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Battle21: A jiggly beginning to a jiggly end!Player: Brandon Narrator Hey! I just realized something! now that's a rare occurence! shut up. Whatever happened to death in that battle with the army of doompuffs? Death was resuscitated! er, resuscitated? became alive! oh yeah! I had just, forgotten. What? Death is Evolving! Death evolved into Life! The cereal? No! How come he just evolved now? .... Oh right! He would be that wierd bony black caped figure that has been following me relentlessly all throughout the last few battles! mmmm, I should eat some breakfast. Brandon ate life! The cereal or the pokemon? what an idiot! The Cereal! oh. This battle so far seems kind of pointless. I hope something happens soon. I might get replaced if these battles are too boring. Attention! New star! Kita! Audience: Hooray! Kita: I'd just like to say that I'll be the worst main character as possible! Audience: Hooray! Kita: um, I'll kill every one of you! Audience: Hooray! Kita: Wow, they really are mindless. Too many Illumina Version pokebattles I guess. Attention! New star! Brandon! Kita: dang! my moment in the spotlight was way too short! doompuff army appeared! oh look at what I just found in my backpack! A cure for rabies and 2 rocket launchers! Brandon used SHOOTLARGEAMOUNTSOFCUREFORRABIESINJIGGLYPUFFSATDOOMPUFFA RMY! Kita used SHOOTLARGEAMOUNTSOFCUREFORRABIESINJIGGLYPUFFSATDOOMPUFFA RMY! What? Doompuff army is de-evolving! Doompuff army de-evolved into jigglypuff army! Jigglypuff army ran away! There are 2 rabidpuffs remaining! Rabidpuff1 was renamed! Rabidpuff1 was renamed to original puff! Original puff ran away! I just found one more cure! Brandon used SHOOTREMAININGRABIDPUFFWITHCUREFORRABIES! It has no effect Whatsoever! I don't remember that line in the pokemon game. Rabidpuff: I am a clone of the original puff! I am immune to the cure for rabies! Mwahahhahahha! oh yeah! I have one last secret weapon! Rabidpuff: mwahahaha! Take your best shot! Pokeball go! Kita: gads! It's, It's, It's horrible! By illumina@graalmail.com Battle22: Illumina is monster free! or is it?Player: BrandonNarrator Time for a commercial break! nooo! not when I was just about to unleash my- When you want a good shave use Mach42 for the closest shave of your life! With each new blade coming 5 inches closer than the last one you can't deny that life would be nothing without using the Mach42 but then again, you can't live when you use it anyway! so why bother! buy it now for 99.99! Who's that pokemon! Child audience: I've never seen that pokemon! er, I mean What's that object! Child audience: oh! A super computer component built in taiwan around 1499 when the renassaince first discovered nutty butty peanut Butter. And now back to our regularily scheduled programming! Alright! After this commercial! Arrrghhhh! Hey kids! have you ever wanted to turn into a refrigerator! Well now you can with our 100 year old "turn into a refrigerator kit! The cost? It's absolutely free! That's right! It's either a really good deal or a commie death ray in disguise! And now back to our regularily scheduled programming! After this commercial! grrrrrr... Brandon went back in ime and killed whoever invented commercials! Of course since commercials provide money for this show's funding ths show never existed! Show fainted! No it did not! Brandon used Max revive on show! Show used THESHOWMUSTGOON! and now on with our regularily scheduled proggramming! After- Brandon hit commercial narrator on the head with a metal mallet! finally! Go- Hey! I already sent out my pokemon! Hey is for horses! That's not the poi- horse appeared! horse said hey! wow, A horse talked to me. It must have some profound and deep meaning coming from within the heart of my very soul. Horse: not really, I was just saying hi. oh. Horse: my name is ed! sure sure! now what was I doing... oh yeah I wa- Horse was renamed! could you say this kind of stuff before I talk! .... alright, good. now