Utterly pointless.
Date: April 19th, 2001
Location: Viridian Central Square
Player: Webmaster [Record: 1-0-0]
MY LOYAL FANS, WE HAVE FINALLY REACHED THE TOP FIVE!
DEB cheers!
DEB: YAY4VIVI!
....The only person in the audience is Deb?
WEBMASTER is CORRECT!
Well, anyway.... VIRIDIAN WILL STAY AT 5 BQ THIS WEEK!
....WHAT is WEBMASTER talking about? VIRIDIAN will slip down to a 4 BQ SCORE this week, and ALL will be WELL!
ALL is SICK!
ALL fainted!
Oookay. Well, puns aside, WE ARE STAYING AT A FIVE BQ!
NO WAY!
You wanna test me, pal? You saw what I did to Larry...
....EEP!
CLIVE shuts up!
FATE appeared!
FATE: YOU WILL FALL TO A FOUR BQ, FOR THAT WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FATE.
And what if I refuse, huh?
FATE: THEN I SHALL MAKE YOU ACCEPT YOUR FATE, LIKE IT OR NOT!
FATE wants to fight!
Then come, my loyal fan, as we--
DEB ran away!
.... Great. Well, I must have something....
WEBMASTER rummages around BACKPACK!
WEBMASTER found POKEBALLx4!
Four Pokeballs, eh? Okay.... Go, Random Pokeball number Three!
Go, RANDOM TERRANS!
Oooh, cool. Okay, Random Terrans, use your Laser Cannons!
RANDOM TERRANS used LASER CANNON!
No effect!
Enemy FATE used FATE!
FATE: These pathetic Terrans shall all be killed by a pack of wild Zerg left over from the War Event!
ZERG appeared!
Oh, god....
ZERG used MASSACRE!
TERRANS were sent back to the BOSTON MASSACRE!
TERRANS vanished!
That's better than nothing, I guess.... Uh... Your turn, Random Pokeball number One!
Get'm, PIDGEY!
The same Pidgey that belonged to Larry before that plot-hole occurred?
Well, yeah.
Okay, use Sand Attack!
PIDGEY used SAND ATTACK!
When SAND ATTACKs! Tonight, on FOX!
I think I saw that one last week.
Enemy FATE used FATE!
FATE: The Pidgey will return to Plot Hole Nothingness.
NOOOO! PIDGEY, RETURN!
PIDGEY, return!
That was close.... Random Pokeball number Four, your turn!
Go, DUBBIE!
Oh, no..... Uh... Use your... Er.... Misspell attack.
DUBBIE used MISSPELL!
DUBBIE made FATE MISSPELL words!
Enemy FATE used FATE!
FATE: Da anoyying litle.... Er, sorry. The annoying little idiot will faint for no reason!
DUBBIE fainted!
Enemy FATE SHUFFLED NOTE-CARDS impatiently!
Those must have the fates on them.... Must... think of.... plan.... And.... mimic... William Shatner.... while I'm at it.
Random.... Pokeball... number Two.... Go.
Go, DELIVERY BOY!
Uh... Use... Deliver?
DELIVERY BOY used DELIVER!
DELIVERY BOY DLIVERed new NOTE-CARDS to FATE!
Enemy FATE used FATE!
FATE: Delivery Boy will stand there boredly as Fate turns himself into a frog... Wait, that's not right!
Heh heh heh.... It's on the Note-cards, so it HAS to be right!
FATE was re-named FROGGY!
FROGGY: Ribbit, ribbit.
FROGGY hopped away!
WHOOO! VICTORY IS MINE! AND SO IS ANOTHER 5 BQ STAR! HAHAHA!
Heh... Yeah.... whatever.....
WEBMASTER WON!
FROGGY hopped back!
FROGGY: Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit..... ribbit.
(Translation: Your fate is to review this battle here.)
Battles 1-5
Battles 26-30
Battle Royale #1
Battles 31-35
Date: April 24, 2001
Location: Forest Path
Player: Pokeball [Record: 0-2-1]
Ergh.. Joe Blow... I will find you.... And kill you...
CLIVE ponders about how HARD it must be for a POKEBALL to trek along a PATH!
You don't know the half of it... And Smooth Eddie weighs a lot.
POKEBALL needs food, badly!
I do not. Pokeballs don't eat.
... Oh, yeah. POKEBALL needs oil, badly!
I am getting a bit rusty....
