Pokébattles Foxfire

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Battles 126-130. Dreams of a Food Fight. Hiber falls asleep following Thanksgiving 2023, and the Version is attacked by food dream hallucination things.

<< Older | 126 | 127 | 128 | 129 | 130 | Newer >>

... not actually directly based on a true story.
But I have arc ideas.

Battle 126: Fever-Dreams 11/26/2023
Setting: Reality 30% / Dream 70%
Player: Hiber [8-3-4] Last Battle: Win vs. Giovanni (LV) (Battle #125)

Enemy TURKEY appea--
DEVOUR
HIBER used DEVOUR!
It's super effective!
Enemy TURKEY fainted!
Enemy TURKEY used FINAL ATTACK: TRYPTOPHAN!
It's super effective!
... oh, food coma, my old nemesis...
*flump*
HIBER fell asleep!

Player: Jane F. Deer [9-3-5] Last Battle: Win vs. Iron Mask (FF #2)

MEATLOAF wants to fight!
...the singer?...
... The FOOD!
... uh...
Go, Taser...
Go! TASER!
Enemy MEATLOAF sent out MEATLOAF!
Enemy MEATLOAF is loafing around!
Enemy MEATLOAF used LOAF!
... uh...
TASER is loafing around!
... okaaay..
Enemy MEATLOAF: Meatloaf, use that!
Enemy MEATLOAF is loafing around!
... it's giving commands to ... itself? And refusing?
Enemy MEATLOAF used instead, ANYTHING FOR LOVE!
Wait, I thought you said it wasn't the singer are you telling me it's--
Enemy MEATLOAF: I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.
What even is "that" in this context--
Enemy MEATLOAF: Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down!
Enemy MEATLOAF used RICKROLL!
Enemy RICK appeared!
... ROLLing! With ROCK ability!
HAMSTER
Enemy RICK used SELECTBUTTON!
Enemy RICK gave up ROCK!
Enemy RICK: aaaaahhh--
Enemy RICK used OPEN MOUTH AND WALK FORWARD!
... to heck with this.
Something is wrong here. You're even more off the wall than normal, Narrator...
JANE withdrew TASER!
JANE used SMOKE BOMB!
JANE ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

A traditional Thanksgiving food, like many others, that was popularized by some commercial thing...
It's honestly really good. I feel bad for making this one the bad guy but it had to be done

Battle 127: Attack of the Green Bean Casserole 11/30/2023
Setting: Reality 50% / Dream 50%
Player: Steve "Darksteve" Simmons [4-2-2] Last Battle: Win vs. Giovanni (LV) (Battle #125)

... did they forget about me until now, or what...
No!
Enemy CASSEROLE appeared!
... 'enemy'?
Enemy CASSEROLE wants to fight!
Enemy CASSEROLE sent out MUSHROOMS!
Uhhh... Okaaaay...
Go, Cloyster?
The enemy's delicious! Get'm! CLOYSTER!
Enemy MUSHROOMS used MUSH ROOM!
ROOM was made to MUSH!
ROOM: Woof! Woof!
ROOM's SPEED greatly rose!
... is it just me or are things even more off the wall than usual...
Cloyster, use Filter!
CLOYSTER used FILTER!
Enemy MUSHROOM was stripped of MUSH!
What? Enemy MUSHROOM is devolving!
Enemy MUSHROOM devolved into ROOM!
Enemy CASSEROLE is furious!
Enemy CASSEROLE: Hey! How do you expect me to be incredibly delicious with room in me!?
... maybe you shouldn't have attacked me...
Anyway, Cloyster, use Clamp... On the number of creatures with the same name...
CLOYSTER used CLAMP!
Maximum number of POKéMON with same NAME was CLAMPed to 1!
Enemy ROOM was hedged out!
Enemy ROOM fainted!
Enemy CASSEROLE sent out GREEN BEAN!
Enemy GREEN BEAN used BEAN!
*bonk*
CLOYSTER was fully BEANed in the NOGGIN!
CLOYSTER fainted!
... that's one hard hitting green bean...
Go, Muk!
Go! Muk!
Enemy GREEN BEAN used GREEN!
WINDMILL appeared!
SOLARPANEL appeared!
HYDRODAM appeared!
It's super effective!
... okay that's the play...
Okay, Muk, use Toxic Sludge!
MUK used TOXIC SLUDGE!
It's super polluting!
Enemy GREEN BEAN was badly poisoned!
Enemy GREEN BEAN's hurt by poison!
Enemy GREEN BEAN fainted!
Enemy CASSEROLE: Now you've completely ruined it, what the heck ;-;
DARKSTEVE won!
... really, you shouldn't have attacked me...
... SKY used DARKEN!
?!?!?
STORM used RAGE!
EARTH used RUMBLE!
Enemy DREAMPUFF appeared!
... okay I know better than to even think about staying near a possible Doompuff spinoff.
Bye!
DARKSTEVE ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

