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Crossover Crisis
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle #61: Crossing Over June 7, 2000
Setting: Game 20% / Reality 80% / Anime 0%
Player: Bob "That Tree Guy" Smith [Record: 3-6-0]
Last Battle: Win vs. Tree (Battle #56)
Wild TREE appeared!
Mwa ha ha ha ha! I no longer fear the trees!
BOB sent out TREE!
My level 82 Tree is unstoppable!
Enemy TREE used FALL!
Apples fell on TREE!
It's not very effective…
TREE! Use Branch Toss!
TREE used BRANCH TOSS!
Enemy TREE was impaled by a BRANCH!
Enemy TREE fainted!
Yes!
BOB wins!
TREE gained 640 exp. Points!
TREE grew to level 83!
Man, this Forest of No Return is an experience goldmine!
Alright, who's up next?
POKé MAN appeared!
Ah, greetings Poké Man! What brings you to the Forest forest forest of No Return return return?
POKé MAN says it's disturbing how your voice echoes when you say that!
Noted.
POKé MAN also says that RED DOOMPUFF is on its way HERE!
Relax. We're surrounded by TREEs. Nothing can get in here.
POKé MAN points out that RED DOOMPUFF is FLYING!
Uh oh.
RED DOOMPUFF appeared!
POKé MAN reluctantly STEPS FORWARD to fight it!
Oh shoot… we're gonna die, aren't we?
POKé MAN nods!
RED DOOMPUFF snaps a TREE in half just for FUN!
Poké Man! You wait here--I'll go get help!
POKé MAN says to HURRY!
RED DOOMPUFF begins to CHEW on POKé MAN!
I know… I'll use the Shrine of Webmaster to travel to Aqua Version…
WEBMASTER! OPEN THE PORTAL!
PORTAL to AQUA VERSION appeared!
BOB traveled to AQUA VERSION Battle #55!
Player: Poké Man [Record: 4-4-2]
Last Battle: Loss vs. Red Doompuff (Battle #60)
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF is CHEWING on your ARM!
Argh… hmm… maybe my X-Ray vision will reveal a weakness…
POKé MAN used X-RAY VISION!
POKé MAN sees a SKULL AND CROSSBONES!
What the-? Was that actually Doompuff's skeleton… or…?
Your ARM is losing all FEELING!
Better ditch the Doompuff--superspin attack!
POKé MAN used SUPERSPIN!
RED DOOMPUFF didn't lose its GRIP!
What the-?
RED DOOMPUFF developed IMMUNITY to SUPERSPIN!
How can that be possible??
POKé MAN needs BLOOD, badly!
Ughh… vision… fading… can't resist… any longer…
Bob… where……are ….. you……?
CITIZEN appeared!
CITIZEN sees RED DOOMPUFF!
CITIZEN screams!
Player: Bob "That Tree Guy" Smith [Record: 3-6-0]
Last Battle: Win vs. Tree (Battle #56)
You appeared!
Citizen! I need to warn you… Doompuff is here too--
RED DOOMPUFF is using CITIZEN as a TOOTHPICK!
*gulp* … hey, Poké Man… you around?
RAGGED BREATHING escapes from POKé MAN's body!
Ack! I didn't realize that I was standing on you…
POKé MAN struggles to STAND!
RED DOOMPUFF is snacking on TREEs in the MEANTIME!
Aqua Version's useless to us… there's another Doompuff there so I wasn't able to get much help…
POKé MAN says that CITIZEN probably saved his LIFE!
How so?
POKé MAN says that CITIZEN's BLOOD splashed on him when he died!
Yeah…?
POKé MAN says that it was like getting a BLOOD TRANSFUSION!
Is that even possible??
FUSHIGI YŰGI VOLUME 2! Now on sale at Cinemazone.com!
Oh gimme a break! There's no WAY that anyone will get that joke!
...hey, why do you suppose that Red Doompuff's giving us such a long break?
POKé MAN doesn't KNOW!
Neither does RED DOOMPUFF!
RED DOOMPUFF wants to devour!
That does it, then--I haven't been training my tree these past few weeks for nothing… time to make a stand!
TREE, go!
Go! TREE!
RED DOOMPUFF sent out RED DOOMPUFF!
Tree--use your Branch Toss attack!
TREE used BRANCH TOSS!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF ate the BRANCH!
Uh oh…
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF used INFLATE!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF is getting bigger!
Ha! What a waste of a turn!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF looked at NARRATOR!
TREE fainted!
Noooooo!!! We're dead, Poké Man!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF prepares to KILL!
Ally TREE is protecting you!
Ally TREE is protecting you!
Ally TREE is protecting you!
It's a miracle! The other TREEs of the forest are gathering around us to protect us from Doompuff!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF snaps TREE in half!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF snaps TREE in half!
