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The Evolution Chronicles
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle #6: Darth Vader's Revenge May 19, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Luke Skywalker [Record: 0-0-1] Last Battle: Draw vs. Darth Vader (Battle #5)
DARTH VADER woke up!
DARTH VADER played the Poké Flute!
LUKE woke up!
Ugh.... where am I?
DARTH VADER says to join the dark side!
What else is new?
DARTH VADER is also your father!
Don't remind me....too traumatic....
DARTH VADER says join the dark side or else!
Um.... no..... too dark....
DARTH VADER says to go to your room!
My room?
DARTH VADER says he's taking away your Game Boy!
You can't touch my Game Boy, Daddio.
DARTH VADER doesn't like being called Daddio!
Daddio.
DARTH VADER wants to fight!
What a surprise. Alright then, I'm ready!
DARTH VADER sent out DARTH VADER
Ah, we're doing THIS again, eh?
Go! LUKE!
Looks like I have to teach you a lesson.
DARTH VADER used THE FORCE on LUKE!
LUKE was FORCED to give his GAME BOY to DARTH VADER!
What the-?
DARTH VADER grins!
Not that it makes much difference with that helmet on....
DARTH VADER removes HELMET!
ew!! Put it back on!!!
DARTH VADER puts on HELMET!
DARTH VADER holds GAME BOY over CHASM!
There wasn't a chasm there a second ago.....
DARTH VADER cares not for your ignorance!
DARTH VADER says he will throw GAME BOY into CHASM unless you join the dark side!
No! Anything but that!
DARTH VADER isn't bluffing!
Listen Daddio, I've got 759 hours on that Pokémon cartridge...
DARTH VADER says the batteries have been dead for a long time!
Hey, I still haven't gotten around to picking up those power converters!
It's a long story, actually. You see, my uncle said that I had to-
DARTH VADER says you have 3 seconds to join the dark side!
You wouldn't.... not to your own son....
It's super effective!
Wha?
DARTH VADER is paralyzed! It may not attack!
DARTH VADER drops GAME BOY!
Nooooooooooooooooo!
It flies through the air and lands in your hand!
Okay.... that's physically impossible but....
Woohoo! Now what was it that was super-effective against Darth....?
DARTH VADER is fully paralyzed!
Ah yes, *ahem*
I AM YOUR SON!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!
It's super effective!
DARTH VADER fainted!
LUKE defeated DARTH VADER!
Wait, hold on, I gotta kick him a few times.
LUKE gained 4,505 exp. points!
TAKE THAT, DARTH CORPSE!
LUKE grew to level 57!
Ha ha! Face the wrath of my boot!
What? LUKE is evolving!
I am?
LUKE evolved into DARKLUKE!
What? You mean... I've joined the dark side?
...
Oh well. May as well enjoy being dark.
DARKLUKE kicks DARTH VADER!
Battle #7: Evolution Crisis May 26, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Da Evolution Man [Record: 0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Pikachu (Battle #4)
Heh heh.... I bet that Missing No. thought it had me, but I outsmarted it.
MISSING NO. is confused!
Yep it is, but there's no way to defeat me.... Da Evolution Man!
EVOLUMAN turned on the PC!
Hmmmm.... who should I evolve today?
The PC crashed!
What the-?
This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down!
AAAAARRRRGGHHH!!!
EVOLUMAN used MEGAKICK on the PC!
Take that you piece of junk!
What? The PC is de-evolving!
Um....
The PC de-evolved into MAC!
Oh GREAT!
....In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic.
MAC wants to fight!
What?? But it's got all of my Pokémon in it!
MAC sent out JIGGLYPUFF!
Jigglypuff! I'm your trainer, Da Evolution Man.... remember?
JIGGLYPUFF used JIGGLE!
JIGGLYPUFF is jiggly!
.......that is disturbing.
Get'm, EVOLUMAN!
Hey Jigglypuff, look what I got!
Yeah... a nice Moon Stone....
JIGGLYPUFF used FLOAT!
JIGGLYPUFF is floating through the air!
Hey! What are you doing?
JIGGLYPUFF landed on EVOLUMAN!
Get off of me you stupid poofy Pokémon!
What? JIGGLYPUFF is evolving!
Wha? Oh no! The Moon Stone!!
JIGGLYPUFF evolved into WIGGLYTUFF!
Maybe I can reverse the process with another Moon Stone.
EVOLUMAN used MOON STONE!
What? WIGGLYTUFF is evolving!
Uh oh... it's getting bigger....
