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Good & Evil
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle #96: Deadly Voyage February 7, 2001
Location: Atlantic Milk Ocean
Player: Crazy Stan [Record: 1-0-0]
Bluhahahaha! I shall soon take over the world!
THAT is how you started LAST WEEK's battle!
YOU need some new MATERIAL!
Bluhahaha! Farewell, accursed Isle of Yewsad!
CRAZYSTAN looks at YEWSAD in the DISTANCE!
What the….? From a distance, it almost looks like a huge, floating banner advertisement…
THAT is all YEWSAD ever WAS!
BLU?? Why is Yewsad telling me to punch the monkey to win ¥20?
MONEYTREE! WE put the AD in YEWSAD!
If it's ¥20 they offer, I must turn this ship around! That's a lot of money, isn't it?
…
…
YES!
ALRIGHT, then-- heeeeyyy… why'd you hesitate before you answered me?
NARRATOR was considering whether or not to LIE to you!
Oh, alright then.
Waaiiiiiit…. DID you lie to me?
…
…
NO!
Okay! Hard to starboard! All engines reverse!
SHIP used TURN!
...why are we still going forward?
SHIP is very LARGE!
SHIP takes a LONG TIME to turn AROUND!
Hmmm…
THREE HOURS used PASS!
Bluhaha?
Critical hit!
Owwww… what kind of attack was that??
NARRATOR was just having some FUN with TIME!
I am of the Yewsad. I do not find such things funny.
TIME MACHINE appeared!
Wha??
BOB appeared!
BUTCH appeared!
What in the name of Yewsad is going on??
BOB: It worked! Woohoo!
BUTCH: Alright - we better get out of here before this ship hits the iceberg.
BOB: Right.
BOB ran away!
BUTCH ran away!
TIME MACHINE vanished!
I HATE not knowing what is going on!
...and WHY is the ship still going straight ahead?? I can't even see Yewsad anymore!
SHIP turned!
Finally!
...into ICEBERG!
Aaaah!
ICEBERG wants to fight!
Ah, so it's a battle you want, eh? Bring it on!
ICEBERG sent out IT!
ICEBERG brought IT on…
...the SHIP!
Just when I thought the puns couldn't get any stranger…
Okay then -- go, Cretin!
NARRATOR reminds you that CRETIN is long GONE!
Bluhahahaha! Alright then, I'll send out… the SHIP!
SHIP is already OUT…
...of FUEL!
What in the…?
NARRATOR loves its JOB!
UNDERSTOOD… in that case, I shall send out myself!
I am of the Yewsad! Nothing can stop me!
CRAZYSTAN sent out CRAZYSTAN!
Enemy IT is glaring at you MENACINGLY!
Eww… that thing makes my skin crawl.
SKIN used CRAWL!
NO!!
SKIN crawled AWAY!
BLUHAHAHA!! Now I am even MORE POWERFUL!
NARRATOR points out that you HAVE NO SKIN!
NARRATOR wants to know just HOW you're more POWERFUL!
...I'm TRYING to intimidate the iceberg!
ICEBERG just SITS THERE!
Aha! Fearful of me, you are!
YOU are just a SKELETON!
FEAR ME!
TITANIC III hits the ICEBERG!
Bluhahaha! This ship is unsinkable!
TITANIC III snapped in HALF as EASILY as a TOOTHPICK!
...maybe it WAS a bad idea to build the ship out of toothpicks.
TITANIC III is SINKING beneath the OCEANS of MILK!
Nooo! I haven't finished battling the It yet!
IT used FINISH!
BATTLE was FINISHED!
I… what??
ICEBERG wins!
Cheater! I demand a rematch! I-- that's odd, I can no longer breathe.
THAT is because YOU are DROWNING!
Noo! I can't die like this! I can't!
CRAZYSTAN died!
...like THIS!
CURSES! Puns must be in season this time of year…
YOU are supposed to be DEAD!
Bluhahahaha! Death cannot silence me!
DEAD MEN tell no TALES!
