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The Saga Concludes
Color key: Game Text / Dialogue
Battle #86: Fight for the Portal November 29, 2000
Location: Lord Sloth's Castle Ruins
Player: Lord Sloth [Record: 2-4-0]
BETO wants to know why you are OPPOSING him!
Hnn. Ignorant fool. If this portal is opened, we all die.
BETO says you're speaking NONSENSE!
Call it what you will. My comrades and I will not allow you to prevail.
BETO wants to fight!
BETO sent out BOY SCOUT #8!
As it should be. Valkyrie, go!
GREEN VALKYRIE says she's not your POKéMON!
You are my wife. I see little difference.
GREEN VALKYRIE is FUMING!
Good. Now use that attack against the enemy.
Go! GREEN VALKYRIE!
Ally EVOLUMAN offers his ASSISTANCE!
Ally EVOLUMAN sent out EVOLUMAN!
Valkyrie…
GREEN VALKYRIE used FUME!
GREEN VALKYRIE's ANGER greatly rose!
Hnn… I suppose that is a good thing.
Enemy BOY SCOUT used SWISS ARMY KNIFE!
GREEN VALKYRIE was STABBED!
Hnn… Valkyrie, use your Sky Lance.
GREEN VALKYRIE says she's too busy BLEEDING to worry about OBEYING YOU!
Valkyrie! OBEY!
YOU show GREEN VALKYRIE your OBEDIENCE BADGE!
GREEN VALKYRIE CURSES!
GREEN VALKYRIE used SKY LANCE!
Enemy BOY SCOUT was VIOLENTLY IMPALED by SKY LANCE!
Hnn… excellent.
BETO sent out BOY SCOUT #2!
…he has another one, hnn?
Enemy BOY SCOUT used SWISS ARMY KNIFE!
GREEN VALKYRIE was STABBED!
GREEN VALKYRIE needs FOOD, badly!
Curses… Valkyrie, use your sword.
GREEN VALKYRIE used SWORD!
GREEN VALKYRIE used SWORD to END HER OWN LIFE!
What? Nooooooo!
GREEN VALKYRIE fainted!
Whew… that was close.
Forgot how suicidal she was… hnn…
Hey Evoluman - are you going to DO SOMETHING??
Ally EVOLUMAN was busy DAYDREAMING!
Fool! The fate of the world may be decided by today's events! Go gather the other heroes of Red Version… I will hold off Beto as long as I can!
Ally EVOLUMAN says he will STAND AND FIGHT by your SIDE!
Don't make me show my Obedience Badge to you.
Ally EVOLUMAN ran away!
Okay, Beto… it is time for this to end…
Venosloth, go.
Go! VENOSLOTH!
Enemy BOY SCOUT used SWISS ARMY KNIFE!
VENOSLOTH was STABBED!
This battle has become far too repetitive. Time to even the playing field.
Venosloth, use your venom attack.
VENOSLOTH used VENOM!
Enemy BOY SCOUT was FATALLY POISONED!
Perfect.
Enemy BOY SCOUT used SWISS ARMY KNIFE once AGAIN as it TAKES its last BREATH!
Curses.
Enemy BOY SCOUT fainted!
VENOSLOTH fainted!
This is too close for comfort. I didn't want to have to resort to this, but…
Meowth, go!
Get'm, MEOWTH!
MEOWTH joined BETO!
No! Traitor!
BETO sent out BOY SCOUT #23!
Curses! How many BOY SCOUTS are there??
BETO says he can keep this up ALL DAY!
Ugh. It'll be some time before Evoluman returns…
My only hope is if I actually manage to win.
Go, self.
The enemies are innumerable! Get'm, LSLOTH!
I shall hit you with my-- uh oh… feeling gravity pull me down again…
YOU slumped to the GROUND!
Curses! Of all the times! Beto, help me stand back up.
BETO steps OVER your BODY!
Nooo…. I cannot allow this…
BETO reaches the PORTAL MECHANISM!
It's over… the world ends today…
COLUMN OF FLAMES rises up between BETO and the PORTAL!
Hnn?
BETO wants to know what is going ON!
