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These were the first five battles I ever published, albeit not all the first I ever wrote. The bulk of these were establishing characters whom I had plans for in later battles. It wasn't uncommon for fan versions - and to an extent, Red Version itself - to feature their webmasters in meaningful roles in the story. Hence, Hiber's appearance here, being a creation myth. Hiber won't often take a direct hand in things, but might if there's a big enough plot event. I shall not make the mistakes of my forebears. I shall not succumb to ego, nor write for anyone but myself. I shall write solely for my own desires. And so I shall howl at the Void, and a new world shall be born! So, Void. I stand before you, and challenge you. I shall create and I shall endure! HIBER used DRAMATIC SPEECH! It's not very effective... VOID wants to fight! VOID sent out APATHY! VOID sent out DISINTEREST! VOID sent out DISTRACTION! HIBER sent out HIBER! HIBER used OVERLY DRAMATIC ROAR! It's super effective! ... for now. DISTRACTION was blown away! DISINTEREST was blown away! APATHY was blown away! VOID was dragged out! HIBER used PLANETFALL! PLANETFALL by INFOCOM! Available summer 1983! PLANET fell on enemy VOID! Enemy VOID used ABSORB! It's not very effective... Now, to make this world something other than a lifeless ball of rock. Terraform! HIBER used TERRAFORM! TERRA was FORMED! TERRA is neither! TERRA wants to fight! TERRA: For the glory of the StarDroids, we shall conquer this Earth! I don't have a living world for you to conquer yet. We need to finish pushing back the Void first. TERRA: ... TERRA wants to fight! ... Enemy VOID! Ally TERRA used SPARK CHASER! Congratulations! SPARK OF INSPIRATION was caught! Enemy VOID used MEGA DRAIN! MEGA MAN characters present were DRAINED! It's super effective! This is, after all, a battle. So, to the Void with this Void. I'm ending this now. Fire Spin! HIBER used FIRE SPIN! It's not very effective... Enemy VOID can't move! Its attack continues! Its attack continues! Its attack continues! Its attack continues! HIBER used FIRE SPIN! It's not very effective... Enemy VOID can't move! Its attack continues! Its attack continues! TERRA: Are you just gonna keep doing that? HIBER used FIRE SPIN! It's not very effective... Enemy VOID can't move! Its attack continues! Its attack continues! Its attack continues! Enemy VOID ran! Now, to work, in earnest this time. HIBER won! TERRA won! PLANET won! What? PLANET is evolving! Congratulations! Your PLANET evolved into VERSION! If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord. Electronic devices were an extremely common adversary in old-school Poké Battles. Same here. PHONE used RING! Let's see who it is...? Enemy PHONE sent out TELEMARKETER! TELEMARKETER used ADVERTISE! TELEMARKETER: Would you be interested in this brand-new, one-of-a-kind, collector's-edition widget? What will JANE do? Get 'em! SMARTPHONE! TELEMARKETER: These widgets are going fast. Every one of them is handmade by the... SMARTPHONE used DNC LIST! TELEMARKETER fainted! PHONE is still here! PHONE sent out SURVEY! SURVEY used DATACOLLECT! SURVEY: Hi, I'm Steve from Sketchy Research and we'd like to ask you a few questions on a confidential basis! It's totally not twenty minutes of horribly biased politics or badly written medical questions. Survey calls are not subject to the National DNC Registry. Smartphone, block his number and all the numbers connected to him! SMARTPHONE used BLOCK! BLOCK of CONCRETE fell on enemy SURVEY! SURVEY fainted! Good job, Smartphone, now what... PHONE sent out ROBOCALL! ROBOCALL used SCAM! ROBOCALL: FOGHORN...! Congratulations! You've just won a free cruise! All you need to do to claim it is to enter your sixteen digit credit card code and your nine digit social security num-- JANE used HANGUP! It's not very effective... ROBOCALL used SCAM! ROBOCALL: Hi, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty... SMARTPHONE used PRIVACY BLOCKER! ROBOCALL was hedged out! ROBOCALL fainted! PHONE