I shall tell many a tale! The only way for you to stop me would be to end the battle! But you wouldn't dare--
>> View/Post Comments on Battle #96
Battle #97: Narrative Discipline February 18, 2001
Location: Da Camera Man's Room
Player: Da Camera Man [Record: 1-0-0]
Waaaaah! Let me out of here!
YOU are going to be in here for a LONG TIME!
But wai? WAAAIIII??
YOU need to stop SPELLING things in NON-CONVENTIONAL ways!
WAI--- err… I mean, why?
BECAUSE your BEHAVIOR reflects upon your PARENT!
And your PARENT is the NARRATOR!
*shudder* Don't remind me…
WHY do you find that so DISTRESSING?
Oh, I don't know…
Maybe there's just something about being borne of a sexless disembodied all-powerful booming voice that is just slightly disconcerting!!
NARRATOR used DISCONCERT!
CAMERAMAN's INTERNET CONNECTION was DISCONCERTED!
Was that some kind of attempt at a pun? Man, you suck at this.
YOU need to learn to RESPECT your ELDER!
My elder?? You're what, three weeks older than me?
NARRATOR's POINT still REMAINS!
NARRATOR's POINT begins JABBING you in the STOMACH!
GEEZ! What did I do to deserve this??
NARRATOR decides to REMIND you!
Fine.
Location: Fifteen Minutes Ago
How can 'fifteen minutes ago' be a location??
IT is a LOCATION in TIME!
So why didn't you just call it a 'time' instead of a 'location'??
NARRATOR can do whatever it WANTS!
Stupid moronic Narrator…
That's IT! GO to your ROOM!
Location: Da Camera Man's Room
...that was strange.
YOU are going to REMAIN in your ROOM until you LEARN your LESSON!
That could take awhile.
…*sigh* … nothing exciting ever happens around here.
WEBMASTARIAN suddenly crashed through the WINDOW!
That'll do.
WEBMASTARIAN is looking for CONVERTS!
Oh, well I'm not a convert. I can take your picture, though.
WEBMASTARIAN turns down your OFFER!
WEBMASTARIAN believes that he will lose his SOUL if you take his picture!
Huh… so, what religion do you belong to?
WEBMASTARIAN says it's a CULT!
Ohh. That's somewhat more intimidating. And what cult is it?
WEBMASTARIAN says it is the WEBMASTARIAN CULT!
…makes sense.
WEBMASTARIAN says there once was an OLD WORLD ruled by a BENEVOLENT WEBMASTER and INHABITED by CREATURES called POKéMON!
Blasphemy!
WEBMASTARIAN insists that it's the TRUTH!
Okay then…. we'll just calmly work out our differences by… BATTLING!
WEBMASTARIAN wants to fight!
Geocities, GO!
Go! GEOCITIES!
WEBMASTARIAN is taken ABACK!
What? What's wrong?
WEBMASTARIAN point out that that is a POKéMON from the OLD WORLD!
...how do you know that?
WEBMASTARIAN will PROVE IT!
WEBMASTARIAN turned on the MAC!
Hey, leave my MAC alone!
WEBMASTARIAN logged onto POKEBATTLES.COM!
GAH! What is THAT??
WEBMASTARIAN says that THAT is the SITE where YOUR ACTIONS are VIEWED by MANY FANS!
Many fans? Fans of what?
WEBMASTARIAN says that YOU are merely a SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT for the people of the REAL WORLD!
Real world?? What are you talking about??
WEBMASTARIAN decides to SHOW YOU the FANS!
WEBMASTARIAN logs onto mIRC!
Uhh… okay…
WEBMASTARIAN hands you the KEYBOARD!
Location: Channel #pokebattles on irc.esper.net
[23:48] *** Cameraman has joined #pokebattles
[23:48] * MrKite15 bets DoomSheep is dead
[23:48] * Dan_Da_Man just bought it from himself
[23:48] <Cameraman> ...GAH!
[23:48] <Dan_Da_Man> >_<;;;;;;
[23:48] * DoomSheep collects $20 from Kite.
[23:48] <MrKite15> lol
[23:48] <Cameraman> these are the 'many fans'??