h a m

Battle 128: Overacting 11/30/2023
Setting: Game 30% / Reality 20% / Dream 50%
Player: Steve "Darksteve" Simmons [5-2-2] Last Battle: Win vs. Green Bean Casserole (Battle #125)

It's like ... everything's running on dream logic or something.
Stopping and starting, bogeys appearing even more randomly than usual and disappearing when they lose focus.
JANE: Yeah, it's almost like it's an actual dream.
JANE: Wait, American Thanksgiving just happened a couple weeks ago, didn't it?
... tryptophan.
JANE: ...tryptophan.
But it's never done something this much before.
I feel like out of nowhere something's going to get all dramatic on us.
WALL fainted!
Enemy LARGE HAM appeared!
Enemy LARGE HAM: DID SOOOOMEBODY ORDER A LAAAARGE HAAAAM!?
BOSS: ----------
... is that...
JANE: It's a boss meter.
...But why,
JANE: It's a raid boss, obviously.
JANE: Or something. I don't play MMOs. Too ... data-stealey.
Uhh...
JANE: It's dream logic.
Send out which POKéMON?
--Go, Cloyster!
The enemy's a large ham! Get'm CLOYSTER!
Ally JANE sent out TASER!
Right, Cloyster, use Filter!
CLOYSTER used FILTER!
Enemy LARGE HAM's AUDIO FILTER was tuned!
Enemy LARGE HAM's ATTACK rose!
... backfired!
Ally TASER used COOKING WITH TASER!
...
... Ally TASER blew up!
Ally TASER fainted!
BOSS: --------
Even in a dream... Some things just aren't safe.
Enemy LARGE HAM: STEEEEERIKE ONE!
Enemy LARGE HAM: IIIIT'S HAMMMIN' TIME!
Enemy LARGE HAM used CHEW THE SCENERY!
SCENERY's STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY greatly fell!
... onto CLOYSTER!
CLOYSTER fainted!
... Oh magikarp.
Well, Muk would be a very bad idea if I don't want to provoke that ... Doompuff ... thing...
Go, Scyther.
JANE: ... when the frick did you catch a Scyther.
uhhh... Well there was this incident north of Cerulean with my Abra...
JANE: Oh never mind, more to the point!
Ally JANE sent out FRYINGPAN!
JANE: Spin!
... Spin?
Oh! Scyther! Cut! And spin around it!
SCYTHER used SPINNING CUT!
It's super effective!
BOSS: ----
Enemy LARGE HAM was fully SPIRAL SLICEED!
Ally FRYINGPAN used FRY!
It's super effective!
BOSS:
Enemy LARGE HAM's deliciousness rose!
Enemy LARGE HAM fainted!
Enemy LARGE HAM devolved into LARGE HAMBONE and LARGE HAMSLICES!
Got 59% LARGE HAMSLICES for winning!
... phew ...
JANE: Okay now that's done...
JANE: What were you saying about a Doompuff!? DREAMPUFF appeared!
... That
JANE: ... weird, why isn't it attacking...
JANE sent out SMARTPHONE!
SMARTPHONE used GOOGLE POKéDEX!
GOOGLE POKéDEX: DREAMPUFF, the Neutral Half-Remembered Scream Tail of Dreams.
GOOGLE POKéDEX: Extremely dangerous in nightmares, this POKéMON appears mild-mannered in sweet dreams.
JANE: So keep your Muk in its ball, poisoned food is a bad thing...
... r-right.
JANE ran away!
STEVE ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