as I was saying I was about to send out a poke- Horse was renamed ed! arrghh!!! Brandon used NARRATORMUSTDIE! You can't kill or even hurt a disembodied voice! actually I can! ??? Narrator is confused! Narrator beat up- Illumina webmaster used interfere! Illumina Webmaster: It's not good style to use the same joke! Narrator hurt itself in it's confusion! ouch! Why you little! you lied! No I didn't I made you hurt yourself! Narrator is even more confused! Narrator hit himself! Really hard! What? Narrator is de-evolving! Narrator pressed B! Where? Where's the B button? Narrator stopped de-evolving! Narrator is mad! Narrator used end! The battle is over! no! wait! Iwas just about to send out my Secret Weapon! What about the title! Dang! Now I'll have to wait until battle23 to send out my secret weapon! By illumina@graalmail.com Battle23:Illumina is monster free! or at least I hope soPlayer: Brandon Narrator That's it! I'm going to call out my secret weapon if it kills me! Brandon died! Pokeball! Commercial appeared! Go! Commercial used interrupt! Brandon used SUPERPOWERFULEYELASERBEAMSOFDEATHFIREANDOTHERAPOCOLYPTIC ALLYFURIOUSPOWERFULTHINGS Commercial fainted! Brandon sent out Elmyra! Finally! Elmyra: oohooh! What A cute little pokemon! Elmyra takes a step forward! Doompuff is confused! Doompuff: What? What are you doing?! Be afraid of me! Get away! Doompuff stepped backwards! Elmyra used UNESCAPEBLEHUGOFDEATH! Doompuff can't move! Elmyra's attack continues! Doompuff: Urghhh, let me go! Elmyra's attack continues! Elmyra: I'm gonna hug you and squeeze you, and love you till you're all gone! Elmyra's attack continued! Doompuff: Must escape deathgrip! urrghh! Doompuff escaped! Doompuff is running away! Doompuff is still running! Doompuff ran over a cliff! Cliff is angry! Cliff used collapse! Cliff fainted! It's not very effective! Elmyra: ooh, a cloning center! ooh! What does this button do? Elmyra was cloned! 100 times! Doompuff is surrounded! Doompuff is afraid! Doompuff: how is one little girl so strong! Doompuff: er, 100 little girls I mean Elmyra army: what a cute little pokemon! Elmyra army used HUGOFDEATH! Doompuff fainted! What? Doompuff is de-evolving! Doompuff De-evolved into Jigglypuff! I thought doompuff de-evolved into superpuff. What? Jigglypuff is evolving! Jigglypuff Evolved into doomp- Quick! De-evolve hime before he becomes doompuff again! Kita used Pin missile! That was... kind of disturbing the way those missiles just flew out of her body. It's super effective! What? jigglypuff is de-evolving! Jigglypuff De-evolved into zigglyguff! etc. etc. etc. You cheapo! What? Micropuff is de-evolving! Micropuff De-evolved into zigglyspeck! zigglyspeck can no longer be seen! zigglyspeck used bite! It's not very effective! I didn't feel a single thing! Elmyra: Where did the cute little pokemon go? What? Elmyra is growing up! Elmyra grew into one of those teenagers going around with the sign that says "save the whales!!" Advertisor: Play "Save the whales!!" an interesting RPG game in which you must save the whales!Buy it for the most outdated system in existence! $9999.99 Elmyra: ooh! that will be my new obsession! videogames! Can I buy it for the Sony playstation instead? Advertisor: sorry, only for the most outdated system in the world! Elmyra: buh but, wah! Elmyra used manipulate! It's super effective! crowd appeared! Lady appeared! Lady used WHACKWITHPURSE! Lady: Give her the game! you horrible horrible person! It's super effective! Elmyra recieved special version of the game! Elmyra ran away! Crowd ran away! lady ran away! Advertisor ran away! Well, finally Illumina Version is monster free! flopping magikarp of swirly death appeared! Why? Why oh why did I have to say something?! by illumina@graalmail.com Battle24:A powerful pokemon of death? or a big flop?Player: BrandonNarrator Brandon used Masterball! Brandon caught flopping Magikarp of swirly death! Flopping Magikarp of swirly death was renamed! Flopping Magikarp of swirly death was renamed