Poké Battles: Foxfire Version

Foxfire Version | 1-5 | 6-10 | 11-15 | 16-20 | 21-25 | 26-30 | 31-35 | 36-40 | 41-45 | 46-50 | 51-55 | 56-60 | 61-65 | 66-70 | 71-75 | 76-80 | 81-85| 86-90 | 91-95 | 96-100 | 101-105 | 106-110 | 111-115 | 116-120 | 121-125 | 126-130 | 131-135 | 136-140 | 141-145 | 146-150 | 151-155

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Welcome to PokéBattles: Foxfire Version. PokéBattles are a unique form of parodic Pokémon fanfiction from the early days of the Pokémon fandom and in the style of the games' narration, defined by the presence of a player who speaks, and a NARRATOR who describes (and, often, distorts) everything else, one line at a time. For more information, go to pokebattles.com, the official site. This site is an unofficial revival, and I want it to live and grow.

"Foxfire" is a name for ghostly lights at night. Sparks of light and flame from decay of the past. Ghosts, spirits, things that lead travelers astray. A memory of what has been in the past, and new life stemming from death. This website is both a memorial to Poké Battles as they were, and a revivification of the format that I hope will last longer than it did before. Also, Ninetales.

New battles will come on Thursday. Updates on the state of the network come on Saturday. New Amber Archive versions will come on Saturdays as available. Other updates will come as feasible.

You can contact me, Hiber, at pokebattles.foxfire@gmail.com. The site also has a Discord here.

10/12/2024: Network Update: Sandy Version has Battle #136: We Are Gathered Here Today up! A different sort of Poké Weddings.
Not delayed this time, but the blog upddate was.

10/10/2024: Battle #163: Stump Speech is up on Foxfire Version. It's still 10/10. Barely. It counts.

10/6/2024: Network Update: Sandy Version has Battle #135: Going for Gold up. The decisive showdown! It's good! Go read it!
Slightly delayed (again...) due to yesterday.

Latest Battle: Battle #163: Stump Speech

I don't even know.

Battle 163: Stump Speech 10/10/2024
Location: Earlygame Forest
Player: Gerry [0-1-1] Last Battle: #158

GERRY used STUMP SPEECH!
GERRY gave SPEECH from STUMP!
Leaves, leaves, leaves.
I have crowd sizes. It's the economy.
I have done more for trees than any politician in the history.
Blah. Blah blah? Blah blah money blah.
Blah.
Blah, blah, blah...
TREE used LEAF!
TREE LEFT!
Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what your country can do for me.
Presenting: My vice candidate, Leopard.
LEOPARD: If you elect us we'll eat your enemies' faces.
LEOPARD: If I am in charge I will keep you safe. By eating the other party's faces.
Expertly said my good leopard. And I will be able to pardon myself.
UM RED: Why are you giving a speech in a forest anyway, this is dumb by our standards.
Because when we lose we're just going to pretend like we won anyway.
And besides, look at the crowd size! It's a captive audience! You can hardly see the forest through 'em.
UM RED: ... They're trees, boss.
LEOPARD: And trees are both powerful and capable of great violence.
LEOPARD: Therefore, even without faces, it will be worthwhile to have them on our side if we can.
Now where was I. Ah, yes, from the standpoint of water, bloviate, bloviate, ramble, nonsensoleum.
TREE used LEAF!
TREE LEFT!
UM RED: They're leaving.
LEOPARD: Yes that's fine, as long as a reasonable number are still on board...
TREE: ... boo ... Ramble ramble.
You know, trees love me.
And I love trees too, if you haven't heard about my environmental policy...
Buy my new trading cards. I love trees. Couldn't make 'em without 'em.
LEOPARD: !!
LEOPARD: Mr. Gerry, you may not wish to mention--
Enemy TREES is angry!
Enemy TREES wants to fight!
LEOPARD: --...anything made of paper... ugh, too late.
Enemy TREES used FALL!
APPLES fell on GERRY!
This is outrageous. It's unfair.
More importantly, it's unfair against me!
In which case I am entirely justified in cheating back. Go, Gerryzard.
GERRY sent out GERRYZARD!
GERRYZARD used INCENDIARY RHETORIC!
It's super effective!
Enemy TREES was burned!
Enemy TREES' rage is building!
Enemy TREES's attack rose!
Enemy TREES used FALL!
BURNING LEAVES fell on GERRYZARD!
GERRYZARD fainted!
BURNING LEAVES fell on GERRY!
GERRY fainted!

Player: Ugly Monkey Red [1-4-1] Last Battle: #161

 Well heck this, I'm outta here.
No! There's no running from a POKé BATTL--
You know as well as I do that's not true now where's the way out
Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, EAST and WEST!
All are blocked by enemy TREES!
Well things-I-throw.
Enemy TREES used BRANCH TOSS!
UM RED fainted!

Player: Face-Eating Leopard [1-1-0] Last Battle: #159

 ...And it falls to me.
Fortunately for me I have a strategy for this situation.
While I am primarily a connoisseur of countenances, I am also a leopard.
As these two have not yet outlasted their usefulness, I will therefore lift them into the trees like a baby hippopotamus, thus escaping from our arboreal aggressors.
LEOPARD used TREE CLIMB!
LEOPARD climbed TREE!
LEOPARD, UM RED, and GERRY ran away!
TREE is angry!
TREE used FALL!
TREE fainted!
But, LEOPARD has already left BATTLEFIELD!
Battle ended in a draw!

Pokémon and all related properties are owned by Nintendo; other properties used in this work are copyright to their respective owners. I own none of those properties. This site is a work of parody and historical documentation. Poké Battles is owned by Jason Ross.
I own only those characters and concepts original to this work.
Typical fanfiction disclaimer.