Pokébattles Foxfire

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Battles 91-95: The Seven Battle War.

<< Older | Tournament #4 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | Newer >>

PokéBattles Foxfire: Tournament IV

The Side Villain Tournament

>> Read Here <<

Seven-Battle War, Part 2. Filler.

Battle 91: Khanbine 2/16/2023
Setting: Games 100%
Player: Combine [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Theodoric and Catnip Ethylene (Battle #90)

GENGHIS KHAN appeared!
Attention please. Access to this block is not permitted. To receive this message is to be in civil code violation.
GENGHIS KHAN wants to fight!
Security alert. Individual, please cooperate with ground protection team.
Get'm! DEATHSQUAD!
Enemy GENGHIS KHAN sent out ONAGER!
Ground protection team: alert. Code: Engage. Isolate. Neutralize.
DEATHSQUAD used ENGAGE-ISOLATE-NEUTRALIZE!
It's not very effective...
Enemy ONAGER is already MARRIED to enemy SCORPION!
Enemy ONAGER is not in a DOUBLE BATTLE right now!
Enemy ONAGER is already CHEMICALLY NEUTRAL!
Reminder, ground teams: Mission failure will result in permanent relocation.
Enemy ONAGER used ONAGE!
DEATH SQUAD was fully ONAGEd!
Systemic error: Definition for verb 'onage' does not appear in local dictionary.
This incident will be reported.
DEATH SQUAD fainted!
Overwatch acknowledges containment failure.
Suppressor inbound.
The enemy's a medieval siege weapon! Go! SUPPRESSOR!
Enemy GENGHIS KHAN withdrew ONAGER!
Enemy GENGHIS KHAN sent out SIEGE RAM!
... Opposition appears to be a hand pushed wooden box with minimal metal plating.
Suppressive fire.
SUPPRESSOR used SUPPRESSIVE FIRE!
It's not very effective...
SUPPRESSOR's SUPPRESSOR caught on FIRE!
Enemy SIEGE RAM used CLOSE AND UNGARRISON!
Enemy SIEGE RAM got in CLOSE! At 75mph!
Enemy SIEGE RAM sent out CHAMPION!
Enemy SIEGE RAM sent out CHAMPION!
Enemy SIEGE RAM sent out... Never mind!
Enemy SIEGE RAM sent out CHAMPION x6 in total!
Enemy CHAMPION x6 used SWORD x6!
Hit 6 times!
SUPPRESSOR fainted!
Security alert. Containment ineffective. Requisitioning heavy forces.
The enemy has a tiny fraction of your tech and is still winning! Get'm STRIDER!
Enemy GENGHIS KHAN withdrew SIEGE RAM!
Enemy GENGHIS KHAN sent out MANGUDAI!
Enemy MANGUDAI used CAV ARCHERY!
It's super effective!
Individual, you are charged with capital malcompliance. Anti-citizen status approved.
Code: Gauss, Gauss, Gauss.
STRIDER took in power!
Enemy MANGUDAI used PARTHIAN TACTICS!
It's super effective!
Enemy MANGUDAI's EVADE rose!
STRIDER used GAUSS CANNON!
STRIDER's attack missed!
Alert. Alert. Invasive operation of anti-citizen origin. Containment failure class epsilon.
Enemy MANGUDAI used CAV ARCHERY!
It's super effective!
STRIDER fainted!
Alert. Alert. This block has been compromised. Access to this block is not permitted.
All ground units and citizens in this block: Withdraw. Withdraw. Withdraw.
COMBINE ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Seven-Battle War, Part 3. More story development.

Battle 92: Critical Confluence 2/16/2023
Location: New Home, Throne/Garden Room
Player: Catnip Ethylene [3-0-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Combine (#90)

