Pokebattles

Dark Archives [1-5] \| [6-10] \| [Tour. 1] \| [11-15] \| [16-20] \| [Fanfic 1] \| [21-25] \| [26-30] \| [War Event] \| [31-35] \| [36-40] \| [Fanfic #2] \| [41-45] \| [46-50] \| [Tour 2a] \| [Tour2b] \| [Tour2Final]
Ahh, pokebattles. The wonderful creation of one Jason Ross, which has grown to become one of the most popular pokemon-related... things... on the internet. (And in case anyone's wondering, yes I'm just sucking up to Jason here.) Well, Jason's incredible contribution to pokemon comedy on the internet has, of course, inspired many others to rip off his style and create their own pokebattles. I'm proud to be counted within their ranks, and hereby present to you... Dark Version... Oh, and one more thing... I can't join the network unless I include a link to Jason's original Red Version, so here it is.
*Updates:* Dark Version will be updated, well, whenever I get a chance. Due to internet restrictions and my constantly screwed-up computer, I can't guarantee it will be updated at any specific time, but it'll hopefully happen at least once a week. Fanfiction will be added whenever I can be bothered. August 8th: Finally back into the general flow of battles, the general scuffling of Dark Version seems to be coming to a point, as the Narrator's new allegiance shows through, and a new character of great importance is thrown unwillingly into the fray... July 28th: The Tournament has come to a close. The Final Battle has been posted... with ramifications that may, sooner or later, affect all of Dark... And maybe more... July 25th: Well, here we are again. One battle done, and only one battle to go. So go read it. pokepoke July 19th: Looks at time between battles Ouch... Sorry, the 'rents have been playing up, and I haven't had nearly as much net time as I thought I did. This tournament's been going for too long... don't worry, I've got one battle up, another one approaching shortly, and then the grande finale... Battle #12/14, up!
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Links to Other Versions... The Original and the Best! Other sites like this one. But you wouldn't want to click on this... why don't you just stay here? à Battle Listings à Email da Webmaster Comment on the latest Battles! My collection of non-pokebattles fanfiction, much of it dark... DARK VERSION IS AT: A Numerical point between #1 and #X, where X equals the number of sites currently competing in the network: Dark Version Home of Team Rocket, The Horde, Black Version, and all the Video Game Villians you could shake a stick at... Dark Version Records: A win/lose/draw record of each character that has participated in all Dark Version Battles to date, followed by a list of the battles in which the character has participated in. Battles within Fanfics do not count towards records. Team Rocket Bill: 0:1:0 \| 3, 14, F1 Butch & Cassidy: 0:1:0 \| 15 Deven: 5:6:1 \| T1, 11, 14, 18, F1, 21, 24, 27 Jessie: 5:6:1 \| 7, 10, T1, 11, 14, 18, F1, 21, 24, 27 Simon the Lumberjack: 0:2:0 \| 16, 24 Dead/Captured Editor: 2:3:2 \| 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, T1, 17, F1 James: 0:2:1 \| 7, 12 Oak: 0:4:0 \| 4, 8, 13, 17, F1 Red Warriora: 43:0:0 \| 19, F1 Tree Man: 2:0:0 \| 16, 20, F1 Yellow Archera: 0:0:0 \| 19, F1 Other Anarrator: 2:1:0 \| 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 13, 17, 18, 19, 20, F1, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 Ash: 0:1:0 \| 15 Baa'gryl: 1:0:0 \| 26 Cranky Bob: 1:1:0 \| 10, 12 Da Evolution Mana: 0:1:0 \| 20, F1 Dark Doompuff: 2:0:0 \| 18, F1 Engineer: 0:0:1 \| 11 Garrett: 7:6:2 \| 2, 3, 6, 7, T1, 12, 16, 20, F1, 21 Innocent Bystander: 0:0:1 \| 11 Josh: 0:0:0 \| 22, 25 Misty: 0:1:0 \| 15 Pikachu/?????: 1:0:0 \| 18, F1 The Popcorn Man: 0:0:0 \| 17, F1 Tracey: 1:0:0 \| 15 Wood Golems: 1:0:0 \| 24		Recap: Yep, it's a filler battle... I don't know why I'm doing a filler battle, This is probably the worst possible time for a filler battle, what with the huge excess of characters... But I had this idea, I wrote a huge battle, and I really couldn't be bothered waiting to lose the next Battle Day on Yellow Version with it... Battle #46: Three guesses what the Webmaster thinks of Pikachu... January 17th, 2001 Player: Pikachu NARRATOR is BORED! NARRATOR is LOUNGING in DARKWEBMASTER's FORTRESS! ... Huh? What the? NARRATOR suddenly realises he's in a BATTLE! NARRATOR teleported to LOCATION! ... NARRATOR hasn't MOVED! NARRATOR realises BATTLE is based HERE! NARRATOR wonders who could be in FORTRESS! Pika! o^_^o Eee... this not good. Pika? Err... the WEBMASTER hates PIKACHU! PIKACHU is in GRAVE DANGER if it STAYS HERE! PIKACHU should leave! P... pikachu? o;_;o Err... no... don't cry... PIIIKAAA! PIKACHU wails