9/17/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 21: Random Filler Battle 2

Player: Digiman [3-5-1] Last Battle: Draw vs. Heavily Armed Clown
DIGIMAN is in LIMBO!
You again...
No, this one is NARRATOR 8!
8 NARRATORS ALREADY!?
Hey, the benefits are decent. Plus you get free coffee.
...That was completely irrelevant to the question I just asked.
*sigh* Fine. here we go.
NARRATOR 1 was fired.
NARREPLACEMENT/NARRATOR 2 turned out to be Richard Simmons.
*shudder* Don’t remind me.
NARRATOR 3 died.
NARRATOR 4... Can’t remember.
NARRATOR 5 ran away.
NARRATOR 6 was fired.
NARRATOR 7/NEWRATOR died.
I am NARRATOR 8. Any questions?
Yeah. WHY HAVEN’T I GOTTEN OUT OF LIMBO YET!?
Don’t want you to.
...AAAHH! NARRATOR 2 IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!
WHAT!? WHERE?! RUN AWAY!!
Heh. All that free coffee pays off, huh?
Grr...
DIGIMAN was struck by LIGHTNING!
Ow! Stupid Narrator.
NARRATOR 8 is not STEWPYD!
...You misspelled stupid.
*STUPID
Oh great. Now we’re doing IRC corrections.
Yep!
Just bring in what I’m gong to fight.
There is no fighting here. This is a FILLER BATTLE!
...?
Webmaster ran out of ideas.
...Oh.
Just waiting... For 20 lines. Guess I’ll go program my answering machine while I’m at it.
Answering machine?
...
...Ergh.

9/18/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 22: Answering Machines (Random Filler Battle 3)

Player: Sir_Chargon [6-7-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Newrator
Helloooooooo... Narrator?
HELLO. THIS IS NARRATOR 8’S ANSWERING MACHINE. I’M TOO LAZY TO--
DAMMIT! Someone programmed my answering machine to talk bad stuff about me again!!
...
Let’s prorgram this again...
HELLO. THIS IS NARRATOR 8’S ANSWERING MACHINE. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A MESSAGE. WAIT FOR THE BEEP. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO TAKE A MESSAGE, HANG UP.
ANSWERING MACHINE used BEEP!
...That was scary.
SIR_CHARGON PLAYBACK: ...That was scary.
Hmph!
This is a Filler Battle, huh.
Yep.
Bleh. I hate doing this. But it beats racking my brain writing stuff like other battles out... For the time being.
Yep.
So...
So...
PHONE used RING!
Yes?
VOICE: WHAZZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!
...
SIR_CHARGON used HANGUP!
THAT was scary.
PHONE used RING!
...Yes?
VOICE: WHAZZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!
GO AWAY!!
SIR_CHARGON used HANGUP!
PHONE used--
DIE!!
SIR_CHARGON used SMASH!
PHONE was SMASHed to BITS!
PHONE fainted!
NARRATOR 8 gets IDEA for ASNWERING MACHINE!
Oh no...
HI. LEAVE A MESSAGE HERE. IF THIS IS JACK, I’M AT THE BAR. IF THIS IS MOM, I’M AT THE LIBRARY. IF THIS IS ANYONE ELSE, I’M AT A... PARTY. YEAH. WITH... THE POPE. YEAH, THAT’S IT. AND... YOU’RE NOT THERE. SO NYAH.
...
WHAZZZZZUUUUUUUP!
STOP THAT!!
SIR_CHARGON PLAYBACK: STOP THAT!!
...'Whazzzzuuuuup' is your tone.
Yep! Nifty, isn’t it?
Whatever.
FILLER BATTLE is OVER!
Good for it... Now go away.

9/19/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 23: Ye Olde Scream Rippoffeth

