9/2/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 6: LEEM... LOM... LIMBO! Yeah, That's it.

Player: Digiman [3-6-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Peasants
DIGIMAN is in LIMBO!
Grrr... That Angular Man thinks he can take over my spot, he’s got another thing comin’!
ANGULAR MAN has ANOTHER THING coming!
Quiet, you! I’ve got my plan AAAAALLLLLLL formulated...
DIGIMAN has PLAN AAAALLLLLLL formulated!
SHUT UP!
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN appeared!
Heavily Armed Clown went flying over the horizon.
DIGIMAN used RATHER POWERFUL PUNCH!
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN flew back 5 FEET!
Damn. Must be all that facepaint.
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN wants to fight!
Fine. Go, Puppetmon!
Go! PUPPETMON!
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN used MASSIVE GUNFIRE BARRAGE!
That doesn’t sound good...
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN blew PUPPETMON into TINY SPLINTERS!
AAH!
PUPPETMON fainted!
Go, MetalEtemon!
The enemy’s a violent circus freak! Go, METALETEMON!
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN used MASSIVE GUNFIRE BARRAGE!
It’s not very effective...
Hah. MetalEtemon, Banana Slip!
METALETEMON used BANANA SLIP!
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN involuntarily WALKED onto CLEVERLY PLACED BANANA PEEL!
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN slipped!
That was fun.
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN’s GRENADE NOSE went BOOM!
METALETEMON fainted!
HEAVILY ARMED CLOWN fainted!
It’s super effective!
...Uh... Nobody else here. What was hit so ‘super effectively’?
YOU!
Oh. Uh, ow?
DIGIMAN fainted!
BATTLE was DRAW!
HEY!
NARRATOR 5 laughs MENACINGLY!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Okey dokey then... Just need to recover and find a way outta here... Angular Man, watch out...

9/3/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 7: Why You Should NEVER Make Fun of the Narrator

Player: Angular Man [1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Circular Man
Look! In the SKY!
It’s a SQUARE!
It’s a CUBE!
It’s...
ANGULAR MAN!
HEY!
Bwa.
ANGULAR MAN flew into TREE!
Ow... What the?
TREE is ANGRY!
Tree wants to fight?
YES!
Stop stealing NARRATOR 5’s LINES!
No. That’s fun.
ANGULAR MAN suddenly got hit by GIANT METEOR!
Shut up and start fighting!
...Erm...
WHAT?!
It’s kinda hard to fight when you’re stuck under a giant rock similar to the size of our moon...
Oh... Uh, sorry.
GIANT METEOR disappeared!
TREE sent out TREE!
Go, Narrator 5!
Go! NARRATO... HEY!
Whee.
NARRATOR 5 doesn’t think this is FUNNY!
I do.
Well, let’s just see about that, then!
NARRATOR 5 rearranged ANGULAR MAN’s ANGLES!
What? HEY! Ow! AH! That tickles! That doesn’t! LAY OFF! STOP!
NARRATOR 5 is DONE!
Uh... AAAAHH!
ANGULAR MAN was renamed ANGULAR WOMAN!
YOU DAMN NARRATOR! CHANGE ME BACK!
TREE fainted in LAUGHTER!
NARRATOR 5 is about to collapse from LAUGHTER as well!
NOW!!
NO!
YES!
NO!
YES!
NO!
...Fine. I’ll just...
AAAAAAAHHH! OKAY OKAY, I’LL CHANGE YOU BACK, JUST NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!
Good.
ANGULAR WOMAN was renamed ANGULAR MAN!
Better. Now, foul Tr--
ARMY OF TREES appeared!
Uh oh.
ARMY OF TREES don’t look HAPPY!
This is bad... Tactical retreat.
ANGULAR MAN ran away!
ARMY OF TREES won!

9/4/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 8: When Doompuffs Read Manga

Player: Sir_Chargon [6-6-0] Last Battle: Apparent Win vs. Digiman
SIR_CHARGON is DRAWING!
Yes I am, now go away.
NO!
...Fine.
SIR_CHARGON has finished his BLAINE MANGA!
Yes... Completely, totally, finished. And after only about 4 months too!
NARRATOR 5 wants to know how SIR_CHARGON can create a 95-page MANGA in 4 MONTHS...
Hours of labor and hard work. Now shut up and let me finish my Seiken Densetsu 3 manga.
SEIKEN DENSETSU 3 MANGA wants to fight!
...Figures, doesn’t it. And why?
SD3M has been IGNORED for the past 4 MONTHS!
Therefore, SD3M is ANGRY and wants to fight!
Fine then.
SD3M sent out HAWK!
Go, Kuberei!
Go! KUBEREI!
Pay Day.
KUBEREI used PAY DAY!
Coins scattered everywhere!
KUBEREI grabbed all the COINS!
*sigh* Money-grubbing cat...
HAWK used FLYING SWALLOW TOSS!
Critical hit!
KUBEREI flew into WALL!
KUBEREI fainted!
Hm. Strong. Go, Dark Umbreon!
Go... AAAAHH! WHAT IS THAT!?
Shut up and--
NARRATOR 5 ran away in FEAR!
Great. NEW NARRATOR!
NARRATOR 6 took control of BATTLE!
HAWK used SHARK TEETH!
It’s not very effective...
Moonbeam!
DARK UMBREON used MOONBEAM!
Critical hit!
HAWK fainted!
Now to--
SD3M sent out DURAN!
...I tire of this. Return, Dark Umbreon.
Enough! DARK UMBREON!
Go me.
The enemy’s a drawing! Go, SIR_CHARGON!
VERSION WARP!
SIR_CHARGON used VERSION WARP!
SD3M and DURAN were sent to PORTAL WORLD!
WHAT!? Dammit, now I have to start over...
DURAN fainted!
DOOMPUFFS appeared!
Oh GREAT.
DOOMPUFFS are reading SD3M!
DOOMPUFFS like SD3M!
!?
SD3M abruptly ended at PAGE 103!
Uh oh.
DOOMPUFFS are ANGRY!
DOOMPUFFS tore SD3M to SHREDS!
AAAAAAAHHHH! NOO! NONONONONONONOOOOOO!!
NARRATOR 6 wants to know why SIR_CHARGON is SCREAMING in AGONY!
Because it took me a REALLY long time to get up to that point! AND DOOMPUFF TORE IT TO BITS!! YOU THINK YOU’D BE A LITTLE ANGRY AT THAT!?
SD3M fainted!
...NARRATOR...
Uh oh...
SIR_CHARGON won!

