Dark Archives

[1-5] | [6-10] | [Tour. 1] | [11-15] | [16-20] | [Fanfic 1] | [21-25] | [26-30] | [War Event] | [31-35] | [36-40] | [Fanfic #2]

The Original and the Best!

Other sites like this one. But you wouldn't want to click on this... why don't you just stay here?

à Battle Listings
à Email da Webmaster
Comment on the latest Battles!

My collection of non-pokebattles fanfiction, much of it dark...

DARK VERSION IS AT:

#3

Dark Version
Home of Team Rocket, The   Horde, Black Version, and all the Video Game Villians you could shake a stick at...

Dark Version Records: 

A win/lose/draw record of each character that has participated in all Dark Version Battles to date, followed by a list of the battles in which the character has participated in. Battles within Fanfics do not count towards records.

Team Rocket

Bill: 0:1:0 | 3, 14, F1
Butch & Cassidy: 0:1:0 | 15
Deven: 5:6:1 | T1, 11, 14, 18, F1, 21, 24, 27
Jessie: 5:6:1 | 7, 10, T1, 11, 14, 18, F1, 21, 24, 27
Simon the Lumberjack: 0:2:0 | 16, 24

Dead/Captured

Editor: 2:3:2 | 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, T1, 17, F1
James: 0:2:1 | 7, 12
Oak: 0:4:0 | 4, 8, 13, 17, F1
Red Warriora: 43:0:0 | 19, F1
Tree Man: 2:0:0 | 16, 20, F1
Yellow Archera: 0:0:0 | 19, F1

Other

Anarrator: 2:1:0 | 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 13, 17, 18, 19, 20, F1, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 
Ash: 0:1:0 | 15
Baa'gryl: 1:0:0 | 26
Cranky Bob: 1:1:0 | 10, 12
Da Evolution Mana: 0:1:0 | 20, F1
Dark Doompuff: 2:0:0 | 18, F1
Engineer: 0:0:1 | 11
Garrett: 7:6:2 | 2, 3, 6, 7, T1, 12, 16, 20, F1, 21
Innocent Bystander: 0:0:1 | 11
Josh: 0:0:0 | 22, 25
Misty: 0:1:0 | 15
Pikachu/?????: 1:0:0 | 18, F1
The Popcorn Man: 0:0:0 | 17, F1
Tracey: 1:0:0 | 15
Wood Golems: 1:0:0 | 24

Recap: The very face of Dark Version was warped, so what effect does this have on its inhabitants?

Battle #40.5: Fanfic Aftermath... November 26th, 2000
Player: Giovanni

BOSS appeared!
LOTS OF TRXTRAS appeared!
TRXTRAs ran away to QUARTERS!
BOSS went to RECONNAISSANCE!
TRRECOGUY appeared!
Hmm... now, what's this I hear about Hammy trying to take over MY version?
TRRECOGUY says there's a BIGGER PROBLEM!
What could be more important than that!
TRRECOGUY says to LOOK OUTSIDE!
What?
GIOVANNI looked OUTSIDE!
LANDSCAPE looks UNFAMILIAR!
GIOVANNI is CONFUSED!
He hurt himself in his confusion!
Ow... where are we?
TRRECOGUY says TRBASE was moved!
TRRECOGUY says TRBASE is currently in the SOUTHERN SECTOR of DARK VERSION!
Southern sector?
DARK VERSION has been SPLIT into FOUR DISTINCT SECTIONS!
Each SECTION is home to one of the GREAT EVILS of DARK!
TEAM ROCKET owns SOUTH SECTION!
So, we now only own one quarter of Dark?
THIS is CORRECT!
I'd like to talk to the Webmaster about this...
WEBMASTER gives TR FULL REIGN over any other SECTION or VERSION which they should happen to CONQUER!
WEBMASTER thinks TR will have TROUBLE conquering OTHER SECTIONS!
Grr... Where is Hammy's army? I've never liked that little hampster...
BLACK VERSION owns NORTHERN SECTION!
Typical. Who own the other two sections?
WESTERN SECTION belongs to ORCISH ARMIES!
EASTERN SECTION belongs to ROTVGV!
Err... Rot-vegiv?
Something-something-something Video Game Villians!
WEBMASTER should pay more ATTENTION!
Hmm... maybe we should expand our territory elsewhere before attempting to take over Dark...
NARRATOR notes that you already have fairly good footholds in RUBY and LIGHT version!
NARRATOR suggests you concentrate your forces on RUBY VERSION as CROOKED SALESMEN are battling LOTS of SALESMEN and MACARONI!
Macaroni?
Ask DEB! Or her KITTY...
...
Then take over the versions that HAMMY has already WEAKENED!
Wait a minute... why are you helping me?
NARRATOR would prefer YOU own DARK VERSION than HAMMY, WARCRAFT ARMIES or ROTVGV!
Why?
HAMMY has a NASTY HABIT of KILLING NARRATORS!
ROTVGV are TOO MANY and TOO VARIED to NARRATE well!
And the WARCRAFT ARMIES are just too damn STUPID!
PLUS, NARRATOR likes having TRARMIES at his BECK AND CALL!
YOUR beck and call?
NARRATOR just likes TEAM ROCKET, OKAY?
NARRATOR decides to check out OTHER SECTORS!

