Purple Version Battles: #6-#10   #11-#15   #16-#20   #21-#25   Tournament #3 #31-#35 #36-#40  #41-#45 #46-#50 #51-#55 #56-#60
Recap: The Doompuff raid moves on as many try to survive. Some like Emperor Cow are not as lucky.Just about now, it's every superhero, Sailor Scouts and bumbling idiot for themselves!
Color Key:
Dialogue / Text

Battle #36: Superheroes and Sailor Scouts (November 5, 2000)
Location: Emperor Cow’s Mansion
Player: Emperor Cow [Record: 2-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Cool Dude (Battle #28)


Emperor Cow is peacefully sleeping!
Hmmm…*snort*, please…no more autographs…
Emperor Cow is mumbling in his sleep!
A sharp rasping is at the door!
Unidentified Sound: BLOOOOD!!!!!
YEEEEE!
Emperor Cow screamed like a little girl!
Doompuff crashed into the mansion and jumped on Emperor Cow’s bed!
What the hell are you?
Doompuff starts to chew on Emperor Cow’s face!
AAAAAH!!! Must call reinforcements!
Emperor Cow struggles to grab phone!
Doompuff is still chewing!
Emperor Cow tries to dial 911!
Dial successful!
Emperor Cow was completely devoured!
Shadowstar crashed in!

Player: Shadowstar [Record: 2-1-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Mr. Burns (Battle #29)

Hello? 911 were dialed here so the people sent me!
Shadowstar notices Doompuff sitting next to Emperor Cow’s disembodied udder!
Holy fahitta! Emperor Cow was murdered! This looks like a job for…
Sailor Scouts jump in crushing Shadowstar!
…me…
Sailor Scouts: Where’s the trouble? What can we do?
Well, for starters you can get off me!!!!
Sailor Scouts step away!
Shadowstar gets up!
Why are you here?
Sailor Mercury: Well, we have our ways…
I hate conspiracies like that…
Hey, can’t you see I have this thing under control?

Sailor Moon: Then why was that cow murdered?
He was murdered when I got here!
Sailor Mars: Oh, sure…
Shadowstar’s face is turning red!
Sailor Jupiter: And what an unoriginal outfit!
Why you LITTLE!
Shadowstar is strangling Sailor Jupiter!
Scouts pull Shadowstar away from Sailor Jupiter!
That’s the last straw! You wanna fight or what?
Scouts: Wait! We must do our cheesy introduction!
Alright…carry on…
Sailor Jupiter! With the power of lightning!
That’s nice…
Sailor Mars! With the power of fire!
Yeah…I got the idea…
Sailor Venus! With the power of love!
OK, I got the idea…
Sailor Mercury! With the power of water!
I’ve got it! Shut up!
Sailor Moon! With powers from the moon!
OK, that made no sense at all…
Sailor Mini-Moon! With the power of-
SHUT UP! CAN WE JUST BATTLE ALREADY!
Though I would have liked to know how that sentence ended up.
Sailor Moon: And in the name of the moon, I shall punish you!
Sigh...
Shadowstar wants to fight!
Sailor Scouts want to fight!
Sailor Scouts sent out themselves!
Shadowstar sent out himself!
Sailor Venus used Venus Love Chain Encircle!
URRGH!!!
Shadowstar is being filled with love!
TOO MUCH LOVE!
Chain broke!
Shadowstar used Laser Beam!
Sailor Venus was paralyzed!
Doompuff is bored!
Doompuff jumped at and ate Sailor Mars!
Ooooh… that was not good…
Hey Scouts, what say we quit the battle and fight this thing before all of us get devoured?
Sailor Scouts are thinking about it!
Sailor Scouts agree!
Hey, that doesn’t mean I like you!
Sailor Scouts know!!!
Sailor Mercury used Shine Aqua Illusion!
Sailor Jupiter used Jupiter Thunder Crash!
Sailor Mini Moon used Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
Sailor Moon used Moon Tiara Magic!
Sailor Venus used Venus Meteor Shower!
Shadowstar used Psych-Smash!
Doompuff lost 1HP out of his 99999999999999999HP!
HOLY CRAP!!!
Sailor Mini-Moon used Crystal Twinkle Bell!
Pegasus appeared!
So, we’re in the SuperS series, eh?
Doompuff is annoyed by the glow!
Doompuff ate Pegasus!
Ooooh…that’s unfortunate!
Angelic music that was playing is still playing!
Doompuff found the record player playing the music!
Doompuff ate the record player!
Doompuff used Eat!
Sailor Jupiter, Venus, Mercury and Mini-Moon were eaten!
Sheesh! Abandon ship!
Shadowstar and Sailor Moon ran away!
Well, Sailor Moon ran crying like a baby. Shadowstar just flew away!
Doompuff spit out Mini-Moon’s tiara!

