Poké Battles #21-25: Trouble Brewing
The seemingly random events of the earlier Poké Battles all seemed to weave themselves together for battles #20-22.  Nearly all of the most popular trainers came together and fought each other until battle #22.  Things quieted down with battles #23-25, in which the veteran trainers stepped aside to make way for a whole slew of new characters.  The Red Warrior, Blue Wizard, Lord Sloth, Emperor Sloth, and Larry are all trainers who you can expect to see frequently in future Red Version battles.  A new storyline is already being woven into the existing Poké Battles universe.  With all these new characters, and with the introduction of a truly evil villain named Emperor Sloth, we can certainly be sure of one thing:  Trouble is brewing.

Trouble Brewing
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue

Battle #21: Triumph  September 1, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: James from Team Rocket  [Record: 4-3-0]  Last Battle: Win vs. Cashier (Battle #20)

CASHIER played the Poké Flute!
You woke up!
Ugh... it looks like a graveyard around here.
JESSIE woke up!
POKé MAN woke up!
SUPERVILLAIN woke up!
Ah... that's much better.
JESSIE ran away!
Traitor!
POKé MAN insists that you give yourself up!
I don't think I'm going to be doing that.
POKé MAN wants to fight!
I think Jigglypuff put everyone's Pokémon to sleep...
Enemy POKé MAN sent out POKé MAN!
Ha! I'm not afraid of you!
Are you going to use your so-called super powers on me?
Go! JAMES!
I'm going, I'm going!
I learn to hate that narration more every battle...
Enemy POKé MAN used HEAT VISION!
Enemy POKé MAN can see your heat!
Okay... that's kind of intimidating but it's no match for this!!
JAMES used THIS!
THIS is battle #21!
Huh? Does everything I say have to be taken literally??
Enemy POKé MAN used X-Ray vision!
Enemy POKé MAN can see through your clothing!
Oh, that is just... sick!
Enemy POKé MAN fainted!
Hmph. Well it's his own fault.
SUPERVILLAIN wants to fight!
Do you think you could explain to me why you're allied with a superhero?
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN says he and POKé MAN are old friends!
Huh? Since when?
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN says since August 11th!
But that's just a few weeks!
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN says that's long enough!
C'mon... why don't you join the dark side... er... Team Rocket?
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN is thinking about it!
Just think... with the power of Team Rocket behind you, you could do anything!
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN is fearful of POKé MAN's power!
Do you want him to control your life forever?
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN says no!
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN has decided to join TEAM ROCKET!
Welcome aboard, Villy!
SUPERVILLAIN says not to call him that!
Alright alright... say, while we're here, why don't we rob this Poké Mart?
CASHIER screams for help!
Ha ha... nothing can save you now....
JAMES robbed the Poké Mart!
SUPERVILLAIN robbed the Poké Mart!
Mwa ha ha... with Supervillain on our side, Team Rocket will be invincible!
TEAM ROCKET is invincible!

Battle #22: A Bitter Struggle  September 8, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Da Evolution Man  [Record: 4-2-1]  Last Battle: Draw vs. Poké Man (Battle #19)

Ha!  I can't help but laugh at the way Poké Man was defeated by James!
EVOLUMAN is LAUGHING!
Of course, I would've liked it better if I could've defeated him myself.
Someone is coming toward you!
Huh?  That's an ominous sign...
JAMES appeared!
Appeared?  All he did was sneak in while that puff of smoke went off.
JAMES says to hand over all your money!
Ha!  Just because you're from Team Rocket doesn't mean you can boss me around!
JESSIE appeared!
Oh, so you think that since there are two of you, I'm going to give up?
SUPERVILLAIN appeared!
Huh?  Wasn't that guy Poké Man's ally?
JAMES SAYS that SUPERVILLAIN JOINED TEAM ROCKET!
Easy on the caps lock there, narrator...
JAMES wants to fight!
JESSIE wants to fight!
SUPERVILLAIN wants to fight!
Get'm Pikachu!
...
Huh??  Where's Pikachu now?
PIKACHU went on VACATION!
It's still on vacation??  It's been three weeks!
Though it would explain why the second tournament hasn't happened yet...
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN used BASH!
Enemy SUPERVILLAIN bashed your skull into tiny fragments!
I think that's a gross exaggeration.
EVOLUMAN is dead!
Don't even START with that lame inaccurate narration!
JAMES buries EVOLUMAN's body!
Team Rocket's running this web site, I just know it.
TEAM ROCKET is not running WEB SITE!
Well then LET ME FIGHT THE STUPID BATTLE!!
EVOLUMAN came back to life!
Thank you.
EVOLUMAN is SUFFOCATING from DIRT!
What??  I'm still underground?
Good thing I have this Dig HM.
EVOLUMAN used DIG!
EVOLUMAN dug himself deeper!
No, no!  Dig up!!
EVOLUMAN dug himself deeper!
Hmm... maybe digging up doesn't work.  How about this Fly HM?
EVOLUMAN flew back onto the ground!
JAMES is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
Yeah... I know how painful confusion can be.
JAMES is afraid of ghosts!
Huh?  He thinks I'm a ghost just because I was killed and buried and now I resurfaced?
JAMES ran away!
Hey, this could work to my advantage...
BOO!!
JESSIE ran away!
Now all that's left is-
SUPERVILLAIN used CRUSH!
Uh oh...
SUPERVILLAIN CRUSHED EVOLUMAN!
I don't stand a chance against this guy... unless...
That's it!  I'll throw a stone at him!  Just like David and Goliath.
SUPERVILLAIN is about to use a MOVE!
Uhh... thanks for the warning.
Hmm... how about a Water Stone?
EVOLUMAN used WATER STONE!
What? SUPERVILLAIN is evolving!
Oh no... what have I done?
SUPERVILLAIN evolved into WATERVILLAIN!
What the- he's turning into water!
WATERVILLAIN is flowing!
Ha!  You're nothing more than a puddle, now!
STORM DRAIN used DRAIN!
Enemy WATERVILLAIN was DRAINED!
Enemy WATERVILLAIN fainted!
Ha!  Wait'll Poké Man hears what I did to his former ally!
Soon, Poké Man... soon I will defeat you as well!

