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The Classics
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle #1: The Attack of the Missing No.
April 14, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Butch Urrh from Tristram [No Record]
Wild MISSING NO. appeared!
Urrh! Now I can finally catch a Missing No.!
Go! YOURGAMEFILE!
Strange... I didn't know I even had that Pokémon....
YOURGAMEFILE! Use your SAVE attack!
YOURGAMEFILE used SAVE!
Butch saved the game!
What kind of a butched attack was that??
MISSING NO. used LEVELUP
MISSING NO. grew to Level 895!
I HAVE to have that Pokémon!
Go! Master Ball!
Butch used MASTER BALL on MISSING NO.!
Aww.... it appeared to be caught....
WHAT THE URRH DOES THAT MEAN??
MISSING NO. used GLITCH on YOURGAMEFILE!
Uh oh....
It's super effective!
YOURGAMEFILE became glitched solid!
Um....
MISSING NO. used LEVELUP
MISSING NO. grew to Level 900!
Okay, so now I'll just-
MISSING NO. used LEVELUP
MISSING NO. grew to Level 915!
What the hey?
YOURGAMEFILE is confused!
Since when??
YOURGAMEFILE deleted BILL'S PC in its confusion!
THE WHOLE THING?? All my Pokémon... gone???
MISSING NO. used LEVELUP
MISSING NO. grew to Level 940!
That does it, I'm turning the Game Boy off....
MISSING NO. used LEVELUP
MISSING NO. grew to Level 981!
Strange... the power button is stuck...
MISSING NO. used LEVELUP
SHUT UP!! URRH!!!!! WHY WON'T THE POWER BUTTON MOVE????
MISSING NO. doesn't like you.
Wha?
MISSING NO. knows where you live.
Er...
MISSING NO. is coming to get you.
Hey, c'mon, it's just a game.
MISSING NO. has arrived at your house.
Hey, hold on, someone's at the door...
....URRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Butch fainted. Use next Pokémon?
>> View/Post Comments & History on Battle #1
Battle #2: Modem Showdown April 21, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Bob "That Guy" Smith [No Record]
Ahhh, time for a nice day of relaxation at home. I'll just fire up the 'ol computer...
BOB turned on the PC!
...and sign on to the Internet.
AOL wants to fight!
This can't be good.
AOL sent out BUSYSIGNAL!
Go! MODEM!
C'mon, c'mon....
Enemy BUSYSIGNAL used DISCONNECT on MODEM
MODEM is fully disconnected!
Modem! Use your REDIAL attack!!
MODEM used REDIAL
It's super-effective!
Hah!
Enemy BUSYSIGNAL used DISCONNECT on MODEM
Enemy BUSYSIGNAL's attack missed!
Yes! MODEM! Finish it with your CONNECT attack!
MODEM used CONNECT
Enemy BUSYSIGNAL fainted!
Woohoo! I'm on the Internet!!
MODEM gained 671 exp. points
MODEM grew to level 28.8!
Ahhh, my speed greatly rose....
AOL sent out ADVERTISEMENT
Oh no!!
Enemy ADVERTISEMENT used ADVERTISE on Bob!
Must.... buy.... product.....
No!! I must fight back!! MODEM! Return!
BOB withdrew MODEM
MOUSE! I choose you!
Get'm, MOUSE!
Enemy ADVERTISEMENT used ADVERTISE on Bob!
Yaaaarrrgh!! Only.... $29.95.... must..... type in credit card number!
Can't.... give up! MOUSE, hit it with your NOTHANKS attack!
MOUSE used NOTHANKS on enemy ADVERTISEMENT
Okay MOUSE, now finish it off with your DOUBLEKICK... er... DOUBLECLICK attack!
Enemy ADVERTISEMENT used ADVERTISE on Bob!
...hey, this product is guaranteed to be "non-defective"!
MOUSE used DOUBLECLICK on enemy ADVERTISEMENT
What? The advertisement lives? Hmmmm. Go! Poké Ball!
BOB used Poké Ball!
The trainer blocked the ball!
AOL is angry!
Uh oh. MOUSE, return!
BOB withdrew MOUSE
Go! MODEM!
Do it! MODEM!