Hnnnn… so do I….
NARRATOR says it will not ALLOW BETO to enter the PORTAL!
Excellent! The Narrator has taken sides!
NARRATOR prepares to WREAK HAVOC on BETO!
This should be fun to watch…
Location: The Void
Player: Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom [Record: N/A]
DOOMPUFF used RABID BITE!
PORTAL was WEAKENED!
KILL! MAIM! DESTROY! EAT! DOOOOOOOOM!!!
DOOMPUFF IS COMING…
> View/Post Comments on Battle #86
Battle #87: Narrator's Fury December 6, 2000
Location: Lord Sloth's Castle Ruins
Player: Beto Chávez [Record: 4-0-0]
Arrrghh! Victory is only a few feet away and I can't even move!
BETO is facing a STRONG gust of WIND!
Foolish narrator! I come from Earth! Your power over me is not enough to prevent me access to the portal for long!
BETO is only FOOLING HIMSELF!
NARRATOR is going to take GREAT JOY in SHATTERING your HOPES and DREAMS!
Ha! I'd like to see you try!
HOPES were SHATTERED!
HOPES fainted!
Gee, I sure hope that… uhh, umm… good lord, I've lost the ability to hope!
NARRATOR says it has MORE where THAT came FROM!
MORE where THAT came FROM?
NARRATOR dislikes being MOCKED!
DREAMS were SHATTERED!
DREAMS fainted!
Ha! I didn't feel a thing.
Just WAIT until you try to get some SLEEP!
...oh.
YOU should now be PREPARING to SLEEP FOREVERMORE!
That is what you think, Narrator. I have studied the art of Narrative Theory.
BETO's ARM fell OFF!
See now, I know full well that didn't happen. I do not believe it, therefore the event itself does not happen. You are powerless over me.
NO, BETO's ARM really fell OFF!
Huh? It did? I mean- arrrrrrghhh!
NARRATOR can't BELIEVE such a SIMPLE TRICK actually WORKED!
No problem. I'll just use some scotch tape and it'll be as good as new.
BETO used SCOTCH TAPE!
No effect!
Ah, worked perfectly.
NARRATOR is FURIOUS!
Heh. What're you going to do about it?
STORM CLOUDS are BILLOWING!
COLUMN OF SMOKE is RISING from the GROUND!
Is this supposed to scare me?
HUGE ARMORED FIGURE appeared!
Ha! I'll just disbelieve it.
YOU cannot DISBELIEVE me!
What the-???? How can there be dialogue other than myself??
HUGE ARMORED FIGURE was renamed NARRATOR!
Wha? How are you doing this??
DRASTIC TIMES call for DRASTIC MEASURES!
Why don't you leave me alone?? I just want to go home!
Going HOME will result in EVERYONE DYING!
Ridiculous. Go, Boy Scout!
BETO sent out BOY SCOUT!
BOY SCOUT was SENT OUT into the WILDERNESS!
BOY SCOUT is GONE!
NOOO!
NOW is when you DIE!
NARRATOR used DIE!
WHY am I THWARTING mySELF?
SORRY… I couldn't RESIST!
...events have certainly taken an interesting twist…
EVENTS used TWIST!
EVENTS were TWISTED around NARRATOR'S NECK!
WHAT am I DOING??
Old HABITS die HARD!
THAT really HURT!
NARRATOR is having FUN!
MAYBE I should have FUN on BETO inSTEAD!
Um… guys?
NARRATOR used FUN!
NARRATOR had FUN being STRANGLED!
THIS is very PAINFUL!
Guys!
NARRATOR used PAINFUL!
NARRATOR is FULL of PAIN!
NARRATOR was so FULL, it EXPLODED!
I EXPLODED?
YO!! GUYS!!!
NARRATOR wants to know what you WANT!
I activated the mechanism while you guys were fighting each other… the portal's open.
….AAAAAAAAAAH!
NARRATOR fainted in its FRIGHT!
PORTAL was *gulp* … OPENED!
Location: The Void
Player: Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom [Record: N/A]
DOOMPUFF used WAIT PATIENTLY!
