Pokébattles Foxfire

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This is where official battles go. New battles below, newest first. Archived battles on the left, recent battles below.

<< Older | 141 | 142 | 143 | 144 | 145

I think this plot-arc is finally coming to a close. Literally half the Version's lifetime...
It's about the right time, too. It's almost the 25th anniversary.

Battle 145: Financial Meltdown 4/4/2024
Location: Hell, Second Circle
Player: Mammon [No Record]

TERRA appeared!
Oh joy.
Perhaps you can explain why two of my most profitable minions have gone missing.
More precisely, I can sense one of them on your person.
And... I'm the second-to-last, aren't I?
TERRA: Nah, last. I caught Lucifer off camera.
TERRA: He was really ticked off he didn't even get a scene. But we were out of time.
TERRA: Anyway, time to get in the ball.
... greedy. Selfish. Self-centered. ... Good.
What's your price?
I am money. I can offer you wealth beyond your wildest dreams.
TERRA: ... Just ... get in the ball already?!
Interesting. You're so devoted that no material wealth will sway you?
TERRA wants to fight!
TERRA sent out LONGRAT!
... and there's my servant, right there.
Shame his ... 'Orphan Crusher 2000' never came to fruition.
LONGRAT: EXCUSE YOU, it's 'OrphanXruXer2000'.
LONGRAT: Sure you pronounced it right but THE XS ARE IMPORTANT.
LONGRAT: And besides! I paid you my dues. I love your employee life insurance policies!
Yes, yes, and I appreciate your soul tribute, now could we please--
TERRA: GET ON WITH IT
... I suppose I must. Go, Mint!
MAMMON sent out MINT!
Die strike.
MINT used DIE STRIKE!
... Longrat, my employee, is not at work. Therefore, he must be on strike.
... good enough for NARRATOR!
LONGRAT: OI you know I'd break a strike for you any day--
And yet, somehow you have not. And you know how it is.
The moment it will profit us something to turn our backs on each other, we must.
It's just rational economics.
LONGRAT is on STRIKE!
LONGRAT DIEd!
MAMMON's SOUL HARVEST: GREED!
Congratulations! LONGRAT was caught!
TERRA: Oh, you cheating...
TERRA: Go, Pluto!
... God of Wealth? Really?
TERRA sent out PLUTO!
PLUTO: GAOOOOO~
PLUTO used BREAK DASH!
PLUTO BROKE the DIEs and DASHed off!
PLUTO ran away!
TERRA: ... uhhh. I'll have to get him back later.
TERRA: He's gone completely feral after he learned his planet was demoted to dwarf planet.
TERRA: So uh.... your money won't do you any good.
Tch. You know, I offer so much more than money...
TERRA: Your name is literally "profit" or "wealth" or something.
Well, yeah. That's the greatest trick I ever played.
Convincing them that I wasn't just the incarnation of wealth.
That there were non-greedy ways to accumulate excess and leave others without.
That serving money was somehow not inevitable service to greed.
TERRA: That's real nice, but uhh... You haven't sent out another Pokémon so.
TERRA used ULTRA BALL!
WHAT
3...
2...
1...
Congratulations! MAMMON was caught!
TERRA: ... well, that's all of 'em.
TERRA: ... it's time.

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Been a long time coming, this battle.

Battle 144: Second Circle Showdown 3/21/2024
Location: Hell, Second Circle
Player: Terra [9-6-5] Last Battle: Loss vs. Hanged Juan. (Battle 143)

ASMODEUS appeared!
F I N A L L Y
I. Have been chasing you.
For.
TERRA used ARCHIVE CLICK!
67 battles. Almost half the Version's runtime!
And now we're back where it all began!
ASMODEUS: Let's keep it that way then. For you.
ASMODEUS used SMOKE BOMB!
ASMODEUS ran away!
No.
TERRA used SPARK CHASER!
SPARK CHASEd down enemy ASMODEUS!
ASMODEUS' ESCAPE failed!
ASMODEUS: Oh come on, I can't even use most of my stuff here because--
UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD used RUMBLE!
ASMODEUS: ... that.
No. No sympathy. I already have four of you princely fricks and when you're done the last two are easy.
We are doing this. Now. ASMODEUS is trying to run away!
Can't escape!
Enemy ASMODEUS was dragged out!
Ultra Ball, g--
ASMODEUS: NOPEnopenope I lust for life and freedom
Enemy ASMODEUS withdrew ASMODEUS!
Enemy ASMODEUS sent out ACHILLES!
TERRA used ULTRA BALL!
The trainer blocked the BALL!
Don't be a thief!
... see now that's more like it. Go, Guzzlord.
TERRA sent out GUZZLORD!
GUZZLORD: FEED. ME. GUZZLER.
Enemy ACHILLES used SWIFT!
Enemy ACHILLES' attack hit!
...Devour him.
GUZZLORD used DEVOUR!
It didn't effect enemy ACHILLES!
...
Right. That won't work.
Enemy ACHILLES used RAGE!
Enemy ACHILLES' RAGE is building!
Enemy ACHILLES' attack rose!
... Guzzle.
On the River Styx.
GUZZLORD used GUZZLE!
RIVER STYX fainted!
... NARRATOR is unsure what effect this will have on AFTERLIFE!
But, ACHILLES' DEFENSE greatly fell!
Enemy ACHILLES used RAGE!
It's super furious!
GUZZLORD fainted!
... a predictable loss. Go, VenomMyotismon.
The enemy's weakened! Get'm VENMYOTISM!
Enemy ACHILLES used EXTREMESPEED!
VENMYOTISM is in critical condition!
...lots of power behind that range.
But if you're in critical condition anyway...
VenomMyotismon, Venom Infusion.
VENMYOTISM used VENOM INFUSION!
Critical hit!
ACHILLES: ... oh nooo, I seem to have a poisonous teabag lodged in my chest. That's too bad, it's not my heel--
ACHILLES: -- WaitwhyamIbleeding--
Enemy ACHILLES fainted!
TERRA won!
... Wait, I wasn't fighting Achilles, I was fighting Asmodeus, where'd he--
You can't see any ASMODEUS here!
No. No we're not doing this.

