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The Fall of Sloth
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle #36: Final Blast Off December 15, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: James from Team Rocket [Record: 5-4-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Pikachu (Tournament #2)
Why has it been so quiet around here lately?
JESSIE says all of the other trainers went off to stop Emperor Sloth!
Oh… well that's pretty foolish of them.
DARKSLOTH appeared!
Ah! Hello fellow evil-doer. You've undergone a name change...
DARKSLOTH says he joined the dark side!
Well, how about joining Team Rocket as well?
JESSIE tells DARKSLOTH that the team would be honored to have him among them!
DARKSLOTH says he has no intentions of sharing his power!
But… if you don't want to join us, then why are you…?
DARKLUKE appeared!
DEATH appeared!
DARKSLOTH wants to fight!
Uh oh.
Ally JESSIE wants to fight!
DARKLUKE wants to fight!
DEATH wants to fight!
Yeah I got the idea… everyone wants to fight.
Geodude, go!
Go! GEODUDE!
Ally JESSIE sent out ARBOK!
DARKLUKE sent out LIGHT SABER!
DEATH sent out SERIAL KILLER!
DARKSLOTH sits back and watches!
Bah! And you claimed you wanted to fight!
Geodude, Rock Throw!
GEODUDE used ROCK THROW!
Enemy LIGHT SABER used HOME RUN SWING!
ROCKS were knocked away!
Hmmm…
GEODUDE was knocked off the stage!
This isn't Pokémon, it's Smash Brothers!
ARBOK used WRAP!
SERIAL KILLER can't move!
Keep him distracted, Jessie! I'll take care of Luke here.
Go! JIGGLYPUFF!
Okay, Jiggler… attack!
JIGGLYPUFF used TAUNT!
JIGGLYPUFF says 'JIGGLYPUFF'!
Right… uhh okay I think the enemy's intimidated now…
Enemy LIGHT SABER used POKE!
JIGGLYPUFF is deflating!
NOOO!!! JIGGLYPUFF, RETURN!!
JIGGLYPUFF, come back!
It's been ages since I let Meowth out of its Poké Ball…
...but I guess I don't have much choice.
Do it! MEOWTH!
MEOWTH joined DARKLUKE!
TRAITOR!!!
I'll fight you myself, Luke!
Go! JAMES!
Hey… I have an idea…
You joined DARKLUKE!
Ah ha… now I'm on your side!
DARKLUKE rejects you!
*Sniff* Nobody likes me…
Enemy SERIAL KILLER used SHAKE!
ARBOK lost its grip!
Uh oh. Heads up, Jessie!
Ally JESSIE ran away!
NO WAY!! Not again!
DARKSLOTH grins!
Uhh… WAIT FOR ME, JESSIE!
DARKSLOTH used POKé BALL!
You were caught!
It's not fair!!
DARKSLOTH says you must obey him from now on!
...and if I don't?
DARKSLOTH says you will because you are a low-level Pokémon!
How humiliating...
Battle #37: Insurrection December 22, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Emperor Sloth [Record: 4-0-1] Last Battle: Win vs. James (Battle #36)
Ah… finally my dreams of world conquest have come true.
...and I've captured so many new Pokémon and trainers in the process!
Go! PIKACHU!
Pikachu, hmm? One of the more popular Pokémon, aren't you?
PIKACHU is angry!
Don't bother trying to escape, Pikachu. Controlling low-level Pokémon like you is child's play for me.
PIKACHU says it's a trainer!
Bah! Don't make me laugh. You? A trainer?
PIKACHU wants to fight!
Fine then. Prepare to die!
PIKACHU sent out MISSING NO.!
What? It really is a trainer!
I'll use my other prisoners against it.
Do it! POKé MAN!
Enemy MISSING NO. used GLITCH!
POKé MAN malfunctioned!
Bah! He's useless!
POKé MAN, come back!
Go! JAMES!
James, destroy that Missing No.!
JAMES used ROCKET PUNCH!