sent out SCAMMER! SCAMMER: Hello I am John from Microsoft Technical Department and your computer is full of virus. JANE's COMPUTER actually IS full of VIRUSES! THAT is for another BATTLE! SCAMMER: You need to give me remote access to your computer so I can show you the viruses! JANE used HANGUP! It doesn't affect enemy SCAMMER! SCAMMER: Hello this is IRS, you have been impersonated by scammer, we just need to know your personal information to verify and protect all your money. SMARTPHONE Used PRIVACY BLOCKER! It doesn't affect enemy SCAMMER! SCAMMER: PLease just listen for a moment, your doctor has authorized the purchase of this medical device-- SMARTPHONE used DNC LIST! Enemy SCAMMER absorbed the attack! SCAMMER: The dealership of your car has authorized a recall with significant financial penalties for ignori-- Go! KITCHKNIFE! KITCHKNIFE used CUT! PHONE CORD was CUT! PHONE died! SCAMMER ran! BUSINESS CALL can't get through! SOCIAL CALL can't get through! JANE is losing FRIENDS and is falling into DEBT! JANE won! If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord. In classic Poké Battles, It is raining. CLOUD used THUNDER on enemy CLOUD! It's super loud! WOODS wants to fight! WOODS sent out TREE! AXCRAIG sent out AX! TREE used FALL! APPLES fell on AX! It doesn't affect AX! AX used HACK! AX hacked into enemy TREE's e-mail account! TREE's secrets were exposed! TREE is exposed! TREE is in danger here! TREE ran! WOODS sent out MTLION! MTLION used ROAR! AX was blown away! CHEESELOAF was dragged out! My lunch!! Cheese Loaf, return! CHEESELOAF is loafing around! MTLION used DEVOUR! CHEESELOAF was eaten! CHEESELOAF fainted! Go, me! AXCRAIG sent out AXCRAIG! MTLION used LANDSLIDE! LAND below AXCRAIG's feet started to SLIDE! No! MTLION is MOUNT LION! AXCRAIG doesn't have much time to think about it! AXCRAIG was blown away in the LANDSLIDE! WOODS was blown away in the LANDSLIDE! WOODS fainted! AXCRAIG fainted! Use next Pokémon? If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord. I don't have anything much to say about this battle, but it adds another trainer to the roster of potential narrator victims. Perfect for capturing some cute li'l Pokémon... Gotta impress the ladies somehow. STEVE is skeeving about! Wild VULPIX appeared! Go! GRIMER! Wild VULPIX used FLAMETHROWER! That's actually pretty impressive. Gotta be something fun to do with that... GRIMER was doused in FLAMETHROWER LIQUID! GRIMER was burned! That's okay though. He's made of 100% noncombustible industrial waste. Grimer, use Sticky Hands! GRIMER is on fire! GRIMER used STICKY HANDS! STICKY HANDS became BURNING HANDS! A 15-foot cone around wild VULPIX was burned! Wild VULPIX's FLASH FIRE triggered! But, FLASHFIRE can't appear yet! It doesn't affect enemy VULPIX! Wild VULPIX used CONFUSE RAY! Something happened off in the distance! You don't know! What's going on here? STEVE is confused! It hurt itself in its confusion! GRIMER is still on fire! GRIMER fainted! Go, me! GRIMER! Return! STEVE sent out STEVE! Wild VULPIX used HYPNOSIS! It's super effective! STEVE was hypnotized! VULPIX: Vul! Vul! Wild VULPIX told STEVE to go jump in LAKE! STEVE used JUMP! STEVE jumped in a LAKE! STEVE is hypnotized no more! VULPIX won! LAKEMONSTER wants to fight! If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord. This battle was one of the earlier ones I wrote and has been intended as battle #5 since it was. The original PokéBattles: Red Version introduced Star Wars characters on its fifth battle. This is also by far the longest and most dramatic battle I have published to date. Despite the release of ANAKIN is happy! And I'm going to win it. My pod's the fastest ever. ANAKIN is overconfident! SEBULBA wants to fight! NEVAKEE wants to fight! GASGANO wants to fight! ELANMAK wants to fight! ODYMAN wants to fight! MARSGUO wants to fight! MAWHONC wants to fight! BROOR wants to fight! BUMPY wants to fight! BENQUAD wants ... to go home! I can do this! ANAKIN is still overconfident! SEBULBA's SABOTAGE! Unknown racers were sabotaged! FODESINBEED: