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Grip of Death
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle #46: The Bounty Hunter February 23, 2000
Setting: Game 30% / Reality 70% / Anime 0%
Player: Green Valkyrie [Record: 3-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Da Evolution Man (Tournament #4)
SALESMAN ran away!
Prepare to be vanquished in glorious combat, Slothful One!
LSLOTH wants to know why you're attacking him!
Art thou completely dense? You are the Evil Overlord of the Poké Battles Universe, are you not?
LSLOTH is NOT!
In that case… prepare to die!
LSLOTH doesn't want to fight!
You lie. By the terror of my battle cry, you shall perish!
LSLOTH turns his back and begins to SLOWLY WALK AWAY!
What is this? Some kind of trickery?
LSLOTH says he refuses to HARM anyone!
LSLOTH says he is LEAVING!
If you're so peace-loving, how do you explain what was happening to that Salesman?
LSLOTH says DEATH was responsible for that!
And you were just WATCHING??
LSLOTH says he is a PACIFIST!
He who would stand by and watch another die does not himself deserve to live!
I am fully convinced of your evil ways, Lord Sloth! Defend yourself or I shall cut you down where you stand!
LSLOTH wants to fight!
Alright then, you asked for it-- um… eh? You do?
LSLOTH sent out VENOSLOTH!
This should be very interesting then… go, Julius!
Go! ORANGE JULIUS!
Enemy VENOSLOTH used VENOS!
I have never seen such an attack…
ORANGE JULIUS fainted!
By the gods! A one hit K.O.!
LSLOTH offers to let you LEAVE!
What? Run away? NEVER!
By the fury of my blade, you shall pay!
Do it! GREEN VALKYRIE!
Let's see how you fare against this!
GREEN VALKYRIE used SKY LANCE!
It didn't affect enemy LSLOTH!
What? Impossible!
Enemy VENOSLOTH used SLOTHIAN VENOM!
GREEN VALKYRIE is about to die!
*gasp* How could such a harmless trainer be so powerful?
LSLOTH wants to know why you thought a harmless trainer was an EVIL OVERLORD!
Um… well I just wanted the bragging rights, you know?
I wanted to be able to tell people that I had defeated Lord Sloth.
It just sounds good.
LSLOTH is ENRAGED!
LSLOTH says you must die for being so EVIL!
No! Please, spare me, noble Sloth. I will join you and protect you if you allow me to live, Slothful One.
LSLOTH says you must become HIS WIFE!
By the gods! You cannot be serious!
PORTAL to BLUE VERSION opened!
POKéGIRL appeared!
POKéGIRL: OH DEAR LORD!
POKéGIRL ran away!
PORTAL to BLUE VERSION closed!
Um… what the…?
LSLOTH says you must DECIDE!
Forget it, Sloth! I can't believe I even considered giving in to you!
I'm running away for now, but you'll be seeing me again…
Couldn't escape!
Uh oh. Should've used that portal when I had the chance...
LSLOTH used POKé BALL!
Press A rapidly to escape!
What? I don't see any 'A' to press!
You were caught!
I can't believe this! Lord Sloth is just as evil as I claimed he was!
Battle #47: Mild Manners March 1, 2000
Setting: Game 10% / Reality 90% / Anime 0%
Player: Poké Man [Record: 3-3-2] Last Battle: Loss vs. Da Evolution Man (Battle #31)
BANK ROBBER appeared!
Geez! Don't these bank robbers have enough common sense not to appear in front of Super Heroes™?
Cease your evil crimes, Evil One! I have come to apprehend you!
BANK ROBBER says he hasn't done anything WRONG!
Oh really? Then why is your name 'Bank Robber'?
BANK ROBBER says he wanted his name to sound COOL!
So it's cool you want, eh? There are plenty of cool cells in the local prison.
BANK ROBBER was renamed INNOCENT CITIZEN!
I cannot be fooled by such changes in identity! You are clearly the mild-mannered alter-ego of BANK ROBBER!
INNOCENT CITIZEN says you just think that way because you have a secret identity as well!