Player: Hammy

Work, you fools! I want my fortress constructed!
FOOLS are WORKING!
WORKING for FOOLS consists of JUGGLING and making JOKES!
HACs too!
HAMMY is starting to get enraged!
Hey! Just because you're clowns doesn't mean you can sit around juggling!
HAMMY used EXAMPLE!
HAC was made an EXAMPLE out of!
HAC was HACKED to bits! Psychically!
FEAR OF HAMMY greatly ROSE!
CONSTRUCTION SPEED greatly rose!
Hello, a local Narrator...
NARRATOR fears HAMMY!
Good. You're smarter than the last ones, anyway...
ONES? Gulp...
NARRATOR ran away!
Heh... might even let that one live. Now, work!

Player: Doomhammer

DOOMHAMMER takes a deep breath!
Ah! New territory to take! Nothing can stand before the almighty Horde!
HORDE used AYE!
AAH! How did they get in here?
DOOMHAMMER is in the middle of a REALLY BIG FIELD!
Eh?
DOOMHAMMER owns ONE QUARTER of this WORLD!
However, that QUARTER is just EMPTY FIELD with occasional SCENERY, RIVERS, and a couple of STRAGGLING HEROES!
Well... why aren't the peons building?
PEONS haven't been ORDERED to build!
When did that matter?
PEONS have no INITIATIVE!
PEONS must be ORDERED!
Hmm... What are you waiting for?
PEONS are waiting for ORDERS!
DUH!
Not them! My commanders!
COMMANDERS woke up!
COMMANDERS want to know if you mean THEM!
No, the human commanders. GET WORKING!
COMMANDERS think that WORK is the PEON's JOB!
DOOMHAMMER is becoming FRUSTRATED!
NARRATOR would LOVE to stay and TORTURE DOOMHAMMER further, but has ONE MORE APPOINTMENT!

Player: Giovanni

Eh? I thought I already came here...
NARRATOR remembers that an ALTER-GIOVANNI is in the ROTVGV BASE!
What's this? A Narrator?
NARRATOR is a NARRATOR!
...
NARRATOR can't believe how stupid that sounded...
Have you got any reason for being here?
NARRATOR simply wanted to check upon the FOURTH PRIME EVIL of DARK VERSION!
Oh. I don't suppose you could see to the others around here? They're starting to get a little restless without any heroes to fight...
NARRATOR is REALLY BORED already!
NARRATOR leaves!

Player: Dark Webmaster

NARRATOR has seen the new LAYOUT of DARK VERSION!
Hmm... do you like it? I thought it would be better to give the guys a section each so they didn't kill each other before they take out the good guys and help me take out the network...
NARRATOR wonders why this is even a BATTLE!
Eh... I needed something to write. You know I'm writing that Darkfic... It's hard to write pokebattles and darkfics at the same time.
DWMASTER used SHAMELESS PLUG!
It's super effective!
DVFANS were directed to UNTITLED DARKFIC!
UNTITLED DARKFIC! READ IT NOW OR DIE!
Eh-hem.
BATTLE was denied an OFFICIAL NUMBER!
What?
BATTLE was renamed THE BATTLE BEFORE NUMBER FORTY-ONE!
Shouldn't that be battle forty?
BATTLE FORTY was HOLYGARY fighting WARCRAFTARMIES!
I know. Isn't that the battle before number forty-one?
BB#41 is THIS BATTLE!
No, this is battle #41.
THIS has no BATTLING!
BATTLE FORTY-ONE is NEXT BATTLE!
If you'll look at the title up the top, you'll see it says...
TITLE says BATTLE #40.5!
NARRATOR is SMUG!
Ah, get out of here. I've got work to do.

Recap: What happens when someone asks a favor when I'm in a depressive mood...

