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Battle36 Battle37 Battle38 Battle39 Battle40
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Battle36: The 6 million dollar narrator.


Player: Extremely Expendable Extra(EEE)
Narrator

Holy Hicks on a haystack! What IS that?
that was renamed Red Version Narrator!
Na-Na-Na- Narrator??? Is it alive?
It's still standing!
um, not really, he's unconscious and he only has one 500th of a hp left until he dies!
Yes, But he's still alive! And on the doompuff victims scale that's pretty good!
true...
hmm, I better get this guy to a hospital in that huge city that is about to convieniently appear!
...
...
...
Well???
oh! Sorry!
Huge City Appeared!
EEE sent out car!
EEE acquired Red Version Narrator!
Car! Use your drive to Huge City Attack!
Car drove to Huge City!
good, now that my car is there I will teleport myself and this narrator to the hospital in Huge City!
er... ok...
Narrator is confused!
Narrator Narrated the next line in his confusion!
EEE used Teleport!
EEE teleported to Hospital!
EEE lost Red Version Narrator!
Ack! Where'd he go?!@?!@
Doctor Acquired Narrator!
oh ok, Phew!
EEE is not needed anymore!
EEE was thrown into the Expendable Character Bin!
Arg, should've known this would happen!

Player: Doctor
Location: Surgery Room

We have the Tools...
We have the Technology...
We CAN rebuild him...
He will be faster... stronger... and more evil than ever before...
Red Version Narrator Woke up!
hullo Mr. Red Version Narrator... We'd like to do some tests before you go...
Red Version Narrator: ...
hello?
Red Version Narrator: Hi.
um, yes and like we were saying we need to run some tests on you...
Red Version Narrator: no you dont. I'm not taking any tests...
but if you take them we'll take 1 million dollars off your Medical Bill!
Red Version Narrator: 1 million dollars?!?!?! Just how much does the total bill cost anyway?!
er... about 6 million dollars...
Red Version Narrator: I'll be going now...
You can't go... Security Mode Engage!
What! Hospital is evolving!
Hospital Evolved into Secret Max. Security Military Research Satellite!
SMSMRS Teleported into outer space!
Red Version Narrator: Bwahahahaha!!! You think all that will defeat ME?!
By illumina@graalmail.com
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Battle37: The failed attempt

Player: Evil Scientist
Narrator

Mwahahahaha!!! Soon my invention will be complete...! And with it I shall rule the world!! Bwahahaha!!
Evil Scientist used Mad Laughter!
Attack failed!
Evil Scientist used Cough!
it's super effective!
gasp... water... water...
Evil Scientist used drink!
It's super effective!
Water was fully drunk!
urrh... what is this annoying voice?
FLATTERY will get you NOWHERE!
ugh... I'm going to check on my invention...
Evil Scientist used check!
Invention was fully checked!
yes... It's finally completed! Now I shall use this invention i've created to take over the world!
Narrator wants to know what the invention is!
Invention: a thing invented; a contrivance, esp. one for which a patent is granted.
Narrator Facefaults!
Narrator is facing his faults!
I.. I.. I'm annoying, and... i'm dumb?
urrh... Bwahaha! that's my job!
Faults fainted!
yes... now can we get back to my invention?
...
good. My invention is a pokeball which can capture anyone and force them to obey me!
um.. that already exists... it's called a Masterball...!
Masterball... yes thats a good name for it...
Is evil scientist paying any attention to what Narrator is saying!
huh? Were you speaking?
er...
Now to go to the place...
Evil scientist went to the place!
Narrator wants to know what the place is!
you need to know a lot of things don't you?
Is evil scientist insulting Narrator?
um... no...
okay!
hehe... hehe... fool...
Narrator heard that!
uh oh...
Narrator will get you back later!
Narrator wants to know what this place is!
This place is the house of the illumina Version Webmaster! I am going to capture the webmaster and force him to do my will! Bwahahahaha!
Evil Scientist entered house!
illumina Version Webmaster is playing chess!
Gary Kasparov is playing chess!
what's he doing here...? oh well, no matter...
Prepare to be captured!
Evil scientist used Masterball!
to be continued... Bwahahaha!
by illumina@graalmail.com
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Battle38: The failed attempt, part 2


