Red Version Poké Battles #26-30: Villains and Warriors
Archived 12.15.1999
With the exception of battles #26 and 29, which were rewrites of award-winning Blue Version battles, the plotline of these battles was fairly linear.  The Blue Wizard, convinced that Lord Sloth was planning to take over the world, allied with him in hopes of gaining power.  Meanwhile, the Red Warrior was conspiring to defeat Lord Sloth in order to save the world.  They both made a tactical error, however, because the true evil overlord turned out to be none other than Emperor Sloth himself.

Villains and Warriors
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue

Battle #26: Tree Time  October 6, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Luke Skywalker  [Record: 2-1-1]  Last Battle: Loss vs. Pikachu (Tournament #1)
Based on the Webmaster's Choice award-winning Blue Version Battle #1, written by TomBoy802@aol.com.

DARKLUKE takes a WALK!
That I am... how did you know?
DARKLUKE crashes into TREE!
OW!  Since when do they stick trees in the street like that??
TREE is angry!
Great.  Now I've got an angry tree to deal with.
Look tree-thing - I don't have time to talk to you.  So why don't you make like a tree, and um... leaf.
TREE wants to leave!
Really?
ROOTS prevent TREE from leaving!
TREE wants to fight!
Well you leave me no choice.
My light saber will cut you into logs!
DARKLUKE sent out LIGHT SABER!
TREE sent out LEAF!
Hey!  You got that idea from my leaf joke!
Enemy LEAF used AGILITY!
Enemy LEAF's speed greatly rose!
Not very smart... now I'll just kill you.
LIGHT SABER used SLASH!
LIGHT SABER's attack missed!
What the... alright... Light Saber, quick attack!
Enemy LEAF used HEAVINESS!
That's just plain stupid...
It's super effective!
LIGHT SABER can't move!
JUST CUT THROUGH THE LEAF, LIGHT SABER!!!
Enemy LEAF's attack continues!
It's super effective!
LIGHT SABER fainted!
If you want a job done right, you just gotta do it yourself...
DARKLUKE sent out DARKLUKE!
TREE withdrew LEAF!
TREE sent out TREE!
Just you and me, tree.  We'll see who's uprooted at the end of this match.
Enemy TREE used FALL!
APPLES fell on DARKLUKE's head!
Hmm... why do apples fall to the ground?  Could it be that there is some force that pulls objects to the ground?  Yes... The Force!  The Force must cause things to fall!
DARKLUKE is stunned!
No I'm not, I'm just thinking about grav- ah... that is, The Force.
DARKLUKE is in trouble!
I am not!!  Leave me alone!
DARKLUKE ran away!
I didn't do that either!
There's a webmaster somewhere who's going to die for this.
Enemy TREE says he is the webmaster, and LAUGHS!
DARKLUKE is a coward!
You want cowardice??  I'LL SHOW YOU COWARDICE!!
Enemy TREE wins!
DARKLUKE really runs away!
I'll be back, Tree! I'll have my revenge!

Battle #27: Death  October 13, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Death  [No Record]

