Larry's Tepid Quest
Oy. These battles span Larry's quest to get a Master Ball, via the Lucky Numbers game. Why? To catch the Evil Pesticide-Laiden Grapfruit of Doom. He does get it eventually, but then finds himself prisoner of Kerrigan, "Queen of the Zerg", who claims the Viridian Version for the Overmind. (Then I beat Starcraft and learned that the Overmind was killed in the end. Ergh.)
Battles 1-5
Date: 2/24/01
Location: Saffron City
Player: Larry [1-0-0]
Damn... I'm never going to get back my title at this rate...
...WHAT are you DOING?
I'm looking for a way to scare that Webmaster into making me a Narrator again!
That'll never work, Larry.
Yes it will, Clive! I'm looking for the perfect weapon!
What do you have so far?
... A Pidgey....
HAH! LARRY will NEVER, EVER, be a NARRATOR again!
Oh, yeah? Well..... Hmmf. I guess I'll listen to the radio.
LARRY turned on the RADIO!
OAK: Pidgey can be found anywhere, because it's a pathetically easy to catch Pokemon for losers.
NOT THIS SHOW!
MARY: Pidgey is wiggly and slickly inspiring!
That's just sick! LUCKY NUMBERS! CHANGE IT TO LUCKY NUMBERS!
REED: Yeehaw! How y'all doin' now? Whether-
SHUT UP AND GIVE ME THE NUMBERS!
REED: ... Okay... 3785524...
Right..... HEY! THAT'S MINE! And if I make it to Goldenrod I get a Master Ball... With a Master Ball, I could catch anything! ....Even the Evil Pesticide-Laiden Grapefruit of Doom... Heh heh.
You think we're going to let you reach Goldenrod?
... Yeah.
DUBBIE, CLICHED DOOMPUFF, and CHEF appeared!
....Uh, they're all dead, aren't they?
CLICHED DOOMPUFF: I am not!
DUBBIE: We're here 2 defeet u!
Oh, yeah, that's why I killed you, Dubbie. Well, anyway, I'll just kill you three again. KILL THEM, RATICATE!
Go, RATICATE!
Use your Bite attack!
RATICATE used BITE!
Enemies DUBBIE, CHEF, and CLICHED DOOMPUFF all BITE!
They bit even before I attacked.
Enemies DUBBIE and CHEF fainted!
CLICHED DOOMPUFF is walking away!
CLICHED DOOMPUFF: I'm gonna go to Fuschia and relax. Later, losers!
...Right. Well, I better catch a train.
LARRY caught TRAIN! Give TRAIN a nickname?
....
TRAIN was re-named ...!
Er, no! Name it Train again!
... was re-named TRAIN!
... Uh, okay, now off to Goldenrod!
Battles 16-20
War Event #1
Battles 21-25
Battles 26-30
Battle Royale #1
Battles 31-35
Date: February 28, 2001
Location: Train
Player: Larry [2-0-0]
That's a good question. When will it end?
I don't KNOW! That's for the WEBMASTER to decide!
Oh, no... Well, no matter! NOTHING WILL STOP ME FROM CATCHING THE DOOMFRUIT!
Don't worry! The WEBMASTER is busy shooting up Frat Boys on Assassin!
..Oh. Well, anyway... DOOMFRUIT IS MINE!
PASSENGERS are listening!
...Ugh, witnesses..... I'll have to destroy them......
PASSENGERS want to fight!
Oh, yeah? Well, go, Raticate!
RATICATE'S POKEBALL was locked safely in the overhead compartment!
Enemy PASSENGERS charge at LARRY!
AAAAAAH!
LARRY ran away! LARRY found a VCR!
Hmm... this must control the movies the passengers watch while on this train... I've got it!
LARRY reveals a copy of BIODOME with PAULY SHORE!
That's right! And with this horrible, horrible movie, I shall defeat the Passengers! MUAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA!