Uh… Poké Man… time to RUN!
POKé MAN agrees!
POKé MAN ran away!
BOB ran away!
RED DOOMPUFF is frustrated!
Battle #62: Slothian Revelations June 14, 2000
Setting: Game 30% / Reality 70% / Anime 0%
Player: Lord Sloth [Record: 2-2-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Green Valkyrie (Battle #46)
LSLOTH is pacing back and forth!
Hnnn…. Another slow day…
RED DOOMPUFF appeared!
Ah yes. I hear you've been devouring many people lately.
RED DOOMPUFF says you're next!
Come now. You know I am a pacifist. Leave me alone and I shall do likewise.
RED DOOMPUFF wants to know why you're a PACIFIST!
Perhaps because I see the futility in fighting.
RED DOOMPUFF says it has been doing some RESEARCH!
Really? And I had imagined you simply brainless, drooling creature that kills things…
RED DOOMPUFF believes you are guarding something SECRET!
Is that so?
RED DOOMPUFF says that there's no better way to guard something than to avoid making ENEMIES!
I think you're reading too deeply into this.
RED DOOMPUFF wants to fight!
Well, I don't.
RED DOOMPUFF is upset!
RED DOOMPUFF begins to search the ENVIRONS!
Environs?
RED DOOMPUFF stepped on a LEVER!
Uh oh.
PORTAL TO EARTH appeared!
NO!! IT FOUND IT!
LSLOTH dove in front of PORTAL!
You'll have to go through me first! Go, Venosloth!
RED DOOMPUFF laughs MANIACALLY!
RED DOOMPUFF wants to maim!
RED DOOMPUFF sent out MEOWTH!
Meowth? What the-?
Enemy MEOWTH joined you!
RED DOOMPUFF calls MEOWTH a traitor!
That was strange…
Venosloth, quick--use your VENOM attack!
Go! VENOSLOTH!
RED DOOMPUFF sent out RED DOOMPUFF!
VENOSLOTH used VENOM!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF ate the VENOM!
Uhh…
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF recovered HP!
Did Doompuff ever actually LOSE any HP?
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF instantly devoured VENOSLOTH!
VENOSLOTH fainted!
Only 'fainted'? I'm surprised it didn't die…
So is RED DOOMPUFF!
RED DOOMPUFF is angry at the NARRATOR!
RED DOOMPUFF notices that NARRATOR'S VOICE is coming from the PORTAL!
RED DOOMPUFF moves toward PORTAL!
No! Wait! Uh… gotta think… gotta think…
RED DOOMPUFF instantly-
GO!! LEVER!!
-devours LEVER!
HA!
PORTAL TO EARTH vanished!
RED DOOMPUFF has been TRICKED!
RED DOOMPUFF is FURIOUS!
So long, Doomy--it's been fun!
LSLOTH dissolves into a PUDDLE!
LSLOTH disappears into a DRAIN!
RED DOOMPUFF couldn't give CHASE!
RED DOOMPUFF is GOING INSANE WITH RAGE!
RED DOOMPUFF wants to DESTROY!
RED DOOMPUFF destroyed LSLOTH's CASTLE!
I think it's time to pay a visit to a certain emperor that I once knew…
LSLOTH is going to visit EMPEROR SLOTH!
Darn it, Narrator - I was TRYING to be vague and mysterious!
NARRATOR says that it was pretty OBVIOUS!
Just keep it quiet… I don't want Doompuff to hear about where I'm going…
RED DOOMPUFF says IT HEARS ALL!
Aaaaaaah!!!!
Battle #63: Clash of the Evil Powers June 22, 2000
Setting: Game 10% / Reality 90% / Anime 0%
Player: Emperor Sloth [Record: 4-3-2] Last Battle: Loss vs. Narrator
Ow… why does my arm hurt so badly?
DARKSLOTH is still recovering from a TOOTHPICK WOUND!
How in the name of Doompuff did I end up with a toothpick wound??
RED DOOMPUFF appeared!
Speak of the devil…
DEVIL appeared!
DEVIL begins to DO BATTLE with DOOMPUFF!
That's strange--I would think they'd be on the same side…
LSLOTH appeared!
LSLOTH warns you that RED DOOMPUFF is on the way!
If you'll just look behind you, you'll see that you are a little late.
RED DOOMPUFF snapped DEVIL in half!
LSLOTH shrieks in TERROR!
LSLOTH says to gather the ROYAL SLOTHIAN FORCES!
Uhh…
LSLOTH says the RSF may be the world's only hope for survival!
Lord Sloth… we ARE the RSF.
LSLOTH wants to know what you MEAN!
I mean there are only two of us.
LSLOTH says you've been recruiting for MONTHS!