Battle #41: Grounded... November 26th, 2000
Player: Webmaster

DARKWEBMASTER is THINKING!
Yeah, damn right I’m thinking.
WHAT is DWMASTER THINKING about?
I’m busy, could you go somewhere else? You’re starting to bug me…
NARRATOR used BUG!
DWMASTER turned into a CATERPIE!
DWMASTER is fully BUGGED!
Cate!
NARRATOR suddenly remembered WHO that CATERPIE is!
NARRATOR hurriedly CHANGED DWMASTER back!
If I wasn’t so busy, Narrator, I’d think up some really evil thing to do to you. But I guess it will wait…
NARRATOR wants to make it up!
NARRATOR wants to HELP!
Oh good.
NARRATOR wants to know what you’re BUSY with!
Yeah… well, a friend of mine just opened a new version…
NARRATOR wants to know what that has to do with YOU!
MANY of DWMASTER’s FRIENDS own VERSIONS!
Yeah, well, his first battle involves Dark, and now – despite having about five versions' worth of characters and at least ten hostile crossovers I have to write about and a certain Darkfic taking all of my time – I have to devote a couple of battles to his version.
NARRATOR thinks DWMASTER is SOME FRIEND!
Oh, I’ll do it. It’s just I’ve got a temporary writer’s block.
NARRATOR notes that you’re WRITING a BATTLE as we SPEAK!
Yeah, and what's your point?
NARRATOR is wondering why you don't just make THIS into the battle!
Couldn't be bothered. Battle end!
WEBMASTER used END BATTLE!
BATTLE was ENDE...
NARRATOR cancelled the attack!
What? What do you think you're doing?!
NARRATOR says that if YOU won't do it, he'll do it himself!
Go ahead.
NARRATOR's FAITH in the WEBMASTER greatly fell!
NARRATOR heads off!
Good riddance...
...
...
WEBMASTER is really not a nice person!
WEBMASTER should ENJOY assisting his friends!
ALRIGHT! I'll do it! Geez... anyway, weren't you leaving?
NARRATOR forgot to ask exactly what needed to be DONE!
Sigh...
WEBMASTER used WARP JUMP!
WARP is JUMPING around the ROOM like a KOFFING hooked on JAVA!
Narrator...
NARRATOR couldn't resist!
WEBMASTER and NARRATOR warp-jumped to TRTERRITORY!
TRLABS appeared!
GIOVANNI, JESSIE, DEVEN, and TRSCIENTISTS are examining PROJECT!
PROJECT is DEVEN's SANDSLASH!

Player: Deven

Thanks for doing this, Gio... Having a conventional pokemon was beginning to bug me...
DEVEN's NON-HOMICIDAL ATTITUDE is beginning to bug GIOVANNI!
IT makes him FEAR for the STABILITY of the UNIVERSE!
NARRATOR points out that this UNIVERSE is POKEBATTLES and therefore has NO STABILITY!
Anyway, could you explain the function of this machine?
GIOVANNI is DISTURBED by DEVEN's INTELLIGENT way of SPEECH!
GIOVANNI also points out that you already KNOW its FUNCTION!
Yes, but the readers don't.
GIOVANNI wonders why that matters!
Because this probably won't make much sense unless they do!
GIOVANNI thinks it better if they don't know!
SANDSLASH is EVOLVING!
JESSIE points out that they probably KNOW the effect now!
Well... what has it evolved into?
SANDSLASH is still EVOLVING!
EVOLUTION by MACHINE is UNNATURAL!
So? This is pokebattles... unnatural things have never mattered before...
EVOLUTION is taking a LONG TIME!
DEVEN is beginning to become IMPATIENT!
What's wrong with this thing?
DEVEN used KICK!
He hurt the MACHINE in his IMPATIENCE!
NARRATOR is sorry he has already used up his RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE joke!
MACHINE became UNSTABLE!
EVOLUTION was sped up!
Yes!
What? SANDSLASH is EVOLVING!
SANDSLASH evolved into...
Yes? What? What is it?
MACHINE's INSTABILITY greatly rose!
MACHINE began to effect UNIVERSE!
UNIVERSE is losing STABILITY!
...
NARRATOR thought he already pointed out that this UNIVERSE has no STABILITY!
FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE was WARPED!
FotU was RIPPED!
SIDE UNIVERSE was created!
SIDE UNIVERSE evolved into GROUND VERSION!
Another version?
EVOLVING SANDSLASH was pulled into GROUND VERSION!
As the first existing being in GROUND VERSION, ESANDSLASH became WEBMASTER!
SANDSLASH evolved into SANDSLASHCT!
Quickly! Call the troops! I WANT THAT SANDSLASH!
GIOVANNI wants GROUND VERSION!
GIOVANNI called TRXTRAs!
TRXTRAs appeared!
TRXTRAs stormed into GROUND VERSION under command of DEVEN!
YET ANOTHER HOSTILE CROSSOVER for WEBMASTER to WRITE APPEARED!
WEBMASTER sighed and went off to make the threatening phone call documented in GROUND VERSION!

Recap: Maybe now we'll see some of the characters again?

Battle #42: Round and round the Spinnywheel goes, where it stops... December 17th, 2000
Player: Webmaster