WIGGLYTUFF evolved into BIGGLYMUFF!
That thing's huge! I wonder what the Pokédex has to say about it.
This rare Pokémon is known to eat people as they read their Pokédex.
Fascinating....
BIGGLYMUFF used PEOPLE EATER!
What the-?
EVOLUMAN was eaten!
EVOLUMAN used TELEPORT!
EVOLUMAN ran away!
Whew.... that was close....
Now, Bigglymuff... why don't you join my party...?
MAC wants to fight!
Ugh.
MAC sent out BIGGLYMUFF!
PIKACHU wants to fight!
What? Pikachu! You're back!
PIKACHU sent out PIKACHU!
Go! EVOLUMAN!
Pikachu.... you want to help me?
PIKACHU nods in agreement!
*sniff*... I feel so honored....
PIKACHU used THUNDER on BIGGLYMUFF!
PIKACHU's attack missed!
It figures....
MAC was hit with THUNDER!
Yes!!
What? MAC is evolving!
MAC evolved into PC!
Thank goodness.
PC ran away!
BIGGLYMUFF joined PIKACHU!
Hey! I wanted the Bigglymuff....
PIKACHU sent out MISSING NO.!
AAH!!! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, YOU CAN HAVE THE BIGGLYMUFF!
PIKACHU withdrew MISSING NO.!
MISSING NO. gained 1 exp. point.
Hey Pikachu.... I've got a Thunder Stone here.... how about becoming a Raichu....?
PIKACHU ran away!
Battle #8: Team Rocket Challenge June 2, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: James from Team Rocket [No Record]
Battle #8?? You waited until Battle #8 to allow me to compete in Poké Battles??
HOW INSULTING!!
Battle #8: The Death of James June 2, 1999
AAH!! NO NO, I'M SORRY, I'LL BE GOOD!!
JAMES is crying!
I am not!
JAMES used HANDKERCHIEF!
LIES! ALL LIES!!
Hey... what's that over there...?
A wild PIKACHU appeared!
A Pikachu! I gotta catch it!
Gotta catch 'em all!
....no, just Pikachu.
'em all
Pikachu
PIKACHU sent out PIKACHU!
Huh? That Pikachu isn't wild, it's a trainer!
Okay Koffing, go for it!
Go! KOFFING!
PIKACHU used THUNDER!
PIKACHU's attack missed!
Heh heh. This Pikachu's mine!
Koffing! Use your KOFF attack!
KOFFING KOFFED on PIKACHU!
PIKACHU is confused!
Even if it's a trainer, it's still a Pokémon.
And that means I can catch it!
JAMES used POKÉ BALL!
PIKACHU was caught!
YES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! VICTORY IS MINE!!
JAMES is being evil!
Plus, I caught all the Pokémon that the Pikachu had with it!
Let's see here... what could this be?
JAMES sent out MISSING NO.!
...that thing looks scary.... what's the Pokédex say about it?
X°+1+"ů 9_+2YP¦-1xpńE
Weirdest Pokémon I've ever seen. I better keep it.
JAMES withdrew MISSING NO.!
What else does Pikachu have...?
JAMES sent out BIGGLYMUFF!
Egad, that thing's big!
...egad?
What does the Pokédex say about this one?
This rare Pokémon is known to eat people as they read their Pokédex.
BIGGLYMUFF used-
BACK IN THE POKÉ BALL!!! GET BACK IN THE POKÉ BALL NOW!!
JAMES withdrew BIGGLYMUFF
JAMES is breathing heavily!
That.... was close....
Stupid Bigglymuff.
JAMES sent out PIKACHU!
Hello Pikachu. Welcome to Team Rocket.
PIKACHU's RAGE is building!
Now now, Pikachu. I caught you fair and square. You can't deny it.
PIKACHU denies it!
What the-? Don't make me hurt you Pikachu!
A trainer is approaching!
What? Who's there? Are you a fellow member of Team Rocket?
EVOLUMAN wants to fight!
Oh.... um.... uh oh....
Battle #9: Pikachu Rescue June 9, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: James from Team Rocket [Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Pikachu (Battle #8)
EVOLUMAN wants to fight!
You don't know who you're messing with, buddy!
EVOLUMAN demands that you release PIKACHU!
Hah! Koffing, get 'im!
EVOLUMAN sent out ABRA!
Go! KOFFING!
Heh heh. Use your KOFF attack, Koffing!
KOFFING KOFFED on ABRA!
Ha! You're doomed!
ABRA used SNEEZE!
It's super effective!
KOFFING fainted!
Koffing, you've failed me!