BIG GUY AND RUSTY, airing on FOX KIDS!
Uh.... no...
Well, what is POKEBALL's chances of finding a GAS STATION in the middle of the WOODS?
Hey, look over there! "Incredibly Weird Coincidence Gas Station"!
... Oh, damn.
GAS STATION HILBILLY appeared!
GAS STATION HILBILLY: Do yew want yer oil changed?
Uh.... yeah....
HILBILLY: Well, that'll be $3, ah reckon.
Really? Dollars? Not yen? YES! FOR ONCE I'M NOT TURNED AWAY! HAHAHAHA! YES! YES! YES!
HILBILLY: How much money do ya gots?
Uh.... 2.25.....
POKEBALL is turned away!
POKEBALL is TURNED AWAY from the GAS STATION.
POKEBALL is looking the other way!
... Uh... Whatever...
Location: Further Down the Forest Path
Player: Joe Blow [Record: 1-4-1]
Argh.... We escape from that stupid Colony and now we're LOST! I thought you knew where we were going!
GENERIC HERO mumbles something and holds up a MAP with RYOGA HIBIKI's FACE on it!
Oh no....
JOE BLOW and GENERIC HERO run into POKEBALL!
This can't be good.
POKEBALL: THERE YOU ARE! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
Eep... Well, it's no big deal. Come, my trusted ally, and we will defeat the Pokeball and stuff!
GENERIC HERO was never JOE BLOW's ALLY!
GENERIC HERO ran away!
TRAITOR!
POKEBALL wants to fight!
Bring it on, then!
POKEBALL sent out SMOOTH EDDIE!
Thank god I found this Pokemon... Uh, go, whatever the heck you are!
Get'm, EXEGGCUTE!
Okay.... Uh... I've seen people use this thing before... Use... Sunny Day!
EXEGGCUTE used SUNNY DAY!
The sun is strong!
SUN flexes it's muscles!
OTHER PLANETS are scared!
Okay... That was pointless.
SMOOTH EDDIE used EEEEEEY!
It's super irritating!
Riiiiight. Exeggcute... Uh your.... Really long freaky vine attack thing.
EXEGGCUTE used VINE WHIP!
VINE was WHIPPED!
VINE fainted!
WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THIS THING?
JOE BLOW used YELL!
EXEGGCUTE's annoyance greatly rose!
EXEGGCUTE joined POKEBALL!
... Eeeep.
Go, JOE BLOW!
B-B-But....Augh.... Okay.. I'LL PUNCH YOU!
SMOOTH EDDIE used ANNOYINGLY BRIGHT CLOTHING!
AAAH! MY EYES!
JOE BLOW's accuracy greatly fell!
JOE BLOW used PUNCH!
JOE BLOW's attack missed...
And hit POKEBALL!
POKEBALL fainted!
SMOOTH EDDIE ran away!
YES! I'M THE GREATEST..... Hey, Generic Hero, wait up!
JOE BLOW ran after GENERIC HERO!
Battle ended!
HILLBILLY appeared!
HILBILLY: Y'all come back now, ya hear?
Date: April 26, 2001
Location: Remains of the Zerg Colony
Player: Mr. Insane [Record: 1-0-0]
CLIVE welcomes MR. INSANE to the VIRIDIAN VERSION!
Well, thank you. This place is undeniably the best of the mediocre Versions!
..MEDIOCRE? VIRIDIAN VERSION is NOT MEDIOCRE!
Oh, no, you misunderstand me! Today mediocre means pretty good!
... What?
You see, today is "I say everything is that which it is not" day!
... CLIVE is confused!
It hurt itself in it's confusion!
D-did CLIVE just call himself an IT?
Why, yes, I believe you did.
CLIVE is getting irritated!
Oh, really? I find that being irritated is the number one cause of irritation!
MR. INSANE STATED the OBVIOUS!
Of course I did! For if you were actually thinking of something that wasn't the obvious, then you would be thinking of something else!
What is MR. INSANE talking about?
I'm talking about the starved Kacheeks in the Ice Caves, of course!
Oh, of course... Wait a minute... AAAAAARGH!
VERY LARGE ANGRY MAN appeared!
VERY LARGE ANGRY MAN was re-named VLAMAN!
VLAMAN wants to fight!
AHA! So, the knave wants to battle, eh?
Yes. Yes he does.
VLAMAN sent out VLAMAN!
HAHAHA! So, you want to challenge me in fisticuffs!