Location: Hell, Second Circle, Roughly 2500 Feet Away

ASMODEUS: Huff... Puff... Think I lost him...
TERRA appeared!
... Okay, I have had it with your shenanigans.
TERRA sent out LILITH!
TERRA sent out LILITH!
TERRA sent out ALL STARDROIDS!
TERRA sent out DARK MOON!
TERRA sent out BELPHEGOR!
BELPHEGOR is fast asleep!
TERRA sent out BEELZEBUB!
BEELZEBUB: I'm hungry! I've had nothing but PokéChow for months!
You ate all of it
TERRA sent out ABADDON!
ABADDON: A curse upon all those who have not been captured and who have...
TERRA sent out DISPATER!
DISPATER: rrrrRRREEEEEE--
TERRA sent out LONGRAT!
LONGRAT: Excuse me I have a very important meeting I'm--
Shut the foxburned hell up, your share prices went up with you gone and more importantly we have more important things to deal with right now Enemy ASMODEUS ran away!
Enemy ASMODEUS was blocked by LILITH!
Enemy ASMODEUS ran away!
Enemy ASMODEUS was blocked by DARK MOON!
...no-holds-barred beatdown. Just keep attacking until he stops moving.
ALL TERRA'S POKéMON used NO-HOLDS-BARRED BEATDOWN!
Enemy ASMODEUS fainted!
I'M CATCHING HIM ANYWAY
TERRA used ULTRA BALL!
ASMODEUS used ESCAPE!
DARK MOON, HOLD IT SHUT
DARK MOON used ENVELOP!
ULTRABALL was fully enveloped!
ASMODEUS' escape failed!
Congratulations! Enemy ASMODEUS was caught!
... whew...

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

And now, time for a Pokébattles tradition: Make the author avatar suffer. Works better if they deserve it.
Also, the cursed ... whateveritis is back. Because I felt like it.

Battle 143: Onion Quest 3/21/2024
Location: Waterfall
Player: Hiber [9-5-5] Last Battle: Draw vs. Sans and Juan. (Battle 141)

... onions. Onions. Need to find some onions.
ONIONSAN appeared!
ONIONSAN: Hey... There... Noticed you were... Here...
No I'm not
HIBER ran away!
Location: Altar Cave

... hmmm ...
ONIONKID appeared!
ONIONKID appeared!
ONIONKID appeared!
ONIONKID appeared!
... no, I'm not that off the deep end.
HIBER ran away!

Location: Amber Forest

MIDGYOTO appeared!
...
MIDGYOTO: hehe lol
MIDGYOTO: son of an onion
... I have sought out the Forbidden Root, and now I must face the penalty for my sins ...
NOT
I'm outta here!!!
HIBER ran away!

Location: Italy?

... how did I get here ...
JUAN. appeared!
JUAN: GIVE... ME... MY... LIVER... BACK...
JUAN. wants to fight!
No.
Can't escape!
What? JUAN. is evolving!
Congratulationns! Enemy JUAN. evolved into HANGED JUAN.!
... please, we all know how this ends...
HIBER used DANCING EMBERS!
HIBER's attack missed!
Enemy HANGED JUAN. used JUAN.DICE!
Enemy HANGED JUAN rolled HELL BOXCARS!
... what does that mean...
HIBER received 216 damage!
HIBER was JAUNDICEd!
... It ... it actually happened...
Oh screw you Sans ...
HANGED JUAN: YOU'RE YELLOW NOW.
HANGED JUAN: THAT'S MY ATTACK.
HIBER's hurt by JAUNDICE!
MIDGYOTO: hehe lol u son of an onion
HIBER's hurt by the SICK BURN!
...tactical retreat.
HIBER used POKé DOLL!
HIBER ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm having fun

Battle 142: A Sappy Ending 3/14/2024
Location: Snowdin Woods
Player: Papyrus [1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Headcrab (Battle #88)