MOB of DISGRUNTLED FANS appeared!
DISGRUNTLED FANS want to know why there hasn't been any battles recently!
Err... I'd like to make a formal apology for the lack of battles recently.
DISGRUNTLED FANS are LISTENING!
It's the last few weeks of school for the year, and I had a TON of work to hand in, or I get kept down. And that takes precedence over Pokebattles, I'm afraid.
DISGRUNTLED FANS don't think so!
DISGRUNTLED FANS don't CARE if you get kept down!
DISGRUNTLED FANS simply want more POKEBATTLES!
I also note that if I get kept down I will never be able to even touch a computer again in my life, let alone write battles or access the internet.
DISGRUNTLED FANS stop!
DISGRUNTLED FANS think that's a good point!
Is there anything else?
DISGRUNTLED FANS used HUDDLE!
DISGRUNTLED FANS check LIST!
DISGRUNTLED FANS used UNHUDDLE!
...
...
DISGRUNTLED FANS are trying to get back into FORMATION!
...
...
For god's sakes, what do you want?
DISGRUNTLED FANS note that the last few battles have starred YOU!
DISGRUNTLED FANS want to know when you are going to get back to DARK VERSION!
Err... No comment.
DISGRUNTLED FANS are WAITING!
ALRIGHT! I've got serious Writer's Block, okay? I've got too many characters, I can't decide who to do first!
What about the CROSSOVERS?
Although Dark Version is taking over about ten versions, only about three of those are currently active. And I can't decide what to do in any of them either!
DISGRUNTLED FANS are still DISGRUNTLED!
DISGRUNTLED FANS will want to see some battles soon!
DISGRUNTLED FANS ran away!
DWMASTER wins... for now!
Phew... that was close.
NARRATOR thinks you're off school now!
Yup! It's all over, thank god! Summer holiday time!
NARRATOR thinks you'll have PLENTY of time to write DARK VERSION BATTLES then-
SHUT UP!
Not so loud! We don't want them to know that!
Err... NARRATOR wants to know why not!
They'll expect me to write battles!
NARRATOR thinks that's the POINT!
...
NARRATOR wants to NARRATE already!
Alright... But I don't know who to choose!
NARRATOR suggests RANDOMNESS!
Hmm... I dunno, I remember what happened to Matt in Flame Version not long ago...
TOO MUCH RANDOMNESS is NOT GOOD!
However... a LITTLE randomness never hurt anyone!
I guess so...
SPINNYWHEEL appeared!
EVERY DARK CHARACTER's NAME was PRINTED in a TINY SEGMENT of SPINNYWHEEL!
SPINNYWHEEL is COMPARABLE IN SIZE to DARK VERSION!
Hmm... maybe we should get rid of some of the extras...
EXTRAS were DELETED!
DARK VERSION's population greatly fell!
Aah! No! Just their names, not THEM!
EXTRAS reincarnated!
DARK VERSION's population was RESTORED!
SPINNYWHELL was CORRECTED... but is still REALLY BIG!
DARK VERSION has MANY CHARACTERS!
Duh. Now, SPIN IT!
DARK WEBMASTER used SPIN!
WHEEL was SPUN!
WHEEL used ROLL!
Hey! Didn't you attach it to anything?
NARRATOR thought YOU did that!
*sigh*
CHASE THAT WHEEL!
WHEEL used ROLL!
WHEEL rolled through WALL!
WHEEL is loose in DARK VERSION!
WHEEL rolled into ROTVGV territory!
Let's move, Narrator!
...
NARRATOR will MEET YOU THERE!

Player: Tai

Where have we landed this time?
DIGIDESTINED have LANDED on DARK VERSION!
DIGIMON have landed on DIGIDESTINED!
It's rather painful!
Agumon! Get off me!
AGUMON apologizes profusely!
AGUMON is SORRY for LANDING on you!
Yeah, but being sorry doesn't get you off me.
AGUMON gets off... and lands on MATT!
MATT now has TWO DIGIMON on him!
NARRATOR patiently waits for everything to SORT ITSELF OUT!
...
...
...
Are you done yet?
Err... I think so.
NARRATOR wonders if you've seen a giant multicoloured WHEEL roll by?
Err... I don't think so.
NARRATOR thinks you'd REMEMBER!
Hey, who's that?
WHITE SHINING FIGURE is CRAWLING TOWARDS you!
Gee, I think I figured that myself.
But the READERS didn't!
Readers?
WHITE SHINING FIGURE appears to be in INCREDIBLE PAIN!
Why do you say that?
Can't you hear him SCREAMING?
No...
WSF used SCREAM!
It's super EAR-PIERCING!
Aaah! Stop that!
DIGIMON used ATTACKS in their PAIN!
WSF was hit!
WSF was ALTERED by ATTACK ENERGY!
WSF is FINISHING EVOLVING!
Eh?
NARRATOR realised who WSF is - EVOLUMAN!
What? EVOLUMAN is EVOLVING!
EVOLUMAN evolved into...
GIANTSPINNYWHEEL appeared!
GIANTSPINNYWHEEL used ROLL!
GSW knocked EVOLUMAN flying!
GIANTSPINNYWHEEL rolled away!
DIGIDESTINED win!
DIGIDESTINED are CONFUSED!
They hurt THEMSELVES and EACH OTHER in their confusion!
WEBMASTER passed in chase of SPINNYWHEEL!
NARRATOR chased WEBMASTER!
DIGIDESTINED are even MORE confused!
BATTLE ENDED before anything could be DONE about it!

