5/14/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 11: All Hell Breaks Loose

Player: Grandpa [4-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Congregation
Enemy SATAN wants to fight!
FINE! FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER OMNIPRESENT DIETY THAT DOESN’T HATE ME YET, HAVE IT YOUR WAY! DUKES, LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH!
GRANDPA had a HEART ATTACK!
Uh...
GRANDPA di... oh wait. you’re already dead. Never mind.
Hah.
GO! DUKES!
Enemy SATAN sent out DAMIEN!
Dukes, the police can’t chase you in Hell! GENERAL LEE, ATTACK!
DUKES used GENERAL LEE!
The GENERAL LEE ran over DAMIEN!
POLICE CAR was sent to HELL!
AAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!! WHY DON’T I EVER GET A BREAK!? HUH!?!?
GRANDPA had a HEART ATTACK!
GENERAL LEE is being CHASED BY POLICE CAR!
GENERAL LEE ran away!
Enemy SATAN sent out LEGIONS OF DEATH!
Dukes, Angry Mob!
DUKES used instead...
Huh? It has another attack? What is it?
GENERAL LEE shook TAIL!
DUKES used GENERAL LEE!
BOOYA!
The GENERAL LEE ran over LEGIONS OF DEATH!
Enemy SATAN sent out SATAN!
Dukes, I’ll finish this!
DUKES, return!
The enemy’s God’s rival! Go, GRANDPA!
Enemy SATAN used FIRE BLAST!
It’s not very effective...
Must be because I’m already dead. Oh well. But in my day, we weren’t sent to Hell instantly. Nope. We had to walk twenty miles in the snow to get to Hell, but there we called it the End of the Line...
GRANDPA used RAMBLE!
It’s super effective!
Enemy SATAN GAVE UP!
Huh?
SATAN will let you LIVE AGAIN!
Hey, thanks!
SATAN will REFORM!
Um...
SATAN will be GOD’s ALLY!
ACK!
GRANDPA was sent to KAYUBA CITY CHURCH!
Uh-oh.
CONGREGATION appeared!
AAAAAAAAAH!
GRANDPA ran away!

5/15/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 12: Coming Back to Haunt You