Battle #37: The Fight for Freedom (November 7, 2000)
Location: Doompuff’s Stomach, Emperor Cow’s Mansion
Player: Guy (Record: 1-4-2) Last Battle: Loss vs. Doompuff (Battle #34)


I can’t believe it!
Why am I always the one who gets eaten?

Narrator says this is the first time you’ve been eaten!
Well, no one else did!
Emperor Cow used Resent!
Emperor Cow resents that!
Wha…you’re here? Anyone else?
Sailor Scouts say yo!
AAAAH!!! What are you doing here?
Sailor Scouts are here because they got eaten! What did you think, you mindless jerkiod!
Man, the narrator gets more aggressive every battle!
Hours later…
Sailor Scouts are playing cards!
Sailor Mars: Got any threes?
Sailor Jupiter: Go fish.
Don’t you think we should be plotting our escape!
Sailor Scouts are too lazy to plot!
Well, you’ll never see Sailor Moon again!
Sailor Scouts scope to find a way out!
Girls…you just can’t predict them…
Narrator is a GIRL!
No you’re not! You’re just a voice!
Narrator says that you have a point!
Yeah, and I’m right aren’t I?
Um…
Emperor Cow blinked!
Buying time eh?
Emperor Cow needs to be milked!
Narrator, I’m NOT buying it.
Emperor Cow needs to be milked!!
Not budging.
Emperor Cow is going to explode!
Eh?
Emperor Cow exploded!
Doompuff died!
Emperor Cow! You saved us and you killed the most vicious thing in PokeBattles!
Emperor Cow is dead!
Oh…hehe…
Doompuff is still alive!
Doompuff wants to fight!
We are in deep doodoo…
Unidentified Familiar Voice: Stop right there!
What? Shadowy Figures are evolving!
Shadowy Figures evolved into Sailor Moon and Shadowstar!
Sailor Moon used Boring Intro Speech!
It’s totally boring!
Shadowstar cuts to the chase and starts to demolish Doompuff!
It’s super effective!
Shadowstar sure has confidence!
Shadowstar: Dang right I do!
Yeah…I knew that…
Sailor Moon is enriched with envy!
Sailor Moon wants to fight!
Doompuff wants to fight!
Sailor Scouts want to fight!
Shadowstar wants to fight!
Emperor Cow is still dead!
STOP!!!
Shadowstar and Sailor Scouts and Doompuff: WHAT???
Today is Election Day! Shouldn’t we be out there voting for our fellow man!
Shadowstar and Sailor Scouts and Doompuff never thought of that!
Yeah, I thought so.
Bush and Gore appeared!
Gore will kill every one of you if you don’t vote for him!
Bush will kill every one of you if you don’t vote for him!
Chaney and Liberman will kill you if you don’t vote for their candidates!
Isn’t this a Red Version calamity?
Havoc wrecks out everywhere!
Hey, who won this battle?
Narrator said he did for creating this havoc!
Narrator zapped Guy to bits!
Guy fainted!
Narrator wins!

Battle #38: Chan in Japan (November 8, 2000)
Location: Japan, of course!
Player: Freakboy: [Record: 2-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Samurai of Death (Battle #35)

Great, I’m stuck in Japan! How’d I get here anyway?
You flew here and you can fly ba-
I didn’t ask you! I’m trying to figure out how I can get out of here!
Man, look at this Japanese restaurant!