Figures…
Enemy MISSING NO. used LEVELUP!
Enemy MISSING NO. grew to level 1999!
Uh oh… better watch out for the L2K glitch heh heh…
It's super effective!
What? LEVELING UP??
JAMES fainted!
Argh! I haven't had time to properly train all these new Pokémon.
...and my two allies aren't anywhere nearby. I have to finish this myself.
Get'm, RED WARRIOR!
Okay Red, kill that thing!
RED WARRIOR needs food, badly!
NO! I knew I should have fed him this morning...
Enemy MISSING NO. used FREEZE!
An ice attack?
GAMEBOY FROZE!
Ha! That didn't do much good! Red Warrior, finish it!
….
Uhh… Red?
….
Pikachu?
….
Anyone?
….
Great. No narration. Hmm… how do I reset the game?
….
HELLO? Oh almighty Webmaster, if you can hear me, I wish to reset the game!
GAMEBOY was reset!
Ahh… finally.
NEW GAME or CONTINUE?
Continue of course.
Now, let's finish this where we left off.
PIKACHU is no longer in your party!
What? NO! It must have slipped away while the game was frozen!
That no-good conniving Pokétrainermon!
...well, it shouldn't be too hard to track it down. I am the ruler of the world, after all… mwa ha ha ha!
The First Poké Battles Fanfic takes place right after battle #37
1999 Finale:
Battle #38: End of an Empire December 31, 1999
Setting: Game / Reality
Player: Da Evolution Man [Record: 8-2-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Poké Man (Battle #31)
Mwa ha ha! I am the ruler of the universe! Nobody can stop me!!
DARKSLOTH says he doesn't appreciate being mocked!
Well, then I suppose you want to fight.
DARKSLOTH wants to know how you found his hideout!
I just kind of appeared here.
Ally PIKACHU appeared!
Ally BOB appeared!
Yeah, like that.
DARKSLOTH is angry!
Enemy DARKLUKE appeared!
Enemy DEATH appeared!
Oh… 3-on-3, eh Slothful One?
DARKSLOTH says your time is over!
Oh, I don't know about that…. Bob! Do it now!!
BOB used DE-EVOLUTION SPRAY!
What? PIKACHU is de-evolving!
Aaaah! You missed!
PIKACHU de-evolved into PICHU!
BOB!! What were you thinking??
BOB says he was sick of waiting for Gold and Silver to be released in the U.S.!
Arrrrgh! Gimme that spray!
You got the DE-EVOLUTION SPRAY!
Here goes nothing, Luke!
You used DE-EVOLUTION SPRAY!
What? DARKLUKE is de-evolving!
YES! It's working!
DARKLUKE de-evolved into LUKE!
Luke! Join us in our fight against Emperor Sloth!
LUKE broke ALLIANCE with DARKSLOTH!
LUKE allied with you!
DARKSLOTH is furious!
DARKSLOTH wants to fight!
It's about time.
Player: Death [Record: 3-1-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Jessie (Battle #36)
It would appear that you are losing your edge, Emperor Sloth.
DARKSLOTH says to stop complaining and help him out!
Hmph. After all I've done for you, you still treat me no better than your prisoners.
DARKSLOTH says you can discuss it with him later!
Alright, FINE! I'll take care of the traitor.
LUKE wants to fight!
PICHU wants to fight!
Blast! I am sick and tired of being outnumbered!
It's time to finally show off my true power…
Go! PHANTOM!
I can't wait to see you try and fight that thing!
LUKE sent out OBI-WAN!
PICHU sent out MISSING NO.!
Grr… that Missing No. is going to cause some problems…
Phantom, deal with Luke quickly!
PHANTOM used MENACE!
Enemy OBI-WAN is in the PHANTOM MENACE!
That's delightfully ironic, Phantom--but completely useless!
Use an attack that DOES something next time!
Enemy MISSING NO. used METRONOME!
Enemy MISSING NO. used MENACE!
PHANTOM is in the MISSING NO. MENACE!
Well that was pointless.