Battle #23: The Battle that Wasn't 
September 15, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Lord Sloth  [No Record]

Ha ha!  Do you know who I am?
You are LSLOTH!
LSLOTH??  It's LORD SLOTH!!
LORD SLOTH is too LONG!
It is not!  That's only 10 characters!
...
Well that's cheap.
A trainer is approaching!
Is that so?  Probably another bounty hunter trying to kill me.
EMPEROR SLOTH appeared!
Hey!  How come he gets a longer name than I do??
EMPEROR SLOTH says that you owe him money!
Don't start telling me I owe you that Ą stuff... I only have U.S. money!
EMPEROR SLOTH wants to fight!
I don't really care.  I don't want to battle you.
EMPEROR SLOTH is SHOCKED and CHAGRINED!
Really?  Did he lose HP from that?
EMPEROR SLOTH wants to know why you're not fighting!
I'm a sloth.  When was the last time you saw a sloth in a battle?
EMPEROR SLOTH says he fights in battles all the time!
Well I'm not fighting you.
EMPEROR SLOTH says you have to!
Why?
EMPEROR SLOTH says there has to be a battle!
Once again I must ask why.
EMPEROR SLOTH says there is one every week!
You're not answering my question.
EMPEROR SLOTH is angry!
EMPEROR SLOTH wants to fight!
Well I don't.
EMPEROR SLOTH is frustrated!
Just give up and leave me alone.
EMPEROR SLOTH says if you don't fight him, he'll hurt you!
How?  If I don't agree to fight you, there's no way for you to attack.
Sorry, but it looks to me as if there's a loophole to this 'Poké Battles' concept.
EMPEROR SLOTH says he will report you to the Webmaster!
See if I care.
EMPEROR SLOTH used REPORT!
LSLOTH was REPORTED!
Yeah, that did a lot of good.
WEBMASTER appeared!
I'm not afraid of you!
WEBMASTER took control of LSLOTH!
Huh?  What're you doing?
EMPEROR SLOTH wants to fight!
EMPEROR SLOTH sent out EMPEROR SLOTH!
Go!  LSLOTH!
Huh?  But I don't want to battle!
Enemy EMPEROR SLOTH used SLUDGE!
Critical hit!
OW... this isn't fair!
LSLOTH used SLUDGE!
OWWWW!!  Why is the webmaster forcing me to attack myself???
WEBMASTER laughs maniacally!
Enemy EMPEROR SLOTH used SLUDGE!
Well, that's the end of me....
BUT I'LL BE BACK!!
LSLOTH fainted!
EMPEROR SLOTH wins!

Battle #24: Gauntlet Legends  September 22, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Red Warrior  [No Record]