LARRY inserts BIODOME in the VCR!
PASSENGERS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOT THAT!
PASSENGERS open any window they can and throw themselves out of it!
PASSENGERS were re-named ROADKILL!
Yes! Now I have this train all to myself, besides that conductor. But first....
LARRY replaces BIODOME with SPACEBALLS!
There! Now I play the waiting game...
....
....
....
Shouldn't you be advertising the Waiting Game?
... Nah.
LARRY arrives in GOLDENROD!
WHOOOOOOO! ... Wait... in the Train Station...
The OTHER VIRIDIAN CHARACTERS are waiting for YOU!
...Eek.
KUNO: Are you sure he's coming here?
ZARBON: Yeah.
JOE BLOW: Why am I here? I'm weaker than Myron over there!
COOLTRAINER MYRON: Shut up.
You mean I have to fight them?
Well, the WEBMASTER said so! He finished browsing NEWGROUNDS minutes ago!
...Can't we just be friends?
NO! Because if so, then there'd be no Pokebattles!
To be-
NO! Please don't continue it! I'm beggin' ya!
Sucks to be you, Lar. To be continued...
Waaah.
Date: March 2, 2001
Location: Goldenrod City Station
Player: Larry [3-0-0]
Okay... I can do this!
LARRY cannot do THIS!
Do what?
... Never mind.
ZARBON: Myron, Joe... You too, Tree-
Tree? ... Oh, yeah, the one that fell on Kuno.
ZARBON: Hold Larry off best you can. We're gonna guard the Radio Tower.
ZARBON and KUNO left!
Hmmf, none of those weaklings stand a chance...
COOLTRAINER MYRON wants to fight!
TREE wants to fight!
JOE BLOW wants to fight!
I don't have to waste my best on you! Go, Raticate!
Go, RATICATE!
TREE sent out TREE!
JOE BLOW sent out JOE BLOW!
COOLTRAINER MYRON sent out CHANSEY!
Raticate use... Uh... Tail whip!
RATICATE used TAIL WHIP!
RATICATE's TAIL looks like a WHIP!
No effect!
Enemy CHANSEY used EGG BOMB!
CHANSEY set RATICATE up the EGG BOMB!
You just had to put in an "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" joke, didn't you?
It was an irresistable urge... And the joke sucked, too.
JOE BLOW used BLOW!
JOE BLOW blew on TREE!
TREE's LEAVES flew off!
TREE used APPLE THROW... on JOE BLOW!
JOE BLOW fainted!
.... So the Tree won?
MYRON sighs!
CHANSEY used SING!
CHANSEY sung some song by the BAHA MEN!
MYRON: NO! CHANSEY, RETURN!
CHANSEY let the DOGS out!
Chansey, return!
DOGS chased MYRON off into the HORIZON!
MYRON: AAAAAAAAAH!
... So that leaves the Tree.
Raticate, bite that Tree!
RATICATE used BITE!
RATICATE bit TREE in half!
TREE fell down!
... AAAAH!
... On the unconscious body of JOE BLOW!
... Whoa, thanks.
Well, we have to keep this tepid saga going somehow.
I AM INVINCIBLE! IN YOUR FACE, WEBMASTER!
HUNDREDS OF ZERGS appeared!
.... NO! RATICATE, RETURN! I'M OUTTA HERE!
LARRY ran away!
... HUNDREDS OF ZERGS charged after LARRY!
THIS.... ISN'T .... FAIIIIIIIIIIR! AAAAAAH!
Unfortunately for our few readers, to be continued...
Date: March 6, 2001
Location: Goldenrod City
Player: Larry [4-1-0]
AAAH! THOSE ZERG ARE STILL CHASING MEEEEEE!
Enemy HUNDREDS OF ZERG have given up and are working on taking over GOLDENROD!
Is... that good or bad?
That DEPENDS on your POINT OF VIEW!
Whatever. They can have Goldenrod, FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!