Player: Grandpa [5-2-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Satan
Hey... Doesn’t Kayuba City have a Pokémon Gym?
Yes, it DOES!
Okay! I GO THERE!
Enemy GLOB appeared!
You again? Get out of my way!
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF appeared!
Um...
Enemy TRAINERGUY appeared!
Er...
Enemy EVOLUMAN appeared!
Eh...
Enemy HOLY JOE appeared!
Then that means...
Enemy CONGREGATION appeared!
AAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
GOGO appeared!
Are you going to fight me too?
GOGO says he needs to take care of some business!
Okay...
Enemy GLOB wants to fight!
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF wants to fight!
Enemy TRAINERGUY wants to fight!
Enemy EVOLUMAN wants to fight!
Enemy HOLY JOE wants to fight!
Enemy CONGREGATION wants to fight
Ally GOGO wants to fight!
Grandpa wants to fight too! I wanna fight!
Enemy GLOB sent out MARIO BOOT!
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF sent out TREE!
Enemy TRAINERGUY sent out VENUSAUR!
Enemy EVOLUMAN sent out ALAKAZAM!
Enemy HOLY JOE sent out FLAMING BUSH!
Enemy CONGREGATION sent out JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES!
Ally GOGO sent out MR. MIME!
GRANDPA sent out SQUALL!
You’re that one guy!
SQUALL unleashed LIMIT BREAK!
SQUALL used RENZOKUKEN!
GRANDPA sidestepped!
SQUALL kept going and crashed!
Hit TREE 7 times!
Enemy TREE fainted!
Enemy BIGGLYMUFF sent out SAPLING!
That doesn’t sound good.
Ally MR. MIME is MIMING!
Ally MR. MIME used RENZOKUKEN!
Ally MR. MIME kept going and crashed!
Ally MR. MIME fainted!
GOGO: WORTHLESS LITTLE...!!
Ally GOGO sent out GOGO!
Enemy JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES used DOOR-TO-DOOR REVIVAL!
HAH! I’m not afraid! I’m associated with SATAN!
GRANDPA’s DIGNITY greatly fell!
I had none at the start.
It’s not very effective...
Squall, use your, uh... Gunblade!
SQUALL used GUNBLADE!
It’s super effective!
Enemy FLAMING BUSH fainted!
Enemy HOLY JOE sent out JESUS STATUE!
Enemy SAPLING used SAP!
SQUALL was SAPped of HP!
SQUALL fainted!
Uh-oh! Bigstick, go!
Go! BIGSTICK!
Enemy ALAKAZAM used PSYCHIC!
ALAKAZAM will FAINT shortly!
Bigstick, Smash Alakazam!
BIGSTCK used SMASH!
ALAKAZAM fainted!
Heh.
Enemy MARIO BOOT used STOMP!
GOGO was STOMPed!
It’s not very effective...
Ally GOGO is MIMING!
Ally GOGO used STOMP!
JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES were STOMPed!
JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES fainted!
What? ENEMIES are evolving!
ACK!
ENEMIES evlolved into LOCAL ANGRY MOB!
Well, that SHOULD make it a little easier...
Enemy LOCAL ANGRY MOB sent out CONGREGATION!
Um...
Enemy CONGREGATION used RAGE!
Enemy CONGREGATION is RIOTING!
Enemy CONGREGATION threw a PULPIT!
Critical hit!
BIGSTICK fainted!
ARG!
Ally GOGO is MIMING!
Ally GOGO threw a PULPIT!
Critical hit!
CONGREGATION fainted!
Woohoo!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB sent out MARIO BOOT!
Ally GOGO used TRANSFORM!
Ally GOGO TRANSFORMed into LOCAL ANGRY MOB!
WOOHOO!
FORCES COLLIDED!
Um... BYE!
GRANDPA ran away!
Ally GOGO ran away!
Enemy LOCAL ANGRY MOB followed in pursuit!

5/16/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 13: The Sandshrew Shut-out

Player: Gogo [0-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Local Angry Mob
Well, Grandpa, we lost them!
GOGO and GRANDPA are HIDING in ALLEY!
GRANDPA AGREES!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB PASSED by GOGO and GRANDPA in ALLEY!
Whew.
Enemy STORM DRAIN appeared!
Storm drain? ENEMY Storm Drain!? THIS TOWN IS MESSED UP!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!!
GRANDPA AGREES!
Hey wait, isn’t that the Pokémon Gym?
Enemy STORM DRAIN wants to fight!
Let’s go!
GOGO and GRANDPA walked away from Enemy STORM DRAIN!
Enemy STORM DRAIN’s RAGE is building!
GOGO knocks on DOOR!
DOOR fell!
Uh...
On GOGO!
Um...
GOGO fainted!
Er...
GOGO is CRUSHED!
Eh...
GOGO died!
EGH!?
GOGO was sent to HEAVEN!
Enemy ST. PETER appeared!
Oh great. Here we go.
Enemy ST. PETER used REFORM!
ST. PETER joined GOGO!
Woohoo!
GOGO entered HEAVEN!
WOOHOO!
GOGO was sent to BLACK VERSION!
Uh... Woohoo?
Player: Grandpa [5-3-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Local Angry Mob
Um... Bye Gogo.
GRANDPA enters KUBA CITY GYM!
VINCENT appeared!
I wanna fight the Gym Leader!
VINCENT IS the GYM LEADER!
Okay. I wanna fight you!
VINCENT doesn’t want to fight!
BUT I DO! IWANNAIWANNAIWANNA!!!
VINCENT agrees if you’ll STOP WHINING!
Okay!
VINCENT wants to fight!
Enemy VINCENT sent out SANDSHREW!
Go, Squall!
Go! SQUALL!
Enemy SANDSHREW used FISSURE!
One-hit K.O.!
SQUALL fainted!
Bigstick, go!
The enemy’s pretty strong! Go, BIGSTICK!
Enemy SANDSHREW used SANDSTEW!
BIGSTICK was found GUILTY!
Of what?
BIGSTICK is now STEWing in a DESERT JAIL!
WHAT WAS BIGSTICK GUILTY OF!?!?
That’s for the WEBMASTER to know!
Ugh... Oh well. GO, DUKES!
The enemy’s gonna kill you! Go, DUKES!
GENERAL LEE!
LAW prohibits DRIVING in BUILDINGS!
Since when did Dukes obey the law?
Ever since BIGSTICK went to JAIL!
THAT WAS 30 SECONDS AGO!
WORD used TRAVEL FAST!
WORLD knows BIGSTICK is in JAIL!
FINE! DUKES, ANGRY MOB!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB appeared!
EEEEK!!
GRANDPA ran away!
VINCENT won!
I’ll get you!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB got CRYSTAL BADGE!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB followed GRANDPA!