It’s in English and it’s a McDonalds!
Oh, I knew that!
Narrator rolls his eyes!
Narrators eyes pop out of his head and land on Freakboy’s head!
McDonald’s clerk screams and runs out like a little girl!
All other people ran away!
Eh? Where’s everyone going?
People ran to Burger King to find a more sanitary environment!
Burger King clerk is happy!
Narrator grabs eyes behind Freakboy’s back!
Hmm…as well as I’m here, I might as well get some sushi. This is Japan, ya know.
Freakboy used Order!
Freakboy ordered some sushi!
McDonalds cashier: You must have some sort of mistake! This is McDonalds kid!
Oh, yeah! Well feel my wrath!
Freakboy ripped off clothes!
Teletubby underwear is revealed!
NOOOO!! My ninja costume is at the cleaners!
Cleaners Lady appeared!
Cleaners Lady: Here’s your costume, guy!
Thanks!
Cleaners Lady: Now pay up!
JUDO KICK!
Cleaners Lady was judo kicked into the sky!
McDonalds clerk takes off mask!
McDonalds clerk is really Jackie Chan!
WHA!!!!???
Jackie Chan: You wanna know kung-fu? You learn from masta? You wanno fight?
Narrator! That’s not what Jackie Chan sounds like!
Jackie Chan: It is all from my childhood!
Uh-oh…I feel a flashback coming!
JC: I’m telling the truth!
It’s coming…
Jackie Chan used Flashback!
NOOOOO!!!
Freakboy watches in boredom as Jackie Chan’s life flies by!
Freakboy is asleep after 15 decades of watching!
Credits roll!
Jackie Chan reaches out to steal Freakboy’s rolex!
Freakboy wakes up and smashes Jackie!
DON’T TOUCH THE ROLEX!
Jackie Chan wants to fight!
Jackie Chan sent out Jackie Chan!
Freakboy sent out Goose!
Goose, attack!
Goose used Stop, Honk and Run!
Goose honked!
Goose ran!
Don’t come back you worthless bird!
Freakboy sent out Giant Robot Thingie!
Jackie Chan is repeatedly kicking Robot!
Robot kicked JC and he went flying back into the McFlurry machine!
Hmmm, I’ve got an idea!
Freakboy turned McFlurry machine on!
What? Jackie Chan is de-evolving!
Jackie Chan de-evolved into McJackie Shake!
Mmmmm…tasteriffic!
Freakboy drank McJackie Shake!
McJackie Shake evolved into Jackie Chan in Freakboy’s stomach!
EEEERRRP…..can’t breathe….
Freakboy barfed out Jackie Chan!
Jackie Chan flew into Robot and Robot exploded!
OOOOH!!!!
Freakboy sent out Straight Jacket!
Jackie Chan used Cowcow yommieyommie!
I wonder what the Pokedex has to say about that attack…
Dexter: Cowcow Yommieyommie!
Errr! Is that all?
Dexter: Yommieyommieyommie…
STOP IT!!!
Dexter: Cowcow yommie cow yommieyommieyommie cowcowcow!
FOOOOSH!
Batteries to Pokedex exploded!
Battery Acid got into Jackie Chan’s eyes!
JC: AAAAAAAAAGGGGGH!!!! It burns!!!
Jackie Chan fell into a golf cart while blinded and pushed on the gas!
Look out! Runaway golf cart!
Golf Cart hit the Japanese Teacher’s car!
Japanese Teacher’s Car accidentally hits a ramp and falls into the nuclear power plant and it exploded!
All Children: YAYYYYY!!!
Golf Cart and JC hit an oil tanker!
Eeep…
BAAAALOOOOSH!!!
Jackie Chan fainted!
Dexter wins!
WHY!!!???
Dexter was the one with the battery acid in the first place!
Oh yeah? Well, take this!!!
Freakboy stomped and broke Pokedex!
Freakboy wins!
Professor Oak appeared!
Professor Oak: Why do all of these people destroy my beautiful work!?!?!?!
Buzz off cretin!
Being called a cretin flabbergasts Professor Oak!
FLABBERGASTED?!?!?!?!
Professor Oak wants to fight!
Sigh…

Battle #39: Available at the Black Rocket (November 9, 2000)
Location: The Black PokeMarket
Player: Bob the Cameraman [Record: 9-11-2] Last Battle: Draw vs. Emperor Cow (Tournament #3)
Warning: The tenth line may be too vulgar for little kids to read. I’m not going to rate this PG-13 for one line so if you’re under ten or don’t think you can handle it, skip that line.