to DeathKarp! Alright! I actually caught one of these kinds of pokemon! seems strange that it was so easy though.... Mewtwo appeared! Great! that's the perfect pokemon to try my new pokemon on! DeathKarp go! DeathKarp used splash of death! That sounds powerful! It doesn't affect enemy mewtwo! Darn! Deathkarp! use whatever your most powerful attack is! Deathkarp used SUPERHYDROMATICRAPIDFIRINGUNDEFEATABLESPLASH OFDEATH! Its not very effective! Enemy Mewtwo is loafing around! DeathKarp fainted! What?! Mewtwo didn't even do anything! Mewtwo realizes something! Like I care..... Mewtwo has realized that pokemon should be in control of their own lives and that they should not be owned as though they were an object! um, I don't think thats what mewtwo was supposed to realize. Mewtwo can realize whatever he wants! Mewtwo realized whatever he wanted! Mewtwo realized that pokemon should be in control of- didn't he already realize that? YES!!! er, am I missing something here? Mewtwo is going to kill all pokemon trainers unless they release their pokemon! Mewtwo wants to kill you! ME? yes you! Um, I dont train pokemon! I train frogs! yes, thats it! I train frogs! Mewtwo: frogs are like pokemon! Mewtwo wants to kill frog trainer, Brandon! ulp! did I say frogs?! I meant to say pogs! Mewtwo is laughing! Mewtwo called you a nerd! Mewtwo: hahahahaha!!! You're such a nerd! Mewtwo took off his disguise! Mewtwo is actually..... um, am I gonna like this? Girl who you have had a crush on for the past five years! Girl who you have had a crush on for the past five years: hahaha! to think, I nearly asked a pog collector on a date! Nooooooo!!!! This is all DeathKarps fault! Brandon kicked DeathKarp! What? DeathKarp is evolving! Uh oh....... Why! "Oh why couldn't I have taken a hint from that St. Anne episode! Deathkarp evolved into- *Gulp!* By illumina@graalmail.com Battle25:The introduction of *drum roll* Wiggly doom!Player: Doompuff Narrator Wiggly doom: I wonder what that son of mine is doing! Doompuff is eating South america! Wiggly doom: oh, darn it! he's gonna ruin his appetite! mmmm, Metal tanks taste so good! and they're a great supply of iron! Doompuff was hit on the head with a mallet! huh? I didn't feel anything. mmm, yummy human beans! Wiggly doom: stop eating! you'll ruin your appetite! We're eating chinese tonight! Awww mom.... Chinese people give me indigestion! Wiggly doom: I don't care what your excuse is! Chinese people are good for you! I refuse to eat chinese! I'm very fragile to indigestion! especially from chinese people! Wiggly doom: grrrrr!!!! Ow stop it! stop it! Wiggly doom is dragging doompuff by his ear! Wiggly doom rammed chinese person down doompuffs throat! oww.... that hurt! It's super effective! Chinese person used indigestion! erp! how could she! How could she feed me a raw chinese person! Chinese person: bwahahahaha! hey! hasn't my stomach acids killed you yet! ohhhh, I'm so weak! Wiggly doom: muahahahaha! Mom? why are you laughing? Wiggly doom is actually DHI inc! oh yeah, those people I killed in aqua! Rookie is scared! Rookie ran away! No wonder he's a rookie! Rookie is angry! Rookie used punch! It's super effective! Critical hit! No way! how could a mere rookie defeat I, the evil rabid jigglypuff of doom! Doompuff used pronounce really long name! it's not very effective! Curse you narrator! Stupid indigestion! I should have known that family reunion card was a fake! I thought the DHI logo was just a typo or a joke! Doompuff is trying to cram DHI member down his throat! argh! too full! Wiggly doom appeared! Mom?! Wiggly doom is hungry! Wiggly doom ate remaining DHI members! Rookie ran away! Thanks mom, I'm off to take over the red version! Wiggly doom: No you're not! Your room is a mess! Go clean it first! *sigh* I might have been better off with DHI. Wiggly doom: you heard me! Get up there now! *grumble* I'm going! I'm going! Wiggly doom: and after that, take a bath! Alright, Alright! Just stop bothering me! By illumina@graalmail.com |