Battles46to50

Recap: Doompuff's still here but some new characters are starting to enter the fray including Grampa and Simpsaniac. But, in the finale comes AquaDoompuff. And he doesn't like knockoffs of himself!

Battle #46: Grampa and His Bumbing Grandkids in Tree Trouble (November 21, 2000)
Location: A Retirement Home in Nowhere, USA
Player: Grampa [No Record]

Grandkids gathered around Grampa!
Grandkid #1: Tell us a story, Grampa!
Grandkid #3: Grampa's stories suck!
My stories wha? All right then. I'll tell you one that'll scare the hair off your head!
It was back in the old days. Where this demented guy named Jason Ross devised a twisted Pokemon site and it turned out to be one of the weirdest but most popular Pokemon parodies ever. The end.
Grandkid #3: That story sucked!
Grandkid #1: How do you know so much?
Because I was hiding in the trash can!
Grandkid #1: Why were you hiding in the trash can?
You wanna know why? Well...
Tree appeared!
Tree wants to fight!
Haven't seen one of those fighting trees since 1914!
Tree used Punch!
Tree punched Grampa's dentures out!
I payed 2 grand for those! You'll pay!
Grampa used Cane!
Tree says that's a pathetic attempt!
Tree used Fall!
NOOOO! Don't fall on me! I'm too old to die!
Apples fell onto Grampa's head!
I fail to see the threat!
Because Grampa's dentures are gone, Grampa has the disablility to eat apples!
No! Oh yeah?
Grampa used Mindless Babble!
Tree is fast asleep!
Grampa used Medication!
No! Those pink ones keep me from screaming!
Tree took overdose of medication!
Tree is high!
Tree fainted!
Grampa wins!
YEAH! I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!
Anyway...where were we...
Grandkid #1: Why were you hiding in the trash can?
You wanna know why? Visit pokebattles.com/purple!
Grandkid #3: You heard the old fart! Now visit the site so you won't have to read any more of Grampa's sucky stories!
...

Battle #47: Break Out! (November 22, 2000)
Location: The Retirement Home in Nowhere, USA Again
Player: Grampa [Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Tree (Battle #46)

Yay! Thanksgiving Dinner, here I come!
Grampa is spinning around in his wheelchair!
Grampa fell over!
OOFF! Can't get too excited.
Narrator says Thanksgiving is tommorow!
Well, basing on how old everyone is here, they don't remember a thing! But I'm smarter than them!
Now, where's the dining room?
Narrator slaps his head!
Grampa arrives at dinner table!
Hot diggity damn! That's good enough for me!
Pass the cranberry sauce, please old chap!
Old Chap doesn't like being called Old Chap!
Old Chap says there is no cranberry sauce!
NOOOOOOO!!!
You can't have a Thanksgiving dinner without cranberry sauce!
I'm getting out of this joint!
...
(November 24, 2000)
I'm back! What'd I miss!
Narrator says you postponed the battle for two days!
So what? Oh yeah, the updating score and the ranking and the plunging of the site and the dignity and all that...
Grampa is running toward the door!
Nurse Joy blocked the door!
NJ: Where do you think you're going, old man?
I'm busting out of this place!
NJ: But you'll miss Bingo!
I never win that anyway!
Nurse Joy wants to fight!
Oh? You want to fight, eh?
Grampa sent out Grampa!
Nurse Joy sent out Psycho Chansey!
HOLY FRIOLLI! That thing's scary! (pic coming soon)
PC used Chase!
PC: YIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!!!
AAAAAAH!
Grampa is wheeling around to get away from Psycho Chansey!
I know! Me, use reverse mode!
Grampa's wheelchair went into reverse!
SPLATTT!
EWWWW!
Psycho Chansey tured into a teeny tiny grease spot!
NJ sent out Psycho Chansey II!
There's more?
NJ says there's plenty more!
D'OH!
Psycho Chansey II used Chainsaw Cut!
GAAAAH! My thigh! GRRR! You butt!
Grampa used World War I Gernade!
KA-BOOOSH!
Nurse Joy died!
WOO-HOO!
Psycho Chansey II is still standing!
Um...bye!
Grampa ran off!
Two hours later...
Grampa arrived at an ABC Studio Facility!
Eh?
ABC Exxecutive: We meed a new show! It should have A. Trivia, B. Money, C. An Overpaid, overrated Host, or D. Kittens!
I like D. but...
ABC: Let me use my lifeline!
Your wa?
ABC Executive called NBC executive!
ABC: We're thinking about an idea for a new show!
NBC: Let me use my lifeline!
I hate that show!
NBC executive called CBS Executive!
NBC: We need a new show!
CBS: Let me use my life line!
Why me?
CBS Executive called Regis Philbin!
CBS: We need a new show! Got any ideas!
Regis: I do have an idea! Millionaire meets Millionaire!
NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Grampa fainted!
Regis winks!