Oh come ON!  You want to make a Halloween-based battle and the best title you can come up with is Death??
Battle #27: The Death of Death  October 13, 1999
And THAT is a clearly copied from battle #8!
Battle #8!  Still available in the Poké Battles Archives!
This website has sunk to a new low.
I can't believe I volunteered to be in this battle.
LIFE wants to fight!
Um... I hope that's not the cereal because if it is it would be a really lame joke.
LIFE sent out CEREAL!
Have I mentioned that puns aren't funny?
Alright fine.  I'll play your little game.  I'm sending out Cereal Killer.
DEATH sent out SERIAL KILLER!
No!  That's the wrong one!
Enemy CEREAL used SOGGY!
Enemy CEREAL is SOGGY!
Okay, Serial Killer.  Smush it.
SERIAL KILLER is loafing around.
Figures...
SERIAL KILLER used KILL!
...and?
SERIAL KILLER KILLED!
Killed what?
Enemy CEREAL used POISON!
WHO OR WHAT DID THE SERIAL KILLER KILL???
It's super effective!
SERIAL KILLER fainted!
FINE!  I will now send out CEREAL killer!
OAK: DEATH!  This is not the time to use that!
DIE OAK!!
OAK DIED!
Okay, I'll now send out Cereal Killer.
Go! CEREAL KILLER!
Finally!  Now kill the cereal!
CEREAL KILLER used KILL!
CEREAL KILLER KILLED!
So it's dead now... right?
Enemy CEREAL used SOGGY!
Enemy CEREAL is SOGGY!
Why is that enemy still ALIVE??
...Just eat the cereal, alright Killer?
CEREAL KILLER used EAT!
Enemy CEREAL was EATEN!
Enemy CEREAL fainted!
Ha!
CEREAL caused SICKNESS in CEREAL KILLER!
CEREAL KILLER fainted!
Bah!  I don't need him anymore.
LIFE sent out LIFE!
Killing life should be an interesting experience.
Go!  DEATH!
DIE LIFE!!
LIFE DIED!
I- What the-?
DEATH wins!
What a stupid battle!  I didn't even get to show off my true power!
DEATH has no TRUE POWER!
Yes I do!  Give me an opponent to use it on!
DEATH ran way!
...um, I'm still here.
DEATH DIED!
...still here...
BATTLE has ENDED!
Then why am I still here?
...hello?
ARGH!  I'LL BE BACK!!

Battle #28: The Traitorous Wizard October 20, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Blue Wizard  [Record: 0-1-0]  Last Battle: Loss vs. Red Warrior (Battle #24)

DEATH appeared!
Death!  Where have you been all this time?
I've been looking all over for you!
DEATH says he was busy fighting LIFE!
The cereal?
DEATH says NO!
Well, you shouldn't run off like that.  I had need of you.
DEATH wants to know what you needed!
As you know, I have allied myself with Lord Sloth...
DEATH says he already knows that!
I'm not talking to you!  I'm talking to new visitors of this site!
Geez... I'm just showing a little courtesy here.
DEATH says that's lame!
You think everything's lame!
Anyway, the point is that I plan to take Lord Sloth's place as Evil Overlord.
I need you to help me.
DEATH says LORD SLOTH has no desire to fight anyone!
What're you talking about?  He's an Evil Overlord!
DEATH says you're thinking of Emperor Sloth!
Just get into your Poké Ball until I need you, alright?
DEATH reluctantly agrees!
DEATH!  Return!
Hmm... now where is that Lord Sloth...?
LSLOTH appeared!
Oh... there you are.
LSLOTH wants to know why you're here!
I'm your ally, remember?  We're going to take over the world.
LSLOTH says he doesn't want to take over the world!
LAUGHTER is heard from within Poké Ball!
Shut up, Death!
It really doesn't matter, Lord Sloth.  I am betraying you.  Defend yourself!
LSLOTH just sits there!
I WANT TO FIGHT!
LSLOTH says he doesn't!
Well, I'm fighting you anyway!
LSLOTH says OAK won't let you send out Pokémon when not in battle!
Well, I can try!  Go, Death!
Go!  DEATH!
LSLOTH is confused!
DEATH says he killed OAK last week!
Woohoo!  Fear my wrath, Lord Sloth.
LSLOTH hurt itself in its confusion!
Death, finish him off!
DEATH used KILL!
DEATH KILLED BLUE WIZARD!
Oh GREAT!  Now I'm dead!  Why'd you kill me??
DEATH says he was growing tired of your insolence!
You traitor!
DEATH says you were a traitor to RED WARRIOR!
That was different!
DEATH says you're DEAD and shouldn't be talking!
Oh yeah...
DEATH wins!