Alright everyone, gather 'round!
BLUE WIZARD appeared!
Are you the only one here?
BLUE WIZARD says the Valkyrie and Archer are busy saving the world!
So am I!  I guess we'll have to do this ourselves.
BLUE WIZARD wants to know what you're going to do!
Well, I hear Lord Sloth is on the rampage again.
It's up to us to stop him.
BLUE WIZARD wants to eat food first!
Ugh... that's all you ever do!
No more food for you!
RED WARRIOR shot the FOOD!
BLUE WIZARD is angry!
I'm sorry but you don't need food right now.
BLUE WIZARD needs FOOD!
Oh... sorry about that then.
BLUE WIZARD wants to fight!
We don't have time to fight amongst ourselves!
We have a Sloth to defeat!
BLUE WIZARD sent out BLUE WIZARD!
Well I guess I have no choice...
Go!  RED WARRIOR!
I'm sorry, but I have to teach you a lesson!
RED WARRIOR shot the BLUE WIZARD!
Alright, now we're even.  How about we-
Enemy BLUE WIZARD used MAGIC!
Aaaaah!!
RED WARRIOR needs FOOD!
YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!
RED WARRIOR shot the BLUE WIZARD!
Enemy BLUE WIZARD needs FOOD, badly!
Take that you magic-using freak!
BLUE WIZARD withdrew BLUE WIZARD!
Giving up, I see?
BLUE WIZARD sent out DEATH!
AAAH!!  You've been carrying Death with you all this time??
Enemy DEATH used LIFEDRAIN!
RED WARRIOR needs food, badly!
Noooo.....
Use MAGIC to kill DEATH!
Huh?  I'm a WARRIOR!!  I don't have any magic!!
Enemy DEATH's attack continues!
RED WARRIOR is about to die!
*gasp* light fading... getting... sleepy...
DEATH leaves after stealing 100 health!
DEATH left!
You idiot!  You nearly got me killed!
BLUE WIZARD says it's your own fault!
Well, we'll never defeat Lord Sloth in our condition!
BLUE WIZARD says that was his objective!
You work for that slothful sloth don't you.
BLUE WIZARD ran away!
TRAITOR!!
I don't know which game I hate more... Gauntlet or Pokémon.
Ugh, if only I really existed.


Battle #25: Gotta Catch a Few  September 29, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Larry  [No Record]

It's finally time to start my Pokémon catching career.
Hmm... but how do I get started?  I don't have any Pokémon.
Wild RATATTA appeared!
Ratatta?  Woah... I bet that's a rare one!
What's the Pokédex say about it?
This horribly lame Pokémon is only useful for beginners.
Well I'm a beginner!
RATATTA is waiting expectantly!
Um... what do I do?
Send out a Pokémon!
Can't I fight it myself?
Go!  LARRY!
...I guess I can.
RATTATA sits down and waits to be caught!
Okay... I guess I'll throw a rock at it.
LARRY used ROCK!
RATTATA is injured!
Sorry Ratatta.  Prepare to be caught.
LARRY used POKé BALL!
It was caught!
YES!
The POKé BALL was caught by the RATATTA!
Oh...
RATATTA sat on POKé BALL!
But that's the only Poké Ball I've got!
Get off of my Poké Ball!!!
LARRY used ROCK!
RATATTA is injured badly!
Hmph.  Well, I had to do it.
RATATTA is angry!
I didn't have a choice!
RATATTA used POKé BALL!
Aaaahh!!!
Press A rapidly to free yourself!
A?  What's A?
It's next to B!
HELP!  I'm trapped in a Poké Ball with a psycho narrator!!
LARRY was caught!
Would you like to give a nickname to LARRY?
DON'T YOU DARE...
LARRY was nicknamed POWDER-PUFF!
Not only does that exceed the character limit but it's HUMILIATING!
RATATTA says he didn't have a choice!
Caught and renamed by a Ratatta... I'll never live through the shame.
POWDER-PUFF is SHAMED!
*sob* …

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Battle Archives


Red Version Tournaments
Battles #1-5 
The Classics
April 14, 1999 - May 12, 1999
Battles #6-10  The Evolution Chronicles
May 19, 1999 - June 16, 1999
Battles #11-15  The New Trainers
June 23, 1999 - July 21, 1999
Battles #16-20  Ultimate Rivalry
July 28, 1999 - August 25, 1999
Battles #21-25  Trouble Brewing
September 1, 1999 - September 29, 1999
Battles #26-30  Villains and Warriors
October 6, 1999 - November 3, 1999
Battles #31-35  Slothian Takeover
November 10, 1999 - December 8, 1999
Battles #36-40  The Fall of Sloth
December 15, 1999 - January 12, 2000
Battles #41-45  A New Age
January 19, 2000 - February 16, 2000
Battles #46-50  Grip of Death
February 23, 2000 - March 22, 2000
Battles #51-55  Minor Wars
March 29, 2000 - April 26, 2000
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May 3, 2000 - May 31, 2000
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October 25, 2000 - November 22, 2000
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Battles #91-95  A New World
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Battles #101-105  Homecoming
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Battles #106-110  Rising Tensions
April 22, 2001 - May 23, 2001
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May 31, 2001 - June 24, 2001
Battles #116-120  The Dawn
July 24, 2001 - September 8, 2001
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October 4, 2001 - October 28, 2001
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October 31, 2001 - December 7, 2001
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December 13, 2001 - February 25, 2002
Battles #136-140  Fair Verona
March 17, 2002 - April 10, 2002
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April 11, 2002 - April 17, 2002
Battles #146-150  Evil Roots
April 18, 2002 - August 22, 2002
Battles #151-155  Nightmares
October 31, 2002 - October 31, 2003

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