AOL's RAGE is building
MODEM! Use your DISCONNECT attack!
MODEM used DISCONNECT!
BOB ran away.
.........
.........
So now what do I do?
.........hmmm, 29.95 was a decent price........
...I guess I have no choice...
BOB got on the BICYCLE!
Dum de dum de dum.... ah, here's the place.
Hi there! May I help you?
Um, yes, I'd like to purchase this...
Take your time.
I don't need any time, I want to buy this.
Pokémon game? That will be Ľ2995. OK?
Um... do I have to pay you in Ľ? Oh forget it, just give me the game!
You can't carry any more items.
Yes I can! I'm taking this game whether you like it or not!!
CASHIER wants to fight!
Battle #3: Conflict at the Poké Mart April 28, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Bob "That Guy" Smith [Record: 0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. AOL (Battle #2)
CASHIER wants to fight!
Geez, all I wanted to do was buy something.
CASHIER sent out WEEDLE.
Heh heh. Level 5? Time for a little overkill....
Go! MEWTWO!
Ha ha! I'll bet you didn't expect to fight a level 88 Mewtwo!
Mewtwo! Hit it with your SWIFT attack!
MEWTWO used SWIFT
MEWTWO's attack missed!
Huh? Grrrrr....
Enemy WEEDLE used WEED
WEEDLE is a WEED!
That.... is the scariest move I've ever seen.
Um.... Mewtwo, use Psychic.
MEWTWO used PSYCHIC!
Call 1-800-PSYCHIC for your FREE psychic reading!
What the-??
Hey.... did you say free?
Enemy WEEDLE used GROW
WEEDLE seems bigger!
(1, 8, 0, 0, P, S, Y, C, H, I, C.... hello?)
Yes, I'm calling for my free psychic reading.
It is now BOB's turn!
....uh huh.... uh huh.... wow! That is the phone number I just dialed! How did you know?
BOB?
....interesting.... really.... so you're saying something horribly evil will happen to me soon....
BOB missed his turn!
Missed my turn?? Awwww.....
Enemy WEEDLE used KILL
MEWTWO died. Use next Pokémon?
WHAT???????
FOR THIS AND MORE YOU SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF BOB!!!
DITTO! I leave it up to you!
Go! DITTO!
Alright DITTO, use your TRANSFORM attack!
DITTO transformed into WEEDLE!
Enemy WEEDLE used KILL
It didn't affect DITTO!
Hah! Of course it didn't! And at level 65, you don't stand a chance!
DITTO, hit it with your POISON STING attack!
DITTO used POISON STING
It's not very effective....
Enemy WEEDLE fainted!
Mwa ha ha! It's over. Give it up.
DITTO gained 32 exp.
BOB defeated CASHIER!
...cost me a perfectly good Mewtwo... didn't know Pokémon could die!
CASHIER: You win! You can have whatever you want!
Good. Give me the Pokémon game.
CASHIER: You win! You can have whatever you want!
I told you, I want that Pokémon game!
CASHIER: You win! You can have whatever you want!
Why do you say the same thing every time I try to talk to you??
CASHIER: You win! You can have whatever you want!
Fine. I'm stealing the game for myself. Yoink!
BOB ran away.
CASHIER: Vwa ha ha.... someday I shall have my revenge.....
CASHIER: ...but not next week. I'm getting sick of Bob.
Battle #4: Rebellious Pikachu May 5, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Da Evolution Man [No Record]
Well Pikachu, you're level 68 now.
PIKACHU nods in agreement!
You want to be nice and strong now, don't you?
PIKACHU isn't so sure!
Don't you want to be as strong as I, Da Evolution Man?
PIKACHU says NO!
Look Pikachu.... a nice shiny Thunder Stone....
PIKACHU is cowering in terror!
Don't you want to be a Raichu?
PIKACHU shakes its head vigorously!
Well I'm afraid you have no choice. If you refuse to cooperate I'll just throw the Thunder Stone at you. I have a pretty good arm.
PIKACHU thinks your arm is messed up!
Well I don't care what you think of my arm! You're evolving, and you're evolving now!
PIKACHU wants to challenge you!
....really? You want to battle?
