DARKSLOTH and GREEN VALKYRIE!  Please enter the arena!
Color Key: Game Text / DARKSLOTH's Dialogue / GREEN VALKYRIE's Dialogue

What is this mysterious 'tournament' I
have been hearing about?
It's where I kill you.
Ha!  And who art thou to say such a thing?
I am the evil overlord, Emperor Sloth.
You deceive me not - it is Lord Sloth who is the evil overlord.
You shall soon see the truth.
DARKSLOTH wants to fight!
The only truth is that you will perish by my hand.
GREEN VALKYRIE wants to fight!
Orange Julius, he's all yours!
GREEN VALKYRIE sent out ORANGE JULIUS!
I have saved my last Pokémon for just such an occasion…
DARKSLOTH sent out MEWTWO!
By the gods!  That thing is huge!
That thing, my friend, IS a god.
What?  Is there truth in this??
Er… yes…
Orange Julius!  Offer the god a drink!
ORANGE JULIUS used QUENCH!
MEWTWO's thirst was QUENCHED!
I prostrate myself before thee, almighty Mewtwo.
Eh?  Prostrate? 
Are we allowed to say that word on this site?
Imbecile!  You know not what the word even means!
I don't care, either.  Mewtwo, crush her!
MEWTWO is relaxed and content!
MEWTWO is glad to see a human respecting him for once!
Mewtwo!  Obey me or die!!
Almighty Mewtwo…
if there is anything else you desire of me, I shall obey…
MEWTWO joined GREEN VALKYRIE!
Mewtwo!  You'll pay for this!!
MEWTWO asks GREEN VALKYRIE
to defeat DARKSLOTH!
Of course, master.
Go!  Me!
EMPEROR SLOTH sent out EMPEROR SLOTH!
Julius, kill!
ORANGE JULIUS used QUENCH!
DARKSLOTH's thirst was QUENCHED!
What?  Julius, didn't you listen to me??
ORANGE JULIUS says that's the only attack it knows!
Ah… that was refreshing AND delicious!
Visit an Orange Julius location near you today!
Ugh… look what he's become…
POISON begins to take effect!
Urgh!
It appears that you have learned
from thy past mistakes, Julius.
ORANGE JULIUS smiles proudly!
*gasp* I take it all back!
Avoid Orange Julius like the plague!
Just hurry up and die.
DARKSLOTH fainted!
I suppose fainting will be good enough.

CHUCK WOOLERY and EVOLUMAN!  Please enter the arena!
Color Key: Game Text / CHUCK WOOLERY's Dialogue / EVOLUMAN's Dialogue

Welcome to Greed everyone!  I'll be your host…
Give it up, Woolery. 
We're not on your stupid game show.
Sure we are!  We're standing in this arena,
and there's the audience watching us...
That's because we're about to battle.
That's strange.  What do you mean by 'battle'?
This is a Pokémon tournament.
What's a Pokie Moon?
Pokémon!  It's pronounced POKéMON!!
I see.  This is related to Sailor Mon, isn't it?
Man, you really need to die.
EVOLUMAN wants to fight!
Venomoth!  Go!
EVOLUMAN sent out VENOMOTH!
Folks, let's take a look at the tower of Greed…
Venomoth, use Venom!
VENOMOTH used VENOM!
Ow!
*Ahem* We start with serious money here on Greed…
We begin with $25,000, then double it to $50,000…
Uhh… do it again, Venomoth.
VENOMOTH used VENOM!
After that we go to $75,000, then move on to $100,000…
This makes no sense!  Why doesn't it seem to affect him??
We then double that to get to $200,000…
Again, Venomoth!
VENOMOTH hesitates!
After that we go to $500,000. 
Then we double it to $1,000,000…
What's wrong, Venomoth?
VENOMOTH feels the need for GREED!
No!
And finally, our jackpot tonight, which is $70,000,000.
VENOMOTH wants to play!
No no, Venomoth… you want to FIGHT!
Okay Venomoth!  Now for our qualifying question…
Venomoth!  Return!
EVOLUMAN withdrew VENOMOTH!
Hey!  You can't abduct Greed contestants!
This isn't Greed!  This is pokie… er… Pokémon!
CHUCH WOOLERY wants to fight!
Finally!  This time I'll handle him by myself.
EVOLUMAN sent out EVOLUMAN!
CHUCK WOOLERY used QUESTION!
CHUCK WOOLERY asked you a QUESTION!
How did you manage to qualify for this tournament??
CHUCK WOOLERY doesn't know the
answer to your QUESTION!
CHUCK WOOLERY is distraught!
Heh… looks like you don't know all the answers after all.
CHUCK WOOLERY has no reason to LIVE!
CHUCK WOOLERY was affected by THE PLAGUE!
Great.  Die then.
CHUCK WOOLERY fainted!
Oh… well I guess fainting is good enough...

The Final Battle
GREEN VALKYRIE and EVOLUMAN!  Please enter the arena!
Color Key: Game Text / GREEN VALKYRIE's Dialogue / EVOLUMAN's Dialogue

Hey, you're new.
New?  What are you implying?
That you're new.
How dare you mock me with such implications! 
By the stars in the heavens,  I shall strike you down!
GREEN VALKYRIE wants to fight!
EVOLUMAN wants to fight!
So, how new are you?
I know not what you ask! 
Orange Julius, go!
GREEN VALKYRIE sent out ORANGE JULIUS!
Alakazam, you're up.
EVOLUMAN sent out ALAKAZAM!
Let me put my question this way - when did you fight your first battle?
I have fought many battles!  I know not when the first one was!
*sigh* I thought as you did, before I realized I was just a figment of some insane Webmaster's imagination.
What's the earliest battle you can REMEMBER…?
...odd.  I cannot remember anything earlier than a couple weeks ago..
I knew it!  You smelled like a 21st century trainer to me!
Imbecile.  Even the dimmest humans are aware that the 21st century hasn't yet begun.
Boy are you loopy.  Alakazam!  KILL!!
ALAKAZAM isn't READY!
Huh?
ALAKAZAM and ORANGE JULIUS grew so bored waiting, they are now chatting with each other and sharing a DRINK!
A DRINK?  In ALL CAPS?  Gee, this DRINK must be good!  I will try some!
Why do you sound like someone out of an Infomercial all of the sudden?
ORANGE JULIUS gave EVOLUMAN a DRINK!
EVOLUMAN is refreshed!
Mmm… lip-smackin' good.
Please stop smacking thy lips.  It truly is disgusting.
You know, your old English is extremely inconsistent.
I… uh… what dost thou mean?
Well sometimes you say 'thou' or 'thee', but you sometimes say 'you' instead!
You are lying - I have never made such a mistake.
YOU DID IT AGAIN!!
No!  Thou art as vile as you are treacherous.
THOU ART as vile as YOU ARE treacherous??  You are BAD at this!!
EVOLUMAN is LAUGHING!
I… stop… laughing I… you… thou… arrrghhh!!
GREEN VALKYRIE broke down in tears!
Face it, Greeny.  You're just no match for… DA EVOLUTION MAN!
GREEN VALKYRIE fainted!
Wha?  No I didn't…
EVOLUMAN wins!
I shall reign as Pokémon Champion forever!  MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!