Battle #29: Road Ambush  October 27, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Joe  [No Record]
Based on the Readers' Choice award-winning Blue Version Battle #3, written by ge_heg3@hotmail.com.

JOE is going for a drive down the street!
Yep... just taking my new convertible out for a spin!
Joe realizes that he doesn't have a convertible!
Oh man!
Joe sees an old lady crossing the street!
Joe swerves to miss her!
Joe hits a Squirtle in the process!
Yeeha!  Roadkill!
Squirtle becomes enraged!
Oh... it lives... uh oh...
Squirtle sent out Mew!
A Mew??  You cheater!
Well if you can cheat, so can I! 
I'm sending all three of my Pokémon after you!
Joe sent out Hitmonchan, Hitmonlee,and Electabuzz!
SQUIRTLE: Squi Squirtl Squirtle!!!
Mew uses Razor claws!!
HEY!  You're supposed to aim for my Pokémon, NOT my convertible!!
Joe again realizes that he doesn't have a convertible!
AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!
Joe Becomes enraged!!
Hitmonchan! Thunder Punch! Hitmonlee! Super Kick!
Electabuzz! Blinding Light!!
MEW fainted!
YESSSSS!
Squirtle turns into old lady!!
No WAY!!  How could the old lady be two places at once??
Joe jumps into his car!
Ahh... feels good to finally drive my convertible again.
Joe again realizes that he DOESN'T HAVE A CONVERTIBLE
Yes I do!!
NO YOU DON'T!!
Alright FINE.  If you say so, I DON'T have a convertible.
Convertible GO!!!
Joe realizes... Oh what's the use!!!
Joe runs over the old lady!!
OLD LADY is de-evolving!
OLD LADY de-evolved into ROADKILL!
COOL!
Car gains 810938967 experience points!
Car evolves into Convertible!
...but I already HAD a convertible!
Oh well, at least I showed the narrator a thing or two.
Joe sticks his tongue out at the narrator!
I become enraged!!
I send out De-evolution spray!!
De-evolution spray?  NO!!
I don't want to become Roadkill!!
I laugh as I spray your convertible!
Ha!  You missed!  And you call yourself a narrator!
Joe's convertible de-evolved into CAR!!
AAAHHHH!!!  NOT MY CONVERTIBLE!!!
Joe again realizes he doesn't have a convertible!
Nooooooooo....
Joe rides off into the distance!

Battle #30: Fight to the Finish  November 3, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Red Warrior  [Record: 1-0-0]  Last Battle: Win vs. Blue Wizard  (Battle #24)

Aha!  I've got you now Lord Sloth!  Give up your evil schemes of conquest!
LSLOTH says he doesn't have any schemes!
Oh?  Then how do you explain the unsolved crimes throughout the city?
LSLOTH says it was probably TEAM ROCKET!
Yeah... you blame everything on Team Rocket don't you, you yellow-bellied freak!
Pokémon Yellow!  Now for sale in stores nationwide!
Arrrghh!!  Save the ads for later!  I'm trying to provoke a fight here!
LSLOTH just sits there!
I don't get it!  You're an Evil Overlord!!  Why don't you ever fight anyone??
LSLOTH insists that he's not evil!
LSLOTH says he just wants to be left alone!
Well if you're not the Evil Overlord, then who is??
EMPEROR SLOTH appeared!
Eh?  Who're you?
EMPEROR SLOTH says he's the true Evil Overlord!
I dunno... you don't seem very evil to me.  You don't even look threatening.  Come to think of it, you kinda remind me of a Jigglypuff.
EMPEROR SLOTH is FURIOUS!
Awww... Jiggly's so cute when it's angry.
JIGGLYPUFF... er... EMPEROR SLOTH wants to fight!
I'll fight you myself then!
Go!  RED WARRIOR!
EMPEROR SLOTH sent out Mini-Sloth!
That's pathetic.  I'll just step on it.
RED WARRIOR used STEP!
RED WARRIOR slipped on SLOTHSLIME!
RED WARRIOR falls and considers giving in to EMPEROR SLOTH's supreme power!
I think the narration's biased against me...
Enemy Mini-Sloth used SUFFOCATE!
Enemy Mini-Sloth latches onto RED WARRIOR'S face!
RED WARRIOR needs air, badly!
Mmmmmphh!!  Mmmmfhgglhhhh!!!
RED WARRIOR, it's your turn!
Mmmbbllllppppghhhh!!
RED WARRIOR, what move do you wish to make?
Mmmmmpppmmmgh!!!!!!!!!!!!
RED WARRIOR missed his turn!
EMPEROR SLOTH withdrew Mini-Sloth!
*gasp* air!
EMPEROR SLOTH sent out EMPEROR SLOTH!
Ugh... I feel so... oxygen-deprived... must keep fighting....
EMPEROR SLOTH used Poké Ball!
Uh oh...
Press A rapidly to free yourself!
Oh no!!  This is what happened to that Larry guy!
A A A A A A A A A A A A!!
You didn't press A!
I SAID A!!  Isn't that the same thing!?
You were caught!
Nooooooooooo.....
So umm... now what?
Now you must serve and obey EMPEROR SLOTH!
Well that stinks... badly.
LSLOTH just sits there!

