Location: Viridian City Gym
Player: James from Team Rocket [Record: 0-1-2] Last Battle: Draw (with rest of TR) vs. Bob (Battle #39)
Jessie and James enter arena!
Giovanni: Well, what do you have for me?
Are you kidding? We have at least one hundred Pokeballs here!
Giovanni is paralyzed!
Jessie: Now look what you did!
Well, at least he’s paralyzed by amazement!
Jessie says to get some water to splash on his face to regain consciousness!
All right!
James headed to vending machine!
Vending Machine is out of water!
CRUD!!! What do you have?
Vending Machine has Brisk Ice Tea!
Not another Brisk Ice Tea reference! Well, I’ll take it…
James splashed Giovanni with Brisk Ice Tea!
Giovanni regained consciousness and drank some of the beverage!
Giovanni says that’s brisk, baby!
I hate these Brisk Ice Tea gags!
Giovanni says to get off of him!
OK…
Giovanni: What did you say you had for me?
Well, we have at least 100 Pokemon here!
Giovanni is paralyzed!
Ugh…
Hours later…
Giovanni checks all the Pokemon!
Giovanni: Oddish…Parasect…Onix…Clefairy…
Um…aren’t you going to thank us?
Giovanni thanked Butch and Cassidy!
NOOOOOO!!!
Jessie curses about the two under her breath!
Why did you thank those creeps?
Giovanni says they threw the arrowhead and ripped open Bob’s backpack in the first place!
How did you know?
Butch and Cassidy sent Giovanni an E-mail!
D’oh! Stupid Internet!
Rapid knocking is heard behind the door!
Go away! We’re closed!
Doompuff crashes into the door!
AAAAAAAGGGGGGH!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!
Jessie says she wants to catch it!
Um…do you think that’s such a good idea?
JESSIE SAYS YES!!!
Whoa…don’t blow off too much steam, Narrator.
Um…boss, should we fight this thing?
GIOVANNI SAYS YES!!!
Sheesh…I know this won’t end well…
Doompuff wants to fight!
Doompuff sent out Doompuff!
Jessie sent out Lickitung!
James sent out Weezing!
Meowth is loafing around!
Giovanni sent out Persian!
Doompuff used Rabid Blood-Suck!
Giovanni was blood sucked!
What?
Giovanni transformed into Rabid Giovanni of Doom!
AAAAAAAAH!!! What the hell has that thing done to you?
DoomGiovanni teamed up with Doompuff!
Not fair!
Narrator says it wasn’t fair when you stole all of Bob’s Pokemon!
Well, it’s only fair when I do it!
Doompuff used Giant Flaming Walls from Hell!
Lickitung and Weezing were brought to hell!
I don’t care…they always come back!
Whole gym exploded but everyone still survives but are really hurt except for the two Dooms!
Hurts!
Doompuff used Pokeball!
Wha…uh-oh…
James was caught!
AAAAAH!!! Let me out! Jessie, help!
Pokeball has sound barriers!
It doesn’t matter…Jessie and Meowth will save me anyways because they are extremely loyal!
Jessie and Meowth ran away!
TRAITORS!
DoomGiovanni is no longer rabid!
DoomGiovanni turned back into Giovanni!
Giovanni ran away!
NOOOO! I’m so lonely…
Would you like to give a nickname to James?
YOU WOULDN’T DARE….
James was renamed Wimpy Powderpuff Person!
I think I’ll just curl up and die now…
Battle #42: Rainbow Badge Ramble (November 10, 2000)
Location: Celadon City Gym
Player: Bob the Cameraman [Record: 9-11-3] Last Battle: Draw vs. Team Rocket (Battle #39)
Those dirty thieves! Team Rocket jumped me and stole all my Pokeballs!
And I don’t even know which ones I have left!
Pikachu says to get over it!
Hey, don’t sass me!
Pikachu says to stop whining and look around for Celadon Gym!
Man, you’re getting a bit more sarcastic lately…
Pikachu: Pikapichu pikachu! (Translation: Damn straight!)
Yeah…also I’ve got to watch out for that Doompuff that I released…
Everyone glares at Bob!
What?
Severely injured Guy hands Bob a newspaper…
Eh? What’s this?
Purpliod Shopper: ‘Doompuff Rage Continues: Millions and millions of honest citizens die’
Oh…aheh heh…
Narrator decides to save this carnage for another battle!
All other characters left!
Celadon Gym is located!
Sheesh…I haven’t been scavenging for badges in a while…
Erika appeared!
Hey Erika…wait a minute…you’re cute!
Purple rips off Aqua yet again as Pikachu fell over anime style!
Erika: Get away from me, you sicko!
Pikachu smacks Bob!
Oh yeah, well I want a badge!
Erika wants to fight!
Bob wants to fight!
Go Pokemon!
Go, Kadabra!
Well, one of these retrieved Pokemon is good and not too shabby…
Erika sent out Tangela!
Yeah, I can just use my new Mega-Ass Stone!
Bob used Mega-Ass Stone!
What? Kadabra is evolving!