Yeah well… things didn't go as planned…
RED DOOMPUFF looks at LSLOTH!
LSLOTH's life expectancy greatly fell!
How noble of you to be the distraction, Lord Sloth. I'll be taking my leave, now…
Couldn't escape!
NO!
RED DOOMPUFF wants to fight!
Ally LSLOTH sent out GREEN VALKYRIE!
Ugh… I have no Pokémon… maybe if I stand perfectly still, Doompuff won't be able to see me.
DARKSLOTH attempts to BLEND IN with SURROUNDINGS!
Sigh… thanks for shouting, narrator…
GREEN VALKYRIE used SKY LANCE!
LANCE fell out of SKY!
LANCE stabbed RED DOOMPUFF!
Hey… is Lord Sloth actually going to win?
RED DOOMPUFF is DEFLATING!
Yes!!
RED DOOMPUFF fainted!
You did it, Lord Sloth! You've saved the world!!
LSLOTH says that seemed too easy!
Don't be so paranoid--you just found its weakness, that's all.
LSLOTH is inspecting DOOMPUFF's body!
RED DOOMPUFF was renamed RED DECOYPUFF!
Decoypuff… what the-?
LSLOTH says this isn't the REAL DOOMPUFF!
But… why would Doompuff send a decoy when it could devour us itself?
LSLOTH is THINKING about it!
...come to think of it, how did a decoy manage to snap the devil in half so easily? I'm starting to get the impression that the Narrator is making things up as he goes along…
LSLOTH realizes that the REAL DOOMPUFF must still be at LSLOTH's CASTLE!
What makes you say that?
LSLOTH thinks that RED DOOMPUFF might be trying to repair the PORTAL TO EARTH!
What in the name of Doompuff is an 'earth'?
LSLOTH says that the ALMIGHTY WEBMASTER lives there!
You mean… Doompuff could kill the Webmaster??
LSLOTH says you are correct!
Not that I really care…. Being evil and all… but uhh… I don't want our universe destroyed--then I won't be able to take it over.
LSLOTH says that might mean ALLYING with your former ENEMIES!
What?? You mean Da Evolution Man and his lackeys? You've got to be kidding me!
LSLOTH says that it's the world's only CHANCE!
Ugh… I'd sooner kill myself…
DARKSLOTH used KILL!
Aaah!! Alright, alright! I'll do it!
DARKSLOTH reversed the KILLING STROKE!
Hmm… I'll just take this decoy with me…
DARKSLOTH used POKé BALL!
RED DECOYPUFF was caught!
Would you like to give a nickname to RED DECOYPUFF?
Yes… name it RED DOOMPUFF… heh heh heh….
Poké Battles the Fanfic 2000 takes place after Battle #63.
Battle #64: Lost Scouts June 28, 2000
Location: Lord Sloth's Castle Ruins
Player: Beto Chávez from Earth [No Record]
Alright, troops--fall in!
BOY SCOUTS are ASSEMBLING!
Good then. The good news is that the Doompuff threat has been neutralized. Unfortunately, we seem to have stranded ourselves in this world.
BOY SCOUTS' MORALE greatly fell!
Hmm… besides that loud, booming voice that keeps announcing everything that happens, this world seems to be much like our own…
BETO is overestimating his KNOWLEDGE!
Man, I could really learn to hate that voice…
Now then, we need to focus on basic survival for the moment. That's what we excel at here in Boy Scouts.
BOY SCOUT #4 has to use the BATHROOM!
We don't have such luxuries here in the wilderness! Our first priority is to forage for food. That large sloth over there should do nicely for now.
DARKSLOTH is plotting to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
I'll handle this… with my trusty Swiss Army Knife!
BETO used STAB!
Critical hit!
DARKSLOTH is angry!
DARKSLOTH wants to know what you're DOING!
I'm killing you. You're just a sloth after all, and we need food.
Badly!
Um… right.
DARKSLOTH says you're supposed to announce that you want to battle BEFOREHAND!
What're you talking about? I'm just trying to kill you! Now hold still.
BETO used STAB!
DARKSLOTH wants to fight!
Fight? How does that work?
DARKSLOTH sent out DARKSLOTH!
Um… okay, whatever.
BETO used STAB!
Enemy DARKSLOTH is upset!
Enemy DARKSLOTH accuses you of cheating!
How do you mean?
Enemy DARKSLOTH says you didn't send anything out!
Listen, pal--I don't know how things are done in this universe, but back on Earth, we simply kill things we want to eat. So quit complaining and die already!
Enemy DARKSLOTH is furious!
Enemy DARKSLOTH used SLOTHIAN MISSILE!
Aaaaaaahhh!!!
...what the-? Did I just survive a point-blank blast from a missile?