9/5/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 9: The Iron... Spoon? Lid? Saucer-thingy?

Player: Evil Icecream [no record.]
EVIL ICECREAM appeared!
BAH! It is that... VOICE THINGY!
VOICE THINGY is NARRATOR 6, and never FORGET IT, greenie!
BAH! BAH, I tell you! BAAAAAAHH!
Yeah, well BAAAAAAAHH! to you too.
RESPECT ME! I am...
DRAMATIC MUSIC starts up!
Thank you. I am... THE EMPEROR OF ICECREAM... THE RULER OF FROZEN DAIRY... I AM...
EVIL ICECREAM!
HEY!
WHAT?
YOU STOLE MY MOST IMPORTANT LINE!
So what? You took too long. And...
NARRATOR 6 sealed EVIL ICECREAM’s ability to use SHIFT KEY!
hey1 stop this1 baaaaaaaaaahh11
NARRATOR 6 doesn’t like seeing the number 1 after sentences.
so/ you did this to me, you... undo it.
NO!
bah1
EVIL ICECREAM fainted!
i’m still here.
EVIL ICECREAM died!
still here.
EVIL ICECREAM is...still here.
yes1 now give me back my shift key11
Fine.
EVIL ICECREAM was given back SHIFT KEY!
Good. Now, onto--
ICECREAM MINIONS are REBELLING!
What? But it’s not for the next 3 days.
...
Oh, BAH! Moderately Disgruntled Rocky Road, go and calm them.
MDRR used CALM!
ICRECREAM MINIONS used RIOT!
MDRR burst into FLAMES... What the--!?
BAAAAAAAH!
MDRR melted!
Quite Miffed Chocolate Chip, go finish the job.
QMCC ran away!
BAH to you I say, then! I guess it is up to me.
Go! EVIL ICECREAM!
Poking them with a stick shall help this, I calculate.
EVIL ICECREAM used POKE!
ICECREAM MINIONS were POKEd with a SHARP STICK!
ICECREAM MINIONS were unaffected!
BAH!
NARRATOR 6 is starting to develop an EXTREME DISLIKE to
the word BAH...
Care I do not. Now, back to business.
EVIL ICECREAM clears THROAT!
1...2...3. CALM DOWN YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF SLIGHTLY HARDENED SOFT-SERVE YOGURT!!
ICECREAM MINIONS calmed down!
Better.
ICECREAM MINIONS ran away!
Huh?
EVIL ICECREAM turned around!
AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!
To be continued...

9/6/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 10: A Battle Draws Near! Command?

Player: Loto [no record.]
Loto? My name is LOTO?!
YES!
It’s ERDRICK, dammit! ER-DR-ICK!
LOTO!
ERDRICK! ERDRICK! ERDRICK ERDRICK ERDRICK CHANGEMYNAMEORI’LLTELLONYOU!!
Fine.
Player: Erdrick [no record.]
Better.
A SLIME draws near!
Oh GREAT. Just what I need. More of that ‘A (insert random name here) draws near! Command?’ crap.
Command?
Fight.
ERDRICK attacked the SLIME!
SLIME fainted!
Thou hast--
Defeated the Slime, thou hast earned 1 experience and 1 gold,
yadda yadda. Let’s get on with this.
ERDRICK is WALKING!
BAD OVERWORLD MUSIC is PLAYING!
...
A GIANT SPLEEN OF CERTAIN DOOM UPON EYE CONTACT draws near!
ARGH!!
Command?
I’M SICK OF THIS! I QUIT! I DON’T CARE IF HAVE A CHILD THAT HAS A CHILD THAT HAS A CHILD AND SO ON UNTIL ONE BECOMES A HERO AND IS RECORDED ON THE FIRST REAL CONSOLE RPG! I’M OUTTA HERE!
Can’t escape!
GSOCDUEC used EYE CONTACT!
Blah.
Thou hast died.
Good for me.
Thou art dead.
I know.
Thou are not supposed to talk.
SHUT UP AND END THIS!!
Thou art now nearing the end of yon battle.
NOW!
Thee’s battle is now over.