What?? Er… um… that's not true! Mark Dent and I have been photographed together!
INNOCENT CITIZEN wants to fight!
Who? Me or Mark Dent?
INNOCENT CITIZEN wants to know if you're JOKING!
No of course not… I need to know who you challenged. After all, we ARE different people.
INNOCENT CITIZEN says he wants to fight MARK DENT!
Hmm… hold on a sec, I'll get him.
You ran away!
You were renamed to MARK DENT!
You appeared!
INNOCENT CITIZEN says that was unusually quick!
Erm… I was just passing through the area. Anyway, Poké Man has informed me that you want to fight me.
INNOCENT CITIZEN wants to know why POKé MAN didn't accompany you to the battle!
Um… want me to go ask him?
INNOCENT CITIZEN wants to fight!
Who? Poké Man?
You!
Fine. Go, me!
Go! MARK DENT!
INNOCENT CITIZEN sent out INNOCENT CITIZEN!
Let's see how you handle this!
MARK DENT used UNUSUALLY POWERFUL PUNCH!
It's super effective!
INNOCENT CITIZEN fainted!
Well, that was easy.
POLICEMAN appeared!
POLICEMAN wants to know why you assaulted an INNOCENT CITIZEN!
He's a bank robber in disguise. Check the Nickname Database and I'm sure you will find that-
POLICEMAN says there's no such thing as a NICKNAME DATABASE!
Well, all you need to do is ask Poké Man… I'm sure he'd know about this guy.
Want me to get him for you?
POLICEMAN says he can't let you out of his sight!
Well then, you must DIE!
POLICEMAN wants to fight!
Go! MARK DENT!
MARK DENT used HEAT VISION!
Whoops… that move's probably a giveaway…
POLICEMAN melted!
Melted? That's not good…
Um… bye!
You ran away!
Battle #48: Unwelcome Narration March 8, 2000
Setting: Game 40% / Reality 60% / Anime 0%
Player: Rab [Record: 2-1-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Da Evolution Man (Battle #44)
Hey Midgyo! I sold our cow for this new TM… the crazy old man said it's magic!
MIDGYO says it didn't know that you had a COW!
Er… well, I don't… not anymore anyway.
Alls I gotta do is teach you this TM and you'll be a powerful Pokémon!
MIDGYO says it won't work because it's not a POKéMON!
Then why is the narrator referring to you as an 'it'?
iRAB used its REASONING ABILITY!
But, it failed!
Um… never mind. Just learn the TM!
MIDGYO learned APOCALYPTIC FURY!
Hey, that sounds powerful!
I can't wait to find someone who I can try it on.
DEATH appeared!
He'll do. PREPARE TO DIE, DEATH!
DEATH says you are a fool to believe that you have a prayer of defeating him!
DEATH wants to fight!
DEATH sent out SERIAL KILLER!
Ha! I eat serial for breakfast!
Go, Midgyo!
Go! MIDGYO!
The crowd's excitement is building over this hot battle!
Huh? Oh GREAT, now I've gotta listen to the Pokémon Stadium narrator, too?
POKéMON STADIUM! Battle your Pokémon on the N64! Now available at retailers nationwide! Only on Nintendo 64! © 1995-2000 Nintendo
Oops… I triggered another one of those ads…
SERIAL KILLER used KILL!
SERIAL KILLER KILLED itself!
HA! I'm winning and I haven't even done anything yet!
That didn't take much!
Um… man, this new narrator is starting to freak me out.
DEATH sent out DEATH!
Midgyo, now's your chance! Use your Apocalyptic Fury!
MIDGYO used APOCALYPTIC FURY!
MIDGYO is FURIOUS!
And….?
...And the crowd's excitement is building over this hot battle!
Stupid old man! These beans he gave me are probably useless too!
iRAB threw BEANS at MIDGYO!
MIDGYO ate the BEANS!
Stupid Midgyo… they're probably poisoned.
What? MIDGYO is evolving!
MIDGYO evolved into MIDGYOTO!
Woohoo, now kill, Midgyoto!
DEATH used KILL!