... JUST TELL ME WHO YOU'RE SENDING OUT!
I shall fight him myself!
Go (away), MR. INSANE!
Okay! We fight, then!
Enemy VLAMAN waits for MR. INSANE to attack!
Enemy VLAMAN is getting impatient!
Why? Is it the fact that there are no ice cubes in the North Pole?
MR. INSANE used CONFUSION!
I hadn't decided on an attack...
It doesn't matter!
Enemy VLAMAN is confused!
It hurt it--- Ergh, HE hurt HIMself in HIS confusion!
Impressive! You have managed to defeat your Narrator-like urges!
Thanks... I guess.
Enemy VLAMAN used SEISMIC TOSS!
SEISMIC was TOSSed!
What a lucky coincidence that there was a man named Seismic here!
... O_O''... MR. INSANE actually understood that one.
CLIVE turns NARRATOR CONFUSION LEVEL up to ROBERTO-BENINI-LEVEL-CONFUSION!
Rather impressive. Now I shall use... Uh... Scratch!
MR. INSANE used SCRATCH!
MR. INSANE SCRATCHed a SCRATCHCARD!
MR. INSANE hit the JACKPOT!
JACKPOT was HIT!
JACKPOT was sent flying from the HIT!
JACKPOIT HIT VLAMAN!
Enemy VLAMAN is really, really, really confused!
He hurt himself in his confusion repeatedly!
VLAMAN fainted!
HAHAHA! YOU NOW SEE THAT I CANNOT BE DEFEATED BY THE LIKES OF YOU! Oh, yeah, well, you would if you were not fainted.
MR..... INSANE.... wasn't... confused?
No, I wasn't!
AAAAH!
CLIVE ran away!
How does a Narrator run?
Uh... well...
CLIVE is confused!
He hurt himself in his confusion!
CLIVE fainted!
Battle..... end.. *THUMP*
>> No gimmick. Just read and review this battle here
Date: May 1, 2001
Location: Super-Secret Laboratory, located at 3045 34th Ave W, fourth door on the --
HEY! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!
Sorry.
Player: Some Mad-Scientist Person --
MY NAME IS DOCTOR NEO!
Uh... *Snicker* New player.... Dr. Neo.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Your name is DOCTOR NEW?
Nooo... Docor Neo sounds cooler.
DR. NEO is incredibly cheesy!
DR. NEO was CHEESY!
CLIVE used NEOPETS IN-JOKE!
Mmm, mm! CHEESY NEOs!
You're... uh, sort of overdoing it.
CLIVE is using the DARK VERSION STRATEGY!
Which is...?
OVER-USING every PUN possible!
PUNS were OVER-USED!
PUNS became OLD and STALE!
PUNS are STALE!
PUNS are now inedible!
AAAAH! SHADDUP! I have to tell ya my evil plan for World Domination!
... AAAAAAAAAAAH!
DR. NEO is another annoying loser who's attempting to be the main villain!
.... Another?
LARRY, CLICHED DOOMPUFF, POKEBALL, and KERRIGAN are all just like DR. NEO!
No.... FOR I AM A MAD SCIENTIST AND THEREFORE I AM DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHERS!
Well... No...
CHEESY-LOOKING ROBOT appeared!
CHEESY-LOOKING ROBOT was re-named CHEESEBOT!
CHEESEBOT is made of CHEESE!
BEHOLD the POWER of CHEESE!
CHEESEBOT is POWERful!
Are you done yet?
CHEESEBOT wants to fight!
MWAHAHAHA! Fine, I shall prove that I am really worth it! GO, SECRET POTION!
Get'm, Secret Potion!
... Hello? Narrator!
SECRET POTION is NOT a POKEMON!
That hasn't stopped anyone before... C'mon.... Mr. Insane used a Potion!
THAT was BATTERY ACID!
POTIONS are not POKEMON!
Oh, okay... GO, PIKACHU-THAT-LOOKS-LIKE-A-SECRET-POTION!
Go, PIKACHU-THAT-LOOKS-LIKE-A-SECRET-POTION!
PIKA-- WHATEVER was re-named POTIONCHU!
CHEESEBOT used ABSORB!
CHEESEBOT ABSORBed POTIONCHU!
Heh heh... Little does it know that Potionchu is actually going to make it short-circut.
CHEESEBOT's strength greatly rose!
...Or maybe that was the Super-Strength Potion. O_O;;;
CHEESEBOT used SUPER-STRENGTH!