Battle #48: Who wants to be Doompuff's Next Victim? (November 25, 2000)
Location: The ABC Studio
Player: Regis Philbin [Record: 1-1-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Grampa (Battle #47)

ACTION!
Newscaster: Today we're talking to a man who has a lot a money and people at home think they can win a million dollars by knowing trivia.
Who wants to be a Millionaire is more than trivia! It's action, suspense, greed! Being a millionaire, the American dream! I'm a dreamer!
Newscaster: What's your problem?
I'm glad you asked me that. I do have a problem. Millionaire is #1 in the ratings but the new fall schedule is gonna be tough! Millionaire is going up against Millionaire!
Newscaster: What?
Due to cloning, Millionaire is on every network. All the time!
Newscaster: Remind me to sell my TV. Obviously, everyone has seen every episode but let's show a clip anyway.
CLIP STARTS
Which of the following is not a letter?
A. A
B. B
C. Motorcycle
D. D
CLIP ENDS
Newscaster: You are an idiot!
Newscaster walks away!
Regis Philbin spies something!
What is that purple ball of hell?
Purple Ball of Hell lunges a Regis!
AAAAAAGGGGH!!!

Player: Simpsonaiac [No Record]

Simpsonaiac is looking for yellow skined victims!
I will catch every resident in Springfield!
And my real name is...
Simpsonaiac sees Regis Philbin's shredded corpse!
AAAAAAHHH!!!
Simpsonaiac is running off scared!
Simpsonaiac ran into Doompuff!
What the hell is this thing?
Doompuff wants you to die!
Doompuff sent out James!
Hey! I can send out two since you'e big and scary and deadly and...never mind...
Simpsonaiac send out Groundskeeper Willie and Apu!
Apu! Intimidate him!
Apu is fluttering about like a humminbird!
Doompuff is disgusted!
Doompuff used Check-Out Time!
WA-FOOOM!
That had to hurt!
Apu: Thank you! Come again!
Apu fainted!
Um...
Go! Comic Book Guy!
Groundskeeper Willie used Haggis Flip!
Whack a paq!
James has Haggis splattered all over him!
James is eating the Haggis!
James ate off his legs!
Ew that was nasty.
Comic Book Guy used Review!
CBG: This latest episode of Xenia is terribly awful and I was on the internet so fast after its release to spread my hatred over the internet. Worst issue ever.
James is confused by all that mumbo jumbo!
Um, Xenia isn't that bad of a comic.
James fainted!
Ha! I win, you stupid thing!
Doompuff says to think fast!
Wha?
Simpsonaiac blinked for a milisecond!
Comic Book Guy and Groundskeeper Willie fainted!
Uh...
Doompuff is looming over Simpsoniac!
...oh...
Simpsoniac ran away!

Player: Regis Philbin [Record: 1-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs Doompuff (This Battle)

Regis's voice is muffled from inside Doompuff's stomach!
That was his final answer. This is Regis Philbin, this is Battle #48 and this is like it!
Doompuff punched his stomach!
Regis is fully devoured!