Hmmm…I’ve heard about this black market…
They sell evil items that can make you a really cheap competitor in battles…
COOL!!!

Bob goes up to a cart!
Old Weirdo Lady asks you if you need any help!
Bob picks up colorful rock!
Hey, what’s this?
Old Weirdo Lady used Slap!
Old Weirdo Lady smacks the stone out of Bob’s hands!
Whoa…are your bowels acting up or something?
Old Weirdo Lady: You fool! This is an evolution stone that is made from material from Aqua Version! It is called The Mega-Ass Stone!
Yeah…so what does it do?
Old Weirdo Lady: It can automatically change your Pokemon into a giant robotic destruction machine!
SWEEEET!!! I’ll take one!
Old Weirdo Lady says that will be ¥2500!
Oh man! Not that yen stuff again! I only carry US dollars!
Hey, look, I’ve got an idea!

Bob used Charge It!
Bob charged the stone on his Visa credit card!
Sheesh…why doesn’t anyone else just use their credit card instead of putting up a fight?
Old Weirdo Lady: That is the only stone available in the Purpliod Universe. Beware, for thieves may try to steal it!
Yak yak yak yak yak! What’s it to ya?
Team Rocket appeared!
What do you bumbling idiots want!?
Team Rocket says to stop!
What?
They must do the motto first!
NOOOOO!!! Not that!!!
Jessie: Prepare for trouble!
Silence provoked!
James is busy napping!
Jessie pulled out a mallet from the middle of nowhere and slammed James really hard!
James: OWWWW! What did I do?
Jessie: You’re messing up our motto!
Meowth says to forget about the motto!
Jessie bopped Meowth for his ignorance!
Look, what do you jerks what anyways?
Team Rocket has come for the stone!
Well, too bad, it’s mine, you fat heads!
Bob stuck out his tongue!
Jessie: What did you just call me?
Jessie breathed out fire like from that one episode!
Team Rocket wants to fight!
Alrighty then. Pikachu, GO!
Pikachu is nowhere to be seen!
Dang! I forgot he went on the PokeCruise for Pokemon! Oh well, go random Pokemon!
Go, Ivysaur!
Jessie sent out Arbok!
James sent out Weezing!
Meowth wants to sleep…and he does!
Pathetic…
Anyway, let’s see what this Big-Ass stone can do!

Bob used Big-Ass Stone on Ivysaur!
What? Ivysaur is temporarily evolving!
Temporarily!
Narrator says if you weren’t too busy day-dreaming about getting five more badges to enter the Pokemon League, you would have heard the old lady saying if you discard your Pokemon or it faints, it will turn back to normal!
Wow, long summary!
Ivysaur evolved into Mega Deathbot with Armory and Weaponry All Over His Armored Body!
HOLY CRAP!!!
Arbok and Weezing are completely terrified!
Jessie is stupefied!
James is stunned!
Meowth fainted!
Woah, um…Ivysaur, attack somehow…
Ivysaur used Flaming Missiles of Sudden Death!
Arbok and Weezing blew up into a million pieces!
Sweet! This stone rocks!
Jessie and James sent out Lickitung and Victreebel!
Lickitung used Lick!
Lickitung licked Ivysaur’s armor!
Lickitung doesn’t like the taste of metal!
Victreebel is loafing around!
Victreebel ate James!
Woah…tough break!
Ivysaur used Flames of Damnation!
Lickitung and Victreebel died a horrible and ever so painful death!
Yeah! All hail the King of Purpliod Universe!
All Mighty Webmaster used I’m Greater than You!
Bob was shocked about fifteen times!
I didn’t mean it literally!
Butch and Cassidy appeared!
All four Team Rocket members used Huddle!
Team Rocket had a Rocket Huddle!
Rocket Huddle…that’s a new one!
Pikachu appeared!
Yeah! Pikachu, you came back!
Pikachu: Pika pika!
Butch and Cassidy used Arrowhead!
Arrowhead bounced off of all the carts and sliced the lock off Bob’s backpack!
NOOOOOOOO!!! My Pokeballs!
Jessie, James, Meowth, Butch, Cassidy and Raticate scatter in a frenzy to collect the stolen Pokeballs!
This is completely cheap!
Pikachu! Grab as many balls as you can!