Player: Evil Scientist
Narrator

Evil Scientist used Masterball!
Extremely Rare Golden Chess set along with a hint book on how to beat supercomputers
in chess appeared!
It's super effective!
What is?! My attack or that unnecisarily long-named object?!
Gary Kasporov jumped at Extremely Rare Golden Chess set!
Which just happened to be hovering in front of the illumina Version Webmaster!
Congratulations! You've caught Gary Kasporov!
Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
I told you I would pay you back!
Actually, that's ok... I'll just release gary and re-use the masterball on
the webmaster!
Gary was released!
Bye-Bye Gary!
ok now I will press start and go to items, and then... hey...
waitaminute!!! what happened to my masterball?!
Masterball was used!
so?! I should still have it!
HRM... HELLO? WHAT IS GOING ON?
Evil Villian was going to take over the illumina Version!
Snitch!
HM.. I AM GOING TO HAVE TO PUNISH YOU...
Gary Kasparov appeared!
Handcuffs Appeared!
Evil Villian was handcuffed to Gary Kasparov!
Evil Villian and Ally Gary Kasparov were sent to the hills!
Plot fainted!
Battle used end!
Attack failed!
Battle is not nearly long enough!
DANG... GUESS IT'S TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK
THEN...
Hey Parents... Have you ever wished that your kids could learn how to
read a lot easier?
Well fear not! Beacause now you can just send them to the Hooked on Phonics Boot
camp where we
believe in tough love, only without the love! We shall beat the knowledge of how to read
into
your child!
Note: there is a small chance that your kid will become an
insane shell of a human being destined to end up on jerry springer

So Don't delay! Send your child to the Hooked on phonics Boot camp!
Just $99.99!
Battle used end!
Attack failed!
RATS...
OH WELL. TIME FOR ANOTHER COMMERCIAL.
Hello fellow Zyborgians! Do you have problems with humans? Do you
find that you seed a planet
and then come back a couple millenia later and find that it is overrun with humans? Well
then,
this product is just the thing for you!
It's the eludium-Pew36 Explosive Space Modulater! The cure for all your human
problems!
Marvin: Hi. I used the eludium-Pew36 Explosive Space Modulater and it worked
great!
Marvin: if only it weren't for that stupid earth creature.
You heard it yourself on channel Z509!
Buy the elludium-Pew36 Explosive Space Modulater for this discount price of 2000 years
of hard work and toil!
uhm... what...?
OOPS. I THINK WE'RE PICKING UP ALIEN SPACE
TRANSMISSIONS AGAIN...
ILLUMINA VERSION WEBMASTER banged on satellite
transmit/recieve device!
Alien commercial ended!
GOOD THING TOO. THEY WERE JUST GETTING TO THE
DEMONSTRATION OF THE DEVICE THAT SHOWS A PICTURE
THAT INSPIRES COMPLETE AND TOTAL ANARCHY WITHIN HUMANS...
how much longer must this battle drag on?
NOT MUCH LONGER. IT IS NOW LONG ENOUGH TO BE
QUALIFIED TO GO ONLINE.
What? the Illumina Version has standards?!
GR... ARENíT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE HILLS?
ILLUMINA VERSION WEBMASTER used Mega Kick!
AND HOW DARE YOU SPELL THE ILLUMINA VERSION WITH A CAPITAL ĎIí IN
THAT FONT!
Evil scientist fainted!
Gary Kasparov fainted!
Battle finally fainted!
By illumina@graalmail.com