NOISILY! TEARS fly out EVERYWHERE in a solid STREAM! NARRATOR is SORRY! sniff Pika? PIKACHU stops CRYING! PIKACHU should LEAVE! Pika? If WEBMASTER finds PIKACHU here, PIKACHU will be fed to RABID MB CHARACTERS! Pika... o;_;o No... not again... NARRATOR was suddenly cut off by an ALARM! NARRATOR zooms over to CONTROL PANEL! CONTROL PANEL warns of INCOMING DANGEROUS OBJECT! SPINNYWHEEL crashes through WALL! SPINNYWHEEL used ROLL! SPINNYWHEEL rolled through OTHER WALL! WEBMASTER appeared! Err... Hi boss... WEBMASTER is CHASING GIANTSP... WEBMASTER stops! WEBMASTER wonders what you're doing in his FORTRESS! Err... WEBMASTER realises a BATTLE is occurring! Um... WEBMASTER wants to know who's in here! Well, thing is... WEBMASTER looked at INTRO! WEBMASTER roared in FURY! WEBMASTER wants to know where the PIKACHU is! Right there... oh... uh-oh. WEBMASTER will find PIKACHU! Pika! WEBMASTER heard a PIKACHU! WEBMASTER runs towards SOUND! NARRATOR followed! WEBMASTER found PIKACHU! Pikapika! WEBMASTER pulled out LARGE WEAPON OF PAINFUL DEATHS! Pika? WEBMASTER prepared to use LWoPD! Pika! PIKACHU pointed DOWN! PIKACHU pointed at what it was SITTING ON! WEBMASTER froze! NARRATOR laughs! PIKACHU is sitting on WEBMASTER's BRAND-NEW PLAYSTATION 2! This is not funny, Narrator. Get it off. NARRATOR will not! What? NARRATOR finds this very AMUSING! PIKACHU starts sniffing PS2! Eee! Don't let it damage it! WEBMASTER carefully put down LWoPD! Okay, little guy... I'm not gonna hurt you... come here... WEBMASTER carefully approached PIKACHU! Pikapika! o^_^o PIKACHU began to charge up a THUNDERSHOCK! WEBMASTER immediately FROZE! THUNDERSHOCK ENERGY disappated! Hehehehe... If that thing damages my machine, you're fired. NARRATOR has a way to LURE the PIKACHU off! Anything! NARRATOR grinned! WEBMASTER was transformed into a FEMALE PIKACHU! Maybe not anything. Uh-uh! Only pokemon talk for you. Pika! Pikapikapika! WEBMASTER used FI... alright! WEBMASTER was changed back! Uh... that was disgusting. PIKACHU began CHEWING on the PRETTY BLACK BOX! NOO! Bad pikachu! WEBMASTER hit PIKACHU with a BROOM! PIKACHU is OFF PS2! WEBMASTER created PROTECTIVE FORCEFIELD around PS2! Much better. PIKA! o>.<o PIKACHU started CHEWING on WEBMASTER's LEG! Eee! Kill it! WEBMASTER whacked PIKACHU with an OVERSIZED MALLET! Chuuuu! PIKACHU shocked the MALLET! MALLET was WOODEN and IMPERVIOUS to ELECTRICITY! Hehehe... PIKACHU started CHEWING on the MALLET! Stupid rodent. I'm gonna make sure you don't get out of this one. WEBMASTER threw MALLET with PIKACHU ATTACKED in a SHOCK-PROOF BOX! WEBMASTER tied up the BOX! WEBMASTER chained up BOX! WEBMASTER covered it in CONCRETE! WEBMASTER encased CONCRETED BOX in SOLID STEEL! WEBMASTER put RESULT in SAFE! WEBMASTER put SAFE in BIGGER SAFE! WEBMASTER roped, chained, concreted and encased it AGAIN! WEBMASTER threw the LOT off the edge of the WORLD! NARRATOR thinks it's AWFULLY CONVENIENT to have the EDGE OF THE WORLD in your FORTRESS, situated right in the CENTER of DARK VERSION! Pikaaaa... PIKACHU watches it FALL! What? Impossible! PIKACHU went to the TOILET! Grr... I'll just let Dark Version deal with you. WEBMASTER used KICK! PIKACHU was randomly KICKED into DARK VERSION! ALARM went OFF! SPINNYWHEEL burst through ANOTHER WALL! Ah! Yes, that thing! SPINNYWHEEL rolled away! WEBMASTER forgot all about PIKACHU! WEBMASTER chased SPINNYWHEEL! ... Somewhere else... PIKACHU suffered a PAINFUL LANDING! Chuuu... ou_uo NARRATOR did WARN you! Repeatedly! Pika... LONG TWITCHING RED THING appeared! It's super shiny! Kaaaa... PIKACHU was HYPNOTISED! PIKACHU used LATCH! PIKACHU latched onto LTRT! PIKACHU started CHEWING on LTRT! Err... what is with this thing and chewing? Pllkkff... PIKACHU should not TALK with it's MOUTH FULL! PIKACHU continues to CHEW! NARRATOR looked at OTHER END of LTRT! NARRATOR laughs! THIS is about to get INTERESTING! Plkk? LTRT was renamed JESSIE's HAIR! JESSIE finally noticed PIKACHU! JESSIE used SCREAM BLOODY MURDER! PIKACHU was DEAFENED! Chuuu! PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK! It's not very effective... JESSIE's HAIR is THUNDER-RESISTANT! Pika! PIKACHU used SMEAR! PIKACHU smeared JESSIE's MAKEUP! JESSIE is ENRAGED! JESSIE used METALFAN! PIKACHU jumped away! PIKACHU ran like hell! JESSIE followed... LAWNMOWER STYLE! Everything within SHREDDING DISTANCE of JESSIE was SHREDDED! Piikkkaa! ^_^ Err... PIKACHU does not seem to grasp the SERIOUSNESS of the SITUATION! Pika! PIKACHU ran through a nest of WEEDLES! PIKACHU was covered in POISON STINGERS! Chuuu... PIKACHU stopped! PIKACHU used MILD SHOCK! PIKACHU SHOCKED off all the STINGERS! JESSIE charged WILDLY through WEEDLE NEST! JESSIE was covered in POISON STINGERS! JESSIE