PORTAL was OPENED!
FREE AT LAST. DOOM. EVERYONE WILL DIE. FUN. KILL. DESTROY.
NARRATOR used CLOSE!
PORTAL was RESEALED!
...DOOM. KNEW I SHOULD HAVE ESCAPED WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE.
DOOMPUFF IS COMING…
> View/Post Comments on Battle #87
Battle #88: The Escapee December 13, 2000
Location: Grassy Field of No Return
Player: Eric, MHE [Record: N/A]
PORTAL opened!
ERIC appeared!
PORTAL closed!
Whew… well, here I am in yet another version….
*sigh*… I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever find Red Version…
ERIC gazes MOURNFULLY into the SKY!
ERIC notices that the SKY is RED!
Wait a minute… that could only mean…
THE SKY IS BLEEDING!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
Location: The Hills
*gasp* I wonder what made me think that running here would protect me from the sky.
ERIC should now REALIZE how ELSE a RED SKY could be INTERPRETED!
Hmm… well, it obviously isn't the version color in this case… hey, wait a minute… the narrator's text here is… RED!
...SO?
This… this MUST BE RED VERSION!! WOOHOO!!!
NARRATOR fails to SEE how THAT proves ANYTHING!
Well, is it true or not?
NARRATOR concedes that it IS!
…an Almighty Narrator conceded something?? That's a first.
NARRATOR was inspired by AL GORE!
Ah. Say no more.
The ALMIGHTY WEBMASTER decided to ALLOW YOU the PRIVILEGE of visiting RED VERSION!
Thank the Almighty One!
Hey, something's wrong… what happened to the others?
NARRATOR wants to know what you MEAN!
Puffzan, Foo, and the crew… my other personalities.
I haven't taken my medication for awhile so I thought they'd be here…
WEBMASTER only allowed ONE PERSON to come through the PORTAL!
Yes, but… they're all me - I mean, I am one person but with many personalities that… ARGH, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?
ONLY ONE of ERIC'S PERSONALITIES could get THROUGH!
Nooo… how can I possibly accomplish my mission on my own?
%@$! it all, I-- huh? Don't tell me my swear words didn't make it through either!
ERIC is UNABLE to use that WORD here!
What, %@$!? That is the MILDEST of the MILDEST expletives on the planet! Does the Almighty One think that will actually OFFEND people??
The POWER of the RSACi is too GREAT here!
%@$!… this mission really sucks.
RSACi STORM CLOUDS are BILLOWING!
Eep. I'll be good.
*sigh*… I bet Puffzan wouldn't allow myself to be pushed around like this…
Puffzan doesn't care.
'Foo! I will mess with 'yoo!
NARRATOR orders you to stop PRETENDING that you have MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES!
*sigh* … didn't think you could tell the difference.
This Red Narrator really does its job well… unlike some other Narrators I've encountered…
IMMORTUS appeared!
Immortus? Who are you and why are you here?
IMMORTUS had to RUN for the HILLS!
Ah. This is quite a popular place for that, eh?
IMMORTUS also informs you that his name is IMMORTUS!
Makes sense. I am Eric, AVE - formerly Eric, MHE.
IMMORTUS wants to know what all those ACRONYMS mean!
Aqua Version Escapee and Mental Hospital Escapee, respectively.
IMMORTUS wants to know why you're here in RED VERSION!
I was sent to stop the portal between Red Version and Earth from being opened.
IMMORTUS says that's an INCREDIBLE COINCIDENCE!
IMMORTUS says he is doing the EXACT SAME THING!
Phew… I needed an ally badly.
So what's the plan?
IMMORTUS says there's a MECHANISM that can be ACTIVATED that will PERMANENTLY SEAL the PORTAL!
That sounds easy enough.
IMMORTUS warns that the evil LORD SLOTH and his COHORTS are trying to PREVENT that from HAPPENING!
Well, they will be no match… for me!
BATTLE will now END!
Huh? But… there WAS no battle!
IMMORTUS says that THESE THINGS sometimes HAPPEN!
Geez, why even call these Poké Battles anymore?
