(Beginnings.)
These were the First Five Battles, all written at least a week before the Viridian Version was actually added. We had to start somewhere, so I started with Ex-Blue Version Star Zarbon (Yes, I wrote those "DBZ Guys" battles.) migrating to the Viridian. From there on in, things get insane, with my favorite Ranma char, a "Poor Defeated Loser", an idiot (Who will most likely never come back. I hate him.) and me starring in three separate battles. In the last one, Larry was demoted. That minor occurance is going to make a big impact on the Viridian Version soon, just you wait!
Battles 6-10
Battles 11-15
Battles 16-20
Viridian War Event #1
Battles 21-25
Battles 26-30
Battle Royale # 1
Battles 31-35
The (lame) Beginning of a New Era!
Location: Blue Version
Player: Zarbon [No Record]
ZARBON is in suspended animation!
Well, yeah. Nothing's happened here in months!
It's because the almighty webmaster closed it down!
Really? DARN YOU, WEBMASTER!
I WISH YOU'D DIE!
He did! Read the Final Pokebattles Fanfic, although there probably will be another!
I can't. I'm in suspended animation.
Oh, yeah!
You make it sound so perky, Clive.
I'm sorry, but this is in the NARRATOR'S Unwritten code!
Then why does Larry break it all the time?
...He's a jerk! PORTAL opens!
... What does a portal opening have to do with Larry being a jerk?
No, you idiot! A portal opened! ZARBON is no longer in suspended animation!
Cool.
ZARBON runs to the portal! So do a myriad amount of other wacky characters! The portal's closing, and there's only room for one more!
Um, okay, very dramatic. I'm just gonna enter.
JOE BLOW is in your way!
.... What?
JOE is not going to let you through! He's gonna go through! JOE BLOW wants to fight!
... Why doesn't he just go through the portal?
JOE BLOW is a moron!
... Right. I'll just use myself.
Enemy JOE BLOW sent out JOE BLOW! Go, ZARBON!
I'm going, I'm going!
Enemy JOE BLOW used Blow! ZARBON'S hair was messed up! ZARBON used big pointless ki blast! ZARBON'S attack missed!
For some reason they all do.
Enemy JOE BLOW used Long Stupid Rant About his Crummy Life!
Aagh.... Not... another... rant.. attack... did.... you.... know... that.... long... pauses... make... you look... dramatic?
Yeah, WILLIAM SHATNER does that! ZARBON used equipped PEPSI!
Why the heck did I have a brand of soda equipped?
Obviously the WEBMASTER likes Gold and/or Silver! In a Software store near you!
The joke didn't work well in Red Version either.
Who cares!
Question mark!
Who cares! CLIVE is recycling old jokes!
Wasn't there a fight going on?
Um... yeah! Enemy JOE BLOW has fallen asleep due to the stupid banter!
That was needlessly convenient. Pokeball, GO!
JOE BLOW was caught! ZARBON enters the portal! ZARBON is in the Viridian Version, where the towels are oh-so-fluffy!
Ripping of Weird Al now, are we?
... Shut up!
Blue Thundershocked
Loaction: Furinkan High, Japan
Player: Tatewaki Kuno [No Record]
HAH! Today I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall smite Ranma Saotome and free the pig-tailed girl from his clutches!
TATEWAKI KUNO used Ramble! It's not very effective...
Who are you, o' red tex'd demon?
... I am the NARRATOR, you idiot!
Narrator? Then why have I never heard of you before?
KUNO is confused! He hurt himself in his confusion!
I walked into a Telephone Pole while I was agruing with you!
No, you didn't!
How can you tell me what I'm doing?
I am the NARRATOR, you moron! I state the obvious! What I say goes!
Oh, really? I see your only source of power is the red text!
No, it isn't!
Yes, it its! Sadly enough, I do not know how to change my text.
KUNO sucks! KUNO kicked a tree in his rage! TREE wants to fight!
Where do I start on how stupid *this* is?
The beginning!
SHUT UP!
Enemy TREE used Apple Throw! Apples were thrown at KUNO!
Ow. Time to turn you into applesauce!
KUNO turned Apples into Applesauce! Crtitical hit!
.... Feh. FORGET THIS! I'LL JUST SLICE YOU IN HALF!
KUNO used Slice! KUNO slices TREE! Enemy TREE fainted.... On KUNO!
.....Ouch......
RANMA walks into Furinkan unharmed!
WHAT? DAMN YOU, NARRATOR!
NARRATOR is Damned! Critical hit! NARRATOR wants to fight!
I'm under a tree.
KUNO surrenders!
I did no such thing!
LARRY laughs at KUNO!
....Shut up!
LARRY doesn't have to! He's a narrator!
Sigh...
The "Daring" Escape of Joe Blow
Setting: Somewhere near Furinkan High
Player: Joe Blow [0-1-0} Last Battle: Loss vs. Zarbon
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
POKEBALL is locked shut!