*achoo*
Ugh... my head feels like I fell fifty feet onto flowers and got hay fever...
ASGORE: That's because you landed on my flower bed.
Oh. Uh... Sorry about that? ... Oh man you're big...
And fluffy!!
CATNIP used HUG!
CATNIP's attack missed!
ASGORE: ... Human... I'm sorry...
... Huh? For what...?
Wait, don't tell me. That look on your face.
It's the look of someone who has to kill me for some contrived reason.
Am I wrong?
ASGORE: Unfortunately not.
ASGORE: The Barrier lies beyond this. In ages past, we were sealed here by humans.
ASGORE: It takes seven human SOULs to break it. We have six.
ASGORE: ... And so, with you, we'll be able to be free once more...
ASGORE: Human. I'm sorry.
Ooooh no. Nope. I'm not gonna let you do that.
Besides, it's better in here! The outside is full of aaaaAAAABEHINDYOU---
ASGORE: . . . Full of a'a behind you? It's full of lava?
COMBINE GRUNT appeared!
ASGORE: ...What? What kind of monster are you?
COMBINE GRUNT: Echo one, visual on unknown target. Engaging.
COMBINE GRUNT wants to fight!
Dive behind cover!
CATNIP used DIVE BEHIND COVER!
CATNIP dove behind COVER!
COVER was renamed ASGORE!
Enemy COMBINE GRUNT used PLASMA MACHINE GUN!
It's not very effective...
ASGORE: . . . Is... Is this a bullet pattern greeting card?
ASGORE: It doesn't seem to have much expressive value...
Enemy COMBINE GRUNT's attack continues!
It's not very effective...
ASGORE: You're going to damage my garden... Please stop that?
It's not gonna stop! ... Also I think they're former humans!?
Enemy COMBINE GRUNT's attack continues!
It's not very effective...
ASGORE: ...
ASGORE: Is it just just going to keep doing that?
I don't know! Usually people are dead by the time it's attacked for this long!
Except Huskarls and they usually kill them first!
COMBINE GRUNT: Grenade out!
Enemy COMBINE GRUNT used GRENADE!
ASGORE absorbed the attack!
...
ASGORE: ... Strange creature, you're embarrassing yourself...
ASGORE: Perhaps I should demonstrate?
ASGORE used FLAME RIPPLE LV. 0!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
COMBINE GRUNT: ... Echo One requesting immediate containment--
Enemy COMBINE GRUNT exploded!
Enemy COMBINE GRUNT died!
... Oh wow...
You took it down in one hit! Without even really trying!
ASGORE: ...
ASGORE: That was not my intention... Do you know what that was?
Horrible murderous cyborgs trying to take over the world... Or that already have, or something...
It might be former human! So you don't have to kill me anymore!
ASGORE: Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to have any kind of soul...
... well, uh...
You saved me from it! You saved my life, that measns I'm your guest and you can't kill me.
Yeah. That's how hospitality works, doesn't it!?
ASGORE: ... Well, under ordinary circumstances I would have to kill you anyway...
ASGORE: But... Apparently there's another human also in the Underground...
ASGORE: And the other one's doing a lot more damage than you.
ASGORE: So ... Maybe a truce? I still have an obligation to my people to take revenge on the humans once we get out...
... yeah, about that... Could you maaaybe pass the Combine off as the humans that did it?...
ASGORE: ... I'll think about it.
... also, why do I suddenly have a really bad feeling-
ISEKIAN appeared!
ISEKIAN: Ah! The Demon King! In the flesh! Surprise attack!
ISEKIAN used ULTRA BALL!
Congratulations! ASGORE was caught!
... Wait, what?!
Hey! You! You just caught the big fluffy guy right as I was starting to get through to him!
ISEKIAN: You mean the Demon King? Well of course I did!
ISEKIAN: I'm the hero and he's the Demon King! It's what I do!
You give him back right now, you...!
ISEKIAN: If you're with the Demon King... You're also my enemy!
CATNIP wants to fight!
ISEKIAN wants to fight!
To be continued...

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Seven-Battle War, Part 4.
With some credit to ChatGPT for helping me come up with certain parts of this battle.
Because somehow that chatbot is better at wordplay than I am sometimes...

Battle 93: New Combineations 3/2/2023
Location: Dystopia
Player: Jane F. Deer [7-1-5] Last Battle: Win vs. Combine (#89)