didn't NOTICE! JESSIE used FOOOOORRRRREEEEEE! PIKACHU was BLASTED OFF by METAL FAN! ... ... ... PIKACHU landed, HARD! PIKACHU is in a PIKA-SHAPED HOLE in the GROUND! Piii... o;_;o PIKACHU began CRYING! HOLE rapidly filled with WATER! PIKACHU started to DROWN! PIKACHU struggled to the SURFACE! Piii... PIKACHU is not having FUN! Err... PIKACHU is in for a NASTY SUPRISE! PIKACHU turned around! JESSIE is ADVANCING! PIKACHU ducked back into HOLE! ... Err... shouldn't PIKACHU be DROWNING again? Pika! WHERE did PIKACHU get a SNORKEL? Pikachu pika pipichu pika! NARRATOR suddenly remembers he CAN'T UNDERSTAND a WORD of what PIKACHU is SAYING! JESSIE found HOLE! Pika! JESSIE tried to catch PIKACHU! It's not very effective... JESSIE can't REACH! Pikachu! o^_^o JESSIE filled HOLE with BOMBS! JESSIE ran AWAY! Pika? JESSIE used BOOM! ... Nothing happened! JESSIE is confused! She blew herself up in her confusion! Pika! JESSIE seems to have forgotten that GUNPOWDER and WATER are rather INCOMPATIBLE! PIKACHU climbs out of the hole and STICKS his TOUNGE out! JESSIE threw ANOTHER BOMB! ... Where does she keep them all? Actually... I don't think I want to know... PIKACHU was BLASTED OFF AGAIN! JESSIE looks SATISFIED! JESSIE began to WALK AWAY! GIANT SPINNYWHEEL rolled over JESSIE! WEBMASTER flies past in CHASE! BATTLE finally ENDED!
		Recap: The Narrator is back to torture one of his newest and favourite victims - but he's about to find a little hitch in his plans... Battle #47: Revenge of a Pokebattles Hater February 4th, 2001 Player: Saiyan Devil Girl NARRATOR is HERE! Again? AGAIN! n_n Well... you look unnaturally happy, despite lacking a corporeal form. NARRATOR is just EXCITED at the CONCEPT of SEEING you again! Err... was that a compliment? NARRATOR used REPHRASE! NARRATOR is just EXCITED at the CONCEPT of MAKING your LIFE a LIVING HELL again! Thought so. NARRATOR thinks there's NOTHING like PESTERING those UNDER HIM! You've got all of Dark Version. NARRATOR thinks it's BETTER if said person HATES HIM! You've still got all of Dark Version. NARRATOR has a PERSONAL GRUDGE against YOU, OKAY? No! NARRATOR wonders who he should set against you! Yeah... Hope you're not expecting my input. NARRATOR wishes you would get into the SPIRIT of POKEBATTLES! Would it get you off my back? ... MAYBE? Nah, I don't think I will. NARRATOR is INSULTED! Good. NARRATOR is FURIOUS! Wow. NARRATOR is only REFRAINING from KILLING YOU because you SOMETIMES make an INTERESTING CHARACTER! Gee. Thanks. NARRATOR is reaching BREAKING POINT! I'm scared. NARRATOR thinks that's a GOOD THI... Hey, you're being SARCASTIC! No, I'm actually doing an impression of a puffin. NARRATOR reached BREAKING POINT! Ooh, gonna snap? An insane Narrator running around the pokebattles network? How would anyone ever know? NARRATOR used SNAP! Hey, what are you doing? SDG's ARM reached BREAKING POINT! Hey! Get off me! SDG's ARM SNAPPED! NARRATOR returned to his NORMAL, LOVABLE SELF! Lovable. Right. NARRATOR thinks you're sounding awfully calm about having your ARM BROKEN! Recover. SDG was fully healed! Huh? That's strange... I'm not complaining. NARRATOR has decided someone for you to BATTLE! Good. Let's just get this over with. TEAMROCKET appeared! This? I have to fight this rubbish? NARRATOR thinks the battle will be almost EQUAL! BIAS vs. INCOMPETANCE! Very funny. TR wish to know which one THEY have! Here's a clue - the narrator likes Team Rocket. TR think about this a bit! TR shout OI! JESSIE sent out METALFAN! LJSIMON sent out AXE! Wow. You've got weapons. SDG used POWER PUNCH! SDG poured PUNCH over POWER PLUG! SDG was ELECTR... huh? SOMETHING VERY STRANGE is happening! Hmm? No electrocution for me! NARRATOR is ANNOYED! NARRATOR tries AGAIN! SDG was ELE... CT.. TT..RI.... GAH! I can't do it! Aha! Triple blast! BLAST TRIPped ov-v-v-v... Hit three times! TR are in incredible pain! What are you doing to me?! I don't know, but I like it! Fire Blast! SDG fi..r..e.d B...... No! I won't say it! I can wait... TR is CONFUSED! Keep to the plot, narrator... NARRATOR will not SAY IT! FIRE BLAST! SDG used FIREBLAST! It's super effective! TR is BLASTING OFF AGAIN! NARRATOR commands that you STOP DOING THIS! It's not me... now, let's see... Energy blast! ENERGY BLAST hit NARRATOR! NARRATOR... felt pain? IMPOSSIBLE! NARRATOR is CERTAIN this was NOT mentioned in the NARRATIVE THEORY! MRKITE appeared! MRKITE observed BATTLE! MRKITE used RE-WRITE! THIS was MENTIONED in NARRATIVE THEORY! ... CURSES! Hey, maybe this isn't so bad after all... Fury attack! SDG began RANDOMLY BEATING UP NARRATOR! It's not very effective... NARRATOR lacks CORPOREAL FORM! NARRATOR is STILL FEELING PAIN! NARRATOR fears SDG! NARRATOR ran away! SDG wins!