... LARRY has reached the RADIO TOWER!
ALL RIGHT! Now to walk in and- Wait... this was too easy...
ZARBON taps on LARRY'S shoulder!
Oh, no.
ZARBON, KUNO, and MYSTERY GUY want to fight!
Mystery Guy? Is that why he's covered in a black veil?
MYSTERY GUY: Damn it, there aren't any eye-holes in this thing...
ZARBON sent out FOOT SOLDIER!
KUNO sent out KUNO!
MYSTERY GUY sent out PARANOID FREAK!
Paranoid Freak? .... But.... That's....
MYSTERY GUY was re-named Y2K BUG!
.... The guy from Blue Version.
.... Yeah, I know that... ARGH! So, my accursed older brother, you have come to attempt to defeat me. Well, give up! I shall win!
LARRY hasn't REALIZED that he's being beaten to DEATH!
Wha? OW! OW! OW! DAMN! RATICATE, FINISH THESE LOSERS!
Go, RATICATE!
PARANOID FREAK is PARANOID!
It FAINTED in its PARANOIA!
FOOT SOLDIER ran away!
FOOT SOLDIER, return!
PARANOID FREAK, return!
And I never even attacked. Raticate, tackle!
RATICATE used TACKLE!
FOOTBALL PLAYERS tackled RATICATE!
RATICATE fainted!
How... unfair. Raticate, return.... I SHALL RUN!
NO! There's no running from a saga-ending battle!
WHAT? ... But I wanna ruuuuun......
KUNO: Run away. Run far away, weakling.
But I can't.....
KUNO: Why isn't he listening to me?
Y2K BUG: ... Moron.
KUNO was struck by LIGHTNING for his IGNORANCE!
So.... can I run?
KUNO fainted!
ZARBON: I have a feeling this battle is being sped up.
Hey, the WEBMASTER has a curfew, ya know.
...BYE!
LARRY edged into the RADIO TOWER!
Y2K BUG: Well, we should follow him....
ZARBON: Hey.... The buildings look really messed up...
GOLDENROD CITY was re-named ZERG COLONY!
ZARBON: GAAAAAH! RETREAT!
ZARBON ran away!
Y2K BUG ran away!
LARRY walked outside the RADIO TOWER with a MASTER BALL!
HAHAHA! NOW YOU- Hey, where'd they go?
KERRIGAN appeared!
KERRIGAN: Surrender to the Zerg Empire NOW!
..... Eeep... Look at those leg things..... Yes, ma'am...
Date: March 9, 2001
Location: Zerg Colony (Formerly Goldenrod City)
Player: Kerrigan, Queen of the Zerg [No Record]
Yes... This "Viridian" Planet is a good aquisition...
Now I shall torture these captives into telling me more about this place...
OVERMIND: KERRIGAN! Now is not the time to use that!
But I- Very well.
LARRY: GET ME OUT OF HERE! We went through an entire saga for nothing if you don't let me out!
Not a big loss.
LARRY: THAT'S IT! I'm going to take you down! One, two, three CHARGE!
LARRY used CHARGE!
LARRY charged up STATIC ELECTRICITY!
JOE BLOW, KUNO, and TREE ran away from LARRY!
.... *Sigh* Fine. If you can beat me, I'll let you out.
KERRIGAN knocked down the BARS!
BARS fell on LARRY!
JOE BLOW: I'll take that challenge!
JOE BLOW ran at KERRIGAN!
JOE BLOW stepped on LARRY!
JOE BLOW was shocked!
JOE BLOW fainted!
Amazing. They're all idiots! The Overmind will be very pleased...
KUNO wants to fight!
You? If those two can't even lay a finger on me, I doubt you'll be a real challenge. Attack, my horde of Zerglings!
...
Er... Go.... Zerglings?
Go, ZERGLINGS!
Enemy KUNO sent out KUNO!
Enemy KUNO used SLASH!