[23:49] <MrKite15> lol, he's alive?
[23:49] <Cameraman> who are you guys, anyway?
[23:49] <Dan_Da_Man> erm
[23:49] <DoomSheep> <--- Me.
[23:49] <Dan_Da_Man> That's not Jason...RIGHT?
[23:49] <MrKite15> several different webmasters
[23:49] <Dan_Da_Man> Cameraman is cameraman@1Cust72.tnt51.lax3.da.uu.net * Da Camera Man
[23:49] <Dan_Da_Man> JR-WritingPB is webmaster@w019.z206111198.lax-ca.dsl.cnc.net * Jason Ross
[23:49] <Cameraman> what the...?? are you guys from this... 'real world' place?
[23:49] <Dan_Da_Man> uh
[23:49] <Dan_Da_Man> Da Cameraman
[23:50] <Dan_Da_Man> Odd indeed
[23:50] <ChippermonkeyOfDOOM> Chippermonkey.
[23:50] <Cameraman> ......
[23:50] * Dan_Da_Man plays Iris again....Uhhhhhh
[23:51] <MrKite15> how'd you get here cameraman?
[23:51] * MrKite15 is wondering if he's using the applet or just a wandering mirc user or something..
[23:51] <Cameraman> ummm... am I really just a source of entertainment for you guys?
[23:51] <MrKite15> pretty much, now dance puppet dance
[23:51] <Cameraman> AAAAH!
[23:51] <Cameraman> ...guess I'm joining the Webmastarians
[23:52] *** Cameraman has quit IRC
Location: Da Camera Man's Room
WEBMASTARIAN wants to know if you BELIEVE him now!
I-- I can't believe…
CAMERAMAN used DANCE!
CAMERAMAN is DANCING like the PUPPET he IS!
AAAAAH! Why am I doing this??
BECAUSE one of the FANS wanted to SEE it!
GAH!! Alright, I'll join your cult!
WEBMASTARIAN is HAPPY!
...right after I finish this battle. Geocities, use your UPLOAD attack!
Enemy WEBMASTARIAN was UPLOADED…
...out the WINDOW!
Enemy WEBMASTARIAN fell to his DEATH!
Enemy WEBMASTARIAN CORPSE was RUN OVER by a passing TRUCK filled with BOWLING BALLS!
...a bit of overkill, perhaps. Oh well.
CAMERAMAN wins!
CAMERAMAN gained 431 exp. points!
That's strange, considering that Geocities was the one actually battling.
CAMERAMAN learned LESSON!
...is that supposed to be some kinda move?
CAMERAMAN is NO LONGER confined to his ROOM!
Woohoo! Time to go track down some Webmastarians, then!
Me! Use your TAKEDOWN… er… TRACKDOWN attack!
THAT was a PATHETIC ATTEMPT at LAST MINUTE HUMOR!
Aww, bite me!
NARRATOR used BITE!
OWW!
...I can't believe I was just bitten by a disembodied voice.
BATTLE is just RAMBLING ON now!
So end it already!
NARRATOR used KILL!
BATTLE died a HORRIBLE, PAINFUL death!
...that works.
>> View/Post Comments on Battle #97
Battle #98: Déjà Vu February 21, 2001
Location: The Path to Nowhere
Player: Chester from Evil Incorporated [No Record]
Battle #98?? You waited until Battle #98 to allow me to compete in Poké Battles??
HOW INSULTING!!
Battle #98: The Death of Chester February 21, 2001
AAH!! NO NO, I'M SORRY, I'LL BE GOOD!!
NARRATOR is suddenly STRUCK by an ODD SENSATION!
Really? Did it lose HP from that?
NARRATOR is OVERCOME with a SENSE of DÉJÀ VU!
It matters not. Soon, I shall take over A SMALL PORTION OF THE WORLD! Muahaha!
THAT didn't sound quite RIGHT!
I'm a new breed of villain, oh Narrative One. I belong to an evil organization dedicated to taking over the world.
THAT doesn't sound very NEW at ALL!
Ah, but it is. I have been assigned the 'path to nowhere' as my portion of the world to take over. Meanwhile, my associates shall do likewise in other areas. Soon, the world shall be ours!