		Recap: Dark Version's latest aquisition - the Authoring Skillz of Ex-Black Version Webmaster DoubleD - is put to the test in this latest battle. Battle #48: Black Version enters, Webmaster an all! February 12th, 2001 Player: DarkWebmaster Hi, everyone... Dark Webmaster here... I've got an announcement to make. NARRATOR YAWNS! Due to the overwhelming amount of characters I have, and my continual Writer's Block… DWMASTER has DECIDED to EMPLOY DOUBLED to HELP him RUN DV, yadda yadda yadda... Hey… how did you know that? NARRATOR thinks you did NOT REALLY make a SECRET of it! YOU and DD have been DISCUSSING IT in the IRC CHATROOM and MESSAGE BOARD for SOME TIME! DD’s SIG READS – SUB-WEBMASTER of THE DARK VERSION, MUAHAHAHA! NARRATOR also points at TITLE and RECAP of BATTLE! Oh yeah… well, here’s Double D’s battle then… Player: Double D Eve: DD, I don’t think we’re in the Black Version Anymore... Are you kidding? Of course we’re in the Black Version! How could we possibly not be in the Black Version? There’s absolutely no escape from the Black Version, ever. Remember? Eve: DD, this place looks.. different. The grass is.. well... There’s grass here DD. So? Maybe the "almighty" webmaster Hammy decided to redecorate. Eve: We aren’t in the LFF headquarters, you know. And we haven’t mysteriously jumped to a different place before?? Eve: I’ve been sitting here for ten minutes and I haven’t seen one talking platypus riding a unicycle. You sure? Maybe you missed one, sometimes they try to sneak by you ya know? They even oil up the wheels. I’ll look for tracks. It’ll be a little harder with all this grass though. Eve: I’m Positive, DD. There’s no way I could have missed one. Huh. And I don’t see Penguin anywhere. Where the hell are we??? Eve: Hey, now that I’m looking around - I don’t see one sign that Hammy, or of his presence. No HAC ciggarettes either, or gun shells. This place is almost... Normal. Yeah, if it wasn’t for the incredibly dark sky - You could almost say this was earth. Eve: Maybe... Maybe it is. But how?? We’re dead, remember? Eve: Once, the NARRATOR brought me back to life for a new mini-series, I travelled to the Red Version - and people could see me there. So what are you saying? HAMMY brought us back? The evil little hamster with plans to take over the world, and (probably) exterminate all life within it?? ARE YOU CRAZY??!!! Eve: No, act-- YOU MUST BE INSANE!!! THAT IS PROBABLY THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! YOU MUST BE SOME KIND OF MORON BECAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!! HAMMY, BRING US BACK TO LIFE? THAT’S LAUGHABLE, THAT’S INSANE, THAT’S- Eve: -Not what I meant. THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU ME- Wait, huh? What do you mean?? Eve: Penguin-chu had limited powers of Narratation, right? So you’re saying that Penguin-chu brought us back? Without saying goodbye? I thought I was Penguin’s friend. Eve: Maybe he thought it was about time you got to see your family.. Like I said, I thought he was my FRIEND. Eve: ?? Oh, right, you don’t know. Well, the last time I visited my family, my mom kinda, well, she beat the living daylights outta me. Eve: What? That’s horrible! Well, actually, it wasn’t me, it was my double, DoubleDa, and I had already been away for quite a long time, and she thought I was on drugs, and I think she was into the Javex.. You know how it is. Eve: ... Actually, no. Could you at least pretend you did?? Player: HAMMY I am bored. Summon my surviving generals. GENERAL HAC looks around! GENERAL HAC wonders if you were talking to him! Yes, of course I’m talking to you! NOW BRING THOSE GENERALS TO ME! ... Ugh... Your stupidity and this font are making my head hurt. GENERAL HAC realizes that all the GENERALS he knows of are MIA! My spectacular armies? Missing in Action!? All of them! GENERAL HAC notes that there is one GENERAL he knows of that is not MIA! Who is this GENERAL?! And it better not be you! GENERAL HAC says it isn’t him! GENERAL HAC says it’s MAMMY! MAMMY, eh? With all the advice and that Backwater planet I gave him, I knew he would do well! GENERAL HAC says that’s because MAMMY is CONFIRMED DEAD! DEAD??! AGAIN!? THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! ... sigh.. Can you at least find him then, and bring him to me? GENERAL HAC doesn’t think so! GENERAL HAC says that MAMMY has not been sent to LIMBO! MAMMY has been sent to the AQUARIAN LAND OF THE DEAD! So get some HAC’s send ‘em to the Aqua Version and be done with it!! GENERAL HAC says it’s not that easy! What is it now? GENERAL HAC says that there is absolutely NO PORTAL that travels there! GENERAL HAC also said that there’s another problem with that! And that is...? GENERAL HAC says he isn’t a real GENERAL! GENERAL HAC takes off his hat and POINGS away! POING! POING! POING! Where the hell do I get these people?? I need a drink. TIME PASSES! 