And we're off to the races, folks! Three ... Two ... One ... And go! SEBULBA'S SABOTAGE! ANAKIN was paralyzed! It may not attack! ELANMAK was paralyzed! It may not attack! FODE: Looks like little Skywalker has stalled! BEED: And the newcomer Elan Mak along with him! SEBULBA: Eh heh heh... SEBULBA used FLAMETHROWER! ODYMAN was burned! It kept going and crashed! ODYMAN fainted! BUMPY used BUMP! BUMPY BUMPed into BROOR! It kept going and crashed! BUMPY fainted! BROOR fainted! FODE: It looks like this race is already getting rough! BEED: It's gonna be a wild ride, tonight, folks...! NARRATOR thinks there's only room for one NARRATOR here! NARRATOR used NASTY PLOT... Location: Starting Grid ELANMAK used FIELD REPAIR! A critical miss! ELANMAK's POD blew up! ELANMAK fainted! ANAKIN used FORCE! RACER was FORCEd to WORK! RACER reactivated! FODE: The little human boy's moving again! BEED: He'll be hard pressed to catch up with what's left of the pack! TEEMTO appeared! TEEMTO used SQUEEZE! ANAKIN is being SQUEEZED against ROCKS! Maybe I can... Do a barrel roll over him? ANAKIN used BARREL ROLL! BARREL rolled into TEEMTO and crashed! TEEMTO fainted! MAWHONC appeared! SEBULBA appeared! MAWHONC used RAM! It's not very effective... SEBULBA: SEBULBA used RAM! It's not very effective... A critical hit! MAWHONC flinched! Wild SANDCRAWLER appeared! Wild SANDCRAWLER used RAM! It's super effective! MAWHONC fainted! FODE: Looks like there's some Jawas out looking for scrap! BEED: Looks more like they're out there GASGANO appeared! GASGANO used REARVIEW! GASGANO ... is distracted! UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD appeared! UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD used TERABOLT! GASGANO's POD blew up! GASGANO fainted! FODE: Keep your eyes on the track, everybody! BEED: I don't care what property you're from, that's gotta hurt! NARRATOR is confused! It hurt itself in its confusion! HIBER: Hmm? RSACi is dead! There's no will to fight! HIBER: That's true, the RSACi was closed in 1999 and rolled into ICRA. ICRA is dead! There's no will to fight! HIBER: That's also true. ICRA shut its doors permanently in 2010. HIBER: But frankly, the RSACi Cloud never had that much to do with the actual RSACi or ICRA anyway. HIBER: So I see no problem with dragging it up from the Amber and resurrecting it. The same way I did with you. The same way I did with this whole concept. HIBER: More importantly than anything, it keeps a 20-year-old running gag going, and it's HIBER: Now, don't you have something better to do? BENQUAD used QUADBOOST! It's super effective! BENQUAD went past MARSGUO! Its attack continues! BENQUAD went past SEBULBA! Its attack continues! It kept going and crashed! ...Into FODESINBEED! BENQUAD's POD blew up! BENQUAD fainted! FODESINBEED died! NARRATOR laughs malevolently! ANAKIN appeared! MARSGUO appeared! MARSGUO used AFTERBURNER! MARSGUO's AFT was burned! MARSGUO shouts in ANGRY ALIEN! MARSGUO used RAM! MARSGUO's attack missed! SEBULBA appeared! SEBULBA used ROCK THROW! ROCK went in MARSGUO's engines! MARSGUO's POD blew up! SEBULBA used FLASH! ANAKIN averted eyes! RACER kept going and crashed! ... Into ROCK! RACER fainted! ANAKIN kept going and crashed! ... Into TRACK! ANAKIN is in critical condition! SEBULBA: Ah ha ha... Stupid slimeball slave... UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD appeared! UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD heard someone was using FLASH! UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD used TERABOLT! SEBULBA's POD was blown to smithereens! SEBULBA fainted! ANAKIN used FORCE! ANAKIN was FORCED to not faint! ANAKIN very slowly walked across FINISH LINE! ANAKIN won! ANAKIN blacked out! NEVAKEE used MAP! It doesn't affect NEVAKEE! NEVAKEE: What is this... I must've made a wrong turn! Now I'm in a jungle! Is this even Tatooine anymore!? Keekeekeekeekee...!!! RYOUGA HIBIKI appeared! RYOUGA HIBIKI: Welcome to the club... NEVAKEE is hopelessly lost! If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord. |