Pokébattles Foxfire

>> Format
>> Records
>> Archives
>>> (001-100)
>>> (101-200)
>>> Battles 101-105
>>> Battles 106-110
>>> Battles 111-115
>>> Battles 116-120
>>> Battles 121-125
>>> Battles 126-130
>>> Battles 131-135
>>> Battles 136-140
>>> Battles 141-145
>>> Battles 146-150
>>> Battles 151-155
>>> Battles 156-160
>> MIDI Music

Battles 156-160.

<< Older | 156 | 157 | 158 | 159 | 160 | Newer >>

Mass drivers are seriously great, but I needed a cheap knockoff.

Battle 156: Orbital Launch 8/22/2024
Location: Rocket HQ
Player: Giovanni [6-3-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Giovanni (Live) (#151)

GIACOMO appeared!
GIACOMO: Prepare for anxiety throughout your society!
... What GIACOMO: To infect the skies and take over astronomy!
GIACOMO: And do it all with stellar economy!
GIACOMO: To despoil the folly of hope and grace!
GIACOMO: To reach out and spread throughout outer space!
GIACOMO: Team Mass Driver, launch at mach thirty three!
GIACOMO: Give up now, or soon you'll no longer be!
...
I. What?
GIACOMO: There's a new gang in town. The future is now, old man.
No, no, I'm not confused by what you're trying to do, I'm confused by how idiotic it all is.
For starters, you don't chant the motto yourself. You have goons for that.
More importantly, out! Out of my base!
GIACOMO: No.
GIACOMO wants to fight!
Go, Rhydon!
Enemy GIACOMO sent out RHYFERIOR!
Rhydon, Rock Slide!
...Wait.
Shouldn't that be ... Rhyperior?
RHYDON used ROCK SLIDE!
RHYDON slid on some ROCKs!
Enemy RHYFERIOR used GRAVEL SLIDE!
Enemy RHYPERIOR slid on some GRAVEL!
It's super effective!
... on enemy RHYFERIOR!
Oh, I see. Just a bootleg.
Enemy RHYFERIOR fainted!
Rhydon, return! Go, Dugtrio!
RHYDON enough! Come back!
Enemy GIACOMO sent out DUGDUO!
... these aren't even Pokégods, they're like... Pokéfakeouts.

Time: 5 minutes later...

GIACOMO is out of usable POKéMON!
GIACOMO blacked out!
...now. Who in the hells could be selling ripoff trainers fake Pokémon and also be trying to take over Rocket HQ...
Go, Ugly Monkey Gang.
The enemy's nonexistent! Get'm !
... There's nothing there.
Oh Mew above they've escaped.
GIOVANNI won!
... Sort of!?

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

This took far far too long to write especially for how short it is but ... now I have plot and possibilities for next time.

Battle 157: Ugly Monkey Comeback Meeting 8/29/2024
Location: Pyramid of Scheming
Player: Ugly Monkey Red [0-3-1] Last Battle: Loss vs. Sam Excavator (#136)

Well, prospects are down bigtime.
UMCoin is no longer going to the moon.
We're pretty sure Mammon is dead or worse, Long Rat is probably just as bad.
Oh, and I guess some of our big ticket backers got nabbed too.
Anyway. We're back but we badly need cash. Any ideas?
UM BLUE: Twitter? Or whatever they're calling it now?
No good, it's banned in Brazil.
UM CYAN: We could do another run of us making random AI faces!
I'd love to but they nabbed one of the big exchange guys and they've crashed hard.
We'd need a gimmick.
Like ...
Maybe some sort of big shot star.
SPAMTON appeared!
SPAMTON: [BIG SHOT]?!
SPAMTON: KID, I'M AN [HonestMan]
SPAMTON:
Oh, that disqualifies you.
We don't need honest men here.
UM GROUP used MENACE!
SPAMTON: <laughter>
SPAMTON: REALLY? YOU'RE KILLING ME KID.
SPAMTON: PLEASE STOP KILLING ME I WILL OFFER YOU ANOTHER DEAL
Let's hear it, honest man.
SPAMTON: HOT SINGLES STRAIGHT FROM [My] [Ant-sized] [Rapidly Shrinking] LIFE
Enemy SPAMTON sent out SPAMTON PLUSH!
Enemy SPAMTON ran away!
Well that was utterly pointless.
Any other ideas?
UM BLACK: More digital trading cards ... But if you buy ten you get a real trading card.
Getting closer. We'd need a printer and some cheap cardstock.
UM WHITE: Ooh! Sell them for $99.99!
UM GREEN: And maybe if you buy like a hundred you get some cheap piece of commemorative cloth from a suit or something!
Genius. All we need now is a sponsor, a printer, and a thing of cheap cardstock.
One for one and all for money!
UM GROUP: ONE FOR ONE AND ALL FOR MONEY!
UM GROUP dispersed!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