I guess I'll use Pikachu then.
Get'm, PIKACHU!
Use thundershock, Pikachu!
PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK!
OW!! Don't shock ME!! Shock the Abra!
Enemy ABRA used NOTHING!
This is my chance! Pikachu, return!
PIKACHU RETURNED to EVOLUMAN!
Huh?
EVOLUMAN withdrew ABRA!
EVOLUMAN sent out PIKACHU!
Okay, your turn Bigglymuff!
Go! BIGGLYMUFF!
Okay, Bigglymuff, eat the Pikachu!
BIGGLYMUFF isn't hungry!
PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK!
Don't give up, Biggly, try again!
BIGGLYMUFF fell asleep!
What?? Wake up!!
JAMES used PIN MISSILE on BIGGLYMUFF!
BIGGLYMUFF is deflating!
???????
It's shrinking! Noooooooooo!
What? BIGGLYMUFF is de-evolving!
BIGGLYMUFF de-evolved into WIGGLYTUFF!
Hold on, Wigglytuff, I think I've got some Scotch tape here....
What? WIGGLYTUFF is de-evolving!
WIGGLYTUFF de-evolved into JIGGLYPUFF!
Wait! Stop shrinking!!
What? JIGGLYPUFF is de-evolving!
JIGGLYPUFF de-evolved into ZIGGLYGUFF!
This... can't.... be.... happening....
What?
Biggly- er... Wiggle- uh... Jiggly, um.... Zigglyguff, come back!
JAMES withdrew ZIGGLYGUFF!
Looks like I have no choice....
JAMES sent out MISSING NO.!
Okay, Missing No., use your LEVELUP attack!
MISSING NO. is loafing around
Uh oh....
MISSING NO. used STUPIDIFIER on JAMES!
JAMES is already stupid!
Hah! Your puny attacks have no effect on me...
...hey!
MISSING NO. joined PIKACHU!
Looks like it's time for me to go.
It's time for you to go!
...I'll keep the Zigglyguff! Later, Pikachu!
JAMES ran away!
EVOLUMAN received the ROCKET BADGE!
PIKACHU received the ZIGGLY BADGE!
MISSING NO. received the GLITCH BADGE!
Battle #10: Return of the Jedi June 16, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Luke Skywalker [Record: 1-0-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Darth Vader (Battle #6)
DARKLUKE used MEGAKICK on DARTH VADER!
Ow.... 4 weeks of kicking should be enough...
EMPEROR says to join the Dark Side!
I already did!
EMPEROR doesn't believe you!
I evolved into Dark Luke four weeks ago! Where were you??
EMPEROR wants to fight!
Well, here we go again....
EMPEROR sent out DARK!
I'm not afraid of darkness!
Go! DARKLUKE!
DARK used DARK!
DARKLUKE is DARK!
Um.... the word "dark" has lost all meaning to me now...
Let's see if you can stand up to this....
DARKLUKE used FLASHLIGHT!
It's super effective!
DARK fainted!
HA! What're you gonna do now, Emp?
EMPEROR demands to be respected!
I respect your demands, but not you.
EMPEROR is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
It?
It!
Does EVERYTHING have to end in an exclamation point?
No!
EMPEROR sent out JAR-JAR BINKS!
WHAT???
I thought that evil creature was killed off early in Star Wars Episode 2!
JAR-JAR BINKS usa spek yas thet yedlehagen isa tha menta who brunged the lifen ina hims.
It's super effective!
YYYYYYEAAAAARRRGGGHHH!! So... much... pain!
DARKLUKE used THE FORCE!
JAR-JAR BINKS was FORCED to DIE!
Phew... that's a relief....
EMPEROR sent out EMPEROR!
EMPEROR used FROWN!
EMPEROR is FROWNING at you!
Uh oh... I better end this quick before he frowns too much.
EMPEROR FROWNS too much!
It's super effective!
ergh...
I've got news for you, emperor....
I AM YOUR -
um.... enemy? ...second cousin? ...friend? Yes, that's a good one.
*Ahem* I AM YOUR FRIEND!! HA HA HA!!
EMPEROR used SCREAM!
EMPEROR is SCREAMING!
EMPEROR fainted!
DARKLUKE wins!
DARKLUKE... is victorious!
Whatever...
DARKLUKE gained 9,450 exp. points!
DARKLUKE grew to level 58!
DARKLUKE's special greatly rose!
My mother always told me I was special....
I am your MOTHER!
DARKLUKE fainted. Use next Pokémon?
>> Next Five Battles
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