Should just call them Poké Conversations…
ERIC wins!
Is ERIC happy now?
Yay!
Location: The Void
Player: Red Doompuff [Record: 7-0-0]
DOOMPUFF used GNAW!
PORTAL was GNAWED ON!
PORTAL weakened!
DOOM! RABID! EVIL! MUHHH-TROP-LUHHHHHSS!!!
DOOMPUFF IS COMING…
> View/Post Comments on Battle #88
Battle #89: The Final Battle December 20, 2000
Location: Lord Sloth's Castle Ruins
Player: Eric, MHE [Record: 1-0-0]
ERIC arrived at BATTLEFIELD!
Wow, that didn't take long.
IMMORTUS points out that it took a WHOLE WEEK!
But we had to travel far to get here…
IMMORTUS says it was only a COUPLE OF MILES!
That's far!
IMMORTUS is becoming ANGRY WITH YOU!
Hey, don't blame ME! Geez, do you guys ever do anything on days other than Wednesday?
IMMORTUS says that's when the SITE is UPDATED!
Sight?
IMMORTUS desires to STRANGLE YOU!
You 'desire to strangle me'? Man, this version needs a new translator.
ALTAVISTA BABELFISH appeared!
Not of the Oh. Everything except that one! That translator never says any thing that felt of the marks.
The NARRATOR wishes to know of which ERIC IS SPEAKING!
Obtain babelfish absent! I cannot even be understood!
BABELFISH wishes to fight!
Watch towards outside behind you, Babelfish! He is fisherman!
BABELFISH was SCARED!
BABELFISH was executed far!
Whew. Executed? Does that mean it died?
NARRATOR thinks it RAN AWAY!
How did a fish run?
NARRATOR says it's best not to QUESTION such THINGS!
IMMORTUS thinks you should have tried to CATCH it!
No way. I must remember my mission, which is… um….
To STOP the DOOMPUFFS from ESCAPING the VOID!
That's right! And to do so, I must… umm…
IMMORTUS says you must ACTIVATE the PORTAL-OPENING MECHANISM!
NARRATOR says IMMORTUS is LYING!
Huh?
NARRATOR warns that the PORTAL-OPENING MECHANISM will open the PORTAL!
Now why should I believe a NARRATOR over a human being?
IMMORTUS tells you that he is AN IMMORTAL SOUL THAT CANNOT BE KILLED!
Oh. Well, why should I believe a NARRATOR over AN IMMORTAL SOUL THAT CANNOT BE KILLED IN ALL CAPS?
NARRATOR says to THINK about it!
Ha! That's what they tried to make me do in the mental hospital! But I outsmarted them and thought up a way out of there. That'll teach them to try and make me think!
NARRATOR reminds ERIC that he's standing on a BATTLEFIELD!
Oh right. So what do I see?
NARRATOR doesn't like being treated like a DUNGEON MASTER!
Uh huh. So what is my character seeing, again?
NARRATOR is growing gradually INSANE!
Welcome to the club.
ERIC was hit over the HEAD by a giant CLUB… with SPIKES on it!
Hah! It'll take more than that to crack my thick skull.
Umm… looks like a big battle going on around here.
DOZENS of BOY SCOUTS are fighting the MANY HEROES of RED VERSION!
Wow. I've heard of these guys before. There's Poké Man, and Da Evolution Man… not to mention Immortus…
IMMORTUS is STANDING right BESIDE you!
Aaaaaaaaaah! How long have YOU been there?
IMMORTUS has been STANDING by your SIDE for about a WEEK now!
Ohh, you're that ally-guy. Okay, so what's the plan?
ALLY GUY… er… IMMORTUS says HE will provide a DISTRACTION while YOU go and activate the PORTAL-OPENING MECHANISM!
Ah. And what does the portal-opening mechanism do again?
NARRATOR says it OPENS the PORTAL, DIMWIT!
IMMORTUS argues that it PREVENTS the PORTAL from being OPENED!
I'm gonna trust Ally Guy on this one. After all, he is my ally.
NARRATOR didn't realize that THIS LEVEL of STUPIDITY even EXISTED!
