10/12/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 46: Union?

Player: Salesman Army [2-2-2] Last Battle: Uh... I dunno. WAAAAAY back there.
SALESMAN ARMY is suffering HEAVY LOSSES!
HELLO SIR!
MACARONI ARMY is suffering HEAVY LOSSES!
CROOKED SALESMAN would be suffering HEAVY LOSSES, but they keep STEALING basically EVERYTHING the FIRST TWO ARMIES bring OUT!
...PLAN HAS BEEN MADE, SIR!
SALESMAN ARMY used PLAN!
MACARONI ARMY is WAITING for PLAN to BACKFIRE!
WE NEED MACARONI SIRS!
...
MACARONI ARMY doesn’t WANT to JOIN IN PLAN!
IT IS FOR THE FUTURE OF RUBY VERSION SIR!
MACARONI ARMY knows!
WE ARE CALLING A TRUCE, SIR? TO DESTROY CROOKED SALESMEN?
MACARONI ARMY says... YES?
OKAY SIR!
MACARONI ARMY joined SALESMAN ARMY!
FANFARE plays in BACKGROUND!
ONWARD SIR!
SALESMAN/MACARONI ARMY used ONWARD!
SALESMAN/MACARONI ARMY appeared in CROOKED SALESMAN CAMP!
CSALESMEN: GO AWAY SIR!
HELLO SIR!
SALESMAN ARMY used HELLO SIR!
MACARONI ARMY ran away!
...
CSALESMEN: DIE SIR!
CSALESMEN sent out GIGANTIC ROBO-CSALESMAN!
YOU TOO SIR!
SALEMAN ARMY sent out ONION OF LIGHT!
...UH OH.
ONION OF LIGHT used BOOM!
NOXIOUS HOLY FUMES appeared!
CSALESMEN: NOOOOOOOOO!
What will become of the Crooked Salesmen? What, exactly, is an Onion of Light? Where the hell did the Narrator go?
I’M STILL HERE!
...Oh. Well, anyway, stay tuned for the next episode... of DRAGON BALL Z!
...You’re fired.
Bah...
To be continued...

10/13/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 47: Bad Luck

Player: Grandpa [5-9-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Tree
GRANDPA appeared!
Dag-nabbit, what now?
TODAY is FRIDAY the 13TH!
So?
BAD LUCK is SUPPOSED to HAPPEN on THIS DAY!
About 7000 MOVIES are also being PREMIERED today!
Today’s supposed to be full of bad luck, so you pick me to dump it all on?
EXACTLY!
Con-flabbit!
FRIDAY THE 13TH used BAD LUCK!
BLACK CAT appeared!
Hello, Kitty.
BLACK CAT was renamed K I T T E N!
...Hello, Kitty!
K I T T E N used SLASH!
RANDOM EXTRA was SLICED into TINY TINY SHREDS!
...Oh boy.
GRANDPA used RUN LIKE HELL!
GRANDPA... RAN LIKE HELL!
K I T T E N followed at a somewhat leisurely pace!
GRANDPA ran under 11 LADDERS!
Oh, that’s just plain unoriginal.
FRIDAY THE 13TH used BAD LUCK!
LADDER fell on GRANPDA!
Con-sarnit, why didn’t you pick SOMEBODY ELSE to torture!?
NARRATOR X simply looked at STANDINGS!
Dag-nabbit...
K I T T E N reappeared!
NOO!
K I T T E N wants to KILL!
FRIDAY THE 13TH used BAD LUCK!
DARKPUFF appeared rather conveniently and ate K I T T E N for STEALING his LINE!
...Never thought I’d thank HIM...
DARKPUFF: BUY GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL OR DARKPUFF EAT YOU.
Guess I won’t be either. Just... HERE! Take it all!
GRANDPA gave DARKPUFF his WALLET!
DARKPUFF: ...THIS NOT ENOUGH. DOOM!
IT’S ALL I HAVE!
DARKPUFF: BUY GEORGE FORMAN GRILL!
...Just eat me. Eat me now, and save me the pain and suffering of today...
DARKPUFF: DOOM.
DARKPUFF used EAT!
GRANDPA was EATen!
Thank you.
FRIDAY THE 13TH used BAD LUCK!
DARKPUFF exploded!
What the--?! HEY!
DARKPUFF reassembled!
DARKPUFF is ANGRY!
DARKPUFF wants to fight!
Who?
GRANDPA!
...Oh.
To be continued... MUAHAHAHAHA...