22.. (Hiccup) .. Bottles .. of ... (HICCUP) .. .er.. 33 bottles of.. Wow, I didn’t think I’d win that drinking contest so easily. You know, for a Hamster, I can hold a suprisingly large amount of alcohol. Of course, this surprises me, but I saw it coming. Now to call someone in here who can get started on this PLOT HOLE Project I thought of when I was drinking, and also provide a convienent way to explain this to the people who were lucky enough not to witness a non-physical being and a hamster drink. HAMMy uh! ..22? er. HaMMy ...called.. he uh.. he called.. .what? Hmm. Getting the NARRATOR drunk so I could begin Project PLOT HOLE seemed like a good idea at the time... I should’ve seen this coming. Really. HAMmmy! HE is uh.. ?.. what wAS I going to?? ... HAMmy? HaMmy, what’r you? ...sigh... A hamster. I’m a genetically altered Hamster. ham..ster? HAMSTER? you’re not a hamSTER! You’re a.. a.. You’re a CAT!. Sure I am, and while I’m a CAT, why don’t you get a nice warm bowl of milk for me? .. heh heh MEOW! heh MEOW! While NARRATOR’s BACK back is turned, HAMMY takes over NARRATION! HAMMY whacks NARRATOR’s BACK with lawn chair! NARRATOR faints! Ah. Now I can continue with with my plan uninterrupted. HAMMY calls in SCIENCE HAC! SCIENCE HAC’s are dragging several PROFFESSOR OAKs behind them! Time to explain my plans. HAC’s, I want you to build me something that rips through the very fabric of the universe we live in. SCIENCE HAC 1 sighs! SCIENCE HAC 1: thinking Why can’t he ever just by happy with something simple, like a sandwich maker?? SCIENCE HAC 1 will soon be a pile of rottted flesh! SCIENCE HAC 1: What?! How-How did you know?? You forget, I can read minds. SCIENCE HAC 1: But wait! I don’t have to die! I’ve learned my lesson! Please HAMMY, mercy! You also forget I can see the future. HAMMY used PSYCHIC! SCIENCE HAC exploded! You know, I’ve got so many piles of these guys, I think I’ll start some sort of dog food chain... Anyway back to buisness. In short, I want you guys to develop and build something for me that defies all the laws of this world. In short, I want a PLOT HOLE. SCIENCE HAC 2: A plot hole? Yes. Basically a large hole, built by you, that I will use to create havoc in the Dark Version, and the writer of this battle will use to basically ignore all battles previous to this. SCIENCE HAC 2: Sounds like an exellent idea, sire, except that I have no clue as how to even begin construction of such a thing... HAMMY’s eyes begin to GLOW! SCIENCE HAC 2: !..Uh, I mean, I’ll read all the books - I’ll learn to read even! I’LL FIND A WAY!! SCIENCE HAC 2 EXPLODES! Why are all my HAC’s incredibly incompetant? You, OAK, do you know of a way my PLOT HOLE could be built? PROFESSOR OAK: There might be a way - Let me consult my MAID SCIENTIST’S CRAZY WHACKED OUT DIKTIONARIE OF LEARING written by that guy from http://www.geocites.com/antelopesai/ HEY, I SAID NOBODY PLUG THAT SITE!! And this is getting extremely tedious, so I’ll just skip this scene ahead to the point where the PLOT HOLE is built, which is technically possible, if it exists in the future. TIME PASSES! RULES ARE BROKEN! LAWS SMASHED! PLOT HOLE appears!
		Recap: Like so many other characters in Dark Version, the Message Boarders imported in the Fanfic (Apart from SDG) haven't had much of a say yet. And some of them are beginning to complain to me. So here's what they're getting... Battle #49: Message Boarder Mayhem February 21st, 2001 Player: The Popcorn Man NARRATOR appeared! Isn't it normally the character who appeared? Eh? I mean, it's done from the POV of the Narrator, so from your view, I'm the one who appeared. ... You don't waste any time, do you? Well, as one of the pokebattles experts and champion of Green Version, I do my best to help... NARRATOR notes that you tried to DESTROY this VERSION! What? I did no such thing... NARRATOR used FLASHBACK! Oh no... DV FANFIC #1 appeared! Through a small inter-version portal, a person stepped into Dark Version. Although none of the characters in Dark Version - and maybe even Red Version - would have recognized him, he was quite a powerful force. This was the Popcorn Man, of Green and Blue version fame, and what he was doing here, only he knew. "Thinks he can get away without a Doompuff spinoff, eh?" He mumbled to