Battle #43: Pokebattles hater vs. Pokebattles? Should be interesting. December 23rd, 2000
Player: Saiyan Devil Girl

NARRATOR warns of SPIN...
Shut up.
SDG does not appear to be in the BEST of MOODS!
Of course. Because I'm here.
NARRATOR is INSULTED!
NARRATOR wants to know what's wrong with HERE!
I hate pokebattles!
READERS used GASP!
Hmm... NARRATOR thinks this should be very interesting indeed!
What?
POKEBATTLES has had ACCEPTION and DENIAL before, but NARRATOR doesn't think there's ever been a PLAYER that LOATHES the very CONCEPT!
Well, there's one now.
NARRATOR will ENDEVOUR to change your mind!
Well... you could get me back to the Message Board...
MESSAGE BOARD is DESERTED!
EVERYONE is HERE!
Everyone?
Well... actually not EVERYONE...
Well, I'm gonna get back then.
NARRATOR wonders WHY you hate POKEBATTLES so much!
Beca-
Hold on...
GIANT SPINNYWHEEL appeared!
GSW rolled by!
WEBMASTER appeared!
WEBMASTER chases GSW!
GSW rolled away!
WEBMASTER ran away in CHASE!
SDG wins!
Err... stuff like that. I don't even know why I'm here.
NARRATOR wonders if you're an ORIGINAL CHARACTER?
No! I'm the creation of a friend of an enemy of the Webmaster who goes to that board that was dropped into this version...
O_o
I didn't even think the webmaster had permission to use me...
NARRATOR used EVIL GRIN!
NARRATOR notes WEBMASTER was EXPRESSLY DENIED permission to use SDG in DARK VERSION!
Err... Doesn't that mean I'm not allowed to be here?
The way WEBMASTER sees it, the CREATOR hates POKEBATTLES, therefore will never VISIT this SITE and find out!
...!
SDG is so ANNOYED she can't SPEAK!
NARRATOR loves his JOB!
Now... SDG needs someone to FIGHT!
HACXTRA appeared!
HACXTRA leveled at least 8 ITEMS of MASS DESTRUCTION at SDG!
*sigh* Is that the best you can do?
HACXTRA says you should be SCARED!
HACXTRA is CONFUSED!
It hurt itself in it's confusion... with the HEAVY WEAPONRY!
HACXTRA was GRAPHICALLY DISEMBOWELED, before EXPLODING in a mass of GORE and GUN BITS!
SDG wins!
NARRATOR says that wasn't FAIR!
SDG was supposed to LOSE!
Hey...
5 HACXTRAS appeared!
Wow. Now I'm really scared.
NARRATOR is becoming FRUSTRATED!
NARRATOR pleads with you to WORK WITH HIM!
Hmph.
HACXTRAS unleashed HEAVY FIRE!
SDG was enveloped in SMOKE!
...
TENSION killed EVERYONE... literally!
HACXTRAs died!
SMOKE cleared!
SDG is completely unharmed!
I did say you'd have to do better than that.
NARRATOR summoned FREIZA!
Hey, this is more like it!
SDG used POWERUP!
It's super GLOWY!
LIGHT could be seen from a LONG WAY!
MANY PEOPLE fell down clutching their EYES!
Huh?
Dark version, no sun, no light, it's always dark here...
SDG used KICK!
FREIZA flew off into the distance!
Well, that was easy...
FREIZA trailed FROZEN GOODS!
FREIZA was renamed FREEZER!
Very funny.
NARRATOR apologizes! It was the best he could do on such short notice!
EVILICECREAM appeared!
Huh?
EVILICECREAM doesn't know where it IS!
Oh well, I may as well kill this thing.
EVILICECREAM doesn't THINK SO!
EVILICECREAM used POKEBAP!
SDG was POKED and BAPPED repeatedly with a SWORD!
SDG is SOMEWHAT MIFFED!
Hey... I actually felt that... you're more powerful than you look!
NARRATOR notes it's NOT HARD!
NARRATOR wonders what EIC is doing in DARK VERSION!
EIC says it grew TIRED of the ETERNAL HIATUS in RUBY and SHADOW and went to find somewhere ELSE to take over!
EIC intends to CONQUER DARK VERSION!
Starting with YOU!
EIC wants to fight!
Eh... go ahead, take the place to pieces, I won't stop you.
There's no running from a TRAINER BATTLE!
That thing's a trainer?
EIC sent out FROZEN LEG OF HAM!
Eh?
It's Christmas, after all!
I repeat, Eh?
SDG is confused!
No! No eh!
SDG is confused no more!
Well... I'm not a trainer, so...
SDG flew away!
EIC used BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
EIC wins!
 