CHESTER sees NOBODY on the PATH TO NOWHERE!
...literally nobody or is there actually someone named Nobody there?
...NOBODY!
……
Excellent! It appears that my task is already complete!
NOBODY wants to fight!
CURSES! That's not true and you know it!!
YOU have a good POINT!
PREVIOUS STATEMENT was FALSE!
*Whew* … that's good…
SOMEBODY actually DOES want to fight!
What?? I thought you said nobody was on this path!
NARRATOR merely said that you SAW NOBODY!
YOU should have LOOKED more CAREFULLY!
...I'm beginning to wish that you'd waited longer to allow me into a Poké Battle…
SOMEBODY was renamed WEBMASTARIAN!
Geez, these guys are everywhere nowadays. Okay then, I'll fight him off with my bare hands!
Go! BARE HANDS!
Wait, time out. Explain to me why my hands just flew off my arms.
THAT was what you CHOSE to SEND OUT!
...well, how do I get my hands back?
BARE HANDS, enough!
I'll choose my words more carefully now…
WORDS! I choose you!
What the-??
WEBMASTARIAN sent out FAITH!
...fine, I'll just run with it.
Escaped safely!
Huh??
CHESTER is running AWAY!
I am not!
CHESTER used RUNNING SHOES!
LIES! ALL LIES!!
NARRATOR gets DÉJÀ VU again!
Well stop getting déjà vu and start running this battle fairly! I was fighting a Webmastarian!
WEBMASTARIAN appeared!
WEBMASTARIAN wants to know why you RAN AWAY!
I didn't! It was that stupid Narrator…
WEBMASTARIAN says YOU have NO CHANCE to ESCAPE MAKE your TIME!
...pardon?
WEBMASTARIAN sent out FAITH… again!
Hehe… I suppose you could say that he's… kept the Faith?
…
…
THAT wasn't FUNNY!
Dang.
Words, go!
WORDS are GONE!
That's a lame pun.
NO, YOU left words BEHIND when you RAN AWAY!
...it's still a lame pun.
CHESTER needs to send out a POKéMON!
A what??
Err… CHESTER needs to SEND SOMETHING OUT!
Screw that… I'll just fight myself.
CHESTER wants to fight… HIMSELF!
Yes, err.. wait, that could be taken the wrong way…
CHESTER used TAKEDOWN!
Critical hit!
Owww…
CHESTER was hit with RECOIL!
OWWWW!! Geeez, this sucks!
Enemy FAITH just SITS THERE!
Well there's something that's hard to picture.
I think I know how this works now…
Okay, Narrator - I'm using my MAKE ENEMY FAITH FAINT attack on FAITH.
NARRATOR didn't KNOW you had that ATTACK!
….well, I do.
CHESTER used MAKE ENEMY FAITH FAINT!
Enemy FAITH fainted!
That wasn't so hard.
CHESTER used HARD!
...uh oh.
CHESTER kicked WEBMASTARIAN…
...HARD!
Woohoo!
WEBMASTARIAN is WRITHING in AGONY!
Alright, Webmastarian scum! Talk!
Where is your base of operations?
WEBMASTARIAN refuses to TELL you!
All your base are belong to us! Tell me where they are!
WEBMASTARIAN will TELL you if you HAVE MERCY and IMPROVE your GRAMMAR!
Muahaha… how the tables have turned…
TABLES appeared!
You've gotta be kidding me.
TABLES TURNED… on YOU!
This is to be taken literally, I assume?
FIGURATIVELY!
Oh? How so?
WARREN THE CULT LEADER appeared!
Aha! This will be the end for the Webmastarians…
Muahahahahahaha!
CHESTER used TYPICAL EVIL VILLAIN LAUGH!
To be continued...
>> View/Post Comments on Battle #98
Battle #99: Nemeses March 1, 2001
Location: The Path to Nowhere
Player: Chester from Evil Incorporated [Record: 1-0-0]
WARREN is staring you DOWN!
Still?
You were stared DOWN!