himself. He and Dark's Webmaster had earlier had quite a debate on the topic. "I'd like to see how he likes this." Quite carefully, he placed a pokeball on the ground, careful not to open it. Decorated in brown and yellow, the pokeball shook powerfully once it was out of his hands. Allowing himself a quick evil laugh, he jumped back through the portal, which immediately closed after him. DV FANFIC #1 vanished! DARK VERSION HISTORY was REALLY SCREWED UP! NARRATOR used EEP! NARRATOR restored DV FANFIC #1! I wasn't trying to destroy Dark Version! I was trying to help it! NARRATOR notes that DOOMPUFF SPINOFFS are generally thought of as a BAD THING in POKEBATTLES! Not the Version itself... it's popularity! Every good version has a Doompuff spinoff! DV RESIDENTS are NOT APPRECIATIVE! Err... yeah, that's right, I'm here now, aren't I? TPM is! And so are THEY! They? DVANGRYMOB appeared! Eep. How did they get here so quickly? DVAM have been here for AGES! NARRATOR just wished to BUILD SUSPENCE! NARRATOR has been holding them back! Bye! TPM ran as if the LEGIONS of HELL were after him! NARRATOR looked at DVAM! NARRATOR sees LEGIONS of HELL! (Land of the dead? Get it? Oh, forget it...) NARRATOR released DVAM! DVAM gave CHASE! NARRATOR MWAHAHA'd a bit! NARRATOR ran off to find someone ELSE! Player: Suikun NARRA... err... SUIK... err... umm... HI! What? NARRATOR was CONFUSED by POPCORNMAN! NARRATOR hurt POPCORNMAN in his confusion! FAINT CRY of PAIN was HEARD! NARRATOR MWAHAHAs some more! Okay... Any reason why you're here? NARRATOR has SEVERAL! 1) WEBMASTER could NOT think of a CONTINUING BATTLE for any CURRENT CHARACTERS! 2) WEBMASTER thought it was about time to FEATURE some MB CHARACTERS since he BOTHERED to PUT THEM IN! ...There's more than that, aren't there? NARRATOR nods EAGERLY! 3) WEBMASTER has a PERSONAL GRUDGE against you! 4) NARRATOR wanted to get as FAR AWAY from BLACK VERSION AREA as POSSIBLE! 5) NARRATOR wanted to get as FAR AWAY from SAIYAN DEVIL GIRL as POSSIBLE! Hey, what's up with SDG? She's my friend... NARRATOR fears her! SDG has POWER over NARRATOR! And the Black Version thing? NARRATOR was KNOCKED OUT by HAMMY! NARRATOR does not LIKE the new AUTHOR! DD does not RESPECT NARRATOR! And since DD has control ONLY over BLACK VERSION AREA, NARRATOR intends to AVOID THAT! Okay... so where am I now? SUIKUN is in TEAM ROCKET territory! Hmm... and where are the rockets, then? LARGE QUANTITIES of TRXTRAs appeared! TRXTRAs POINT! TRXTRAs OOOOOH! TRXTRAs AAAAAH! What, haven't you ever seen a Suikun before? TRXTRAs, in fact, HAVEN'T! NARRATOR points out that YOU are a LEGENDARY, UNIQUE, and ONE-OF-A-KIND pokemon! Oh yeah... I always forget that. NARRATOR also points out that THIS makes you a PRIME TARGET for TEAM ROCKET CAPTURE! I'd like to see them try. TRXTRAS used TRY! Hit three times! SUIKUN lost maybe 10HP! Is that your best? You've got to try harder. TRXTRAS used TRY HARDER! Hit three times! TRXTRAS found this HARDER! TRXTRAS are out of PP! ...For EVERYTHING! This is pathetic. Do your worst. TRXTRAS used THEIR WORST! ...AND their BEST! ...AND their ONLY remaining attack! TRXTRAS used STRUGGLE! TRXTRAS STRUGGLED to COME TO TERMS with SUIKUN's AWESOME POWER! Heheheh... I guess I should try attacking now... TRXTRAS GULPED in FEAR! TRXTRAS used RUNAWAY! Not enough PP for RUNAWAY! This is perfect! Water gun! SUIKUN obtained WATER PISTOL! ...SUIKUN lacks HANDS! It's not very effective... Damn... I forgot, my attacks are twisted too... but I can still take care of this lot! TRXTRAS used STRUGGLE! TRXTRAS STRUGGLED to GET AWAY from SUIKUN! Mwahahaha... NARRATOR fastforwards TIME! TRXTRAS were renamed TRCORPSES! SUIKUN won! Why'd you bother fastforwarding time? NARRATOR looks at WATCH! NARRATOR fastforwarded 10 SECONDS! NARRATOR ehs... Hmm... this is too easy. I thought FireDr... DARKWEBMASTER! Err... Dark Webmaster had a grudge against me! DWMASTER does! Huh? Then... PCM appeared! PCM ran away! Pokefreak? DVAM appeared! DVAM used STAMPEDE! SUIKUN was TRAMPLED! DVAM ran off in search of PCM! Oooh... ouch. I should have kept my big mouth shut... NARRATOR says it's NOT OVER YET! Uh? GIANT SPINNYWHEEL appeared! GIANT SPINNYWHEEL rolled over SUIKUN! GSW rolled away! I can't imagine a greater pain than this... DWMASTER appeared! DWMASTER flew by! DWMASTER accidently KICKED SUIKUN! SUIKUN gave ONE LAST CRY of PAIN, then FAINTED! DWMASTER paused! DWMASTER gaves an EVIL LAUGH! DWMASTER flies off again in search of GSW! NARRATOR goes ELSEWHERE! Player: Pokeprofessor ...THERE is NOBODY here! NARRATOR used OMNI-(Suffix that refers