Battle #44: Meanwhile, elsewhere... December 30th, 2000
Player: Garrett the Holy

NARRATOR appeared!
Oh good, just what I need. I'm a little busy here, Narrator-dude, and I think I'm gonna stay that way for a while...
CORPSE-STREWN BATTLEFIELD appeared!
EXCESSIVE NUMBERS of ORCS appeared!
No, they've been there all along.
NARRATOR only just NOTICED them!
THEREFORE, in a sense, they APPEARED to him!
Enough with the Theory of Narration, more with the battling.
EXCESSIVE NUMBERS of ORCS used CHARGE!
ENO CHARGED with LITTLE THOUGHT for THIER LIVES... or HOLYGARY's!
Why can't you twist their attacks?
NARRATOR thinks it's funnier if it's 5000:1 against YOU!
Yeah, well, they can live with the disadvantage.
NARRATOR notes that you're feeling awfully confident!
Watch this.
HOLYGARY used SPINSTRIKE!
EVERYTHING within approx 2.5 METRES of HOLYGARY was CLEAVED in TWO!
Other ORCS backed off!
NARRATOR used HEAD COUNT!
It's astoundingly EASY, since almost all of the HEADS are lying SEPERATELY!
NARRATOR counted 25 heads!
HOLYGARY killed approximately 22 ENEMIES with one sweep of his BLADE!
What happened to 25?
NARRATOR notes that there were three TWO-HEADED OGRES among the OPPONENT!
Whoops, hold on...
ENO used CHARGE!
ENO CHARGED with LITTLE THOUGHT for THIER LIVES... or HOLYGARY's!
HOLYGARY used SPINSTRIKE!
It had exactly the same effect as last time!
Other ORCS backed off!
NARRATOR wonders how long this has been going on for!
Since battle #40, I think...
That was nearly TWO MONTHS ago!
NARRATOR thinks you should have completely decimated the entire ORCISH ARMY by now, at that rate!
Watch and learn.
DEATHKNIGHTS used RAISE SKELETONS!
CORPSES rose from the DEAD and started ATTACKING!
NARRATOR understands now!
SKELETONS used POUNCE!
HOLYGARY used BLOCK!
HOLYGARY lacks a SHIELD!
HOLYGARY blocked with his SWORD!
SKELETONS were SHATTERED into MANY PIECES!
HOLYGARY was hit by RECOIL!
What possible recoil could there be?
SKELETON PIECES kept going and CRASHED!
It's not very effective...
If you think you're going to see any more than this, this is all that's happened for the last two months.
NARRATOR thinks this could get boring after a while...
Tell me about it.
AREA was wreathed in DARKNESS!
It's always wreathed in darkness. It's Dark Version.
AREA became DARKER!
FIGHTING stopped!
I can't say I'm complaining.
SPOTLIGHT appeared!
2 SHADOWY FIGURES appeared!
DRAMATIC BACKGROUND MUSIC appeared!
SF1: To protect the world from devastation!
SF2: To completely support deforestation!
SF1: To denounce the evils of truth and love!
SF2: To chop down all tree under the stars above!
SF1: JESSIE!
SF2: LJSIMON!
JESSIE: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!
LJSIMON: Surrender now or feel my Axe's bite!
Why am I not suprised?
JESSIE and LJSIMON were given their respective COLOURS!
Why do you have to go and make up your own section of the motto? What's wrong with the traditional?
I like my part. Anyway, yours is getting repeditive. Why don't you make up a new one?
You're just jealous because I'm a true pokemon character, and a Red Version character as well!
You're a Red Version character? Then why is there a Jessie still running around in Red Version?
What?
THROWING AXES flew by TR's HEADS!
TR fell from PERCH in SHOCK and landed next to HOLYGARY!
Get up, you two... the only way we're gonna get out of this is if we work together.
TR got up INDIGNANTLY!
How dare you suggest such a thing! We're here to fight you!
ENO used MENACE!
I think we should listen to him, Jess.
Weapons out, people.
Oh, alright.
JESSIE sent out METALFAN!
LJSIMON sent out BIG AXE!
Hey, when did that thing evolve?
While you were busy off in the labs after the war event, I was training.
Oh.
ALL THREE are holding REALLY BIG WEAPONS!
Alright people, we charge on three. It's time to take the offensive.
HG and TR used CHARGE!
HG+TR CHARGEd onto THREE!
THREE was TRAMPLED!
Oh, so you're twisting OUR attacks.
Of course! n_n
Right. Go!
HG+TR used ATTACK!
THREE ORCS were HIT!
TWO were slashed in HALF!
ONE was CRUSHED to DEATH!
OTHER ORCS ready COUNTERATTACK!
Hmm... maybe that didn't work...
HG+TR formed a CIRCLE!
Go for wide attacks... take down as many of them as you can. They don't seem that strong.
Alright... but wait for them to attack.
ENO used ATTACK!
Now! Rust spore!
Shrapnel storm!
Earth shatter!
SOME ORCS had their WEAPONS and ARMOUR RUST to NOTHINGNESS!
SOME ORCS were BADLY INJURED by FLYING SHRAPNEL!
SOME ORCS were UNBALANCED by SHATTERED LANDSCAPE!
MANY ORCS were UNHARMED!
This is going to take forever!
Tell me about it, I've already been doing this for two months.
GIANT SPINNYWHEEL appeared!
Oh, what now?
GIANT SPINNYWHEEL used ROLL!
GIANT SPINNYWHEEL mowed through ENO like they weren't THERE!
Ahh! It's heading right for us!
HOLYGARY jumped out of the WAY!
TR jumped out of the WAY!
GSW caught LJSIMON's AXE!
No! My weapon!
GSW rolled on!
Well, I'm glad that's over with...
LJSIMON bent to pick up AXE!
JESSIE moved back into BATTLE MODE!
TR was hit by WEBMASTER!
WEBMASTER flies on in chase of GSW!
TR is blasting off again!
HOLYGARY uses the path formed by GSW to ESCAPE!
ENO blink for a moment, then give CHASE!
...
...