Enemy DARKSLOTH says that happens ALL THE TIME!
Strange. Well, time to continue killing, I suppose.
BETO used STAB!
Enemy DARKSLOTH fainted!
BETO gained 540 exp.!
BETO grew to level 22!
Good. One more solid stab and that should be the end of it.
OAK: BETO! This is not the time to use that!
What the-? Why can't I move my arm?
OAK: BETO! This is not the time to use that!
I- I know I can do this… but some unseen force is preventing me from finishing it off!
OAK: BETO! This is not the time to use that!
Arrrrgghh! Who is this Oak guy anyway?
OAK is SUPPOSED to be DEAD, but has been brought back to ANNOY trainers like YOU!
Well… where is he? How can he know what I'm doing if he's not here??
OAK sees ALL!
I don't like this universe…
BETO begins to CRY!
What? Hey! Stop controlling my *sob* actions!
BETO drops his SWISS ARMY KNIFE!
Huh? HEY! I NEED that!
BETO tripped and fell on the GROUND!
Arrghh! I can't control my own body anymore!
NARRATOR says it hasn't had this kind of fun in a LONG TIME!
*sob* Please have mercy…
NARRATOR says that here in RED VERSION, MERCY doesn't exist!
I want to go home…
> View/Post Comments on Battle #64
Battle #65: Doomed Doompuffs July 6, 2000
Location: Empty Void Between Red Version and Earth
Player: Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom [Record: N/A]
DOOM. WHERE DOES THIS PORTAL LEAD?
DOOMPUFF is TRAPPED in the PORTAL WORLD!
RABID! DOOM, RABID RABID!! LET ME OUT!
There is NO ESCAPE!
NARRATOR DIES! DOOM!
NARRATOR is safe from DOOMPUFF's attacks!
I WANT TO KILL! I NEED TO DEVOUR!
RED DOOMPUFF appeared!
EVIL! RABID PUFF JIGGLY DOOM! OF!
RED DOOMPUFF wants to devour!
I SEND OUT ME!
Go! DOOMPUFF!
DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!
DOOMPUFF used DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!
DOOMPUFF doesn't know that attack!
WHAT? NARRATOR DEFIES ME! NARRATOR MUST DIE!
NARRATOR is fully SAFE from your ATTACKS!
NARRATOR is now HAVING FUN!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF used SNAP!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF instantly snapped DOOMPUFF in half!
IMPOSSIBLE. I AM A ROUND, RABID PUFFBALL. I CANNOT BE SNAPPED IN HALF. DOOM!
DOOMPUFF is confused!
I AM NOT CONFUSED. I UNDERSTAND FULLY WHAT IS HAPPENING.
DOOMPUFF hurt itself in its confusion!
OW. WHY DID I JUST BITE MYSELF?
NARRATOR decreed it so!
NARRATOR is all-powerful!
THIS IS NOT FAIR. AQUA's NARRATOR BENDED BEFORE MY WILL.
DOOMPUFF is trapped in the PORTAL WORLD!
There's nothing DOOMPUFF can do to harm NARRATORS anymore!
I WANT TO DEVOUR!
DECOYPUFF floated by!
DEVOUR! DEVOUR!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF devoured DECOYPUFF!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF is HAPPY!
NO FAIR. THAT WAS MY KILL. RABID!
DOOMPUFF needs FOOD, badly!
YOU HAVE ANGERED ME. MY TEXT WILL NOW BECOME RED!
DOOMPUFF can't DO THAT!
Only NARRATOR's text can be RED!
TOO BAD. NOW I SHALL NARRATE.
DOOMPUFF is cheating!
DOOMPUFF ate food!
DOOMPUFF recovered HP!
No it DIDN'T!
Yes it DID!
NARRATOR says this is confusing!
NARRATOR also says that this is COMPLETELY fair!
What? I never said that!
YES you DID!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF destroyed DOOMPUFF!
DOOMPUFF was resurrected!
DOOMPUFF died!
DOOMPUFF came back to LIFE!
NARRATOR died!
NO I DIDN'T!
Which one of us is talking right now?
I don't even know anymore.
THIS IS NOT FUN ANYMORE. I WANT TO KILL!
Enemy RED DOOMPUFF is sinking its FANGS into you!
THAT CANNOT HAPPEN. I AM INVINCIBLE.
DOOMPUFF died!
I AM STILL HERE.
NARRATOR says that this is one of the WORST RED VERSION BATTLES ever!
THAT IS YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE THE NARRATOR.
NARRATOR says that you are too one-dimensional as a CHARACTER!
NO I AM NOT. KILL! MAIM! DESTROY! DOOM!
NARRATOR says you're proving its POINT!
DOOM! RABID! DEVOUR!
> View/Post Comments on Battle #65
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