Pokébattles Foxfire

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Battles 151-155.

<< Older | 151 | 152 | 153 | 154 | 155 | Newer >>

The showdown, Giovanni vs. Giovanni. Poorly planned and rushed, but what of my battles isn't?

Battle 151: G vs. G: The Musical 7/11/2024
Location: ~~Forest~~ ~~Grassy Field~~ Burned Patch of Doom
Player: Giovanni

GIOVANNI appeared!
And it's about time.
Now, to see what's left of my organization.
GIOVANNI is not GIOVANNI!
...what.
GIOVANNI: I was born to rule the world, and I almost achieved that goal--
That's my line!
...Wait! I wouldn't sing it!
Oh! You're the imposter from that musical!
GIOVANNI: Looks like you're in double trouble.
JESSIE, JAMES, MEOWTH: Team Rocket's Rockin'!
... did you seriously promote those three to ... personal background singers?
GIOVANNI: They're just the players, in MY master plan!
Well then, why don't you just show me what that master plan is!
GIOVANNI: I'm glad you asked. Behold!
Enemy GIOVANNI sent out MECHAMEW2!
... Enemy GIOVANNI also, wants to fight!
Mutual!
There is no room in this world for imposters.
... wait. Isn't that just a robot built like Mewtwo.
GIOVANNI: Yes. The world's most powerful Pokémon! Able to learn any move and return it in kind!
... Go, Buried Alive II.
Go! BURIED ALIVE II!
GIOVANNI: Wait, that's not even a POKémMON.
I know.
Buried Alive II, by the power vested in me by my Earth Badge, use People Eater!
GIOVANNI: MegaMew2, Learn attack!
BURIED ALIVE II: ...
BURIED ALIVE II: Yum, fresh meat!
BURIED ALIVE II used PEOPLE EATER!
... on GIOVANNI!
Good, good, dispatch the imposter and -- STOP BITING MY LEG, RETURN!
BURIED ALIVE II enough! Come back!
Enemy MECHAMEW2 used LEARN!
Enemy MECHAMEW2 learned PEOPLE EATER!
Enemy MECHAMEW2 used PEOPLE EATER!
... on enemy GIOVANNI!
Enemy GIOVANNI ran away, pursued by MECHAMEW2!
Well this seems familiar. Wait, he's Ash's dad, isn't he?...
...Like son like father I guess.

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Buried Alive II finally gets to alive, and they're not alone...

Battle 152: Alive 7/25/2024
Location: Inside A Pokéball
Player: Buried Alive II [0-2-1] Last Battle: Draw vs. Giovanni/Giovanni (Battle #151)

...
Is he asleep now...
Enemy GIOVANNI is fast asleep!
Okay. Quietly. Quiiietly...
BURIED ALIVE II used EXIT!
BURIED ALIVE II left POKéBALL!

Location: Outside a Pokéball
Time: Middle of the Night

Enemy GIOVANNI is fast asleep!
Whew. Now to just ... get out of here.
It's tempting to eat him but that would wake him up and I'd be back where I started.
BURIED ALIVE II ran away!

Location: Lake

BURIED ALIVE II kept going and crashed!
...into LAKE!
LAKEMONSTER wants to fight!
...
Really? We're really doing this?
LAKEMONSTER: GAOOOO (yes)
Enemy LAKEMONSTER sent out DOS!
Now I wish I had one of those horrible monkeys, they'd DDOS it or something...
Go, White Hand!
The enemy's obsolete! Get'm WHITE HAND!
Enemy DOS used WORDSTAR!
Enemy DOS wrote EPIC FANTASY NOVEL SERIES!
...
...
...
... so ... is it going to finish or--
HBO appeared!
HBO used ADAPT!
What? EPIC FANTASY NOVEL SERIES is evolving!
Congratulations! EPIC FANTASY NOVEL SERIES evolved into BAD TVSHOW!
Enemy DOS fainted out of frustration!
... okay.
Enemy LAKEMONSTER sent out GOREBYSS!
Do I get a turn this time...
Yes!
White Hand, use Shoulder Loom.
WHITE HAND used SHOULDER LOOM!
But, enemy GOREBYSS doesn't have SHOULDERs!
It doesn't affect enemy GOREBYSS!
... Oh frick me, is it a snake? Dang.
Enemy GOREBYSS used GORE!
AL GORE appeared!
... who
LAKEMONSTER: GAOOOOOO (seriously? he invented the internet)
Cut me some slack, I've been dead literally my whole life until like a couple days ago.
AL GORE used INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY!
It's super effective!
GOREBYSS fainted!
WHITE HAND fainted!
... well uh.
That's my last one and I think that was your last too.
Enemy LAKEMONSTER nods! Usually this is where I'd crash the game but I have a very bad feeling about that somehow.
Call it a draw?
Enemy LAKEMONSTER: GAOOOO (yes)
Battle ended in a draw!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