The ugly monkeys' revenge continues to run rampant.
At least I have a plot, for a while. I didn't say it was a good plot.

Battle 158: Ugly Monkey Comeback: Phase I 9/5/2024
Location: Gerry's Office
Player: Gerry [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Stan Escalator

It's nothing but fair to leave Ger in the chair.
It's the economy, stupid! Trickle down. Horseshoes.
UM BLUE appeared!
Crumbs! A liberative!
UM BLUE: Actually I'm--
GERRY wants to fight!
Go my precious perfect district, go on the attack!
Go! GERRYMANDER!
UM BLUE: ... Fine
Enemy UM BLUE sent out WEIRD LION!
Group them all in one place.
GERRYMANDER used PACKING!
Enemy WEIRD LION's EVADE fell!
Enemy WEIRD LION's DEFENSE rose!
Enemy WEIRD LION's ATTACK greatly fell!
Enemy WEIRD LION used RANDOMIZED EXPRESSION!
It's super uncanny!
It doesn't affect GERRY!
Supply-side economics. Inflation. Immigration? Taxes.
Dilute and conquer.
GERRYMANDER used CRACKING!
Enemy WEIRD LION's DEFENSE greatly fell!
Enemy WEIRD LION's EVADE fell!
Enemy WEIRD LION used RANDOMIZED EXPRESSION!
... doesn't Enemy WEIRD LION know any OTHER MOVES!
UM BLUE: No. That's why they're so profitable.
Enemy WEIRD LION's EXPRESSION was badly poisoned!
Enemy WEIRD LION died!
I am the greatest. Obviously this was my doing and not the result of systemic electoral manipulation.
UM BLUE: Actually that's what we came to talk to you about.
UM BLUE: We're trying to make loads of money, are you in?
Bribery. Certainly not.
Do you pay in gratuities?!
UM BLUE: Yes
Done
... Battle ended in a draw!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Yes this is probably some kind of allegory

Battle 159: Of Monkeys, Leopards and Faces 9/12/2024
Location: Leopard's Den
Player: Face-Eating Leopard [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Cliff (#149)

I alone am the greatest creature in all the universe. I was created to stand at the top of the hierarchy and eat the faces of all lesser beings.
Should I make an alliance, it is simply a temporary measure as I accumulate power, for the purpose of eating more faces.
UM GREEN appeared!
One of my natural prey, the scambro monkey.
LEOPARD used FACE EATER!
It's super effective!
UM GREEN fainted!
Thus all.
UM ORANGE appeared!
Perfect.
Hello, visitor. Are you in favor of leopards eating people's faces?
UM ORANGE: What's in it for me?
The people you don't like will get their faces eaten by a leopard.
UM ORANGE: Do I get their money?
... sure, let's go with that.
Moreover, it'll open up good-paying jobs and advance the economy, particularly in the face sector.
UM ORANGE: Hey, works out, we make faces for a living anyway.
UM ORANGE joined the party!
Battle ended in a--
HIBER: WAIT WAIT
HIBER appeared!
HIBER: It's called Poké Battles, not Poké Character Developments And Commentary!
HIBER: You can't just end the battle without someone fighting!
I'm fine with that. It gives me more opportunities to eat faces.
LEOPARD wants to fight!
UM ORANGE: Waitwaitwaitwe'vegotadeal--
Deals are for suckers. We do have a deal and your comrades will still fall prey to it.
Enemy UM ORANGE sent out ROTTEN ORANGE!
... Ew, fruit.
Go, my sycophantic baboon underlings. Show them our power, in our style.
Go! BABOON!
BABOON used FACE EATER!
It's not very effective...
It's super effective!
Enemy ROTTEN ORANGE fainted!
BABOON was badly poisoned!
Pity, you're no longer of use to me. Suppose you'll be next.
Enemy UM ORANGE sent out UM ORANGE!
BABOON enough! Come back!
Go! LEOPARD!
we both know how this ends.
LEOPARD used FACE EATER!
It's super effective!
Enemy UM ORANGE fainted!
Good, now for the other thing.
Beep beep boop beep beep boop beep.
LEOPARD used PHONECALL!
UM RED appeared!
Ugly Monkey Red, I'm with you now.
Unfortunately, Ugly Monkeys Green and Orange were traitors to your cause. I've dealt with them for you.
UM RED: Well I guess that's just how the cards fall sometimes, welcome to the club. *click*
LEOPARD won!

