLD SHOWER and BRAINBLEACH!
See you.
...
So, this is what the dreaded N'rre'tor is like. Curious...
But this means the stars are near right.

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Various world-ending things... David is absolutely a reference to things that happened in a Marvel comic.

Battle 109: Religious Debate 7/20/2023
Setting: H.P. Lovecraft 50% / Game 50%
Player: Cthulhu Cultist Chuck [1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Necronomicon (#108)

Oh joy, you've returned. And what vexations do you intend to drop on me this time?
DOOMPUFF WORSHIPPER DAVID appeared!
DOOMPUFF WORSHIPPER DAVID was renamed DWDAVID!
... Why.
Why is DWDAVID a DOOMPUFF WORSHIPPER?
Well, yes, Cthulhu is obviously the superior eldritch entity to worship, but I meant why he got renamed?
NARRATOR is running on BOOTLEGCARTRIDGE of POKéMON: RED VERSION by MAGIC and ASMHACKING!
HIBER is NOT PROFICIENT at ASMHACKING!
PLAYERNAMEBUFFER is 8 BYTES long!
ENEMYNAMEBUFFER is 12 BYTES long!
Longer NAMEs require POINTER USE and are SLOWER!
What would you do if you encountered a player with a unicode name?
NARRATOR doesn't want to think about it!
Regardless, NARRATOR will let DWDAVID answer OTHER QUESTION!
DWDAVID: ... Well, it all started on my 5th birthday...

Time: David's Fifth Birthday
Player: David (pre-Doompuff)

DAVID'SMOM: Happy birthday!
DAVID'SDAD: Happy birthday!
Ally PRESENT sent out PUPPY!
Awww! It's a doggies!!
PUPPY used LICK!
It's super adorable!
Enemy THANOS appeared!
Enemy THANOS used KICK THE DOG!
Enemy THANOS kicked PUPPY into LOW EARTH ORBIT!
Wait... Wait what!? Waaah--
DAVID used CRY!
Enemy THANOS ran away!

Time: Present
Player: Cthulhu Cultist Chuck

DWDAVID: And so he continued harassing me every birthday after that.
... Okay, well that explains some things. But why Doompuff?
DWDAVID: Well...

Time: War Event #1

THANOS used SNAP!
THANOS snapped UNIVERSE in half!
It doesn't affect DOOMPUFF!
DOOMPUFF snapped THANOS in half!

Time: Present

DWDAVID: And then because he died, he lost all his powers.
DWDAVID: Then he got locked up by the NYPD after we all went to Hell.
DWDAVID: Four billion counts of murder and one count of flying a helicopter without a license.
DWDAVID: So I took his little yellow copter and evolved it into the Doompuffcopter.
DWDAVID: Now I fly it by his cell window every week, and bribe the guards to let me make his birthday hell.
... Interesting. So, are we going to battle, or...?
DWDAVID: ... eh why not.
DWDAVID wants to fight!
Star-Spawn of Cthulhu.
Go! STARSPAWN!
Enemy DWDAVID sent out BIGGLYMUFF!
... I know better than to read that thing's 'dex entry.
Star-Spawn, use Falling Star.
STARSPAWN used FALLING STAR!
TOM CRUISE fell on enemy BIGGLYMUFF!
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF used PEOPLE EATER!
TOM CRUISE was eaten!
...
What--
NARRATOR is unsure whether STARSPAWN counts as PEOPLE!
What an insult. The spawn of Cthulhu are far beyond us mere mortals.
It doesn't affect STARSPAWN!
It does, however, affect CCCHUCK!
CCCHUCK was eaten!
What the --
YOG-SOTHOTH IS THE GATE!
CCCHUCK used YOG-SOTHGATE!
CCCHUCK ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Apologies for the delay, today was busy and I didn't get this done until shortly before posting. Terra returns, and follow-up on what happened with Shinji missing.
I don't know what's become of Rei yet.

Battle 110: Angelic Loose Ends 8/3/2023
Location: Terminal Dogma
Player: Terra [10-4-2] Last Battle: Win vs. Guzzlord (#104)

LILITH appeared!
... Does... Does this even count as a Demon Lord?
I was looking for Lust and I know some sources claim it's Lilith...
But I feel like this is the wrong Lilith.
Also there's other sources that say it's Asmodeus.
But besides that, we're sort of ... PG, PG-13 at best? How are you even gonna handle Lust there?
And anyway, this thing seems less 'lust' and more 'maternity'... or 'body horror'...
Or 'Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man with a weird mask'.
Then again, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man was a boss.
Eh. Might as well!
TERRA used ULTRA BALL!
Congratulations! LILITH was caught!

Location: Central Dogma

Enemy SACHIEL used CROSSBEAMS!
Ally GEOFRONT fainted!
AOBA: 22nd layer of armor destroyed! The target is entering the GeoFront!
HYUGA: Emergency! Unidentified object rising from Terminal Dogma!
MISATO: Another Angel?!
HYUGA: Negative! Pattern Flame!
...It means Hiber hasn't forgotten evolving me into this...
Bye.
TERRA ran away!
IBUKI: Original target withdrawing from Geofront in pursuit of secondary target!
Enemy SACHIEL ran away in pursuit!

Location: Tokyo-3 Outskirts

... okay ... Let's see...
Enemy SACHIEL appeared!
Enemy SACHIEL wants to fight!
Oh sod off you two faced skull beaked arm thing...
SACHIEL: o,o
SACHIEL: -,-
SACHIEL: o,o
SACHIEL: . . .
SACHIEL: +,+
Enemy SACHIEL used CROSSBEAMS!
Don't waste your time, I'm Terra, I'm immune to your mortal--
It's not very effective...
... Ow. That actually hurt, my armor is cracked a little...
Guess we gotta take it seriously...
Send out which POKéMON?
Well I can't use the demon lords because it's using cross beams and they'd be at a type disadvantage...
Same for that venom guy... Literally an undead vampire...
Go, Guzzlord.
Go! GUZZLORD!
GUZZLORD: AAAAAAAAAA
Hammer Arm.
GUZZLORD used HAMMER ARM!
Enemy SACHIEL used SPEAR ARM!
Forces collide!
SPEAR beats HAMMER!
GUZZLORD fainted!
... Tch... FE rules, of course...
Maybe one of the StarDroids? Are they even still with me?
Wait... Minos. He's just a damned soul, not an actual demon. Probably.
TERRA sent out MINOS!
... Wait, when did TERRA catch MINOS!
Battle 55, after you ran off.
MINOS: ...help...
Minos, use your Devil's Axe!
MINOS: The one with the 30% chance of...
MINOS: Oh gods and demon lords help me.
Yep!
MINOS used DEVIL AXE!
Critical hit!
Enemy SACHIEL is in critical condition!
Enemy SACHIEL used ANGEL SPEAR!
MINOS fainted!
... close but no cigar...
I do still have the StarDroids, right... Wait. I know. Go, Dark Moon.
Go! DARK MOON!
Enemy SACHIEL used SPEAR ARM!
Enemy SACHIEL's attack missed!
Of cours it did, you numbskullface, its weak spot hasn't even shown up yet...
And it's not gonna.
TERRA used ULTRA BALL!
Congratulations! SACHIEL was caught!
Well uh... I guess that happened.
I think I can use this, maybe a change of plans...
TERRA won!
... NARRATOR is becoming increasingly concerned!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

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