You greatly fell!
What greatly fell??
You fell to the GROUND!
*sigh* … maybe I'll just stay down here and wait for him to go away…
WARREN continues to STAND THERE!
...then again, considering that he's been there for a whole week, that's wishful thinking.
While I'm down here, I may as well take a smoke…
ELM: CHESTER! This is not the time to use that!
Leave me alone! It's not my fault this stuff is addictive!
ELM: Just say NO!
No!!!
ELM: …I never heard that retort before.
Shut up! I'm an Evil character - I can do whatever I want!
YOU want to stay DRUG FREE!
Anything that's 'free' always has a catch to it.
The CATCH is that you CAN'T do DRUGS!
I knew it. Well, I may as well stand up.
You used STAND!
Ahh, so here I am on the Path to Nowhere. I don't even remember why I was lying on the ground in the first place.
WARREN approaches MENACINGLY!
...ohh, right.
WARREN wants to know what you were DOING here!
The answer to that can best be expressed thusly:
*Ahem*
Prepare for danger…
Make that double-danger…
To bring the world to devastation…
To divide all peoples within our nation…
To defend the evils of truth and love…
To extend our reach to the stars above…
Chester!
Of Evil Incorporated!
Evil Incorporated is a registered trademark of ChronoWeb Publishing!
Surrender now or prepare to fight-ublishing!
NARRATOR gets DÉJÀ VU again!
Shut up, Narrator! That was last week!
WARREN says your MOTTO really SUCKS!
WARREN wants to know what 'fight-ublishing' is supposed to MEAN!
Grrr… why don't I give you a demonstration!
WARREN wants to fight-ublishing!
Funny, Narrator. Verrry amusing.
NARRATOR flushes with PRIDE!
Alright, for this battle I will sent out my company-issued Evilmon!
Go! EVILMON!
WARREN is SHOCKED!
WARREN wants to know if that's a POKéMON!
Haha! You Webmastarians aren't the only ones who know of the Old World. We at Evil Incorporated has studied Pokebattles.com thoroughly, and clicked its banner ads repeatedly, of course.
WARREN says OF COURSE!
CHESTER and WARREN are SMILING and NODDING at WHOEVER is READING this BATTLE RIGHT NOW!
WARREN still wants to know how you managed to find a POKéMON in the NEW WORLD!
Haha, my simple-minded friend. This is not a Pokémon! This is simply an animal that has been genetically engineered to have powers resembling that of a Pokémon!
CHESTER says it looks like a DOG with a LASER CANNON strapped to its HEAD!
Shut up! Are you going to send something out or not?
WARREN sent out WEBMASTARIAN!
One of your groupies, huh?
WARREN insists that WEBMASTARIANS travel in HERDS, not GROUPS!
Uhhh… okay. Dog! I mean, Evilmon! Use your LASERBEAM attack!
LASER CANNON: Microsoft Voice Activation Software v3.31 Service Pack 4 Error Message #255: Unable to recognize command 'LAZYSTEAM'. Auto-download for new attack 'LAZYSTEAM' initiated.
What? No, I wanted LASERBEAM, not LAZYSTEAM you stupid mutt!
DOG is WHIMPERING from the WEIGHT of the LASER CANNON on its HEAD!
Quiet, you! And it's not a dog, it's an Evilmon!
WARREN feels TOO SORRY for the ANIMAL to even ATTACK it!
Haha, and that's where your weakness lies! Evilmon, finish it with your TAKEDOWN attack!
LASER CANNON: Downloading 'LAZYSTEAM' at 3.1 kbps, 1% complete.
Hmm… I suppose I'll have to wait it out. My opponent is too stupid to make a move anyway.
DOG collapsed from the WEIGHT of the LASER CANNON!
...NO PROBLEM. Since I have an 'EVILMON' and not a 'DOG', I suppose that NOTHING is wrong at all!
DOG fainted!
….
WARREN suggests that you take a MOMENT to redefine 'STUPID'!
Grrr… that does it! Go, me!
Go! CHESTER!
Now we'll see who--
Enemy WEBMASTARIAN used HOLY PUNCH!