PAPYRUS used HAIRDRYER!
Hot air defrosted ally SANS!
SANS: pretty warm welcome. SANS. WHY MUST YOU ANTAGONIZE THE AUTHOR.
SANS: worth it.
SANS.
THE AUTHOR HAS MADE IT CLEAR IN TERMS THAT EVEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CANNOT MISINTERPRET...
THAT THEIR FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU ARE VERY...
...MURDERY. AT BEST.
SANS: i guess you could say they have...
SANS: a bone to pick.
SANS! PLEASE TRY TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY FOR ONE MOMENT!
SANS: eh, i'm not worried, if i die i can just come back in two months.
SANS: besides, it seems like they cleared up the timeline business... so i guess this is a happy ending anyway?
NEVER MIND THAT. IT WOULDN'T BE A HAPPY ENDING WITHOUT YOU AROUND!
... EVEN IF IT HAS BEEN NINE YEARS, AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T FIXED THAT SOCK!
SANS: oh, darn it.
IT ISN'T TORN. IT'S JUST IN THE LIVING ROOM!
... ANYWAY.
THANKS FOR STILL BEING AROUND. THAT'S ALL.

SANS: couldn't'a done it without you, bro. ... SANS and PAPYRUS used SAPPY MOMENT!
It's super effective!
SAP wants to fight!
OH!
A NEW POSSIBLE PROTEGE! OR A HUMAN?!
SANS: it looks like it's just some tree liquid.
...OH.
THIS WORLD'S BATTLE SYSTEM IS MILDLY CONFUSING, BUT I WILL SEND OUT ... THE BLOW DRYER!
Go! HAIRDRYER!
Enemy SAP sent out SAP!
Enemy SAP used SAP!
PAPYRUS' SENTRY STATION fainted!
... WELL. THAT WAS A PERFECTLY GOOD AFTERNOON WASTED.
... HMM. IT IS MY TURN. I MUST GIVE COMMANDS.
BUT IF I AM TO BE A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD,
(OR ITS ONLY MEMBER, AS THE CASE MAY BE,)
THEN I MUST BY ALL MEANS BE CAPABLE OF LEADERSHIP IN A PINCH!
...
HAIR DRYER, USE DRY!
HAIRDRYER used DRY!
What? Enemy SAP is evolving!
Congratulations! Enemy SAP evolved into PITCH!
Enemy PITCH used PERFECT PITCH!
It's super resonant!
Nearby GLASS OF WATER fainted!
Ally SANS' BONES were fully RATTLED!
.. SEE! THE AUTHOR DEFINITELY HAS IT IN FOR YOU.
ANYWAY!
HAIRDRYER, USE DRY AGAIN!
HAIRDRYER used DRY!
What? Enemy PITCH is evolving!
Congratulations! Enemy PITCH evolved into AMBER!
PAPYRUS found AMBER!
OH. IT SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A GEMSTONE.
AN UNMITIGATED SUCCESS!
... I THINK.
PAPYRUS won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

This battle was inspired by memes related to Undertale Yellow, which is free, very good, and which you should play.
It does not feature Sans, he's only there because funny.
(Note that I actually do not have liver failure, it was just funny)

Battle 141: Could Use Some Fava Beans 3/7/2024
Location: Woods...?
Player: Hiber [9-5-4] Last Battle: Win vs. Writer's Block (#138)

... how did I get here.
More to the point, where is 'here'.
Might as well go forward.
HIBER used GOFORWARD!
... ??? instantly snapped wild BRANCH in half!
... Oh I know exactly where we are.
I reach this bridge and...
???: human...
???: i remember yuo're juandice.
. . .
I have never had liver failure
HIBER used SWIFT!
??? used AUTO-DODGE!
It doesn't affect SWIFT!
??? fainted!
... also, ??? was renamed SANS!
...just gonna pretend that didn't happen...
Wild JUAN. appeared!
...
JUAN. wants to fight!
He is literally a horse.
On a balcony.
... then again, I've never had horse meat ...
Enemy JUAN. sent out DICE!
...
I already told you I don't have liver failure
Go, me!
Go! HIBER!
Enemy DICE used JUAN.DICE!
Enemy DICE rolled JUAN., 5!
Enemy DICE's JUAN. greatly rose!
Enemy SANS: human... i remember you're juan.dice...
I do not have liver failure
... right. you want someone to have jaundice that badly, well then? juan. dies.
I'm going to deliver.
HIBER used DELIVER!
Enemy JUAN.'s LIVER was fully DE!
Enemy JUAN.'s JAUNDICE greatly rose!
Enemy JUAN. ran away!
... And another for the smart aleck skeleton
HIBER's attack continues!
Enemy SANS received DELIVERY of FAST FOOD!
... composed entirely of KETCHUP!
Oh, it punned...
...So I take it that means he's not secretly some other protagonist in a skeleton suit?
Then where's the blood come from when he dies?!?
SANS: bone marrow.
...
HIBER used CHILL TO THE MARROW!
Enemy SANS was frozen solid!
... heck with all of this, I'm making liver and onions...
HIBER is trying to use LIVER AND ONIONS!
You can't see any ONIONS here!
...oh me it's going into Zork mode...
HIBER ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

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