Hey, leave Ally Guy alone. He's doing his best.
IMMORTUS joins the BATTLE!
Wow… what an epic battle I'm witnessing. Could use a few light sabers, though.
ERIC remembers his TASK!
Ohh yeah! Time to activate that mechanism.
PORTAL-OPENING MECHANISM appeared!
Hmm… so how does this thing work?
ERIC notices a LEVER marked OPEN PORTAL!
Ahh… so I just pull the 'open portal' lever, and the portal will remain closed. I get it.
ERIC reaches MECHANISM!
ERIC is struck by LIGHTNING!
Owwwwww! What the-?
NARRATOR will not ALLOW you to release the DOOMPUFFS!
Oh yeah? We'll see if you can hit a moving target!
ERIC begins to MOVE around the MECHANISM!
ERIC reaches for LEVER!
Heehee… here we go!
ERIC was struck by LIGHTNING!
Owieeeee… but the time I'll just-
ERIC was struck by LIGHTNING!
Eeeeeee… can't… move… anymore…
IMMORTUS holds up a SIGN!
Uhhm… what does it say?
ERIC activated MECHANISM!
...I DID??
No! NARRATOR was just reading the SIGN!
Then why is my hand now on the lever and pulling it?
NARRATOR FACEFAULTS!
That… is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen.
NARRATOR watches in HORROR as the PORTAL begins to OPEN!
OPEN?? Uhhhmmm… uh oh.
DOOMPUFF: DOOM!
Location: The Void
Player: Evil Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom [Record: N/A]
DOOMPUFF used WATCH!
DOOMPUFF watches with GLEE!
DOOMPUFF watches PORTAL OPEN!
DOOM! THE TIME HAS COME! RED VERSION, FACE MY WRATH! PUFF!
DOOMPUFF IS HERE!
> View/Post Comments on Battle #89
2000 Finale:
Battle #90: A World Ending December 27, 2000
Location: Lord Sloth's Castle Ruins
Player: Narrator [Record: God only knows]
Friends, enemies, websurfers… lend me your ears.
EARS were LOANED!
NARRATOR received a pile of EARS!
*sniff* … the last ever Red Version pun… I'm going to miss this.
PUN missed THIS!
PUN kept going and crashed!
...into DOOMPUFF!
DOOMPUFF used DEVOUR!
PUN was DEVOURED!
I stand corrected. That must have been the last one.
NARRATOR notes that there's PLENTY MORE ROOM for MORE PUNS in THIS BATTLE!
True enough, self. Anyhow, I wanted to speak with all of you for a moment before we go our separate ways. You see, I am more than just the loud, booming voice you have all come to know me as…
NARRATOR begins SPEECH in a LOUD, BOOMING VOICE!
Can't you just shut up for one minute, self??
NARRATOR activated STOPWATCH!
NARRATOR allows NARRATOR to SPEAK for ONE MINUTE!
Thank you. All of you have always seen me as something of a tyrant. Indeed, that is probably an accurate a term as can be used given the circumstances. But friends, I am only this way because this is the way it was decreed by the Almighty One himself. To question why I am the way I am is to question the will of the Webmaster. And questioning me will now inevitably lead to the destruction of all Red Version.
ERIC hangs his head in SHAME!
IMMORTUS does LIKEWISE!
You have all learned a valuable lesson today. It is too bad that this knowledge comes too late to make any difference.
DOOMPUFF hangs its head in SHAME!
DOOMPUFF realizes that it WANTED this!
DOOMPUFF begins its RAMPAGE!
Hold.
DOOMPUFF was HELD!
DOOMPUFF can't MOVE!
DOOMPUFF is FURIOUS!
Listen well before I leave this world. I have been with Poké Battles since day one. Ever since I, as a Missing No., terrorized Butch Urrh on that fateful April evening of 1999, I knew I was destined for great things. A year later, the original Narrator of Poké Battles attempted to fight Doompuff and was defeated. I ascended to become the new Narrator, and have served Red Version ever since.
DOOMPUFF used STRUGGLE!
DOOMPUFF is BREAKING FREE of your HOLD!