CHESTER was PUNCHED!
Well, that's not too--
...in the STOMACH!
Okay, I can deal with--
...HARD!
But still, I can counter by--
...so HARD it created a HOLE!
OWWW!!!
CHESTER fainted!
NOOO! I can't faint!
YOU just DID!
...how am I able to talk still?
YOU are in a DREAM STATE!
I see…
YOU see a GIANT DOG with a LASER CANNON towering OVER YOU!
Aaaaaah!
DREAM STATE was renamed NIGHTMARE STATE!
Nooooo! A narrated nightmare?? Nothing could get worse than this…
NARRATOR appeared in the form of a NIGHT MARE!
AAAAAAAAAH!
NARRATOR has some WORK to do!
Help meeeeee….
BATTLE ended!
>> View/Post Comments on Battle #99
*No animals were harmed in the making of this battle
Battle #100: One Must Fall March 7, 2001
Location: The Land of the Dead
Player: Luke Skywalker [Record: 2-3-2]
*sigh* … it's too quiet around here.
JAR-JAR BINKS starts TALKING again!
NOOO!
JAR-JAR: igoawhenoineiognigejwaisgjalgjmiohgnawpigpie
Jnipgheajipgojhopjgpiojiepjgipfejgiepipgiejgeopgjeopgjop
hjiehitjigheihagfdogjdod
...Is it just me, or is he getting worse?
CRAZY STAN says it's just YOU!
Aaaaaah! Where'd you come from??
CRAZY STAN adds BLUHAHAHAHAHA to his previous STATEMENT!
You're new here, I take it?
CRAZY STAN says he HAILS from the ISLE OF YEWSAD!
Isle of Yewsad? I never heard of it…
CRAZY STAN says it's a LITTLE-KNOWN ISLAND located in the ATLANTIC MILK OCEAN!
Atlantic Milk Ocean?? Buddy, I don't know how to tell you this, but you've either completely lost it or you come from a galaxy far, far away…
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
STAR WARS THEME begins!
POKé
BATTLES
Hoo boy, now I've done it.
RECAP beings to SCROLL IN!
EPISODE C:
One Must Fall
The once mighty Old World of Poké Battles has been destroyed. The heroes of those old times are forever gone. The now-deceased Almighty Webmaster had decreed that once every fifty battles, one character would be able to pass from death into life. Because these characters residing in the land of the dead were stored on a different server, they were ironically the only ones spared when Red Version was wiped from existence.
Immortus, the creator of the New World, has decided to keep this tradition. Within the Land of the Dead, good and evil must clash, with the ultimate result being the resurrection of one character, and one character alone.
Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker and his rebel forces are in dire straits. They search desperately for the portal to life, but up to this point have come up empty-handed in locating it. Crazy Stan, an evil villain bent on the destruction of the world, now launches a surprise attack on the rebels in the empty space of the Land of the Dead…
RECAP ended!
Uh… what?? What's this about a surprise attack, Stan??
CRAZY STAN SHUSHES you while eating his POPCORN and looking at the SCREEN!
…and since when do I have rebel forces?
OBI-WAN: LUKE! The FORCE is strong with you!
Shut up, Obi-Wan -- I don't see you helping.
OBI-WAN points out that he's DEAD!
So what? I'm dead too, and you don't hear me whining about it.
OBI-WAN hears you WHINE about it all the TIME!
Yeah, but at least I'm out here fighting…
OBI-WAN says it doesn't LOOK like you are FIGHTING!
Well, not yet… but I'm sure something will happen soon enough.
CRAZY STAN launches SURPRISE ATTACK!
Ah, right on cue.
CRAZY STAN says he will be the one who will return to life!
CRAZY STAN goes on to say BLUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
What, are you crazy?
NARRATOR notes that's a reasonable assumption!
I don't even know where the portal to life is! What's the point of coming after me?
CRAZY STAN wants to KILL you so you have no CHANCE of finding the PORTAL!
Uhh… I'm already dead, Einstein.
EINSTEIN wants to know what HE has to do with this!