... Well, Doomguy's on his way.
... this is gonna work, right? I mean, we've already lost Theodoric...
DMOREAU: It will absolutely work. I know my work.
... Oooo-kaaaay... Aaaand, remind me why you're working with us again?
DMOREAU: The Combine do the exact opposite of uplifting.
Right... Well... They're coming.
COMBINE wants to fight!
Enemy COMBINE sent out STRIDER!
This is it!
... Go! Smartphone!
The enemy's a giant bio-mechanical mecha! Get'm SMARTPHONE!
Ally DMOREAU sent out TREE MAN!
Smartphone, try Privacy Block!
SMARTPHONE used PRIVACYBLOCK!
SMARTPHONE's EVADE greatly rose!
Ally TREE MAN used BRANCH TOSS!
Enemy STRIDER was hit by BRANCH!
It's super effective!
Enemy STRIDER used STRID!
Ally TREE MAN was dunked in BOLTON STRID!
...Needless to say, Ally TREE MAN died!
Oh heck they learned to use pun attacks
Ally DMOREAU sent out PARKINGGARAGE MAN!
... You can uplift buildings!?
DMOREAU: Yes.
Right... Right then. Now it's our turn.
Phone! Flame it over text!
PHONE used FLAME TEXT!
Enemy STRIDER's TEXT burst into FLAMEs!
... But, ENTIRE SITE is TEXT including enemy STRIDER!
Enemy STRIDER burst into FLAMEs!
Enemy STRIDER fainted!
Yeah!
Enemy COMBINE sent out HEADCRAB GORILLA!
... Uh.
Hoo boy. At least it can't get much worse than a gorilla.
Enemy HEADCRAB GORILLA used BARREL THROW!
Enemy HEADCRAB GORILLA threw HEADCRAB BARREL at Ally PARKINGGARAGE MAN!
Ally PARKINGGARAGE MAN is full of HEADCRABs!
Ally PARKINGGARAGE MAN's HP is going down!
... Uh.
Enemy HEADCRAB GORILLA's attack continues!
Enemy HEADCRAB GORILLA threw EXPLODING BARREL at SMARTPHONE!
Enemy HEADCRAB GORILLA's attack missed!
... But, SMARTPHONE was within SPLASH DAMAGE RADIUS!
Okay never mind this thing is a lot worse than a normal gorilla.
Go! Taser!
The enemy's a terrifying undead gorillabomination! Get'm TASER!
Volt Tackle to the Oompa Loompas!
TASER used VOLT TACKLE TO THE OOMPA LOOMPAS!
A critical hit!
OOMPA LOOMPAS: Ooompa Loompa Doo-ba-dee-D'ARGH--
OOMPA LOOMPAS fainted!
It doesn't affect enemy HEADCRAB GORILLA!
TASER's hit with recoil!
... oh heck...
Ally PARKINGGARAGE MAN used PANCAKE COLLAPSE!
Ally PARKINGGARAGE MAN made PANCAKES, then COLLAPSED!
... On enemy HEADCRAB INFESTATION and enemy HEADCRAB GORILLA!
Ally PARKINGGARAGE MAN fainted!
Enemy HEADCRAB GORILLA fainted!
Ally DMOREAU sent out TREBUCHET MAN!
... Whew...
Enemy COMBINE sent out COMBINE TREE!
... Is that...
Oh ye Webmasters...
Enemy COMBINE TREE used ROOT SHOOT!
Enemy COMBINE opened up with ROOT GUNS!
Hit 15 times!
TASER fainted!
Ally TREBUCHET MAN's in critical condition!
Ally TREBUCHET MAN used UNPACK!
Ally TREBUCHET MAN is unpacking!
... shootshootshoot
DMOREAU: Oh, Trebuchet Man can do that...
DMOREAU: If you can stall it for one turn, they'll be unpacked.
DMOREAU: And then they can bring it down in one shot!
... I'll do my best...!
Curtain Rod!
Go! CURTAINROD!
Deflection Spin!
CURTAINROD used DEFLECTION SPIN!
CURTAINROD is DEFLECTing incoming projectile attacks by SPINning!
Enemy COMBINE TREE used PHOTOSYNTH BEAM!
Enemy COMBINE TREE is a SYNTH!
Enemy COMBINE TREE BEAMed CURTAINROD with a PHOTO booth!
CURTAINROD fainted!
... shoot shoot shoot--
Ally TREBUCHET MAN used FOREST CUTTER!
It's super effective!
Yeah! Yeah!
Enemy COMBINE TREE is in critical condition!
...But, Enemy COMBINE TREE is still standing!
. . . UH.
Enemy COMBINE TREE used SAP!
Enemy COMBINE TREE SAPped HP from Ally TREBUCHET MAN!
TREBUCHET MAN fainted!
...We're not winning this.
Run for it!
OAK: JANE! Now is not the time to--
OAK saw enemy COMBINE TREE!
OAK: Never mind this is exactly the time to do that
OAK ran away!
Ally DMOREAU ran away!
JANE ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Seven-Battle War, Part 5.
I'm actually really happy with how this battle turned out, somehow.