I'm like 80% sure I already used an 'Insurance Ivan' or something, so...
Anyway, filler, or something? Jane, doing Jane things.

Battle 153: Head-X 8/8/2024
Location: Jane's House
Player: Jane F. Deer [10-4-6] Last Battle: Draw vs. Orange and T-Fanger Tom (Battle #135)

INSURANCEIVY wants to fight!
INSURANCEIVY: Hi! I'm here to talk about your cat insurance.
... I don't even own a cat.
JANE used DOORSHUT!
Enemy INSURANCEIVY used FOOTINTHEDOOR!
JANE's attack missed!
... Would you politely remove your foot from my door.
INSURANCEIVY: Did you know you could save fifteen percent or more by switching to InsuranceCo.™ Cat Insurance?
... 'Could' save. So you're saying it's not even a given.
I could save fifteen percent...
Or I could save more than fifteen percent...
Or I could save less than fifteen percent...
Or I could end up paying more than I am now.
Why even bother saying it
INSURANCEIVY: Annyoing marketing tactics, giving you a headache?
INSURANCEIVY: Try new prescription Head-X! Ask your doctor about it today!
INSURANCEIVY: Side effects may include coughing, fever, shortness of breath, abnormal loss of body temperature, flu, pneumonia, seizure, sprain, stroke, myocardial infarction, hemorrhage, cerebral palsy, bruising of the bones, tooth decay, migraines, death, dismemberment, decapitation, spontaneous cranial combustion, violent psychosis, and headache.
Do not use if you're allergic to cats, dogs, worms, raw beef, hydrochloric acid, lava, or mice, or if you have autism spectrum disorder or a compromised immune system. Do not use with any other medicine of any type. Head-X contains chemicals known to cause cancer in the state of California.
INSURANCEIVY: Ask your doctor about Head-X today!
... I.
That list of contraindications is too long.
INSURANCEIVY: InsuranceCo.™ Medical Insurance covers Head-X and many other common prescription medicines!
INSURANCEIVY: You could save 15% or more by switching to InsuranceCo.™ Medical Insurance!
Screw this. Go, Smartphone!
Go! SMARTPHONE!
Use that new digital summoning program we just downloaded.
SMARTPHONE used DIGITAL MONSTER SUMMON!
SMARTPHONE summoned PALMON!
Go! PALMON!
... uh. You have an attack. Use it?
Ally PALMON used POISON IVY!
Enemy INSURANCEIVY was poisoned!
...with HEADACHE!
INSURANCEIVY: Experiencing headache? Try new prescription-strength HEAD-X today!
Enemy INSURANCEIVY used HEAD-X!
... NARRATOR checked CONTRAINDICATIONS ...
... NARRATOR ... used RELAX-O-VISION!