Enemy OBI-WAN used THE FORCE!
PHANTOM was FORCED to be in the PHANTOM MENACE!
Will you please stop beating that joke into the ground??
It wasn't even funny the first time!
PHANTOM used SOULTAKER!
OBI-WAN lost its soul!
That's better, Phantom!
OBI-WAN fainted!
Enemy MISSING NO. used ANNIHILATE!
Ergh… how many attacks does that Missing No. have, anyway?
It's super effective!
PHANTOM fainted!
This time, you won't be so lucky…
Player: Luke Skywalker [Record: 2-2-2] Last Battle: Win vs. James (Battle #36)
DEATH sent out DEATH!
I wonder if my newly-caught Meowth will be of any use against him…
Go! MEOWTH!
MEOWTH joined DEATH!
Traitor!
DEATH says it is you who are the traitor!
I betrayed no one! Prepare to die, Death!
Do it! LUKE!
I'm not going to risk using the force…
...but maybe I can use scare tactics instead.
*ahem* … hey Death, I've got news for you!
DEATH says to save it for after he kills you!
I AM YOUR FATH- … eh? After you kill me?
Enemy DEATH used KILL!
OW!
You died!
Now that I'm dead, I've got news for you!
DEATH says hurry up and tell him!
I AM YOUR FATHER!! HAHAHAHAHA!
It didn't affect enemy DEATH!
Noooooooo….
MISSING NO. used METRONOME!
MISSING NO. used KILL!
DEATH fainted!
Hey! How come I had to die but Death just fainted??
…
WELL?
Player: Bob "That Guy" Smith [Record: 2-5-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Death (Battle #34)
This is it, then. Your evil ambitions have come to nothing, Sloth.
DARKSLOTH says he doesn't think so!
DARKSLOTH sent out CAPTAIN PETE!
You've got to be kidding me.
Go! CLEFAIRY!
Ally EVOLUMAN sent out VENOMOTH!
What're you using that worthless Venomoth for?
VENOMOTH used VENOM!
CAPTAIN PETE fainted!
Hey… you've been doing some training, eh Evoluman?
EVOLUMAN says you shouldn't underestimate him!
DARKSLOTH sent out RED WARRIOR!
Clefairy, go ahead and use some move that doesn't really exist.
CLEFAIRY used POWERSTRIKE!
Yeah, that'll do.
Critical hit!
He didn't faint. Brace yourself, Clefairy!
Enemy RED WARRIOR used TURBO ATTACK!
Clefairy fainted!
Argh! I guess I have to do this myself now...
Go! BOB!
VENOMOTH used VENOM!
RED WARRIOR fainted!
Wow, that Venomoth's on a roll.
DARKSLOTH is furious!
He usually is…
DARKSLOTH sent out JAMES!
It's super effective!
What? Just sending him out was super effective??
You are afraid of Team Rocket!
No! It's not true!
Enemy JAMES used-
Aaaaaah!!
BOB ran away!
Player: Emperor Sloth [Record: 4-1-1] Last Battle: Loss vs. Pikachu (Battle #37)
Looks like it's down to just you and me, eh Evolution Man?
PICHU wants to fight!
What? No! Death's been defeated??
PICHU sent out MISSING NO.!
I don't stand a chance unless I can defeat that Missing No… but how?
Enemy VENOMOTH used VENOM!
JAMES fainted!
Argh!! That Venomoth is beginning to irritate me!
Poké Man, it's your turn!
Go! POKé MAN!
Use your fly attack on the Venomoth… and put all your strength into it!
POKé MAN flew up high!
POKé MAN flew away!
NOOOOOOO!!!!
KASPAROV, GET'M!
The enemy's strong! Get'm, KASPAROV!
KASPAROV demands that you release him!
What? How dare you challenge me! I'm Emperor Sloth!
KASPAROV is walking away!
Come back here!
OAK appeared!
Huh? I thought he was dead!
OAK: DARKSLOTH! I'm disappointed with you!