10/14/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 48: Bad Luck II (Random Filler Battle 7)

Player: Grandpa [5-9-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Tree
DARKPUFF wants to fight!
Fine! Go, Hugestick!
Go! HUGESTICK!
DARKPUFF used THREAT!
DARKPUFF: GUY GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL OR DARKPUFF EAT YOU! DOOM!
HUGESTICK paid NO ATTENTION!
Attack, Hugestick!
HUGESTICK used ATTACK!
VIKINGS appears and TRAMPLED DARKPUFF!
...Or rather, TRIED TO, but DARKPUFF ate them all!
Figures. Con-sarnit!
FRIDAY THE 13TH used BAD LUCK!
UMBRELLA appeared out of NOWHERE and proceeded to BEAT the LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of HUGESTICK!
It's super effective!
...Okay... And it's not Friday anymore.
WEBMASTER wrote this BATTLE on FRIDAY THE 13TH and UPDATED it on FRIDAY THE 13TH, so TECHNICALLY, it is still FRIDAY THE 13TH!
Con-flabbit!
HUGESTICK fainted! Use next Pokémon?
Put up your Dukes, Darkpuff! HAHAHA!
GRANDPA sent out DUKES!
DARKPUFF sent out DUKES as well!
What the--!?
DARKPUFF put up his DUKES!
Argh... THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!
DPUFF-DUKES used GENERAL LEE!
The GENERAL LEE ran over DUKES!
DUKES fainted!
Which one?
BOTH of them!
...
DARKPUFF is ANGRY!
DARKPUFF is thrashing about!
RANDOM BUILDING was DESTROYED!
RANDOM BUILDING fainted!
...
DARKPUFF is thrashing about!
ENTIRE CITY was DESTROYED!
CITY fainted!
Woah... Hey, why didn't I get destroyed too?
Uh... I dunno...
DARKPUFF is thrashing about!
Still!?
Uh... NEARBY ISLAND OF NO SIGNIFICANCE THAT HAPPENED TO APPEAR FOR THE SAKE OF THE CONTINENT NOT BEING DESTROYED was DESTROYED!
NIONSTHTAFTSOTCNBD fainted!
...This is messed up.
NARRATOR X thinks BATTLE has TAKEN a WRONG TURN!
You got that right.
DARKPUFF disappeared!
NARRATOR X stamps this as FILLER BATTLE!
GRANDPA won!
...

10/15/2K: 02 WARRIOR BATTLE 49: The Lyfe, the Derth, and the Just Plain Freaky

Player: Derth [3-2-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Bill Gates (Zombie)
DERTH appeared!
Oh, GREAT, it’s the NARRATOR. How happy I am to see you...
DERTH is HAPPY to see NARRATOR X!
NARRATOR X is TOUCHED!
...I was being sarcastic, you IDIOT.
...
NARRATOR X’s FEELINGS were HURT!
NARRATOR X broke down in TEARS!
Does anyone else think that the Narrator is acting a bit too feminine right now?
WHAAAAAAA...
...
SIR_CHARGON appeared!
Oh, hello.
WHAAAAAAA...
SHUT UP!
To not confuse everyone, SIR_CHARGON blessed upon himself the GRAY TEXT!
There.
Cool.
WHAAAAAAA...
I SAID STOP IT!!
WHAAAAAAA...
This is already getting annoying...
SIR_CHARGON kicked NARRATOR X several times!
...
What? I’m a Webmaster, I can Narrate myself.
Oh.
WHAAAAAAA... WHY ARE YOU KICKING MEEEEEEEE?
I’m kicking you because you won’t SHUT THE HELL UP AND DO YOUR JOB!
...NARRATOR X began to CRY even HARDER!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
Screw this.
SIR_CHARGON used FIRE!
NARRATOR X was FIREd!
SIR_CHARGON used HIRE!
NARRATOR 11 appeared!
There we go.
Okay...
NARRATOR 11 used CONTINUE!
SIR_CHARGON disappeared!
Bye...
LYFE appeared!
What the--!? I thought one of the Narrators turned Lyfe into a cereal...
He DID!
...Oh.
LYFE is ANGRY!
I can tell.
LYFE wants to fight!
Go me.
DERTH sent out DERTH!
LYFE sent out MILK!
KILL!
DERTH used KILL!
MILK can’t be KILLed!
Argh.
MILK used SPOIL!
MILK was renamed R-MILK!
DERTH needs VENTILATION, badly!
Ugh... That smell... Lyfe, you have gone too far!
LYFE stepped back!
I hate these puns... Makes me wish the ads came back.
Wild AD appeared!
Wild AD appeared!
Wild AD appeared!
Wild AD appea--
NOT REALL-- hey... WILD Ad, eh? HyperBall, GO!
DERTH used HYPERBALL!
AD was caught!
Give a nickname to AD?
No... We’ll keep it as AD.
AD was renamed... AD!
...Go, Ad!
The enemy’s breakfast! Go, AD!
Advertize.
AD used ADVERTIZE!
LYFE CEREAL! KIDS THINK IT’S GOOD.
...Well, THAT was rather convenient.
LYFE used SCREAM!
LYFE is SCREAMING!
LYFE fainted!
DERTH won!