Critical hit!
This is unfair....
DR. NEO sent out DR. NEO!
Wha... N-no I didn't!
CHEESEBOT used RAY GUN!
GUN fired a man named RAY at DR. NEO!
It's super effective!
WAUGH! I'll use.... Uh.... Science! There is no problem that Science cannot solve!
DR. NEO used SCIENCE!
DR. NEO blinded CHEESEBOT with SCIENCE!
Wasn't that a song?
Yeah, that's the pun!
CHEESEBOT's accuracy fell!
CHEESEBOT used PUMMEL!
DR. NEO was PUMMELled!
DR. NEO needs a whole lot of luck, badly!
DOM DREAD appeared!
Yes! ... Dom, you'll save me, right?
DREAD: DR. NEO! I'm disappointed in you!
Oh, no.....
DREAD: I came when I heard that you had created a Cheesy Robot, but when I had got here it had already made a traditional uprising! Do you know why you lost?
I forgot to treat my robots with trust and love?
DREAD: No... It's because you suck. Well, since you suck, you will never be a competent mad scientist, not that you ever were. Well, I must be off, there's a convention in Seattle that YOU'RE not invited to. Goodbye.
DOM DREAD ran away!
DREAD: I don't run. I walk.
DOM DREAD walked away!
Un....fair....
DR. NEO fainted!
>> What do you want, a wacky joke? Just read and review here
Date: May 14, 2001
Location: Evil Scary-Looking Garden of Doom
Player: The Evil Pesticide-Laiden Grapefruit of Doom [3-0-0] Last: Really, really easy win vs. Jim
DOOMSEEDS are hatching!
YES! THE TIME OF MY VENGEANCE IS AT HAND!
.... "VENGEANCE"? What does DOOMFRUIT have to be VENGEFUL about?
Oh, nothing, I've just always wanted to say that.
DOOMSEEDS hatched!
DOOMSEEDS were re-named DOOMSeeDS!
NO! NO POINTLESS FINAL FANTASY IN-JOKES!
But they're a goldmine for BQ...
Sigh... DOOMSeeDS were re-named DOOMDRONES!
CLIVE is getting sick of writing DOOM before every name!
CLIVE feels like some sort of generic PROPHET!
Why are you bothering ME about this? Well, anyway, come on, my soldiers! WE MARCH TO... uh... that TV Station!
Location: TV Station
Player: Chuck Norris [No Record]
Hi, I'm Chuck Norris, and I always use the Abslide to...
NO! CLIVE is the only person who can ADVERTISE!
CHUCK NORRIS needs to DIE, and QUICKLY!
DOOMFRUIT appeared!
DOOMDRONES appeared!
DOOMFRUIT wants to KILL, MAIM, and DESTROY!
I thought it was supposed to be "DOOMFRUIT wants to fight"....
Not in CHUCK NORRIS' case!
Eeep.
DOOMFRUIT used VERY LARGE POINTLESS ARCH-VILLAIN ATTACK OF DOOM!
It's really, really, REALLY super effective!
CHUCK NORRIS died!
Location: Another TV Station
Player: Some Random Anchorman [No Record]
Already this new threat has killed Chuck Norris, Scott Baio, a whole lot of Republicans, and Russell Crowe. Will the citrus hellbent on killing us all succeed? That has yet to be seen.
BESEEN, that one.... web-site.... thing. Go there today! CLIVE doesn't know why!
DOOMFRUIT & DOOMDRONES appeared!
Uh... oh... Will this anchorman survive? That has yet to be-
DOOMFRUIT did RANDOM FATALITY MOVES on ANCHORMAN!
Super combo!
DOOMFRUIT: What was that?!?
DOOMFRUIT has obviously never played MORTAL KOMBAT!
DOOMFRUIT: OF COURSE NOT, FOOL! YOU THINK I ACTUALLY HAVE TIME TO PLAY GAMES THAT HAVE A NEW SEQUEL EVERY MONTH!
DOOMFRUIT confused MK with STREET FIGHTER!
Can we get back to my dramatic death scene now?
ANCHORMAN died!
Wel, now that we're done with that... DOOMFRUIT needs to play more FIGHTING GAMES, like MK, SF, SNK, KoF, NRA, LOL, BRB, BBL...
DOOMFRUIT: You're, uh, rambling on... And I'm pretty sure that those last four aren't actual games...
>> I doubt you will, but please review this here