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The New Trainers
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle #11: The Seven Seas June 23, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Captain Pete [No Record]
Arr, matey, I sight land on the horizon!
Arr, who's that over there?
PIRATE wants to fight!
Well shiver me timbers!
PETE used SHIVER!
TIMBERS are fully SHIVERED!
Arr...
PIRATE sent out SWORD!
A good 'ol swordfight eh?
A swordfight it is then! Arr...
Go! SWORD!
Alrighty then, sword, attack!
SWORD used SLASH!
It's not very effective...
Arr...
Enemy SWORD used SLASH!
It's super-effective!
A cheater ye be! I'll have none of it!
My sword I sheath!
...
Sheath I say! Sheath!
...
Arr...
Uhh... return Sword?
SWORD! Enough!
Blasted newfangled words...
Be you my opponent now arr...
...
*sigh*
er.... go... me?
Go! PETE!
Let the swashbuckling begin, Matey!
PIRATE withdrew SWORD!
Arr, ye'll fight me yourself now, eh?
PIRATE sent out MATEY!
Arr, that matey be mine...
Enemy MATEY used SWASHBUCKLE!
It's not very effective...
Arr, I be the master of swashbuckling, didn't ye know?
PETE used SWASHBUCKLE!
Critical hit!
Enemy MATEY fainted!
I be sorry for that, Matey.
PIRATE sent out PIRATE!
It be about time ye shed yer cowardice.
Enemy PIRATE used JUMP!
PIRATE JUMPED!
Arr, that be the dumbest move I ever seen.
PETE used LUNGE!
PETE LUNGED at PIRATE!
Arr! Ye be walkin' the plank now!
Enemy PIRATE used PUNCH!
Arr, ye cause pain ye little urchin!
PETE used KICK!
It's super-effective!
Arr... what ye be doin' now?
PIRATE used JUMP!
PIRATE JUMPED...
...OVERBOARD!
Huh? A stupid lad he be...
A dead lad he be now.
PIRATE fainted!
Arr...
Battle #12: Checkmate! June 30, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Garry Kasparov [No Record]
So what's this rumor I hear of someone challenging me at chess?
CHESSBOARD wants to fight!
You've got to be kidding me.
CHESSBOARD sent out KNIGHT!
Well, this should be interesting.
I'll move my pawn up...
Go! PAWN!
"Go Pawn"?? What's with all the freaky narration anyway?
I feel like I'm playing some kind of weird video game.
Enemy KNIGHT used POUND!
PAWN fainted!
Hey! That was NOT a legal move!
Use next Pokémon?
Pokémon? I thought this was chess!
uhh... I guess I'll move my knight...
Get'm, KNIGHT!
Enemy KNIGHT used POUND!
...weird... okay, my knight still seems to be alive.
I'll move up a pawn to protect it.
KNIGHT! Enough!
Go! PAWN!
What?? I can't have two pieces out at once???
Enemy KNIGHT used POUND!
PAWN fainted!
This is the dumbest game of chess I've ever played.
Use next Pokémon?
Hmmm... okay, I'll play this your way...
um... Knight, go or something.
Go! KNIGHT!
Okay... use "pound" on the other knight...
KNIGHT used POUND!
Critical hit!
Enemy KNIGHT fainted!
Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this.
CHESSBOARD sent out QUEEN!
...once again an illegal move...
Enemy QUEEN used SMASH!
Smash?
Smash! As in Smash Bros.!
What in blazes are you talking about??
Gotta catch 'em all!
Are we speaking different languages here?
Ya, ichnerstay.
KNIGHT fainted!
Okay, if you're going to cheat, then I'll cheat too.
I'm moving my queen to the center of the board.
Go! QUEEN!
Now I will "Smash" my opponent's queen.
QUEEN used SMASH!
...the other queen lives...
Enemy QUEEN used SMASH!
...and yet my queen lives as well...
Okay, I will "Smash" the other queen again.
QUEEN used SMASH!
Enemy QUEEN fainted!
This is a VERY lame way to play chess, by the way.
CHESSBOARD sent out KING!
...checkmate.
Enemy KING used CHECK!
Enemy KING is CHECKING OUT your QUEEN!
Keep your grubby paws off of her...
Or else I will tell her to "smash" you.
QUEEN used SMASH!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
Looks like she did it on her own.
Enemy KING died a horrible, horrible agonizingly painful death!
I didn't know that chess was so violent.
...AND SINCE WHEN DO CHESS PIECES BLEED????
KASPAROV wins!
Good. I'm getting out of here, and I'm never coming back!
Battle #13: Chrono Trigger July 7, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Crono [No Record]
Well, I suppose I should be doing battle with Lavos right about now.
LAVOS wants to fight!
Ha ha, feel the wrath of my lightning!
CRONO used LIGHTNING!
It's not very effective...
Uh oh...
LAVOS used CRUSH!
CRONO was CRUSHED!
Hey, that wasn't so bad...
LAVOS' attack continues!
NO!
LAVOS used CRUSH!
CRONO was CRUSHED again!
Okay, well now I'll counterattack with my-
LAVOS' attack continues!
This is cheap!
LAVOS used CRUSH!
CRONO was CRUSHED mercilessly!
Ow. Can I PLEASE counterattack now?
...
Good. I'll use my Slash attack.
CRONO used SLASH!
It's not very effective...
So what IS effective??
LAVOS begins to glow!
Maybe the Pokédex has some help for me...
This insane Pokémon is impossible to defeat.