Battle #49: Vetoed Votes (November 29, 2000)
Location: Earth, The Legislative Government Office
Player: Recount Commisioner [No Record]

Hmmm� the fourth recount�
Voting Commisioner yawns!
Now, let�s count these measely ballots.
Dump Truck appeared!
Dump Truck dumped out trillions of ballots that filled up the room!
HOLY CRAP!!! I have to count all these!
Voting Commisioner starts counting!
One�Gore, two�Bush, three�Bush, four�

Seven months later�
Location: The Gore Residence
Player: Al Gore [No Record]

Hmmm�let�s see what�s in the news besides me�
Newspaper Headline: Election 2000: Day 232! We finally have a president even though we were supposed to have one around eight months ago! Yay!
Bush won!!!! This is an outrage! I want another recount! Did they miscount the absentee ballots?
Rebulican Party appeared!
Bush: Stop whining! I won fair and square, you lose!
Gore is crying like a baby!
But I wanted to win!
Bush: Well, tough noogies!
Tough noogies? Sir, that is, sir, an insult, sir!
Gore wants to fight!
Bush wants to fight!
Gore sent out Liberman!
Bush sent out Chaney!
Liberman! Taunt him!
Liberman used YouHaveASickFirstName!
Chaney is paralyzed!
Well, he does�it is Dick after all�
Chaney used Name Change!
Chaney and Liberman swapped first names!
NOOOO!!! I have a sicko first-named vice president!
Chaney and Liberman are shooting ballots at each other!
You teach that EX-Vice president who�s boss!
Both vice-presidents got paper cuts!
Liberman and Chaney fainted!
Blast it!
Gore sent out Gore!
Bush sent out Bush!
HA! I�m a better president then you!
Bush: You haven�t even been president yet!
D�oh!
Bush used ILegallyWon!
NOOO!
Gore is losing health fast!
You�did�not win!
Gore used IwantAnotherRecount!
Narrator refuses!
Oh yeah! Bush, I�ll see you in court!
Bush and Gore are entering courtroom!
Judge, I�d like to have a fifty-second recount!
One mila-second later�
Judge: Court in favor of Bush, next case.
That�s no way to treat a president!
Bush says that you aren�t president!
D�oh!
Ralph Nater appeared!
Nater: Why didn�t I win!
Oh, the pathetic leader of the Green Party that only got 2% of the vote!
Bush and Gore are laughing heartlely!
Nater used Wail!
Everyone in the courtroom fainted!
Nater: Vote for me, Ralph Nater!
Nater wins!

Battle #50: The Big Five-O Battle-O! (November 30, 2000)
Location: Purpliod City Memorial Graveyard
Player: PokeFreak [Record: 1-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Mr. Man (Battle #30)

People are mourning at a funeral!
Preacher: Today, we bid farewell to PokeFreak, the maniac that no body loved yadda yadda yadda. Let�s get outta here!
Everyone leaves!
Hey! I�m not dead yet!
PokeFreak is buried!
GAKK!
PokeFreak is choking from dirt!
PokeFreak surfaces!
Gaaah� this version will pay�
�dearly!

Location: Springfield, USA
Player: Bart/Homer Simpson [Record: 1-1-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Itchy and Scratchy (Battle #15)/ Win vs. Mr. Burns (Battle #29)

Bart skateboards out of class playing hooky!
This was the best idea ever! Bartholomew J. Simpson, this is your best plan yet!
Bart skateboards over to the Kwik-E-Mart!
Bart spies Homer�s car!
Uh-oh, if Homeboy spots me here, I�m dead!
Homer spots Bart!
D�oh!
Homer: Boy! Shouldn�t you be at school?
Time for Plan B!
Bart holds up a donut!
Homer hugs Bart!
Homer: The boy loves me!
Homer and Bart walk into Kwik-E-Mart!
I�ll have a Jumbo-Squishee!
Homer: And a jumbo bag of Pork Rinds!
Apu: Sweet and salty as usual, boys?
Homer: Damn straight!
You the man, Homer!
Homer and Bart slap each other five!
Apu waddles off to get food!
Mac walks by!
Mac: Hiya, Bart!
Who the hell are you?
Mac: I�m Mac! I have the locker next to you, the desk in front of yours and we�re partners in class!
Bart stares blankeyed!
POV switchs to Homer!
Portal appeared in wall!
Wha?
Homer streches hand through it!
Oooh�it looks like something from that twilighty show about that zone�
Bart, Homer and Mac are sucked in!
AAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!!
Apu returns with purchases!
Apu: That will be four ninty-where�d they go?
Narrator informs Apu that they were sucked in a portal and are now in the Purploid Universe over seventy zillion lightyears away!
Apu: Oh dear, something must be done!
Apu: Thank you, come again!