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Red Version Tournaments
Battles #1-5  The Classics
April 14, 1999 - May 12, 1999
Battles #6-10  The Evolution Chronicles
May 19, 1999 - June 16, 1999
Battles #11-15  The New Trainers
June 23, 1999 - July 21, 1999
Battles #16-20  Ultimate Rivalry
July 28, 1999 - August 25, 1999
Battles #21-25  Trouble Brewing
September 1, 1999 - September 29, 1999
Battles #26-30  Villains and Warriors
October 6, 1999 - November 3, 1999
Battles #31-35  Slothian Takeover
November 10, 1999 - December 8, 1999
Battles #36-40  The Fall of Sloth
December 15, 1999 - January 12, 2000
Battles #41-45  A New Age
January 19, 2000 - February 16, 2000
Battles #46-50  Grip of Death
February 23, 2000 - March 22, 2000
Battles #51-55  Minor Wars
March 29, 2000 - April 26, 2000
Battles #56-60  Doompuff's Rampage
May 3, 2000 - May 31, 2000
Battles #61-65  Crossover Crisis
June 7, 2000 - July 6, 2000
Battles #66-70  Hidden Identities
July 12, 2000 - August 10, 2000
Battles #71-75  Narrator's Breakdown
August 16, 2000 - September 13, 2000
Battles #76-80  Ominous Omens
September 20, 2000 - October 18, 2000
Battles #81-85  Final Adventures
October 25, 2000 - November 22, 2000
Battles #86-90  The Saga Concludes
November 29, 2000 - December 27, 2000
Battles #91-95  A New World
January 3, 2001 - January 31, 2001
Battles #96-100  Good & Evil
February 7, 2001 - March 7, 2001
Battles #101-105  Homecoming
March 14, 2001 - April 14, 2001
Battles #106-110  Rising Tensions
April 22, 2001 - May 23, 2001
Battles #111-115  The Dusk Before
May 31, 2001 - June 24, 2001
Battles #116-120  The Dawn
July 24, 2001 - September 8, 2001
Battles #121-125  Infiltration
October 4, 2001 - October 28, 2001
Battles #126-130  Valkyrie Gambit
October 31, 2001 - December 7, 2001
Battles #131-135  Infinite Justice
December 13, 2001 - February 25, 2002
Battles #136-140  Fair Verona
March 17, 2002 - April 10, 2002
Battles #141-145  Retrocession
April 11, 2002 - April 17, 2002
Battles #146-150  Evil Roots
April 18, 2002 - August 22, 2002
Battles #151-155  Nightmares
October 31, 2002 - October 31, 2003