Player: Ogre Mage Captain

I'm telling you, any attack used in this environment may not have it's original intent used. The amount of magical energy simply humming through the air is phenomenal.
If we could find a way to harness such a power...
DEATH KNIGHT wonders how that would be achieved!
PEON is trying not to listen to the conversation that concerns him not!
GRUNT is wondering why you aren't chasing after the paladin with the OTHERS!
I believe the power revolves around that voice. It seems to do nothing but talk about what has happened, but maybe what happens happens because it says so...
The demon in the air has the power to control the universe...
DEATH KNIGHT believes that everything works just PERFECTLY here!
Yeah? Well, let's see... the Bloodlust attack should simply make someone a little stronger and faster, let's see what it does...
OGREMAGE cast BLOODLUST!
Are you sure that was the right spell to cast?
PEON was hit!
PEON got BLOODLUST!
What? PEON is evolving!
PEON evolved into EVIL RABID PEON of DOOM!
Ooh... maybe you're right. That wasn't the right spell.
DEATHKNIGHT thought OGREMAGES were supposed to be SMARTER!
Well, it's just a Peon, right? It won't be able to do that much...
DOOMPEON obtained BIG AXE!
DOOMPEON evolved into EVIL RABID BIGAXE-WEILDING PEON of DOOM!
AXEDOOMPEON grinned!
What sort of grin?
ADJECTIVES that could be used to describe GRIN:
Insane, evil, destructive, scary, homicidal and generally NASTY!
Oh boy.
GRUNT used AXE SWING!
AXEDOOMPEON used GRAB!
PEON snapped GRUNT's AXE in HALF with VERY LITTLE DIFFICULTY!
GRUNT became very NERVOUS!
PEON snapped GRUNT in HALF with VERY LITTLE DIFFICULTY!
RUN!
Agreed!
ORCS ran like CRAZY!
AXEDOOMPEON laughs insanely and gives chase!

Recap: Ground Version was recently shut down, and its not-so-vast population moved to the newbie Lunar Version. But what of Deven, who was somehow left behind? 