Kadabra evolved into Giant Transmorgrafier Dinobot!
Erika: What the hell? Is that illegal?
Um…I don’t know…
Erika: I’ll be right back.
Erika looks through Pokemon Battle Rules book which is ten thousand pages long!
One hour later…
Erika: OK, story checks out. It’s fair, we may resume…
Kadabra used Blazing Lightning Thundershock of Doom that can give you a Big Ouchie Boo-Boo!
Crud, these names are long!
Tangela is barely standing!
Tangela used Vine Whip!
Kadabra is hurt!
What? He’s a giant robot-thingie!
Pikachu says that he may be strong but still has the HP of a regular Kadabra!
Oh, I get it!
For some reason, Kadabra grew wheels and drove around!
Oh gracious, he’s heading toward Tangela!
Tangela is screaming bloody murder!
LOOK OUT!!!
SPLAT!!!!!!
Tangela was completely severely squished!
Ewwww! Nasty…
Website Viewers are ever so lucky that they don’t get to see this carnage!
Five are mad that they don’t get to see it!
Sickos…
Kadabra went into reverse and splatted Tangela blood and guts all over Bob, Pikachu and Erika!
Erika is completely disgusted!
Erika starts to beat Kadabra endlessly!
Woah…take it easy. Not even I know what that thing can do!
Erika sat in driver’s seat!
Erika is driving Kadabra toward Bob and Pikachu trying to squish them!
Run Pikachu! Erika has finally flipped!
Erika: Now let’s see how YOU like it to be squished!
Kadabra, do something!
Kadabra is going to do something!
Kadabra used Eject!
While Erika was sitting in the driver’s seat, she was catapulted out of the arena!
Phew…thanks Kadabra!
Kadabra, return!
Rainbow Badge fluttered down from sky!
Cool! My fourth badge! Well, we’d better split before this turns into a bigger lawsuit than it already is…
Pikachu agrees!
Bob and Pikachu run away!
Doompuff looks from afar!
Doompuff: Doomdoompuff…hahaha…
Battle #43: The Unfortunate Survivor (November 10, 2000)
Location: Outside the Evil War Atrocities Inc. Building with the fiftieth floor blew up
Player: Cool Dude [Record: 3-4-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Professor Oak (Battle #33)
Emperor Cow is a vile dirty snob!
Where is he? I’ll pound him!
Emperor Cow died!
He did?
Ugh…my rage of war is over…
Someone appeared?
Who is it?
Cool Dude runs over the severely injured person!
That person is Frank Williams!
Whoa! You look completely raped! What happened?
Frank: The Doompuff came in and destroyed everyone…I’m only survivor…
Frank regains his memory and speech!
Man, you’ve been through a lot…it’d be a shame to fight you…
But I have no decency!
Cool Dude wants to fight!
Frank doesn’t!
Narrator used Really Dangerous Threat to Frank that Cool Dude Cannot Hear!
What? What is it?
Frank wants to fight!
Ha! Great that you can come around!
Cool Dude sent out Jigglypuff!
Frank sent out Frank!
Sending out yourself, eh? Bad move…
Frank says he doesn’t have any Pokemon!
Ha! And you call yourself a Pokemon trainer!
Frank doesn’t!
Oh.
Jigglypuff, use your cuteness!
Jigglypuff used Cuteness!
Jigglypuff is CYYYYYYYYUUUUUUTE!!!!!! CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE!!!!!!!
Man, it’s cute…
WE KNOW!!!
Frank is stupefied by the cuteness!
Right…anyway, Jigglypuff be scary!
Jigglypuff used Roar!
Frank is scared!
Frank ran away!
Yeah, I thought you would think that!
Frank says to look behind you!
Cool Dude turned around!
Doompuff is behind Cool Dude!
OH DEAR GOD!!! It looks like a Flaming Ball from Hell!
Frank confirms that question with a yes and says that that is Doompuff while he is a hundred yards away and still running!
Man! This thing can’t be that much of a nuisance! Jigglypuff, get’m!
Jigglypuff is also running away with Frank!
Uh-oh…
Doompuff used Eat!
Doompuff ate Cool Dude!
Doompuff uses his belt to pick his teeth!
Pokeballs fall off of belt!
Doompuff eats Pokeballs!
Battle #44: Frank’s First Stand (November 10, 2000)
Location: A Field in Route 7
Player: Frank [Record: 0-1-2] Last Battle: Draw vs. Cool Dude and Doompuff (Battle #43)
Phew…that was extremely close…
Jigglypuff: Puff…
Hey, you’re pretty cute and you’ve got a lot of gusto!
Jigglypuff: Puff!
Who are you anyway?
Jigglypuff fell over anime style!
You must be a Pokemon, is that right?
Jigglypuff nods!
How would you like to join me?
Jigglypuff joined Frank!
Cool, I finally have a Pokemon!
Player: Bob the Cameraman [Record: 10-11-3] Last Battle: Win vs. Erika (Battle #42)
I rock!
Pikachu says not to get too confident!
Why do you say that?
