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Battle11 Battle12 Battle13 Battle14 Battle15
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Battle11:The murdorous Pidgeot of tortorous Death!!!


Player: Brandon
Narrator

umm, nice pidgeot, good little pidgeot.
Murdorous Pidgeot doesn't like being called little!
um
Murdorous pidgeot used eat!
Murdorous pidgeot ate brandon!
Brandon Died!

New player: Mega memory card
Mega memory card installed backup files!

New player: Brandon
I sure am glad I made this back up of myself! Hey! I must have forgotten to keep updating my memory card! I've still got my wings, 'n' stuff!
I wonder how I remember being eaten by the murdorous pidgeot.
What! Brandon is confusing!
Don't you mean "Brandon is confused"?
Brandon confused into-- errorerrorerrorerrorerrorerror
error error errorA19 Default drive caused a fatal exception in blah blah blah. If you take 16 socks, and add 3 oranges you get 2 pumpkins!
I never should have downloaded that program that was titled: freaky virus of nonsensical gibberish!
Error fixed!
finally.
LoopHole appeared!
That explains a lot of stuff!
This battle is full of loopholes!
Murdorous Pidgeot of death appeared!
He's no match for me now!
I'm Having chicken tonight!
Brandon used flamethrower!
But I can't breathe flame.....
Another loophole appeared!
What! Murdorous pidgeot is de-evolving!
Murdorous Pidgeot of Death De-Evolved into one toasted bird!
How come sometimes it's Murdorous pidgeot, and other times it's the full name?
...
Another loophole appeared!
Underneath your feet!
yahh!!!!!!
*thud* ouch, I'm gonna feel that in the morning. Where am I?
Sign appeared!
Welcome to the land of bad ideas, and failed first attempts!
SmokeMon! gotta smoke em all!
Um, no thanks.
Chokemon! gotta choke em all! Join in the psychotic fun!
Maybe later.
Another sign appeared!
Good ideas! thataway!
Thank goodness!
Brandon ran thataway!
I wonder what place this is!
Brandon is confused!
Since when!
Since the beginning of this battle!
No, that was an error message!
Narrator is confused!
Narrator beat up brandon in itís confusion!
How could a disembodied voice beat me up!
Narrator is really confused!
Lightbulb appeared!
Lightbulb used shine!
Narrator has an idea!
Narrator is confused!
Narrator sent out Charizard!
Charizard beat you up in narratorís confusion!
It isnít fair! I tell ya!
By illumina@graalmail.com

This battle is based on an anime I saw recently, Dragon Half. If you've seen this anime before it will be a lot easier to understand.

Battle12:Dragon Half


Player: Brandon
Narrator

Geez, this place is really weird. What's with all the weird slime monsters?
Slime mayor wants to fight!!
Why?
Because you called his people monsters!
oh, sorry about that.
slime still wants to fight!
Why? I just apoligized, didn't I?
Webmaster appears!
Webmaster says it wouldn't be a battle if there wasn't a fight!
Webmaster disappeared!
alright, fine. I want to fight!
Mayor Slime wants to fight!
Mayor Slime sent out Mayor slime!
Mayor slime's name is too long!
Narrator used rename!
Mayor slime has been renamed!
to what?
M. slime!
oh, well that's another minute, and 20 seconds that Iíll never get back.
Brandon sent out Dragonite!
I thought you said I didn't have dragonite!
The webmaster decided that you should have a dragonite!
Alright, I've got a dragonite!
M. slime used suffocate!
M. slime is suffocating dragonite!
Dragonite breathe fire!
Dragonite, use your breathe fire attack!
It's super effective!
M. Slime fainted!
What? M. Slime is de-evolving!
M. slime de-evolved into majorly toasted marshmallow!
Dragonite recieved 3 exp. pts.!
Brandon recieved people potion!
People Potion?! How wierd.
Mink appeared!
Who's that?
The star of dragon half!
What does the anime, Dragon half, have to do with a pokebattle?
Read the title!
oh. I see.....
Mink wants-
A fight?
no!
Mink wants the people potion!
Why?
Long story.
ok, I'll fight you for it!
.....!
well?
......!
Mink wants to fight!
How come I can't start a fight!
Mink sent out mink!
Pikachu go!
The enemy is gonna toast you into a crisp! Go pikachu!
Pikachu is too cute!
Mink can't hurt such a cute creature!
great!
Mink can hurt you though!
um, uh, bye!
There's no escape from a trainer battle!
um, oh look what I found!
Brandon found a concert ticket!
Brandon used concert ticket!
It's super effective!
Mink: Alright!! now I can go to the dick saucer concert!
Mink ran away!
How come she can run away, and I cant!
......!
why do you say everything with an exclamation point at the end. You even say nothing with an exclamation point!
Brandon tripped!
uh oh, whoops! I dropped that wierd potion!
Brandon used people potion!
No, I didn't!
What? Pikachu is evolving!
Pikachu evolved into beautiful girl!
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
I always thought pikachu was a boy.....
Beautiful girl renamed herself!
Beautiful girl renamed herself larry!
Let me give you a hint, girl's rarely have boy names.
Larry renamed herself!
Larry was renamed kita!
kita, that's a nice name.
kita joined you!
in holy matrimony!
whoa! wait! I'm not ready for marriage!
Oh, then kita joined you!
on your quest to became the number 1 pokemon master!
however she's going to be the number 1 pokemon master!
not you!
I doubt it! she doesn't even have any pokemon!
Lv100 mewtwo appeared!
Mewtwo was caught by kita!
rats! Why do I have the feeling that the narrator has a weakness for pretty girls.
Charizard, Venusaur, and Blastoise appeared!
Kita effortlessly caught all 3!
yep, I was right.
At least I still have dragonite, and rattata!
Dragonite gained a level!
cool.
Dragonite is now level 21!
Dragonite flew away!
What! why!
You can only control pokemon up to level 20!
oh, great, now alls I got is this dinky rattata!
rattata is angry!
What? rattata is evolving!
Rattata evolved into traitorous gyarados!
Traitorous gyarados wants to mutinize!
uh oh...
By illumina@graalmail.com
copyright info: ©1993 ryuusuke mita/kadokawa shoten publishing co., LTD./victor entertainment, inc. licensed by victor entertaunment, inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This battle is based on someone else's concept and movie. I did not come up with the idea dragon half, I just based this battle on it.