Player: Marge Simpson [No Record]

Marge, Lisa and Maggie run into Kwik-E-Mart!
Apu! Have you seen my husband!
Yes, he and your son have been sucked into a vortex!
OH NO!
Bart cut school!
Apu: This vortex to a twisted dimension called the Purploid Universe and salty snacks are conveniently stocked in Aisle 3!
Hold on, Homey! I�m coming!
Lisa: Wait up, Mom!
Marge, Lisa and Maggie jump into vortex!

Location: Bob the Cameraman's Residence
Player: Bob the Cameraman [Record: 10-11-3] Last Battle: Win vs. Erika (Battle #42)

Bob?
Bob is loafing around watching TV and eating Pork Rinds!
Forget it! Change location!

Location: The Firey Underworld (Hell for those fresh-mouths)
Player: Cool Dude [Record: 3-5-2] Last Battle: Loss vs. Doompuff (Battle #43)

Where the heck am I?
YOU are in HELL!
You don't have to say heck to be good anymore! It's alright to say HELL in HELL!
AH! What'd I do wrong!
YOU stole that pen from the post office!
It was an accident! It fell into my pocket!
Portal to life opened!
Yay! A chance to live!
Cool Dude is running toward portal!
Ash blocked way!
What do you want?
Ash wants to LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
What do you have to live for? To be an idiot?
Ash wants to fight!
GRRR! Can't now, saving life.
Ash sent out Charizard!
Go away!
Cool Dude used Shout!
No effect!
D'oh, all right.
Cool Dude sent out Action Man!
What the?
Action Man! The greatest hero of them all!
Action Man used Pathetic Financing Commerical!
Ash is bored and falls asleep!
Now's my chance!
Professor Oak wants to fight!
Oh brother!
Go! Speed Buggy!
Cool Dude jumped into Speed Buggy!
How do you work this confoundit thing?
Cool Dude ran over Professor Oak!
Yay!
Speed Buggy went into overdrive!
CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speed Buggy is out of control!
Sailor Scouts appeared!
Sailor Scouts want to fight!
GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU FOXY CHICKS!
Sailor Moon: In the name of the moon, I shall-
Sailor Venus: Screw the motto, we're about to be-
SQUISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cool Dude ran over Sailor Scouts!
No! That could have been a date.
Speed Buggy is heading toward portal!
YAY! I'm gonna live! I'm gonna-
Speed Buggy screeched to a halt!
Cool Dude was impaled into a tree!
Speed Buggy had stopped to let a microscopic ant cross by!
Nurse Joy skipped into portal!
NOO!
Portal closed!
No! Who am I going to battle now?
Frank: I'm free tonight.
This is going to be a looooooooooooong afterlife...

Location: A Deserted Desert southwest from Purpliod City
Player: AquaDoompuff [No Record]

Portal from Aqua Version appeared!
AquaDoompuff appeared!
Hmmmm�what version is this will is mortally destroy it and its Doompuff?
Narrator informs AquaDoompuff that this is Purple Version!
Then runs away!
Good. Now I will destroy this puny version in a flash!
AquaDoompuff is laughing maniaclly!
Shadowstar looking on, is also laughing maniaclly!
Shadowstar: I wouldn�t want to be in Purple Version right now!
Shadowstar thinks!
Shadowstar: Wait that�s our version! I�d better go warn everyone!