....GAAAAAAAAAH! I'M GONNA TAKE THIS STUPID THING DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!
POKEBALL wants to fight!
.... Uh huh. So do I.
Enemy POKEBALL sent out POKEBALL! Go, JOE BLOW! That rhymes!
I'm aware.
JOE BLOW is aware! No effect!
That was an attack?
In Pokebattles, everything is!
.........GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
JOE BLOW used Aggravated Yell! Critical hit! Enemy POKEBALL fainted!
I didn't know a Pokeball could faint. .... They just don't make Pokeballs like they used to.
JOE BLOW used Boring Overused Line! It's super-effective!
Was I fighting someone?
... Well, no. POKEBALL opened! JOE BLOW escaped and ran off! ZARBON just stands there!
He's not trying to catch me again?
ZARBON reminds you that you are the undisputed weakest character in the Viridian Version at this point!
Oh. Damn.
JOE BLOW continues to run! Joe Blow noticed a girl hugging a little Black PIG!
Yeah. What's with that? I've seen a pig like that before.... It was in this Cartoon called Ramen or Ramuh or something.....
Ranma 1/2!
Yeah. That's the one.
JOE BLOW will be punished for calling Ranma a CARTOON!
JOE BLOW runs into TATEWAKI KUNO! KUNO wants to fight!
HAH! Well, then, prepare to-
Enemy KUNO used Bokken Paper Cut! JOE BLOW fainted! Use next poor defeated loser?
....The stupidest battle... ever.
Location: Average House
Player: Dubbie [No record]
I gotta geet hom! I gotta watch Dragonball Z!
DUBBIE needs a spellcheck, badly!
Buh?
DUBBIE has just surpassed JOE BLOW as the lamest character in the Viridian Version!
Whut r u talking about?
I'm TALKING about Pokebattles!
Pokeeman is gay! Hee hee hee, I said 'gay'.
DUBBIE falls on his face! ZARBON flies in front of DUBBIE!
Wut? Zarbon? U SUCK! VIGITA BEAT YOU UP!
ZARBON has been sent here to destroy DUBBIE!
HAHAAHA! You can't dfeat me! I'm a SUPERSAYIN!
ZARBON wants to fight!
I WILL DFEAT U!
Enemy ZARBON sent out ZARBON! Go, DUBBIE!
I'll use my Kamayamaya Wave Attack!
...You moron! Do you not understand that you are NOT a DRAGONBALL Z CHARACTER?
YES I AM!
... This is stupid. Why did the Webmaster even write this?
.... WHO CARS? I USEM Y KAMAYAMAYA WAVE ATTACK!
Enemy ZARBON used Big-Ass Ki Blast! DUBBIE died!
I WILL RETRN!
NO YOU WON'T!
Oh.
Starcraft Boredom
Location: Webmaster's house
Player: Webmaster [No Record]
WEBMASTER is playing STARCRAFT!
Well, obviously! And what the heck are you doing here?
LARRY felt the urge to watch the WEBMASTER get his ass kicked!
Hey! I can beat this level!
WEBMASTER is on Level Four of the TERRAN campaign!
Hey, I only got this last night.
WEBMASTER is horridly LATE!
Don't make me delete you...
LARRY cannot be deleted! WEBMASTER continues to play Starcraft!
Yeah. Only one minute until the Dropships arrive.
HUNDREDS OF ZERGS want to fight!
WHAT? And all I have left are 12 Marines....
Go, 12 MARINES! HUNDREDS OF ZERGS sent out HUNDREDS OF ZERGS!
Um, okay, I'll just have my marines-
Enemy HUNDREDS OF ZERGS used Massacre! 12 MARINES died!
....Uh.... I guess I'll restart........
WEBMASTER opened Saved Game! HUNDREDS OF ZERGS want to fight again!
ERGH! Go, me! ... Why am I saying this?
It's not like I'm actually in a battle.
Yes you are!
WHAT? Well, if that's so... Go, me!
WEBMASTER cheers WEBMASTER on!
Okay, that's pretty stupid, even for the Viridian Version. I'll just type in a cheat code.
WEBMASTER automatically wins the game! WEBMASTER's attack continues! WEBMASTER's Site automatically is Number One in the Network! WEBMASTER's attack continues! WEBMASTER rules the world!
....Cool.
LARRY lied! WEBMASTER is still a pathetic dork with no power at all!
Shut up.
WEBMASTER also doesn't know how to write a decent battle!
SHUT UP!
WEBMASTER fainted for no reason!
If I did, then how am I still writing this?
WEBMASTER is confused!
No, I'm not!
WHAT? HOW DARE YOU CHANGE YOUR TEXT?
LARRY is demoted! LARRY is just an average character! LARRY bows his head in shame and walks away! WEBMASTER is the greatest! WEBMASTER's ego rose greatly! WEBMASTER doesn't know how to end this!