KUNO wrote a bad SLASH fic!
Oh, really? Featuring who?
MIMI and SORA from DIGIMON!
ZERGLINGS read SLASH FIC!
ZERGLINGS fainted from the stupidity!
Choose next POKEMON?
Pokemon? Wha?
....Choose next ZERG?
Oh... Okay. Go, Hydralisks.
Get'm, Hydralisks!
Fire some spines at that idiot.
HYDRALISKS used SPINE THROW!
HYDRALISKS ripped the SPINES out of CAPTURED CITIZENS!
HYDRALISKS threw the SPINES at KUNO!
It's super sickening!
That's.... not exactly what I meant......
Oh well. Hydralisks, go in for the kill!
HYDRALISKS went in for the KILL!
They're at the 20 yard-line...
The 10..
The 5....
TOUCHDOWN!
Now that just made no sense.
Not much does around here.
No wonder you have a mere "3" battle quality.
KERRIGAN was struck by LIGHTING repeatedly!
How is lightning coming from the celing?
STOP POINTING OUT THE PLOT HOLES!
Oh, but it's so much fun!
Here's another one: In the beginning of Battle Eleven, Larry said he had a Pidgey. How did he get a Raticate later on?
STOP IT!
VARIOUS FINAL FANTASY VILLAINS appeared!
Now you're ripping off Ice Version. How sad.
These are POKEBATTLES! 80% of it comprises only of RIPOFFS!
Except for the idiot football joke.
Oh yeah? You want a plothole? How does an INFESTED TERRAN
from milleniums in the FUTURE know about FOOTBALL?
I.... NO! You cannot defeat me by using my own strategy!
FINAL FANTASY VILLAINS KILL the HYDRALISKS!
Fine, I'll go along with this.... Oh, pray tell, which Final Fantasy Villains are fighting me?
SAVIOR SEPHIROTH, KEFKA, SEIFER, JENOVA SYNTHESIS, and BLACK WALTZ #3!
BLACK WALTZ #3 used WALTZ!
BLACK WALTZ and LARRY WALTZED out of the COLONY!
Enemies KUNO and TREE allied with FINAL FANTASY VILLAINS!
Well, if you want to get rid of annoying villains from a never-ending RPG series, do it yourself, I always say.
KERRIGAN does NOT say that!
*Sigh* Oh. Damn. You caught me.
Go, KERRIGAN!
KEFKA used UWEEHEEHEEHEEE!
It's super annoying!
In digust, SEIFER and KUNO chop KEFKA to bits!
SEPHIROTH used SUPERNOVA!
A SUPERNOVA is approaching the planet VERY SLOWLY!
I'll cloak myself so they can't see me...
KERRIGAN used CLOAK!
KERRIGAN put on a CLOAK!
CLOAK was PINK!
.... AAAH! Welll, I'll just attack normally then.
KERRIGAN used WHIP!
KERRIGAN'S huge-ass TENTACLE-THINGIES impaled JENOVA SYNTHESIS!
JENOVA SYNTHESIS fainted!
SUPERNOVA hit the PLANET!
Like most needlessly large and flashy attacks, SUPERNOVA barely did anything!
SEIFER: Yeah, great, Mister I'm-Sephiroth-And-I'm-A-Momma's-Boy-Type-Guy...
SEIFER used LONG IDIOTIC INANE INSULT!
SEPHIROTH walked off in disgust!
TREE used RAZOR LEAVES!
TREE'S LEAVES were cut up by RAZORS!
TREE ran away!
KUNO and SEIFER: *Sweatdrop.*
KUNO used PHEONIX FLAME BLADE!
PHEONIX FLAMED a BLADE!
PHEONIX: You ******************!
BLADE fainted!
KUNO: God, this is getting weirder by the minute.
KUNO and SEIFER ran away!
KERRIGAN won!
My god.. I didn't need to do barely anything and I still won... This place is going to be property of the Overlord soon enough.