Battle13:Back in School?


Player: Brandon
Narrator

Hey what happened to kita? And what about that traitorous gyarados!
The traitorous gyarados decided it would rather stalk you!
Kita is in pewter city beating the crap out of brock's pokemon!
Great, juuust great
Kita just got the boulder badge!
look, I don't need a constant report on what kita's doing.
Narrator is angry!
Narrator wants to fight!
fine. Go! um, rats I dont have any pokemon!
Webmaster used argue!
Webmaster is arguing with narrator!
It isn't a pokebattle without pokemon!
Webmaster used threaten!
Webmaster threatened narrator!
Webmaster: Give him a pokemon or you're fired!
It's super convincing!
Webmaster Disappeared!
Brandon recieved a bulbasaur!
That's it?!
It's a bulbasaur of DEATH!
Great!
Narrator sent out writer!
Go BulbaDeath!
Writer used Dumb Idea!
The dim light from the idea didn't effect BulbaDeath!
BulbaDeath use your strongest attack!
BulbaDeath somehow threw a knife!
in the wrong direction!
The knife goes up!
The knife goes down!
Bulbadeath died!
Why do so many pokemon die in the illumina version!
Writer doesn't like the sight of blood!
Writer fainted!
Narrator sent out Narrator!
oh yeah, I forgot you can send out yourself!
Go! Brandon!
Narrator used De-evolution spray!
What! Brandon is de-evolving!
nooooooo!!!!!
Brandon de-evolved into 9 year old!
um....
Teacher appeared!
Teacher says you should be in school!
but I'm a pokemon trainer!
Teacher:You can't be a pokemon trainer til you're 10 years old!
Teacher used teleportation!
It's cool to be in school!
Yeah right!! lemme outta here!
Teacher used detention!
It's super effective!
That reminds of that show! Detention! it doesn't matter what we do or say! cause the teachers always get their way! when-
Everyone is staring at you!
oh um, sorry.
It's 3:00!
yay!
now I better try to become 10 again!
too bad the teacher took my gameshark.
I've still got my wierd machine though!
Brandon has been game boy-e-yized!
let's see, er start, go to pokemon, I need 35 more experience!
I'll KO a couple pidgeys, and be right back outta school!
Pidgey appeared!
That's convenient!
Brandon use your hit attack!
Brandon is hitting on pidgey!
no! ewwww, take that!
Brandon grabbed pidgey!
Brandon hurled pidgey over the horizon!
Pidgey fainted!
Brandon recieved 34 exp. points!
Oh the humanity!!!! so close and yet so far!
Brandon is insane!
Hey! how did that screwy narrator get into the gameboy!
Brandon recieved 700000 exp. pts!
Brandon grew to level 70!
What! brandon is evolving!
Brandon evolved into 70 year old!
what, noooo, must find de evolution spray, er what was I doing! oh yeah!
Brandon found de-evolution spray!
What brandon is de-evolving!
Brandon de-evolved into 69 year old!
this could take a while.
Several hours later!
Brandon de-evolved into 10 year old!
*kaff* *kaff* too much *cough* spray. not enough *hack* oxygen.
Brandon fainted!
Send out your next pokemon?
By illumina@graalmail.com

Battle14:Anyone have a really good idea?