... the true culprit is finally revealed...
Credit to Sandy Version for the concept of a Comma as a Narrator-capturing tool. Although in this case, it's more of a Narrator-capturing entity.

Battle 129: Threat Revealed 11/30/2023
Setting: Game 30% / Dream 40% / Reality 20% / Manga 10%
Player: Food Comma [No Record]

... and now, with the Webmaster deep in sleep, and the empty-minded Narrator captured under my power
I shall rule!
... just as soon as I capture this pesky letter.
NARRATOR! Transport me at once to Viridian City!
NARRATOR used FLY!

Location: Viridian City

OLD MAN: Hi! I've had my coffee and I feel great!
OLD MAN: Do you know how to catch POKéMON?!
No and I have a Dodrio GB and a turbo controller so let's just get this over with quickly.
FOOD COMMA used C►!
FOOD COMMA used TURBO B!
███████ was renamed FOOD COMMA!
FOOD COMMA was renamed OLD MAN!
OLD MAN was renamed FOOD COMMA!
... CUTSCENE was fully SKIPPED PAST!
Now take me to Cinnabar, post haste!
NARRATOR used FLY!

Location: Cinnabar Island

Surf!
NARRATOR used SURF!
Now bias my odds of finding a wild level 0 'M.
Real hard.
Wild ██ 'M ██ appeared!
Go, Shellder.
Go! SHELLDER!
Filter attack. For nonalphanumeric characters.
SHELLDER used FILTER!
SHELLDER filtered NONALPHANUMERIC DATA!
Wild ██ 'M ██ was renamed M!
Enemy M is glowing!
Great Ball!
FOOD COMMA used GREAT BALL!
Congratulations! M was caught!
Enemy M used SKY ATTACK!
...Great Ball!
FOOD COMMA used GREAT BALL!
Congratulations! DITTO was caught!
And now, with a single letter M in my possession, I can...
BLAINE wants to fight!
BLAINE sent out MEWTWO!
Go, Narrator.
Go! NARRATOR!
Enemy MEWTWO used RECOVER!
NARRATOR was RECOVERed fro--
NOPE you get back in right this instant
...worth a shot...
NARRATOR enough! Come back!
Go, Canberry Sauce!
Enemy BLAINE: ... shouldn't that be 'cranberry'...
... Not if it's jellied stuff that doesn't remotely resemble cranberries anymore.
With the dark power of incomprehensibly processed food, we shall win!
Enemy MEWTWO whipped out GIANT SPOON!
...
.... Oh fries, it's the manga version...
Enemy MEWTWO used GIANT SPOON!
It's super effective!
CANBERRY SAUCE fainted!
... well fudge, all my battle 'mon that aren't set up for cheap gimmicks are food.
Unless... Go, externally cooked stuffing.
Go! ECSTUFFING!
Enemy MEWTWO used GIANT SPOON!
It's super effective!
... against MEWTWO!
Enemy MEWTWO was burned!
Enemy MEWTWO was badly poisoned!
You potato! I've put ghost peppers in the stuffing mix!
Enemy MEWTWO's hurt by poison!
Enemy MEWTWO's hurt by the burn!
Enemy MEWTWO fainted!
Enemy BLAINE also fainted!
Got ¥2327 for winning!
ECSTUFFING grew to level 48!
...the old ghost-peppers-in-the-mix trick, always gets 'em...