Bob ran into mailbox!
Pikachu says that’s why!
Mailbox wants to fight!
Hmmm…a mailbox. That’s a new one.
Mailbox used Letter Shoot!
Letter shot out to Bob!
OWWW! A papercut!
Eh? This letter says that I’ve won a free Mew!
Mew was added to Bob’s collection!
WOO-HOO! You call that an attack, ya stupid mailbox!
Pikachu asks what you would expect from a mailbox and who you’re talking to!
Um…nothing and no one. Let’s go.
Figure appeared!
Hey! Looks like some one to kill!
Frank is the figure!
Hey! I’ve never seen him before!
Frank is a new comer!
Eh, go fig.
Hey Frank! You wanna get your ass whooped?
Frank: How!
I’ll challenge you to a Pokemon match!
Frank: What’s a Pokie-Moon?
Oh great. Now we’ve got TWO mumbling idiots in our version.
Jigglypuff says to use her for battle!
Frank understands!
Bob wants to fight!
Bob sent out Mew!
Frank sent out Jigglypuff!
I’ll pound you!
Bob grabs for Mega-Ass Stone!
AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! Where is it?
Pikachu has it and wants you to fight without it like the old days!
Oh fine! I can fair well with my Mew here!
Mew used Fly!
Mew flew away!
NOOOOOO! Come back!
Jigglypuff used Pound!
Bob was pounded into the ground!
CRUD!!! Ow, wait for me ok?
Go Pokemon!
Go, Magikarp!
Out of ALL of my balls I retrieved out of 150, I get a Magikarp!?!?!?
Pikachu snickers!
Shut up.
Magikarp used Thunder!
What? Oh yeah! My Magikarp is the special one!
Being abandoned and frozen in time by the webmaster’s leaving for half a year doesn’t help either.
Jigglypuff is weak!
OK, Magikarp that’s enough. Go, Pokeball!
Return, Magikarp!
Go, Rhydon!
Cool!
Rhydon used Crush!
Jigglypuff was crushed!
Jigglypuff fainted!
Yeah! Rhydon you rock!
Rydon used Crush!
Jigglypuff died!
STOP!!!! You killed his Pokemon!
Rhydon says that you’re right!
Rhydon used Crush!
Frank fainted!
That’s enough! What’s wrong with you?
Rhydon used Crush!
Frank died!
Oooh… that’s not good.
Rhydon glared at Bob and Pikachu!
Err…goodbye!
Bob and Pikachu ran away really fast!
Battle #45: Most Vile VS Most Idiotic (November 13, 2000)
Location: Pallet Town
Player: Ash [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Bob (Battle #25)
Yeah! I rock!
I’m going to look at my badges again!
Ash looked at badges!
It was really nice that most of the gym leaders gave me these badges because they pity my stupidity!
Wait a second…HEY!
Doompuff appeared!
Woah, what’s that?
Dexter: Doompuff, the destructive Pokemon. There is one in every version but the original lies in Aqua. If I were you, I would run for your life right now if you see one!!!
I’m not afraid of no Doompuff!
Pikachu is!
Sissy! Go, Lapras!
Doompuff stepped forward to fight and trampled Mrs. Ketchum’s flower garden!
Mrs. Ketchum appeared!
Uh, hi mom.
Mrs. Ketchum: What are you doing to my beautiful flower bed, you thing?
Doompuff is enraged!
Doompuff snapped Mrs. Ketchum in two!
NOOOO! I must avenge the death of my mother! Lapras, Ice Beam!
Lapras used Ice Beam but since Ash never trained it to use it, it bounced off the wall and hit Lapras!
Lapras fainted!
Go! Primeape!
…
Wait! I don’t have him! I gave it away to a complete stranger!
Tag team!
Go! Bulbasaur!
Go! Squirtle!
Go! Charizard!
Bulbasaur used Solar Beam!
Squirtle used Hydro Pump!
Charizard took a nap!
OOOOOH!!! CHARIZARD!
Doompuff takes pity on Ash’s stupidity!
Doompuff used Flames from Hell!
All three Pokemon fainted!
GRRRR! I know what will stop him!
Ash is about to use A-Bomb! Do you want to run for cover?
Doompuff says NO!
Oak: Ash! This is not the time to use that!
Screw you, Oak!
Ash broke Pokedex!
Oak appeared!
Oak: That thing cost me a fortune to make just one!
It cost me over seven zillion dollars to give Pokedexes to every stupid punk like you!
Grrr…
Oak sent out Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: GAAAAHH! What am I, an experiment?
Mewtwo destroyed Oak!
Thanks Mewtwo! Now no one will stop me from using A-Bomb!
Ash used A-Bomb!
KA-BLOOOOIE!
Pallet Town is sharred into ashes!
Doompuff is refreshed!
HOLY CRUD!
Doompuff is eating Ash!
Pikachu! Help!
Pikachu doesn’t want to!
EEP….
Ash is fully devoured!
Pikachu thanks Doompuff for that wonderful deed it did!…
…then ran away!
> > E-mail Webmaster