OAK: I came when I heard you took over the world, but when I got here you had already lost!
Huh? But I… I can't lose!
OAK: DARKSLOTH! Do you know why you lost?
OAK: You have forgotten to treat your Pokémon with trust and love! Without them, you can never become champion again!
NO!! I REFUSE TO GIVE UP!
Go! DARKSLOTH!
Now you shall feel my wrath!
DARKSLOTH used SLOTHIAN MISSILE!
OAK threw himself in front of SLOTHIAN MISSILE!
OAK fainted!
Uh oh….
Enemy MISSING NO. used METRONOME!
Enemy MISSING NO. used SLOTHIAN MISSILE!
Yeearrghh!!
Enemy VENOMOTH used VENOM!
*gasp* no… it can't be…
OAK recovered!
Great… just what I need.
OAK reveals his true identity!
OAK is actually BOB!
Looks like it's time for me to leave…
Couldn't escape!
Uhhh… help….
EVOLUMAN is angry!
PICHU is angry!
BOB is angry!
I don't feel so good…
DARKSLOTH fainted!
Battle #39: Late Arrival January 5, 2000
Setting: Game 0% / Reality 100% / Anime 0%
Player: Green Valkyrie [No Record]
Ah, we have finally arrived!
YELLOW ARCHER nods!
We should hurry and defeat that Evil Overlord we have been hearing about.
YELLOW ARCHER says that's a good idea!
LSLOTH appeared!
Aha! 'Tis thee, Lord Sloth! We have come to vanquish thee in combat!
LSLOTH says he doesn't know what you're talking about!
Don't play innocent with us! We know all about your schemes of taking over the world!
LSLOTH says you're mistaken!
Oh? How do you explain the large sign outside that says "Welcome to Slothian Kingdom"?
LSLOTH says another sloth did that!
I have not the time for your games. I want to fight!
LSLOTH says you can't start a fight on your own!
Watch me!
You want to fight!
LSLOTH is confused!
Good. Are you going to hurt yourself?
LSLOTH does NOTHING!
Curses! I hate it when confusion does not do anything.
Ally YELLOW ARCHER wants to fight!
Eh? Traitor!
Ally YELLOW ARCHER says she is helping you fight LSLOTH!
Ah… this narration is unclear with such things…
Prepare to be vanquished, Lord Sloth!
Go! GREEN VALKYRIE!
Ally YELLOW ARCHER sent out YELLOW ARCHER!
By the light of my blade, your death shall be swift!
GREEN VALKYRIE used MULTI-BLADE ARC!
You surely feel great pain now, Sloth. Do you surrender?
LSLOTH says he never wanted to fight in the first place!
Fool! How dare you continue to challenge us!
Ally YELLOW ARCHER used DOUBLE BOW!
What? How dare you-
Ally YELLOW ARCHER says she was attacking LSLOTH!
A thousand curses upon this cursed cursing narration!
Ally YELLOW ARCHER says to stop cursing!
I cannot believe that Lord Sloth is still standing!
Surrender now, Sloth--or I shall be forced to destroy you!
LSLOTH says he surrenders!
What? How dare you tell such a lie! I see the gleam of a fight in your Slothian face, and yet you dare mock me by pretending to surrender??
LSLOTH says he doesn't want to fight you!
And now, by the wonder of my might, your pain shall continue!
GREEN VALKYRIE used SKY LANCE!
He still stands, but I can tell he grows weaker.
Do you surrender now, Sloth?
LSLOTH nods humbly!
Cretin! How dare you defy me!
YELLOW ARCHER used BFG!
Excellent attack, Archer!
Critical hit!
Your life force is running out!
You traitor! This time you really did attack me!
YELLOW ARCHER says you were being unfair to LSLOTH!
What makes you say that?
YELLOW ARCHER says he's been waving a white flag of truce for awhile now!
A curse on thy head! I shall destroy you as I did Lord Sloth!
LSLOTH says he hasn't been destroyed!
Silence, cretin! I shall deal with you after I dispense with this traitor...