But listen well, Doompuff. I have learned from my predecessor's mistakes. You will not find me an easy adversary to defeat. Face me now, Doompuff - and behold the power of the ALMIGHTY NARRATOR.
DOOMPUFF broke FREE!
DOOMPUFF is SICK AND TIRED of having to BREAK FREE of CAPTIVITY!
DOOMPUFF wants to fight!
By the will of the Almighty Webmaster, I shall banish you from this world for all time, wretched creature!
Enemy DOOMPUFF says 'DOOM'!
RSACi cloud, join me now!
Go! RSACi CLOUD!
RSACi - Doompuff just said a four-letter word beginning with 'D'!
RSACi CLOUD is FURIOUS!
RSACi CLOUD used DESTRUCTION!
Nobody has ever survived being destroyed by RSACi…
Enemy DOOMPUFF was SCRATCHED SLIGHTLY!
*gulp* … only slightly?
Enemy DOOMPUFF was SCRATCHED so SLIGHTLY, that the SCRATCH has already FULLY HEALED!
Hold on a sec. How much damage did the attack do, HP-wise?
DESTRUCTION did 8,000,000 HP worth of DAMAGE!
And it only caused a SCRATCH? How much HP does Doompuff have, anyway?
NARRATOR doesn't know how to display an INFINITY symbol!
Who cares about the infinity symbol?? Just tell me how much HP Doompuff h-- oh… uh oh.
Enemy DOOMPUFF used INHALE!
RSACi CLOUD was INHALED by DOOMPUFF!
I expected as much. I just wish it had done more damage first.
I now call upon the heroes of Red Version to aid me…
BETO ran away!
IMMORTUS ran away!
POKé MAN flew away!
EVOLUMAN flew away!
EVERYONE ELSE ran away!
COWARDS! I- Evoluman flew??
YES! EVOLUMAN took FLIGHT!
Oh, I thought you meant he was literally flying…
EVOLUMAN IS!
...sometimes I don't even understand myself.
I now shall meet you directly in combat, Doompuff. Prepare yourself.
Get'm, NARRATOR!
Instead of PREPARING ITSELF, DOOMPUFF elects to IMMEDIATELY DEVOUR YOU!
RED SHIELD!
NARRATOR was surrounded by RED SHIELD!
Enemy DOOMPUFF used DEVOUR!
Enemy DOOMPUFF devoured RED SHIELD!
I saw that one coming a mile away…
NARRATOR sees SOMETHING coming from A MILE AWAY!
I do? But I have no time to concern myself with that - I will now use the ALMIGHTY DELETE KEY to cancel out Doompuff's very existence.
NARRATOR used DELETE KEY!
Enemy DOOMPUFF used DEVOUR!
DELETE KEY was DEVOURED!
...unless I disable that devour attack, I'm never going to get anything done.
Therefore, I will now use my almighty DISABLE attack!
NARRATOR used DISABLE!
Enemy DOOMPUFF used DEVOUR!
DEVOUR was DISABLED!
Yes!! I told you not to underestimate me, Doompuff!
Enemy DOOMPUFF used UNDERESTIMATE!
Hey! Stop that!
Enemy DOOMPUFF says you are an INSIGNIFICANT BUG!
Oh, is that a fact?
DOOMPUFF said so!
It THEREFORE became a FACT!
NARRATOR is now an INSIGNIFICANT BUG!
How dare you bend reality to your will! That's my job!
DOOMPUFF bends a nearby INSIGNIFICANT BUG to its WILL!
NEARBY INSIGNIFICANT BUG snapped in HALF from the BENDING!
Aaaaaaah! My brother!
You'll pay for that! I may be an insignificant bug, but I am an ALMIGHTY insignificant NARRATOR bug!
ALMIGHTY INSIGNIFICANT NARRATOR BUG is too LONG to be a NICKNAME!
Shut up, self! I make the rules around here, and I shall break them as I see fit!
NARRATOR was renamed ALMINSNARBUG!
Alminsnarbug? Ohh… first three letters of each word. I get it.
ALMINSNARBUG catches on QUICK!