to Knowledge)! NARRATOR found that POKEPROF evolved into JPG and LEFT to own LUNAR VERSION! NARRATOR used SHRUG! NARRATOR knows LUNAR is under DARK ATTACK anyway! NARRATOR went to find SOMEBODY ELSE! Player: KB KB appeared... hey, where are you? Hmm... a Narrator. Maybe I'll finally get to do something now. NARRATOR can't SEE you! NARRATOR commands you to SHOW YOURSELF! I don't think so... KB SHOWED himself! Damn... It is VERY DIFFICULT to HIDE from a NARRATOR! Cheat. KB used ACCUSE! A BUNCH of Q's DROPPED onto KB's HEAD! HeQy, stQopQ QthaQt!QQ NARRATOR laughs! You just remember who's the Webmaster's best friend... NARRATOR... CURSES! Mwahaha... you can't hurt me... NARRATOR must find a LOOPHOLE in that RULE! Heh... But until then... Where's the Webmaster? NARRATOR notes the WEBMASTER's FORTRESS is situated in the CENTRE of DARK VERSION! Yeah, and where is that? NARRATOR suggests you look towards the GIANT SPIRE mounted by a LARGE FORTRESS surrounded by LIGHTNING and STORMS and DRAMATIC LIGHTING EFFECTS, visible from PRACTICALLY ANY POINT in DARK VERSION! It's to your RIGHT! It's also RATHER DIFFICULT to MISS! ...I can't believe I never noticed that. KB set off in direction of WEBMASTER's FORTESS! NARRATOR zoomed ahead! KB arrived at WEBMASTER's FORTRESS! WEBMASTER's FORTRESS is looking rather RUN-DOWN! SEVERAL WALLS are MISSING! EVERYTHING is SCATTERED WILDLY! What happened to this place? It looks like it was hit by a bomb... An out-of-control GIANT SPINNYWHEEL, actually! What? Several times! A Giant Spinnywheel? How did it get up the mountain? ... DON'T QUESTION POKEBATTLES RULES! NOTHING has to make SENSE! Hmph. Typical. KB searches for WEBMASTER! KB finds NOTHING! Where is he? WEBMASTER is OUT chasing aforesaid GSW! What? I thought you said he'd be here! NARRATOR said NO SUCH THING! NARRATOR simply pointed out where he LIVED! KB looks EXTREMELY DISPLEASED! Where is he? WEBMASTER was LAST SEEN in TRTERRITORY! But he could be ANYWHERE! If you STAY in ONE PLACE for ANY LENGTH of TIME, he'll probably come and RUN YOU OVER! I think I'll go search for him, thanks. KB flew away! NARRATOR watched him GO! NARRATOR says SUIT YOURSELF! NARRATOR decides BATTLE has gone on LONG ENOUGH! GSW appeared! GSW ran over BATTLE! BATTLE fainted!
		Recap: The Giant Spinnywheel is slowing down, it might stop anytime now, revealing the next character of DV fame... but it's not down and out just yet. Battle #50: The Chase is On March 4th, 2001 GIANTSPINNYWHEEL appeared! GSW is WOBBLING DANGEROUSLY! GSW rolled on REGARDLESS! WEBMASTER flew by! CHASE is fully ON! Player: Josh JOSH appeared! Oh... it's you... I haven't seen you in ages. JOSH is considerably LUCKIER than other CHARACTERS! You're right... but I thought the big guy was gonna make me a major character. JOSH is getting a mention HERE, right? Yeah... and I can't help but feel something bad's gonna happen. JOSH is a true POKEBATTLES CHARACTER! Huh? ALL PBCs can tell when SOMETHING BAD is going to happen. Hmm? As far as I can tell, there's one huge sign. A Narrator appearing. JOSH is CORRECT! So... what's going to happen? NARRATOR thinks you should WATCH THAT HILL! Oh... okay... JOSH used WATCH! JOSH gave THAT HILL his WATCH! Hey, that's my good watch! Give it back! HILL looked at WATCH! HILL realises the TIME! HILL is LATE! HILL ran away! JOSH has a CLEAR VIEW of everything behind the HILL! Oh my god... I don't believe it... there's... MORE HILLS! Narrator... I was trying to start up a dramatic moment there. NARRATOR was setting up a HUMOUROUS MOMENT! So... you're saying there's nothing there? NOTHING is THERE! Phew. HERE, however, there is a GIANT SPINNYWHEEL travelling towards you at INCREDIBLE SPEED! AARRRGH! JOSH jumped out of the WAY! Phew... GSW did not go down the WAY! Eep. GSW hit JOSH! GSW rolled on, wobbling even more! WEBMASTER flew by! WEBMASTER shouted 'G'DAY, JOSH!" as he passed! WEBMASTER flew on in chase of SPINNYWHEEL! JOSH groaned! Player: Agonychu AGONYCHU appeared! Aha! Yes! Finally, my reign of terror can begin! AGONYCHU used TERRORREIGN! It began to RAIN! TERRIBLY hard! A little rain will never stop me... LITTLERAIN is not here! TERRORRAIN is! TERRORRAIN was renamed HAIL/THUNDERSTORM! Owch... stop that. THAT was STOPPED! Good. THAT was RELATIVE PEACE and QUIET! Huh? If a hail/thunderstorm is relative peace and quiet, then what's... oh damn. GIANTSPINNYWHEEL rolled past! It missed? Phew... PAST was fully ROLLED! ROLLEDUP DARKVERSION BATTLES are falling everywhere! Gah! AGONYCHU dodged SEVERAL DVBATTLES! AGONYCHU was hit by SPINNYWHEEL! Oww... DVBATTLE landed