Battle #45: Adventures in a non-existant version January 7th, 2001
Player: Deven

Once a powerfully thriving version - even though it had less than ten battles, and less than ten non-extra characters - Ground version... simply wasn't. A figure picked his way through the devastated, empty post-apocalyptic landscape... devoid of life or landmark, it could only be compared to a nuclear test site...
Yeah, enough with the story mode.
NARRATOR was just trying to get the MOOD right!
Narrator? Hey, you're the old Dark Version guy. The 'rator here calls himself 'Red' for some reason. Or at least used to.
NARRATOR wonders what happened here!
Not sure. Anyway, what are you up to here?
NARRATOR thinks that DARK FANS might be getting a little bored with the standard WEBMASTER CHASING SPINNYWHEEL topic!
...Eh?
DEVEN is CONFUSED!
DARK PORTAL appeared!
SPINNYWHEEL rolled through!
DARKWEBMASTER flew past in CHASE!
DARK PORTAL appeared!
SPINNYWHEEL rolled through!
DARKWEBMASTER flew through in chase!
DARK PORTALS closed!
Previous SEVEN LINES took approximately 2.3 seconds!
Oookay...
NARRATOR wonders where everyone IS!
Dunno... I haven't seen anyone since some huge portal appeared and sucked everyone in...
NARRATOR thinks the VERSION has SHUT DOWN!
Then why am I still here?
NARRATOR thought YOU could shed some light on that!
Nup...
NARRATOR is beginning to get bored...
Of course. What use is a Narrator in a version with one character? Battles are impossible.
NARRATOR used TELEPORT!
NARRATOR teleported GROUND VERSION's ENTIRE POPULATION here!
JAMES appeared!
You!
DEVEN grabbed JAMES by his TRVEST and held him OFF THE GROUND in an EXTREMELY THREATENING MANNER!
JAMES went EEP!
NARRATOR's INTEREST greatly rose!
Where is everyone? Where's that stupid Jessie clone that was with you before? Where's my Sandslash?
JAMES notes that the VERSION has shut down, JESSIE ran off chasing the various MALE CHARACTERS of the version, and the SANDSLASH moved to LUNAR VERSION!
Ah... so that's what that big portal was... how did you get away?
JAMES was hiding behind a ROCK!
Typical. Little coward. Not suprising, for a clone...
JAMES claims he's NOT a CLONE!
Oh yes... we've already got two Jameses in Dark, not to mention one in Red, and the actual Pokemon show, and pokemon Yellow on Gameboy... Several in various other versions... they were all around before you.
JAMES notes that YOU'RE probably a clone!
Nope. Original character, mate.
DEVEN holds out BIRTH CERTIFICATE!
BC: Deven: Original Character of The Jeb, originally created to serve in a fanfic but was transferred to Dark Version after the fic failed.
JAMES curses freely!
JAMES doesn't WANT to be a CLONE!
Live with it.
NARRATOR thought there would be a BATTLE there!
NARRATOR is DISAPPOINTED!
JAMES wonders why YOU weren't moved to LUNAR VERSION!
Err...
PLOTHOLE appeared!
Geez, narrator, you left that long enoooo-- waaah!
DEVEN and JAMES fell into PLOTHOLE!
Ahhhh!
JAMES screamed like a LITTLE GIRL!
PLOTHOLE was renamed LUNAR PORTAL!
DEVEN and JAMES landed HARD!
TRIGDIG appeared!
Hey, you're...
TRIGDIG is the MERGED/EVOLVED FORM of SANDSLASHCT!
MY SANDSLASH!
James, get him!
TRIGDIG wonders if this is a JOKE!
JAMES wonders if this is a JOKE!
Huh?
TRIGDIG thinks that it's RIDICULOUS to pit him against such a pitiful opponent!
JAMES thinks that it's RIDICULOUS to pit him against such a pitiful opponent!
You think he's that weak, James?
JAMES was talking about TRIGDIG!
Oh. Well, I've got a suprise for you...
DEVEN used ROCKET BALL!
ROCKET BALL! Made BY Rockets, FOR Rockets, AGAINST Rockets!
Available at a TR Headquarters near RUBY VERSION!
Anyway... JAMES was CAUGHT!
Would you like to give a nickname to JAMES?
Nah, just send him out.
DEVEN sent out JAMES!
JAMES doesn't WANT to battle!
You don't have a choice.
JAMES doesn't think you have the BADGES to CONTROL him!
Err... damn!
JAMES laughs!
Wait, I know...
DEVEN pulled a GAMEBOY out of his POCKET!
Ha!
NARRATOR points out that GAMEBOY was DESTROYED when you fell through PORTAL!
EFFECT of WHATEVER DEVEN was about to DO was somewhat RUINED!
Damn you... uh... wait!
NINTENDO! They're great, they're rich, they own pokemon, they're so much better than that Sony crap... BUY NINTENDO!
DEVEN used ADVERTISE!
NINTENDO are GREATFUL!
NINTENDO sent LARGE AMOUNTS of NINTENDO/POKEMON STUFF to DEVEN!
Heh...
DARKWEBMASTER disagrees!
DARKWEBMASTER has just purchased a PS2, and currently prefers SONY!
LAoN/PS were DESTROYED!
No!
SINGLE GAMEBOY remains!
Phew... thank you, Almighty Webmaster...
JASONROSS appeared!
Eep...
JASONROSS wants to know who you're calling ALMIGHTY!
Err... aren't you dead?
JASONROSS: Err...
PLOTHOLE appeared!
JASONROSS fell through PLOTHOLE!
Now...
DEVEN inserted PKMNGOLDGAME!
DEVEN showed off total of 16 BADGES!
See? You have to obey me!
JAMES doesn't!
JAMES thinks that's in the GAME!
THIS is REAL LIFE!
Really? I thought this was Pokebattles...
JAMES used DENY!
...which was based on the game...
JAMES isn't LISTENING!
Which means that you're under my complete control.
JAMES is under your COMPLETE CONTROL!
Now, let's get that Sandslash.
TRIGDIG is nowhere in SIGHT!
What?
TRIGDIG got tired of your ARGUMENT some time ago, and LEFT!
DEVEN wins!
I don't care! I WANT THAT SANDSLASH!
DEVEN sets off in HOT PURSUIT!
DEVEN ran away!
NARRATOR sits there for a moment!
NARRATOR starts laughing!
DEVEN was RUNNING the WRONG WAY!

Player: Ogre Mage

...A demon with control of reality is best contained in a sub-reality...
...and to make sure of it's containment, make sure such a sub-universe may be completely subservient on this one, and not vice-versa...
...So long as this sub-reality is kept stable, it should not be able to escape, and other preperations may be made at will without fear of the demon meddling...
OGREMAGE is reading a LARGE BOOK!
NARRATOR wonders what it is ABOUT!
Err... nothing.
Yeah, you wouldn't be interested.
OGREMAGE is hiding BOOK behind it's BACK!
NARRATOR thinks you're HIDING something!
You shouldn't worry about it...
NARRATOR grabs BOOK!
Hey, how'd you do that?
NARRATOR is EVERYWHERE!
NARRATOR looked at BOOK COVER!
BOOK was renamed HOW TO SUMMON AND CONTROL DEMONS!
NARRATOR thinks he understands!
You do?
*gulp*
OGREMAGE is planning to SUMMON a DEMON in order to help TAKE OVER the OTHER THREE SECTIONS of DARK VERSION!
OGREMAGE looked at each other... no, that didn't sound right...
Yes, that's what we're doing.
You're exactly right.
NARRATOR will let you get on with it then!
NARRATOR left!
Hmm... what a naive fool...
Maybe this will be easier than we thought...