Shut up! Look, all I'm saying is while you're busy with me, some other guy will probably find the portal. The odds of it appearing here are--
PORTAL TO LIFE appeared!
*sigh* …bring it on, then.
CRAZY STAN wants to fight!
CRAZY STAN sent out CRETIN!
I--- what?? Is that you, Chewbacca?
Enemy CRETIN shed a TEAR!
Awww…
It's super effective!
Wha? Aaaaaaah!
LUKE's HP greatly fell!
I better send out… my Light Saber! GO!
Go! LIGHT SABER!
Okay, use your LIGHT attack!
LIGHT SABER used LIGHT!
CHOOSE YOUR OWN NARRATOR JOKE!
Umm… okay…
A) LIGHT SABER became LIGHT!
LIGHT SABER floated AWAY!
B) LIGHT SABER lit up the AREA!
You see FIFTY MORE CRETINS!
C) LIGHT SABER lights itself on FIRE!
...I don't like any of those…
LIGHT SABER lights itself on FIRE while becoming LIGHT and floating AWAY!
*sigh*
AREA became WELL-LIT!
You see FIFTY MORE CRETINS!
This isn't good… I may have to take drastic action.
CRETINS are SURROUNDING you!
CRAZY STAN is BLUHAHAHAHA-ING!
Gooooo… C-3PO!
Get'm, C-3PO!
Hurry, use--
C-3PO instantly EXPLODED!
...man, is he leveling down each battle or what??
EXPLOSION reduced the CRETINS to a pile of CRETIN CORPSES!
YES! Fear me, Crazy Stan… for I shall now re-align myself with the Dark side… true, I must become Darkluke once more, but with those powers, I will be easily able to overthrow you. IT IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY!
MEWTWO appeared!
What the-?
MEWTWO: No! Don't join the Dark side, Luke! I can't bear to think of you as evil! Stay good, Luke! Stay good!
Oh, man… Mewtwo's really lost it since Pokémon: The First Movie.
MEWTWO says that FIGHTING is BAD! VIOLENCE should be AVOIDED at all COSTS!
It's not violence when we're already dead! Now step aside!!
MEWTWO says that if you JOIN the DARK SIDE, it will plant an ICE BEAM in your BACK!
Eeep.
...point taken.
CRAZY STAN is going CRAZY!
CRAZY STAN wants to CUT YOU UP INTO TINY PIECES!
We'll see about that!
Mewtwo, go!
MEWTWO went AWAY!
Well, it was worth a shot.
Okay, R2-D2-- get'm!
The enemy's crazy! Get'm, R2-D2!
Okay-- use your--
R2-D2 BEEPS INCOHERENTLY and then EXPLODES!
GEEEZ. Did that take out Crazy Stan?
CRAZY STAN is making a DASH for the PORTAL and so is WELL OUT of RANGE!
What?? NOOOO!!!
YOU used THE FORCE!
PORTAL was pushed AWAY!
Turn and face me, coward!
DYING CRETIN turned and FACED YOU!
Not you. The other coward.
CRAZY STAN continued CHASING the MOVING PORTAL!
Even a cretin is more courageous than him…
DYING CRETIN shed a TEAR!
Stop doing that.
PORTAL moved onto MIDGYOTO!
It… it WHAT???
MIDGYOTO: hehe, lol
MIDGYOTO was transported to RED VERSION!
NOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!!!
BLUE WIZARD appeared!
BLUE WIZARD wants to know if he's TOO LATE!
...you are. Midgyo got to the portal first.
BLUE WIZARD curses LOUDLY!
BLUE WIZARD drew CRAZY STAN's ATTENTION!
CRAZY STAN: Bluhahahahahahaha!
...uh oh. Better run for it, Bluie.
BLUE WIZARD ran away!
CRAZY STAN is PURSUING and saying BLUHAHAHAHAHA!
This battle lacks the drama that I hoped it would have.
JAR-JAR BINKS appeared!
Noooooo!!
...at least I'll have another chance in battle #150, right?
…
RIGHT??
JAR-JAR BINKS: ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
*sigh* … this is gonna be a long eternity.
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