Location: Relax-O-Vision

KITTEN used MEOW!
MOMMA CAT used LICK!
It's super adorable!
... ignore UNSPEAKABLESOUNDS from BACKGROUND ...
Location: Jane's House

Needless to say, enemy INSURANCEIVY fainted!
... okay well...
After watching that I think I have a bit more than headache to worry about.
...how was there that much fire ...
NARRATOR isn't sure!
NARRATOR doesn't really want to think about it!
Either way, JANE won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

It's 8/8, have a battle about great bait (and how bait is not a meaningful mechanic)

Battle 154: Bait and Switch 8/8/2024
Location: Silence Bridge
Player: Fisherman [No Record]

FISHERMAN used OLD ROD!
Oh! It's a bite!
The hooked MAGIKARP attacked!
..another one? Really?
I swear, there must be something wrong with this bait...
Go, Tentacool! Wrap!
Go! Tentacool!
TENTACOOL used WRAP!
TENTACOOL's attack continues!
TENTACOOL's attack continues!
TENTACOOL used WRAP!
TENTACOOL's attack continues!
... And so on!
Wild MAGIKARP fainted!
Guh... Least they're easy EXP...
What about this bait, "Sharpedo Chum"...
FISHERMAN used OLD ROD!
Not even a nibble...
FISHERMAN used OLD ROD!
Not even a nibble...
FISHERMAN used OLD ROD!
Oh! It's a bite!
The hooked MAGICARP attacked!
Go, Tentacool!
The enemy's weirdly spelled?! Get'm TENTACOOL!
TENTACOOL used WRAP!
TENTACOOL's attack missed!
Enemy MAGICARP used MAGIC!
Enemy MAGICARP cast BOLT2!
...
TENTACOOL fainted!
Fishbait... That's new.
Fine, go Goldeen. Horn Attack.
Go! GOLDEEN!
GOLDEEN used HORN ATTACK!
Enemy MAGICARP used ARP!
Enemy MAGICARP's ARPREQUEST failed!
GOLDEEN does not support TCP/IP!
Go, Pokéball!
FISHERMAN used POKéBALL!
3
2
1
Congratulations! Enemy MAGICARP was caught!
... well whew, what is this.
LINUX POKéDEX: MAGICARP. The Bored Narrator Pokémon.
LINUX POKéDEX: This Pokémon appears when a trainer refuses to replace or upgrade their OLD ROD over 10,000 times and the NARRATOR gets bored.
...
FISHERMAN has been using OLD ROD since 1996!
... are you seriously telling me all this time it wasn't the bait--

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Buryman vs. Pikaman. Pikaman was always supposed to be more prominent of a character but it didn't work out that way.

Battle 155: Maybe Alive 8/15/2024
Location:
Player: Buried Alive II [0-2-2] Last Battle: Draw vs. Lake Monster (#152)

Okayokayokay.
Hmm.
PIKAMAN appeared!
... who are you.
PIKAMAN: Man man pika kaman maman pipikakaman.
I didn't understand a word you just said.
Do you have fresh meat? It's like... super lonely and I'm getting hungry.
PIKAMAN: O.o
PIKAMAN wants to fight!
What? I'm the second Buried Alive. If I didn't complain about being lonely and then eat people where would I be?
Uh, go me I guess...
Go! BURYMAN2!
Wait, now I'm 'Buryman2'?
It fit within 10LETTER NAMELIMIT!
When do you ever adhere to that?!
Whenever NARRATOR can!
Enemy PIKAMAN sent out SHANK!
...
Really making me wish I had hands now...
Enemy SHANK used SHANK!
It's not very effective...
OW
Me, use Brutal!
BURYMAN2 used BRUTAL!
But, it failed!
... why
Can't load BRUTAL.SWF!
Ally FLASHPLAYER has been dead since 2021!
; ;
Enemy SHANK used SHIV!
It's not very effective...
That's not going to work, I'm some sort of undead zambie
Why are you carrying around a shank anyway!
PIKAMAN: Pika kapi.
PIKAMAN: Kapi pi man ka pi?!
Enemy SHANK used ELECTRO SHANK!
It's not very effective...
... you're just gonna keep stabbing me, you know that's not gonna--
BURYMAN2's HP fell to 0!
BURYMAN2 fainted!
... pay attention to the HP bar, always pay attention to the HP bar... x.x
Enemy PIKAMAN won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

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