Battle #40: Shattered Alliance January 12, 2000
Setting: Game 10% / Reality 90% / Anime 0%
Player: Green Valkyrie [Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Lord Sloth (Battle #39)
YELLOW ARCHER, PREPARE TO DIE!!
RED WARRIOR appeared!
Eh? Ah, 'tis thee, noble ally. We have been betrayed.
RED WARRIOR wants to know why you were yelling 'PREPARE TO DIE' in all caps!
Because that wicked Yellow Archer has sided with the evil Lord Sloth!
RED WARRIOR says that LORD SLOTH isn't evil!
What? Are you in league with him too?
RED WARRIOR insists that he's telling the truth!
Hmm… where is the Blue Wizard?
RED WARRIOR says he was killed by DEATH!
Killed… by death?
RED WARRIOR says that DEATH was the evil ally of EMPEROR SLOTH!
I sense falsehood in your voice. It appears that I am the only uncorrupted hero remaining.
RED WARRIOR says you're making a big mistake!
I am terribly sorry, but it is thee who chose the ways of evil.
RED WARRIOR wants to fight!
YELLOW ARCHER wants to fight!
LORD SLOTH ran away!
Your evil friend has escaped for the moment, but his freedom shall not last long.
RED WARRIOR sent out RED WARRIOR!
YELLOW ARCHER sent out YELLOW ARCHER!
These Pokémon-style battles are so strange…
...fine then. I shall 'send out' myself as well.
Go! GREEN VALKYRIE!
Now Red Warrior, by the radiance of my blade, you shall die!
GREEN VALKYRIE used SKY LANCE!
Critical hit!
Weak, thou art.
Enemy YELLOW ARCHER says your old English is irritating!
Enemy YELLOW ARCHER shot you!
...with an arrow?
Yes!
...where has it hit me?
In your neck!
Then why have I not died?
You still have some HP remaining!
This makes no sense… but whatever.
Enemy RED WARRIOR used RUNE STONE!
Have you gone mad? That stone was designed to summon demons!
Enemy RED WARRIOR says that you leave him no choice!
RUNE STONE has ACTIVATED!
This will be a day you shall forever regret, Warrior!
ORANGE JULIUS appeared!
What? A new hero?
ORANGE JULIUS says he has arrived to help the forces of good!
Then I imagine that you would join with me, noble hero.
ORANGE JULIUS says he plans to join the RED WARRIOR!
What? But… I am fighting for a noble cause!
ORANGE JULIUS says you are fighting to murder an innocent sloth!
To the abyss with this! Poké Ball, go!
GREEN VALKYRIE used POKé BALL!
ORANGE JULIUS was caught!
You see, Red Warrior? Ultimately, he decided to join me!
Enemy RED WARRIOR is furious!
And now Red Warrior, by the hue of my shield, you shall die!
GREEN VALKYRIE used SKY LANCE!
RED WARRIOR fainted!
Go, Orange Julius!
Go! ORANGE JULIUS!
Yellow Archer, art thou feeling a bit… thirsty?
Enemy YELLOW ARCHER needs DRINK, badly!
Julius, give her what she needs.
ORANGE JULIUS used QUENCH!
Enemy YELLOW ARCHER is drinking!
Does anything taste funny, Archer?
Enemy YELLOW ARCHER says it tastes fine!
Blast! You were supposed to POISON it, Julius!
ORANGE JULIUS says you never told him to do that!
I'll do this myself!
ORANGE JULIUS good!
The enemy's refreshed! Get'm, GREEN VALKYRIE!
And now, by the beauty of my face, you shall die!
Enemy YELLOW ARCHER says she's sick of your egotistical battle cries!
Well I'm tired of you complaining all the time!
GREEN VALKYRIE used MULTI-BLADE ARC!
YELLOW ARCHER needs FOOD, badly!
And now…
YELLOW ARCHER ran away!
Once again the forces of justice have prevailed.
Now, by the update of this web site, you shall return next week for an all-new battle!
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