MIDGYOTO died!
It's a one-hit wonder!
HA!! I've been eagerly awaiting the death of THAT particular Pokémon!
Thanks a lot, Death. Well, I'll see you later…
DEATH says he's not through with you yet!
Uh...
What Pokémon will he send out next?
Alls I gotta do is strangle that Stadium Narrator.
DEATH is APPROACHING!
Oh shoot…. Wait, there's a quit button in Stadium, right?
Well, I QUIT!
iRAB ran away!
DEATH is following in PURSUIT!
What?? I've never seen THAT happen before!
Battle #49: Flight from Death March 15, 2000
Setting: Game 10% / Reality 90% / Anime 0%
Player: Rab [Record: 2-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Death (Battle #48)
iRAB is breathing HEAVILY!
*Gasp* A whole week of running away… I'm exhausted…
RATATTA appeared!
Hey, I think I finally managed to escape Death! Woohoo!
*ahem* … RATTATA appeared!
Hmm? Is that some kind of Pokémon?
MS POKéDEX: Would you like to register your copy of POKéDEX 2000?
No! Just tell me if this thing's a Pokémon!
MS POKéDEX: Please read and agree to the following End User License Agreement.
Arrghh! As soon as I find the cretin who recommended this Microsoft Pokédex I'm going to hit him over the head with it!!
RATATTA wants to fight!
It's a trainer, huh? Go, Jeeves!
Go! JEEVES!
RATATTA sent out LARRY!
There's another Pokémon I haven't heard of…
...I'm not even gonna bother consulting that horrid Pokédex, either.
They're staring each other down!
Oh shoot! I thought that Stadium Narrator was there for only one battle!
The crowd's excitement is building over this hot battle!
The battle hasn't even started yet, you stupid rookie narrator!
DEATH appeared!
Aaah! Death has found me!
RATATTA ran away!
iRAB wins!
Um… woohoo…
LARRY is grateful for his FREEDOM!
LARRY allied himself with you!
Yes! Maybe now I can defeat Death!
DEATH wants to fight!
DEATH sent out DEATH!
Jeeves, you're already out!
Alls ya gotta do is turn around!
JEEVES is TURNING!
Ally LARRY sent out LARRY!
Ally LARRY used PLASMA BLAST!
That looks powerful…
It didn't affect enemy DEATH!
Uh oh…
Enemy DEATH used KILL!
Ally LARRY died!
ARGHH!! This is so stupid! Everyone who fights Death dies!
Enemy DEATH turned its attention toward YOU!
*sob* I'm too young to die…
JEEVES is fully TURNED!
Took you long enough!!
Enemy DEATH used SOULTAKER!
It didn't affect JEEVES!
Ha! Jeeves has no soul!
Jeeves, use your ASK attack!
JEEVES used ASK!
JEEVES asked DEATH the meaning of LIFE!
Man, Jeeves sure does have some useless attacks…
DEATH says the meaning of LIFE is for people to DIE!
Um… Jeeves, return!
JEEVES, enough!
Look… um… Deathie old pal, can't we work something out?
Enemy DEATH is INFURIATED at being called DEATHIE!
Go, me!
The enemy's invincible! Get'm, iRAB!
Enemy DEATH is building energy for its next attack!
Heh heh… Item PokéDex - GO!
iRAB threw MS POKéDEX!
HAHAHAHA! DIE, DEATH!
It's super affective!
DEATH is HORRIFIED!
MS POKéDEX performed an ILLEGAL OPERATION!
Enemy DEATH will be SHUT DOWN!
Enemy DEATH is paralyzed! It may not attack!
YES!! Ultra Ball, go!
iRAB used ULTRA BALL!
iRAB caught DEATH!
Yeeha! Makes me wanna SING!
iRAB breaks into SONG!
I wanna be… the very best...
No one ever was…
To catch Death was my real test, to train it is my cause…
iRAB's DIGNITY greatly fell!
I will travel across the land…
Searching far and wide…
For rivals to kill, and badges to win, with Death at my side…
The crowd's excitement is building over this hot battle!