Location: Hiber's Writing-Lair
Player: Hiber

... wait just a moment.
All the ugly monkeys are supposed to be dead--
I knew I shouldn't have cheaped out on my reapers... Sandy had the right idea.

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

This ... took too long to write...

Battle 160: How Not To Acquire a Reaper 9/19/2024
Location: Almighty Computing
Player: Hiber [9-6-5] Last Battle: #143

LINUXMAN: So what seems to be the problem?
Hi, I need to pick up a Grim Reaper.
I'm getting spillover. Dead charactrs spontaneously coming back to life or sneaking out of the afterlife.
Here's my server.
HIBER sent out FFVERSION!
LINUXMAN: ...
LINUXMAN: ... this is three gameboys and an N64 stuck together with chewing gum and prayer.
Yes and
It's compliant with the PKB99 standard.
LINUXMAN: ...that standard is over 25 years old...
There's no active scripts and I have a good firewall.
... Anyway, the problem is my afterlife is suffering from unexpected spontaneous resurrection syndrome.
And my actual reaper is more focused on ... romancing some dark age costume hero man...
So I'm looking to get a better one.
The new Version Reaper seemed really nice. 'You are not the one' and the death beam and all. You got that?
LINUXMAN: Yeah unfortunately that's really only compatible with the PKB22 standard.
... right ...
Well, just give it to me anyway, I'll build it myself if I have to.
LINUXMAN: Whatever you say, boss.
HIBER got DEATH2K!

Location: Hiber's Writing-Lair

Right, just a little fiddling with this, a bit of messing around with that...
HIBER used BOOTSTRAP!
HIBER used PAPERCLIP!
HIBER used VIRTUAL CHEWING GUM!
Don't try this at home, kids.
FFVERSION wants to fight!
Why
Enemy FFVERSION sent out DEATH2K!
Enemy DEATH2K: 4F 4E 45 20 53 48 41 4C 4C 20 52 45 54 55 52 4E
Enemy DEATH2K used REAP!
It's not very effective...
Immortal! Not as blatantly as Immortus! But with fewer loopholes!
Hypnosis, I don't want to break this.
HIBER used HYPNOSIS!
But, it failed!
Enemy DEATH2K: 59 4F 55 20 41 52 45 20 4E 4F 54 20 54 48 45 20 4F 4E 45 2E
Enemy DEATH2K used HEAP!
FFVERSION's HEAP MEMORY greatly fell!
... uh.
That's. That's my dynamic memory.
Can you not
HIBER used FIRE SPIN!
Enemy DEATH2K was trapped!
Enemy DEATH2K exploded!
...
HECK
Enemy FFVERSION sent out FFVERSION!
... easy ... We don't need to fight over this...
Enemy FFVERSION used OVERHEAT!
CHEWING GUM melted!
nonononoNO--
Enemy FOXFIRE VERSION is in critical condition!
Go, Version Ball--
HIBER used VERSION BALL!
Rats! Almost had it!
Enemy FOXFIRE VERSION used CRASH!
Enemy FOXFIRE VERSION kept going and crashed!
!!!!!!
Enemy FOXFIRE VERSION held on using its FOCUS SASH!
... best ... investment ... ever ...
HIBER used VERSION BALL!
Congratulations! FFVERSION was caught!
... ... ...
HIBER fainted! Use next POKéMON?

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

<< First | < Older | Main Archive | Newer > | Latest >>