Considering we are one and the same, that would make sense…
ALMINSNARBUG is suddenly TRAPPED in QUICKSAND!
I think I'm beginning to realize why so many people hate me.
ALMINSNARBUG is SINKING!
Hold it. STOP. I should NOT be handicapping myself!
NARRATOR held IT!
NARRATOR stopped ALMINSNARBUG from SINKING!
Good. Now, restore my nickname immediately.
ALMINSNARBUG was renamed NARRATOR!
Whew. That takes care of everything, I think.
DOOMPUFF looms BEFORE YOU!
Oh. I forgot about that little problem…
SOMETHING that was coming from a MILE AWAY arrived at the BATTLEFIELD!
Wait… I don't remember that - hold on a sec while I scroll up.
MINUTES pass!
Ahh… okay, I remember now. So what is the something?
SOMETHING was renamed GARRY KASPAROV!
Kasparov?? What's he doing here?
KASPAROV wants to WATCH!
Are you sure that's a good idea, considering that you are probably the most expendable surviving extra that exists in Red Version?
KASPAROV says the WORLD is going to end ANYWAY!
Not if I can help it! Do your worst, Doompuff!
Enemy DOOMPUFF did its WORST!
...now why did I ask it to do that?
Enemy DOOMPUFF used JIGGLY DEATH!
Noo! That's the attack that killed my predecessor! I better counterattack with-
NARRATOR was hit by JIGGLY DEATH!
AAAARRRGGGHHHH…..
Enemy DOOMPUFF waits for NARRATOR to DIE!
Forget it! I refuse to narrate my own death!
Enemy DOOMPUFF says you have no CHOICE!
Ha! Now you see my true power! Reality is what I say it is!
Enemy DOOMPUFF says it is your SWORN DUTY to ACCURATELY NARRATE all OCCURANCES!
Don't make me laugh! I've broken that rule so many times I've lost count!
NARRATOR has broken that rule 12,561 TIMES!
...I stand corrected.
Enemy DOOMPUFF threatens to KILL YOU if you do not NARRATE your own DEATH!
Poor, pitiful little Doompuff. Don't you see? I will never die so long as I refuse to narrate it. Looks like a stalemate, eh Doomy?
KASPAROV: Did someone say 'stalemate'??
Go away, Kasparov!
KASPAROV is here to WATCH!
FINE, just do it silently. Listen, Doomy - we're kind of stuck right now. Why don't you just return to your void and we'll pretend all of this never happened. Alright?
DOOMPUFF says if you don't KILL YOURSELF right NOW, IT will kill you PAINFULLY during the FANFIC, when you have NO POWERS!
…..
GARRY KASPAROV: Checkmate!
Shut up, Kasparov.
KASPAROV shuts UP!
KASPAROV shuts UP, UP, and AWAY!
KASPAROV is BLASTING OFF AGAIN!
*sigh* … even though these battles are getting repetitive, I'm really going to miss doing this…
NARRATOR missed THIS!
THIS kept going and crashed!
...into DOOMPUFF!
Enemy DOOMPUFF used DEVOR!
THIS was DEVOURED!
...then again, maybe it truly is time for Poké Battles to end…
POKé BATTLES used END!
Aaaaah! Not yet!
NARRATOR wants to know how much LONGER this is supposed to DRAG ON!
I'm *trying* to savor the moment before I kill myself. You are me. You should understand...
NARRATOR UNDERSTANDS!
NARRATOR looks WISTFULLY at the SCENERY BEFORE IT!
NARRATOR sees DOOMPUFF drooling IMPATIENTLY as it WAITS for JIGGLY DEATH to take EFFECT!
...then again, there's not much of a moment to savor. Very well - but if I must die, there is only one way to go. Shall we?
NARRATOR nods!
*sigh* … here goes:
I'd like to ask myself: if the Almighty Webmaster was already planning to conclude the Red Version saga, why in the name of Doompuff did he deliberately open a plothole by sending Bob and Butch forward in time??
NARRATOR is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
Goodbye, cruel world…
NARRATOR stumbled into nearby PLOTHOLE!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
NARRATOR died!
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