PIKACHU says that if it can beat you, then it is strong enough and doesn't have to evolve.
Well, I've never backed down from a fight...
Alright! Let's go!
PIKACHU wants to fight!
Let's see how long you can last....
PIKACHU sent out PIKACHU!
Well, OBVIOUSLY!
Go for it, GENGAR!
Enemy PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK!
C'mon GENGAR! Fight back with your HYPNOSIS attack!
GENGAR used HYPNOSIS!
It didn't affect enemy PIKACHU!
Just my luck...
Enemy PIKACHU used THUNDER!
Hang in there GENGAR.... use NIGHT SHADE!
GENGAR used NIGHT SHADE!
GENGAR fainted!
I meant use NIGHT SHADE on the Pikachu, not on yourself!!!
Use next Pokémon?
Of course I want to use my next Pokémon! What else would I do?????
Looks like you're up, RATTATA.
RATTATA joined PIKACHU!
Huh?
PIKACHU withdrew PIKACHU
PIKACHU sent out RATTATA!
This is the dumbest battle ever!
STOP! END THE FIGHT!!
EVOLUMAN ran away!
Hey! I didn't run away, I just ended the battle.
Alright Pikachu, you don't have to evolve if you don't want to....
PIKACHU is happy!
HA HA!! EAT THIS!!!
EVOLUMAN used THUNDER STONE!
PIKACHU is scared!!
THUNDER STONE's attack missed!
THUNDER STONE kept going and crashed!
....into the RATTATA!
Oh, GREAT. You stupid Pikachu...
What? RATTATA's evolving!
! ! !
I didn't know Rattata could evolve from a Thunder Stone.....
Hey... this could be interesting....
RATTATA evolved into MISSING NO.!
....oh NO!!!!
MISSING NO. is looking at EVOLUMAN!
NO!!! STAY AWAY!!!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!
MISSING NO. used DELETE on EVOLUMAN!
It's super effective!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
EVOLUMAN is fully deleted!
PIKACHU is happy!
....
....
MISSING NO. is looking at PIKACHU......
Battle #5: Rebel Ambush May 12, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Luke Skywalker [No Record]
Hey you!
DARTH VADER turns and looks at you!
Yeah, you with the helmet!
DARTH VADER looks evil!
C'mon, Darthy. I can kill you any day!
DARTH VADER wants to fight!
Heh heh, I've got a light saber and you-
DARTH VADER sent out LIGHT SABER!
-don't. Oh.
Go! LIGHT SABER!
Enemy LIGHT SABER used QUICK ATTACK!
LIGHT SABER fainted!
Hey! I didn't even get a chance to fight back!
Looks like he's yours, R2-D2!
Get'm, R2-D2!
Okay, R2-D2! Use your DEATHRAY attack!
R2-D2 is loafing around!
R2-D2 used BEEP!
It didn't affect enemy LIGHT SABER!
Ergh! Do you want to die, R2??
LIGHT SABER used SLASH!
It's not very effective...
It's about time I had some luck. Come back, R2-D2!
R2-D2! Enough!
Your turn, C-3PO!
Go! C-3PO!
C-3PO instantly died a horrible, horrible death!
C-3PO fainted. Use next Pokémon?
Alright Darth, you wanna play tough?
Go! LUKE!
Then we'll play tough!
DARTH VADER withdrew LIGHT SABER
DARTH VADER sent out DARTH VADER
I see you are not such a coward after all.
LUKE used THE FORCE on DARTH VADER
Critical hit!
It's not very effective...
Didn't your mother ever tell you not to mess with a JEDI?
DARTH VADER is your father!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
It's super effective!
It...... can't..... be....... thought..... it was.... coincidence that.... my real last name.... is also.... Vader.....
DARTH VADER is your father!
It's super effective!
ARRRRGH!!!
LUKE fainted. Use next Pokémon?
Go! R2-D2!
DARTH VADER is surprised!
DARTH VADER uses JOIN DARK SIDE on R2-D2!
R2-D2 is loafing around
R2-D2 used DEATHRAY!
DARTH VADER fainted
R2-D2 is hit with recoil!
R2-D2 fainted
....
....
To be continued.
>> Next Five Battles
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