...oh.
LAVOS used ANNIHILATE!
CRONO is fully ANNIHILATED!
OUCH! THAT REALLY, REALLY HURT!
Alright, then I must ask the aid of my friends...
Marle, go!
Get'm, MARLE!
Okay Marle, first use your Aura technique!
MARLE used AURA!
LAVOS recovered HP!
I meant to use it on me!!
LAVOS used CRUSH!
MARLE was CRUSHED!
At least it wasn't me.
MARLE fainted!
Uhh, okay. How about you, Lucca?
Go! LUCCA!
Use your gun, Lucca!
LUCCA is loafing around!
LUCCA used MEGAFLARE!
It's super effective!
...that'll work I guess.
LAVOS used CRUSH!
LUCCA was CRUSHED!
LUCCA fainted!
I guess I have no choice...
Poké Ball, go!
CRONO used POKÉ BALL!
LAVOS was caught!
...woah.
Do you want to give LAVOS a nickname?
No.
LAVOS' new name is No.!
NO! I DON'T WANT A NICKNAME!
If you change name, it will become missing. Is that okay?
FINE! Just change the name back!
LAVOS was nicknamed MISSING NO.!
No! That's too scary! I want its nickname to be Lavos!
Renaming your Pokémon could cause death to your Pokémon. Is that okay?
I'll take that risk.
LAVOS has DIED!
Hah! I tricked you into killing Lavos! HAHAHAHAHA!
...hey, wait a minute....
MWA HA HA HA! MAGUS, YOU'RE NEXT!
Battle #14: Return of the Cashier July 14, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Bob "That Guy" Smith [Record: 2-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Pikachu (Tournament #1)
BOB is angry!
Of course I am! That stupid cashier caused me to lose the tournament!
CASHIER says she had nothing to do with you losing!
Oh yeah? Well BOB wants to fight!
....
How come I can't start a fight?
Why does the OTHER person have to start it every time???
CASHIER wants to fight!
See? That's exactly what I'm talking about!
CASHIER sent out Pokémon!
Which one?
All of them!
That's impossible!
I'll use my Ditto.
Go! DITTO!
Alright Ditto, transform!
DITTO used TRANSFORM!
DITTO TRANSFORMED into Pokémon!
Which one?
PIDGEY!
ugh...
Enemy Pokémon used EVERYTHING!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
It's not very effective...
It's not very effective...
WHAT'S GOING ON???
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
DITTO fainted!
This is impossible...
It's not very effective...
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Hey! It already fainted, what more do you want?
DITTO died!
WHAT?????????
First you killed my Mewtwo... now my Ditto?
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
Stop it! Do you even know the meaning of overkill?
Critical hit!
IT'S DEAD ALREADY!! STOP!!!
CASHIER demands that you surrender!
....I guess I have no choice.
BOB ran away!
Hey! That's not true!
CASHIER demands that you return the game you stole!
No! Not my Pokémon game! I have 390 hours on it already!
CASHIER is coming to take it from you!
Well then it looks like BOB is going to run away!
BOB ran away!
Battle #15: Geodude Rampage July 21, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: James from Team Rocket [Record: 1-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Da Evolution Man (Battle #9)
Maybe I would've gotten into the tournament if I had better Pokémon...
JAMES is a bad trainer!
Hey... that cave looks promising... I'll go over there.
A wild GEODUDE appeared!
Yes! Another Pokémon to add to my collection!
Get 'im, Koffing!
Go! KOFFING!
Okay, now koff on it!
KOFFING used KOFF!
It doesn't affect enemy GEODUDE!
Uh oh....
GEODUDE used SELF-DESTRUCT!
AAAAAAHHHH!! HIT THE DECKS!!
KOFFING fainted!
GEODUDE fainted!
Woohoo! If it fainted, it should be easy to catch!
Poké Ball, go!
OAK: JAMES! This is not the time to use that!
What're you talking about? There's a fainted Pokémon RIGHT THERE!
OAK: JAMES! This is not the time to use that!
But this is the PERFECT time to catch it!
OAK: JAMES! This is not the time to use that!
This isn't fair I say!!
A wild GEODUDE appeared!
Another one? But Koffing has fainted...
The only other Pokémon I have is this de-evolved form of Jigglypuff...
*sigh* I guess I have no choice...
Go! ZIGGLYGUFF!
Okay Ziggly, attack!
ZIGGLYGUFF used POUND!
Critical hit!
Good job, Ziggly!
Enemy GEODUDE used ROCK THROW!
Hang in there, Ziggly!
Put it to sleep!
ZIGGLYGUFF used SING!
Enemy GEODUDE fell asleep!
Poké Ball, go!
OAK: JAMES! This is not the time to use that!
I don't care what you say, Oak!
I'M CATCHING THIS GEODUDE!!
JAMES used Poké Ball!
GEODUDE was caught!
Ha ha! I caught a Geodude!
What? ZIGGLYGUFF is evolving!
YES!
ZIGGLYGUFF evolved into JIGGLYPUFF!
Ha ha! Team Rocket is back and better than ever!
KOFFING is KOFFING!
Quit koffing you stupid koffing.
OAK: You disobeyed me!
Who do you think you are, Oak?
I can use Poké Balls whenever I want.
OAK: It's against the rules!
Yeah, well Team Rocket doesn't need any rules.
OAK: Everyone needs rules! Without rules, what would you have?
A Geodude.
OAK wants to fight!
Uh oh…
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