Battle 94: Citadel's Doom, Part I 3/9/2023
Location: Dystopia, Citadel
Player: Doomguy Blazkowicz [1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Combine (#89)

... Well, they weren't wrong. I did find a lot of new guns.
And this ... Arm... Bee... thing.
On the other hand I'm not sure of them are a match for the ol' 9000.
But on the other other hand the energy cells are compatible. Somehow.
CITADEL wants to fight!
Of course it does. ... The whole building?
Yes!
Well, at least it's not the Icon of Sin again.
Enemy CITADEL sent out STRIDER DIVISION!
Enemy STRIDER DIVISION used DIVIDE AND CONQUER!
... BFG Division!
DOOMGUY used BFG DIVISION!
Forces collide!
Enemy STRIDER DIVISION was fully DIVIDED by BFG9000!
Enemy STRIDER DIVISION is in 9,000BFG equal sized pieces!
...Needless to say, Enemy STRIDER DIVISION died!
Enemy CITADEL sent out GUNSHIP WING!
Rocket spam!
DOOMGUY used ROCKET SPAM!
Enemy GUNSHIP WING was reduced to SPAM by ROCKETs!
...Needless to say, Enemy GUNSHIP WING died!
Enemy CITADEL sent out COMBINE TROOPER LEGION!
Enemy COMBINE TROOPER LEGION used TACTICAL ENCIRCLEMENT!
... I'm not even going to waste my ammo on these fodder.
Chainsaw Rushdown!
DOOMGUY used CHAINSAW RUSHDOWN!
NARRATOR used RELAX-O-VISION!
...
NARRATOR said, NARRATOR used RELAX-O-VISION!
...
...Where is that RELAX-O-VISION...
Too late, all done.
...Dear LANI...
Congratulations! Enemy COMBINE TROOPER LEGION devolved into RSACi LEVEL 3+ VIOLATION!
Needless to say, Enemy COMBINE TROOPER LEGION died!
Enemy CITADEL sent out COMBINE TREE!
... What in the Nineteen Hells is that?!
Full salvo chaingun!!
DOOMGUY used FULL SALVO CHAINGUN!
It's not very effective...
DOOMGUY's attack continues!
DOOMGUY's attack continues!
DOOMGUY's attack continues!
DOOMGUY's attack continues!
DOOMGUY's attack continues!
Hit 2000 times!
... Did that kill it...
Enemy COMBINE TREE is at 75% HP!
Enemy COMBINE TREE used FALL!
GRENADES fell on DOOMGUY!
GHHHH!
Supershotgun salvo!
DOOMGUY used SUPERSHOTGUN SALVO!
Hit 65,109 times!
It's not very effective...
I'm out...
How is it?
Enemy COMBINE TREE is at 40% health!
Enemy COMBINE TREE used SAP!
Enemy COMBINE TREE sapped health from DOOMGUY!
Enemy COMBINE TREE is at 100% health!
... Fine.
This one's for Daisy, you son of a birch!
DOOMGUY used BRASS KNUCKLES!
DOOMGUY instantly snapped enemy COMBINE TREE in half!
...Needless to say, enemy COMBINE TREE died!
Dynamite.
...Wait.
How did I do that. I don't even have a berserker pack buff right now.
To be continued...

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Seven-Battle War, Part 6.
No code typos this one! I'm not super happy with the writing and rather tired of Doomguy, but whatever.

Battle 95: Citadel's Doom, Part II 3/9/2023
Location: Dystopia, Citadel
Player: Doomguy Blazkowicz [2-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Combine Citadel (#89)

Last time, on PokéBattles: Foxfire Version...

... Fine.
This one's for Daisy, you son of a birch!
DOOMGUY used BRASS KNUCKLES!
DOOMGUY instantly snapped enemy COMBINE TREE in half!
...Needless to say, enemy COMBINE TREE died!
Dynamite.
...Wait.
How did I do that. I don't even have a berserker pack buff right now.
To be continued...

And now...