Pokémon! Gotta kill 'em all! ('cept you and me)
I know it's my destiny…
Pokémon! Oh, you're my best friend... the world's coming to an end…
iRAB needs HELP!
Pokémon! Gotta kill 'em all! (Alls I gotta do…)
Our courage will pull us through...
You teach me how to kill you… Po… ké… mon!
Gotta kill 'em all, gotta kill 'em all, Pokémon!
What? iRAB is evolving!
iRAB evolved into iRAB 2.0!
Battle #50: Land of the Dead March 22, 2000
Setting: Where settings do not exist…
Player: Blue Wizard [Record: 0-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Death (Battle #28)
Hey, I thought I was dead!
WELCOME to the LAND OF THE DEAD!
We get our own land?
PORTAL to LIFE appeared!
Woohoo, looks like resurrection for me…
LUKE SKYWALKER appeared!
What're you doing here?
LUKE SKYWALKER wants to use PORTAL!
So?
PORTAL will only transport ONE PERSON!
And that will be me. So get out of my way, Luke.
LUKE wants to fight!
Oh for the love of- FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!
Go, me!
Go! BLUE WIZARD!
LUKE sent out LIGHT SABER!
The reason you got killed off, Luke, is because you're such a boring trainer. Every time you always sent out that stupid Light Saber.
Enemy LIGHT SABER's MORALE greatly fell!
It's just a WEAPON! It's not even a REAL weapon! How could it have low morale??
BLUE WIZARD has a POINT!
Oops.
Enemy LIGHT SABER is HAPPY!
BUT HOW COULD IT BE-
Enemy LIGHT SABER used SLASH!
Yyearrgh… now you must die…
ROMEO MUST DIE! Now playing in theaters everywhere!
Must kill sell-out narrator…
BLUE WIZARD used POWERFUL MAGIC!
LIGHT SABER fainted!
LUKE died!
I don't even want to think about what happens to someone who dies when they're already dead…
BLUE WIZARD is THINKING about it!
I am not your puppet, you infernal narrator!
BLUE WIZARD lifted its LEFT ARM!
What the-? STOP THAT!
BLUE WIZARD lifted both legs off the GROUND!
BLUE WIZARD's body is spinning in circles in MIDAIR!
*sob* I'm sorry great Narrator. I shall not speak ill of thee again…
BLUE WIZARD was DROPPED to the GROUND!
At least I can now return to life…
MIDGYOTO appeared!
Isn't that a Pokémon?
MIDGYOTO says it's a dead TRAINER!
I suppose you want to return to life as well, then.
MIDGYOTO wants to fight!
Ugh… go, me!
OAK: BLUE WIZARD! This is not the time to use that!
What?? Oh man, I forgot Oak was dead…
Look, Oak--I just want to defend myself against Midgyoto, alright?
There's no will to fight!
Yes there is! I want to return to life!
BLUE WIZARD gave up!
LET… ME… FIGHT!!!
BLUE WIZARD unleashed TERRIBLE POWERS!
OAK died!
There. Go, me!
Get'm, BLUE WIZARD!
MIDGYOTO sent out MIDGYOTO!
Enemy MIDGYOTO called you a SON OF AN ONION!
What a lame attack… why did you waste a move insulting me, anyway?
Enemy MIDGYOTO says the PEN is mightier than the SWORD!
HA! HAHAHAHAHA! Well, I happen to have a sword right here!
OAK: BLUE WIZARD! This is not the time to use that!
What the-?? How many times to I have to kill that guy??
Enemy MIDGYOTO jabbed you in the eye with a PEN!
yyyyyyyaarrrrrghhhhhh!!!
Enemy MIDGYOTO calls you a SON OF AN ONION!
Whew. That's a relief. No more pain for me.
MIDGYOTO went through PORTAL!
Noooo… *sigh* … I guess I'll have another chance in battle #100, right?
…
...right…?
SINGLE AUDIENCE MEMBER used COUGH!
JAR-JAR BINKS appeared!
This is gonna be a long eternity… *sob*
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