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Battle39: Anime


Player: Brandon
Narrator

Brandon is looking at title!
Is it just me or is the narrator coming up with really bad titles
lately?
Actually, The illumina Version Webmaster thought that one up!
Ack! did I say bad? I meant to say it's 'sad' that few others were
blessed with that talent!
Brandon is sucking up!
large bag of cash falls from the sky!
And he seems to be doing a good job of it!
Webmaster is gullible!
Webmaster takes Narrator Mic!
Large bag of cash lands on narrator's head!
Stars appeared!
Stars are rotating around narrator's head!
um... How is that possible? He doesn't even have a head!
YOU DARE QUESTION MY WILL?!
Stars went supernova!
Brandon fainted!
Webmaster drops Narrator Mic!
Narrator takes Narrator Mic!
Brandon wakes up!
ugh... where am I?
Brandon is in front of PokeCenter!
ok, thanks.
In Cerulean City!
um... thanks...
On the planet Poke-earth!
Um... you can stop now...
In the chocolate milky way!
ok! I get it!
currently at the coordinates 40,13!
Shut up!
...
THANK YOU.
now on with the pl-
Current GPS Coordinat-
Argh!
Narrator and brandon are attempting to say stuff at the same time!
It's super confusing!
Narrator and brandon beat each other up in their confusion!
Brandon fainted!
Hours pass!
Brandon woke up!
ugh... where am- um... nevermind...
What were you going to say?
Nothing.
What's that?
Nothing!
Do you want to know where you are?
I know where I am!
I am in front of the pokecenter!
ah...
In cerulean city!
I get it now...
On the planet poke-earth!
you can shut up now!
In the chocolate milky way!
Silence!!!
Coordinates: 40, 13
Argh!!
GPS coordin-
Storm appeared!
Storm used thunder!
Attack missed!
ha!
Storm used thunder!
Attack missed!
Storm used thunder!
Attack missed!
um... you're being a little redundant, don't you think?
Storm is thinking!
Storm sent out Wolverine!
What?!? Storm from X-men?!
Wolverine used Terrify!
It's super terrifying!
Brandon fainted in terror!
Wolverine wins!
Hours pass!
Brandon woke up!
ugh... that's three times in one battle... I think i've set a new
personal record...
doesn't brandon want to know where he is?
uh... you're not seriously considering doing the joke yet ANOTHER
time?!
Narrator thinks!
Narrator decides not to do Joke!
Ok, now on with the plot!
Battle used end!
Wha?!
Battle used end!
But what about the title?!
This battle had nothing to do with anime!
The illumina webmaster probably got sidetracked by yet ANOTHER brilliant
idea!
Narrator is sucking up!
Narrator recieves pure gold Narrator Mic with an electronic voice that
randomly suggests good ways to torture player!
...
...
Wasn't the battle supposed to end a few lines up?
hm... Narrator checks something!
Something was fully checked!
Something was plot device!
Narrator flicked the off switch!
By illumina@graalmail.com

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Battle 40: Back on the road to viridian city!

Time Written: 5:40 AM, have not gotten any sleep yet.
Player: Brandon
Narrator: Default Narrator

Brandon is walking to saffron city!
Yep, It's about time I got another badge.
Bwahaha! There will be no badge-getting today!
Generic Doompuff spin-off appeared!
Generic Doompuff spin-off wants to fight!
I don't care, nothing is going to keep me from getting that badge!
Narrator thinks brandon is being over-confident!
Brandon shows narrator a paper signed by the webmaster!
Narrator reads paper!
Narrator is wondering how Brandon got webmaster to sign the paper!
Simple, did you read the Time Written thing up there?
Narrator reads!
Narrator will be especially cruel and merciless today!
But I'll still get the badge, so no matter what I still win!
Narrator cares not for your reasoning!
Moltres appeared!
Moltres carried Brandon to Saffron city!
Brandon was burned!
Ouch, I lost about two hps from that!
Narrator corrects previous statement!
Brandon recieved 3rd degree burns!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
So, I lost four hps?
ARG!!!
Brandon is being extremely annoying!
Narrator sees red!
um, anyways... I'm here!
Brandon enters Saffron Gym!
Sabrina appeared!
Sabrina wants to fight!
Who doesn't?
Sabrina used ignore!
Comment was ignored!
Sabrina sent out Abrakazam!
Huh? that's a new one...
Brandon rushes over to nearby conveniently located pay-phone.
Brandon made a collect call!
Dial 1-800-Call-ATT and save the people you call at least a buck or
two!
Narrator notices Brandon has dialed 0!
Shh! Can't you see I'm busy!
Narrator has had it!
Narrator is going to send Brandon to the illumina version cheap rip-off
of the narration torture chamber!
Narrator suddenly gets amnesia and forgets what he was doing!
Narrator is confused!
Narrator forgot that he was confused in his confusion!
Narrator has missed part of the battle!
Misty appeared and is attacking sabrina with 10 Ft. Tall Impenetrable
Mace of Torturous Death!
Narrator is wondering what happened!
I called her and convinced her that Sabrina caused the death of her
missingno. in battle 5!
Do you really expect any readers to remember THAT far back?!
Sabrina fainted!
Misty fainted!
Misty recieved Marsh badge!
Brandon steals Marsh badge from Sabrina!
Paper disappears!
Narrator is in charge again!
Narrator laughs evily!
Uh... Bye!
Brandon ran away!
Narrator will PUNISH Brandon for his INSOLENCE in Battle 41!
By illumina@graalmail.com
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