Enemy CITADEL still wants to fight!
Enemy CITADEL sent out DRBREEN!
... All that and the best they can do for their last line of defense is ... some old guy? Who is this?
DRBREEN: Oh, no, you've breached all our lines of defense.
DRBREEN: The Combine have sent me out here to negotiate.
... Is that terms of surrender? Because if it's not you're wasting both our time. I know there's some kinda bosses deeper in, and I haven't even tried the bee gun...
DRBREEN: ... Truly your capacity for violence is unparalleled.
DRBREEN: But before you deliver me to a truly horrendous fate--
I'm not going to kill you unless you pop a second form or something, you're clearly a noncombat enemy NPC. What is this, Strife?
DRBREEN: ...Ahem.
DRBREEN: As I was saying, we have some information you may be interested in.
DRBREEN: We have been monitoring this planet for some time--
...Is that what that cheesewheel-on-a-raft-looking gunboat crewed by big lizards has been doing?
MONITOR MONITOR: We've been sighted! Bail!
MONITOR MONITOR ran away!
DRBREEN: Ahem.
DRBREEN: Our records go back over the past year or so.
DRBREEN: And we found some unusual information regarding you, personally.
DRBREEN: Behold.
DRBREEN used FLASHBACK!

Time: April 2022
Player: Guy Josselyne

The death of Joan of Arc has not been in vain. 'La Pucelle!' is the rallying cry as peasant and nobleman alike take up arms. A century of English victories were reversed in a little over a year by a teenage girl.
And yet, rumors abound of greater threats. Of forces beyond Britain and beyond all of Europe that would shake the world to its core.
I knew, looking upon the ruins of my army camp, that one of them had just caught up to us, and I feared for the fate of France.
ROCKET used CAPTURENET!
It's super effective!
Congratulations! GUY was caught!
Is it here that my tale will end...?
DMOREAU appeared!
DMOREAU: That's one. Narrating, too.
DMOREAU used DOOM STONE!
What? GUY is evolving!
DMOREAU: Dear Webmasters, he's going flat...
As the change came over me, I felt my body distort. This was not death - this was a fate far worse than it. I thought of the martyr'd Why was I fighting again?
Congratulations! Your GUY evolved into DOOMGUY!
... Daisy.
I would make sure every one of those red coated demon scum got what was coming to them for what they did to Daisy.

Time: Present Time

... So... I'm not an FPS protagonist at all.
In fact, I'm an RTS protagonist.
My entire motivation is wrong. Daisy isn't real. I'm someone else entirely.
DRBREEN: And more than that, you are a rare case where the death of the commanding hero doesn't lead to a loss.
DRBREEN: In other words, you're expendable.
...I'm expendable... I'm just another unit.
DRBREEN used INCITE DESPAIR!
...Somehow, it's super effective!
DOOMGUY's DEFENSE greatly fell!
JANE used PATCH IN!
JANE PATCHed GAME with VOICECLIPPWAD!
JANE: Don't listen to him! I'm coming in over your FPS hero generic headset!
Wait, but I don't have one of those.
JANE: It was in Strife, so it works on your engine! Don't think too much about it!
JANE: More importantly, sometimes people just change when they evolve! Like how Anakin spontaneously turned into an adult and risked turning into Darth Vader! JANE: You're still who you are now!
JANE: Anyway! We didn't grab you just because you were an FPS hero and they're FPS bad dudes!
JANE: We also grabbed you because the Doom Stone was meant to turn things into Doompuff spinoffs!
JANE: Also, you literally just punched a cyborg Tree in half and solo'd an army! You're strong enough to do this!
... Huh... Can Doompuff spinoffs even be human!?
JANE: Detcher was! But you don't seem like a true Doompuff spinoff! You're not destroying the Version!
DMOREAU: I tried to uplift him, but it was a failure...
JANE: Get off the line, Doc, you're not helping...!
JANE: Anyway! Doomguy, you're our best and only hope!
JANE: Your cause is just! Your will is strong! And your guns are very, very large!
Enemy CITADEL sent out COMBINE ADVISOR!
Enemy COMBINE ADVISOR used KILL!
... Yeah. That's right.
Who's a man and a half! I'm a man and a half! Dynamite!
... This one's for you, Joan!
DOOMGUY used DYNAMITE PUNCH!
Forces collide!
GIANT EXPLOSION appeared!
Enemy CITADEL was blown away!

Guy Josselyne is owned by Ensemble Studios.
If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

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