Player: Webmaster
Narrator

Brandon appeared!
I wish someone had a good idea for a battle.
Brandon: I have an idea!
What I really need is a great idea!
Brandon: I said, I have an idea!
Does anyone here have a great idea!
Brandon: Me!
Darn, no one has a good idea.
Brandon: I brandon have an idea!!!
I guess a bad idea is better than nothing.
Brandon's anger greatly rose!
What is it?
Brandon: I was supposed to get the vermilion badge a long time ago.
Alright, I'm getting it. You need money so you make counterfeit Vermilion Gym Badges, and sell them!
Brandon: Arrrrggggghhhhh!! I want the vermilion badge!!!
Fine! stop being such a baby about it.

New player: Brandon
Kita has caught up to you!
I know that! She's right next to me!
I need to get the badge, but I don't have any pokemon.
Kita: I'll let you have my pikachu!
thanks, but I've heard Lt.Surge has a raichu, and theres no way a pikachu could beat a raichu!
kita: didn't you ever watch the episode where ash beat lt. surge with a pikachu!
Hey! how did you watch all of the pokemon episodes! You've only been human for 13 days!
Kita: I don't know, The knowledge was just beamed into my head.
More proof that aliens are performing strange experiments on us.
Kita: do you need more proof! Remember when you ate that small gumdrop thing attached to the fishing hook that was just floating in mid air, and your hand started to turn into tentacles!
fine, fine, Let's just go into the gym! we've been standing here looking boldly defiant, and certain of victory for about 10 minutes.
Brandon, and kita are at the vermilion gym!
I know that!
Kita creamed the lt.'s pokemon!
Lt. Surge wants to fight?
It looks like there's something wrong with that sentence.
How dry I am! *hic* how dry I am! *hic*
I thought narrators weren't supposed to get drunk!
Replacement narrator appeared!
I am Ann O. Voice
What's the O stand for?
Oying
but that would make AnnOying Voice! oh great.
did ya ever hear the one about the cow and the chickens!
No, and I'm sure I never want to.
Um can we go fight surge now? we've been having this stare down for about 15 minutes.
Lt. Surge wants to fight! Fight! Fight!
um, okaaaaay.
Lt surge sent out (big surprise) Raichu!
I think I liked the old narrator better.
Pikachu use whatever attacks that other pikachu used in that other episode!
Pikachu Used Thunder!
No don't use the attacks that that other pikachu used when he lost!
It's super de duper effective!
Raichu fainted!
Aren't you forgetting something?
oh yeah, er,
It's a two hit wonder!
Two hit?! close enough.
You recieved the thunder badge!
Great!
Spaceship appeared!
Oh no! The webmaster actually made something we said earlier come true!
What will happen to our heros! Will they survive! Only Time will tell!
Shut up!
By illumina@graalmail.com

Battle15:Plotless in seattle,er, I mean Celadon city


Player: Brandon
Narrator

Alien appeared!
That's pretty obvious, seeing as how there's a spaceship right in front of me!
Alien1: take us to your leader!
Alien2: *whispering* james! stop fooling around!
Alien2: We are going too blow up your planet unless you give us your pikachu!
No way team rocket!
Alien1: No way!
Alien2: how did he see through our disguises?!!
That's a stupid question! Your disguise is jeans, a t-shirt that says alien on it, and a freaky plastic mask!
Alien1 took off mask!
yah it's horrible put it back on!
James: How dare you make fun of me!
Alien 2 took off mask!
Jessie: We're here to take your pokemon!
James: Prepare for trouble!
Jessie: make it double!
Hey you got it reversed, and besides the readers will view you saying the motto as a cheesy way to take up space on a pokebattle!
Jessie: Never make fun of the motto!
James: Now we're going to take your pokemon!
What! you mean my pikachu, and her rattata.
Kita: what do you mean?!
*whispering*just play along
Kita: oh yeah that's right my other pokemon ran away!
James: Sigh why do we always find the people who have weak pokemon!
Jessie: you're not worth the trouble!
James & Jessie: we're running off again!
James:Hey jessie can I keep the tutu that I was going to use in plan B?
I guess that would be the end of this battle.
Kita: but we're still here.
That's srange
The webmaster's idea must have bombed.
Kita: I guess we should head for celadon city.
Kita walked to celedon city!
What about me?
You had to tie your shoe!
And she was able to get there that fast!
Your other shoe is untied!
I don't care!
fine, You tripped to celadon city!
ouchie, I'm going to be hurting for a week!
Kita: Now what?
hmmm, I don't know. It's so strange when there's no plot.....
It's a good thing the narrator is providing some humor.
Kita and brandon sitting in a tree!
Which is starting to run dry.
Let's go to the gym.
Brandon and kita won rainbow badges.
so boring.....
Brandon fainted!
Kita fainted !
Webmaster fainted!
Narrator fainted!
yah!, I had a dream where the webmaster ran out of ideas, and everyone fainted!
??????: Prepare for trouble!
This battle is over!
Webmaster: gasp, barely able to fill minimum battle requirement!
Webmaster fainted!
By illumina@graalmail.com

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