Pikachu and Bob try to collect all the balls as they run!
Team Rocket laugh maniacally as they send stolen balls to Giovanni!
NOOOOOOOOOT FAAAAAAAIIIIIIR!!!!
I still have the Big-Ass Stone, Ivysaur attack!
Ivysaur used Giant Flaming Nuclear Tipped Mine Dislogger!
Team Rocket was blasted off!
DAMN!!! My Pokemon!
Pikachu hands Bob seven balls!
Thanks. Well, I have ten balls so I have seventeen…eighteen including you…
Team Rocket! If I ever come upon you again, your asses will be mine!


Battle #40: Evil War Atrocities Inc. (November 10, 2000)
Location: Saffron City’s Evil War Atrocities Inc. Business Building
Player: Frank Williams [No Record]


Evil War Atrocities Meeting has now begun!
All rise!
Members used Rise!
Members rose!
Haha, made ya rise!
EWA President: Um, Frank…could you try to be a bit more serious?
Yes sir…
EWA Pres.: Well crew, we’ve faced many word threats before even the Wife of the Talking Torso of the Apocalypse…
Hey! We never fought that! That was a movie! And it was a good one too!
EWA Pres.: Yes we did…Anyway, now we face our largest threat of all!
EWA Pres. showed photograph!
SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY!!!!
Frank is climbing the walls in fear!
How I’m doing this…I don’t know…
EWA Pres.: Relax Williams, it’s just a picture!
But…it’s scary!
EWA Pres.: I know it is. Now sit down and we’ll continue.
All right!
EWA Pres.: Now this creature is called the Rabid Jigglypuff of Doom. Nothing like an ordinary Jigglypuff, for this creature has come from the universe that is all but holy…Aqua Version!
Um…we’re not exactly any holier than they are!
EWA Pres.: Don’t interrupt me Williams! As his name states, he is quite rabid and can basically kill anything it sees. It has said to be that he has withstanding a wave of missiles that can destroy an entire continent and not even a dent put into him!
Man, that thing must be strong…what if he can break into this building?
EWA Pres.: Don’t be ridiculous! These walls are made of solid steel and four layers of concrete!
Doompuff crashed in!
Does that answer your question?!?!?
Doompuff used JigglyDeath!
All members are completely paralyzed!
EWA President held up every religious thing he owns!
Doompuff ate those things including the President’s hand!
Sheesh! That thing’s scary!
Doompuff used Complete Mortal Destruction!
President exploded and only his legs remained!
Hey, you killed the president!
Have you no decency!

Doompuff doesn’t know what decency is!
Oh…yeah…
Frank is thinking…
WOO-HOO!! Now I don’t have to go to work anymore!
Doompuff wants to know who his next victim will be!
Not me! I taste like crap!
All other EWA members used Missile Launcher!
All seventeen members minus Frank blasted enough shots to destroy the entire universe!
Doompuff is impressed…
Is it hurt?
…but it’s not hurt! Not even a teensy bit!
Doompuff is laughing evilly as he eats Frank’s friend, Will!
No! I must save my friend!
Doompuff decides you will be his next snack!
I’m outta here!
Frank crashed out window!
Thankfully, I always have a parachute handy!
Frank pulled cord!
Parachute opened!
Ha! I escaped Doompuff!
Doompuff can’t jump that far down!
Doompuff used Fang Pop!
One of Doompuff’s fangs flew out like a boomerang, popped Frank’s parachute and returned to Doompuff’s mouth!
Ok, I’m dead!
Frank fell down at an alarming speed!
From fifty stories upward
!
> > Main Site
> >
E-mail Webmaster
nav
Jobsonline.com
nav
[Close]
nav
[Close]
1