Player: Sir_Chargon [6-7-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Newrator
SIR_CHARGON is taking REST!
...Not anymore thanks to you...
NARRATOR 8 smiles!
Shut up.
PHONE used RING!
...
PHONE used RING!
I thought I killed that thing.
PHONE used RING!
SHUT UP! I’m answering it! Yes?
VOICE: Dost thou liketh scary movieths?
...What?
VOICE: Dost thou liketh scary movieths?
...
VOICE: Oh, screweth this. I’m righteth in fronteth of yon front dooreth, so openeth up and let me killeth thee.
No.
VOICE: NOWETH!! I’M COLD AND HUNGRY AND WANTETH TO GO YONDER CHAMBER ROOMETH!
Too bad.
VOICE: THEE IS AN IDIOTETH!
You are cold and hungry. Do the math.
VOICE: ... *click*
PHONE used DIALTONE!
Smart man.
SHADOWY FIGURE is BEHIND SIR_CHARGON!
Hi weird figure thing.
SHADOWY FIGURE shouts many PROFANITIES followed by ETH!
You know, sometimes I like having Narrators around... Extra security.
SIR_CHARGON pulled off DARK ROBE!
CROWD conveniently appeared and used GASP!
Dun-dun-duuuuun!
Shut up and reveal identity now.
SHADOWY FIGURE was renamed...
Dun-dun-duuuuun!
STEWARD RIBSON!
Dun-dun-duuuuun!
STOP WITH THE--
Dun-dun-duuuuun!
Yeah, that! Stop it!
TALL GUY wearing UGLY SCARF appeared!
TALL GUY: That’s not Steward Ribson! It’s...
Dun-dun-duuuuun!
SHUT UP!!
TALL GUY pulled off STEWARD RIBSON’s HEAD!
TALL GUY: ...Maybe it WAS Steward Ribson... Ehehehe, ehehehehehe... Oh my.
TALL GUY ran away!
...That was weird.
Yep.
STEWARD RIBSON fainted!
SIR_CHARGON won!

9/20/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 24: Java, Pringles, Final Fantasy (AKA The B.R.A.D. Pringles Commercial)

Player: Sephiroth [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. LVKoffing
GO AWAY!! THIS IS NOT A COFFEE HOUSE!
SEPHIROTH used MEGA KICK!
LVKOFFING was KICKed REALLY HARD!
LVKOFFING: JAVA JAVA KOFFEE KOFFEE! OPENOPENOPENOPEN!!
NO! OUR COFFEE, NOW LEAVE!!
LVKOFFING used JUMP AROUND!
MUSIC starts up!
CAN OF PRINGLES appears and starts SINGING!
EVERYONE starts DANCING like IDIOTS!
...
...Except SEPHIROTH...
Better.
LVKOFFING: KOFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Okay, that’s it.
SEPHIROTH used MASAMUNE!
LVKOFFING: JAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
No effect!
Argh... Wait a second...
SEPHIROTH grabbed CAN OF PRINGLES!
Heeeere Koffing Koffing Koffing Koffing...
LVKOFFING: JAVA KOFFEE KOFFEE JAVA!
SEPHIROTH rammed CAN OF PRINGLES down LVKOFFING’s THROAT!
LVKOFFING ate CAN OF PRINGLES!
Heh heh heh...
MUSIC stops!
EVERYONE stops DANCING and now glares at LVKOFFING!
Bye bye.
LVKOFFING: Koffee?
EVERYONE used ULTIMATEATTACK!
LVKOFFING was sent FLYING over HORIZON and BACK to LAVENDER VERSION!
SEPHIROTH won!
Okay everyone... Back to partying.
SEPHIROTH opens CAN OF PRINGLES II!
MUSIC starts up again!
EVERYONE starts DANCING again!

9/21/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 25: Another Killer

Player: Phone-Answering Monkey [no record.]
PHONE-ANSWERING MONKEY appeared!
Oh great...
EEE EE EE!
Ugh... This is indignifying...
OO OO EE EE EE AAAH EEEE!!
PHONE used RING!
P-AM used PICKUP!
Ee?
VOICE: Dost thou liketh scary movieths?
Eee aah oo oo EE EE AAH!
VOICE: OWWETH! STOP SCREAMINGETH IN MY EARETH, THOU UNCIVILIZEDETH... Uh... THINGETH!
Eee oo oo...
VOICE: Never mindeth... I’m going to come killeth thee, so just stayeth there, okeyeth?
...
VOICE: Helloeth?
P-AM used HANGUP!
VOICE: DAMMITETH!
Eee?
P-AM is WONDERING why its still hears VOICE...
VOICE: Uh... I am an illuuuuustioooooneth...
VOICE is an ILLUSION!
VOICE: Eth.
Fine...
VOICE is an ILLUSION...ETH...
Eee aah oo oo aaahh...
SHADOWY FIGURE appeared!
Oo?
SHADOWY FIGURE used SHOWER STABBING SCENE from PSYCHO!
Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!
EE EE AAAAHH!
P-AM used SELF DEFENSE!
SHADOWY FIGURE was thrown across ROOM into WALL!
SHADOWY FIGURE went through WALL!
WALL fainted!
EE EE AAAHH OO OO EE!!
P-AM tore off SHADOWY FIGURE’s ROBE!
SHADOWY FIGURE was renamed CYAN!
CYAN: Hmpheth!
OO OO AH AH EE EE OO!
P-AM used SCRATCH, CLAW, and BITE!
CYAN was BRUTALLY MAULED into a BLOODY PULP!
CYAN fainted!
P-AM won!
EE EE EEE EEE!!