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

I truly have no idea where this arc came from but now this chaos is done with, I think..

Battle 130: Side-Dish Showdown 12/21/2023
Location: Mt. Winter Cave
Player: Food Comma [1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Blaine (#129)

And now, with M in my possession, I shall evolve the Webmaster's Food Coma into a Food Comma...
In other words, akin to myself!
And so, we the Food Commas will take over the version!
DARKSTEVE: Dude, gloating about your plans is like ... way at the top of the evil overlord list.
JANE: Hands up! ... or, uh, weird tail thing up!
DARKSTEVE wants to fight!
JANE wants to fight!
... naive, naive, naive!
Go, Sweet Potatoes and Marshmallow
Go! SWEETPOTAT!
Enemy DARKSTEVE sent out CLOYSTER!
Enemy JANE sent out TASER!
Gum it up! Marshmallow!
SWEETPOTAT used MARSHMALLOW!
Enemy CLOYSTER used FILTER!
Forces collide!
Enemy CLOYSTER's FILTER was CLOGGED!
Enemy CLOYSTER fainted!
Enemy TASER used TASE!
It's not very effective...
SWEETPOTAT fainted!
Fun thing about using food as Pokémon.
They can quite literally be used as fodder.
Go, Jello Salad.
Get'm! JELLO SALAD!
Use Jell.
JELLO SALAD used JELL!
Eenmy TASER was covered in WATER-PROTEIN GEL!
Critical hit!
Enemy TASER fainted!
Enemy STEVE sent out SCYTHER!
Enemy SCYTHER used SCYTHE!
JELLO SALAD was cut in half!
JELLO SALAD fainted!
Enemy JANE sent out SHOTGUN!
... well that's an escalation.
Right, go, Pumpkin Pie, Pecan Pie, Chess Pie, Mince Pie, Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Sweet Potato Pie, Chocolate Cream Pie, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie!
Go! PUMPKINPIE!
Get'm! PECANPIE!
Do it! CHESSPIE!
Go! MINCEPIE!
Go! APPLEPIE!
Go! CHERRYPIE!
Go! MINCEPIE!
Go! CHOCCRMPIE!
Go! PIE!
STEVE: Ahh, serious mode I see...
And now, as you can see, I have nine pies on the field.
In other words, pie = 9.
But pi is equal to approximately 3.14 and e is equal to roughly 2.72.
Therefore, pie, pi*e, is equal to roughly 8.54.
And yet, pie = 9!
JANE: Couldn't we just ... eat about 40% of one of them--
... No.
PIE COLLECTION used BAD MATH!
It's super effective!
Enemy SCYTHER fainted!
Enemy SHOTGUN fainted!
Enemy DARKSTEVE is in critical condition!
It doesn't affect enemy JANE!
Now, Pie Barrage!
PIE COLLECTION used PIE BARRAGE!
Hit 5 times!
... Mostly directly in the face!
PIE COLLECTION fainted!
Enemy JANE fainted!
DARKSTEVE: ... what a nightmare...
Oh, yes, it is a nightmare.
Now with you out of the way, I'll just add this M in, and absorb the Webmaster...
And become the Webmaster! I'll be all powerful! Aha! Aha! Ahahaha...
... what are you looking at.
Enemy DREAMPUFF appeared!
... fudgesicles I forgot about that.
Enemy DREAMPUFF instantly snapped FOOD COMMA in half!
FOOD COMMA died!
... incidentally, FOOD COMA also died!

Player: Hiber

... ugh, what happened...
...
... It was the turkey again wasn't it...
Yes!
Well what happened while I was out--
HIBER used ARCHIVE BINGE!
... uh huh ...
... what the ... Why is it named Dreampuff when it's a Scream Tail...
Let's fix that.
DREAMPUFF was renamed DREAM TAIL!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

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