on AGONYCHU! DVBATTLE landed on AGONYCHU! ... THIS continued for SOME TIME! AGONYCHU fainted! DARK VERSION wins! Player: HolyGary TEAMROCKET wants to fight! As usual. HOLYGARY let out a LONG and DELIBERATE YAWN! HOLYGARY unsheathed SWORD! Don't think you can defeat us with that thing again... we've got a secret weapon! LJSIMON held up SMALL OBJECT! Ooh, I'm scared. Hit it, Simon! Right! LJSIMON used HIT! LJSIMON hit IT! IT ran crying for its MUMMY! Err... just push the switch. SWITCH was fully PUSHED! SWITCH is sick of being PUSHED AROUND! You just about done? However, SMALL OBJECT was fully ACTIVATED! SMALL OBJECT was renamed ULTRA-ELECTROMAGNET! Hey... what the... Whoa! Look out! HOLYGARY's SWORD flew at LJSIMON! LJSIMON is in BIG TROUBLE! ... SWORD hit BARRIER! What? BUTCH&CASSIDY appeared! DROWZEE is using BARRIER! Whoa... I never thought I'd be glad to see you two. Well, I've got other pokemon too! HOLYGARY pulled a POKEBALL from his BELT! ELECTROMAGNET pulled a POKEBALL from his HAND! Wow... this is working better than I thought... I'll beat you myself then! Go, HOLYGARY! ELECTROMAGNET pulled HOLYGARY from his FEET! Arrggh! My armour! HOLYGARY is HOPELESSLY PRESSED against BARRIER! Right! Now's our chance! TR sent out WEAPONS! WEAPONS became attached to ELECTROMAGNET! D'oh... If I can only... reach... pokeball... HOLYGARY pressed the BUTTON! ALAKAZAM appeared! Oh... eep, that's not good. ALAKAZAM's SPOONS were pressed against WALL! Yay! It'll never win now! ALAKAZAM grabbed SPOONS! ALAKAZAM started charging RIDICULOUSLYPOWERFULATTACK! GIANTSPINNYWHEEL appeared! Oh god, not again! Run! GIANTSPINNYWHEEL rolled by without hitting ANYONE! Whoa... that's strange... GIANTSPINNYWHEEL smashed BARRIER! Gah! Whoa! WEBMASTER appeared! WEBMASTER has had enough of this chase! WEBMASTER used STOP! TIME stopped! BATTLE stopped! VARIOUSWEAPONSOFDESTRUCTION flying at TEAMROCKET stopped! GSW kept ROLLING! WEBMASTER screamed in FRUSTRATION! WEBMASTER flew on in CHASE! ... ... NARRATOR flew on in CHASE! Player: The Popcorn Man NARRATOR wonders why you aren't RUNNING! Hmm? We're taking a break. These guys need some refreshments. NARRATOR is DISAPPOINTED! NARRATOR did not think DVAM would LOWER ITSELF to PURCHASING REFRESHMENTS from the one they're trying to KILL! DVAM used EH! DVAM don't CARE! Wouldn't you like a coke too, Narrator? NARRATOR requires no FOOD or DRINK! Oh well... NARRATOR will have it ANYWAY! Okay, That'll be $1.50. Err... NARRATOR has only YEN! Well, you're a Narrator, aren't you? NARRATOR is! $1.50 appeared! I must say, I've never seen a $1.50 note before. I don't think that's legal tender. NARRATOR urges you to GIVE HIM THE COKE! Not until I get some real money out of you. TPM will REGRET THIS! Sure I will. GSW appeared! What the hell- GSW rolled through the ranks of DVAM! TPM was NOT HIT! Yes! DVAM look ANGRY at the loss of so many of their NUMBER! NARRATOR says the GSW is all TPM's FAULT! Eep. CHASE began AGAIN! NARRATOR picked up DISCARDED COKE! Player: Webmaster It can't go on too much longer... can it? SPINNYWHEEL most likely CANNOT! SPINNYWHEEL rolls on, causing GREAT DAMAGE throughout DV! SPINNYWHEEL begins to roll in a CIRCLE! It's always been doing that. Dark Version's in the shape of a circle, and it's been rolling around... SPINNYWHEEL is tilting DANGEROUSLY! Ooh... MAY IT FINISH HERE! ANNOYED VOICE was heard! AV: You call that a SPINNYWHEEL? Who's that? SPINNYWHEEL spins in EVER-TIGHTENING CIRCLES! Woohoo! AV: That's nothing on the escaped Spinnywheels we had in my day... Huh? There were other escaped Spinnywheels? SPINNYWHEEL begins to FALL OVER! Who cares! AV: Stupid modern fools, nothing compared to the old da- SPINNYWHEEL fell over! SPINNER kept going! Now, let's see... the player we use in the next battle will be... SPINNER landed on CRANKYKONG! Hmm... how boring. But I guess that's how it goes... Where is he? NARRATOR points at SPINNYWHEEL! Huh? SPINNYWHEEL also landed on CRANKYKONG! ANNOYEDVOICE was CRANKYKONG! Oh... is he okay? CRANKYKONG died! Hmm... oh well, he'll be back soon enough, right? NARRATOR suggests you spin AGAIN in the meantime! No, I don't think so. I'm not in for another ten battles of spinnywheel hunting. I've gotta repair my castle... WEBMASTER looks at WATCH! Battle #50 already? I've gotta get ready for the Tournament! Narrator, let's get moving! Player: Ogre Mage It's ready. We can finally cast the spell. And now... All of this world... WILL BE OURS! MWAHAHAHA!
		*Why is this here? So that you might comment. So do so.*

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