5/17/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 14: Lockdown

Player: Grandpa [5-4-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Vincent
Stupid Sandshrew... I’m gonna kill it if I have to...
GRANDPA is in DESERT PRISON!
WARDEN appears!
Hi. A Sandshrew put one of my Pokémon in here.
WARDEN asks to IDENTIFY the POKéMON!
It was about as big as me, looked like a club, was called Bigstick?
WARDEN says BIGSTICK was found GUILTY!
Of what?
That’s for the WEBMASTER to know!
I want it back!
TOO BAD!
FINE! SQUALL, BUST BIGSTICK OUT!
Go! SQUALL!
WARDEN wants to fight!
Duh.
WARDEN sent out COP!
Squall, use your Rezennozogoogan!
SQUALL is confused!
Huh?
GRANDPA is confused!
They hurt each other in their confusion!
OW!!! That sword really hurts!
SQUALL is ANGRY!
SQUALL unleashed LIMIT BREAK!
SQUALL used RENZOKUKEN!
Hit COP 5 times!
COP used COP!
COP COPped an ATTITUDE!
SQUALL was ARRESTED!
NO!! NOT HIM!
GRANDPA sent out DUKES!
Dukes, do anything but General Lee and A-N-G-R-Y-M-O-B!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB appeared!
Oh great...
DUKES used GENERAL LEE!
GENERAL LEE ran over COP!
GENERAL LEE was CAUGHT!
GENERAL LEE was IMPOUNDED!
Wonderful...
LOCAL ANGRY MOB fainted!
Huh..? Uh, I mean... WOOHOO!
WARDEN sent out WARDEN!
WARDEN used MAMBO-TANGO FOXTROT MARTIAL ARTS!
DUKES fainted! Use next Pokémon?
All I have left is my License Card...
The enemy’s got authority! Go, LICENSE CARD!
WARDEN sees LICENSE CARD!
GRANDPA is a SENIOR CITIZEN!
Well, duh.
GRANDPA got back GENERAL LEE, SQUALL, and BIGSTICK!
Huh?
WARDEN used ARREST!
GRANDPA was ARRESTED!
Con sarnit. *sigh*
WARDEN won!

5/18/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 15: NEW HERO Appeared!

Player: Cid [no record.]
CID appeared!
Howdy!
CID is the NEW HERO!
I am?
YES!
Uh... Okay.
CID passed by DESERT PRISON!
This voice in my head is really starting to scare me...
CID’s LEGS lifted off the GROUND!
AAH!
CID entered DESERT PRISON!
But I don’t want to...
CID was DUMPED ON GROUND!
Ow...
WARDEN wants to know WHY YOU’RE HERE!
I don’t know... some weird idiot thing lifted me off the ground and made me go in here...
NARRATOR is INSULTED!
CID was LIFTED OFF GROUND!
SEE!?
CID started to SPIN IN MIDAIR!
STOP IT!! PLEASE!!!
CID STOPPED!
CID was DUMPED ON GROUND!
Again?
YES!
WARDEN wants to know WHY YOU’RE HERE!
I don’t...
TO GET GRANDPA OUT!
...know.
CID was LIFTED OFF GROUND!
TO GET GRANDPA OUT! TO GET GRANDPA OUT! NOW PUT ME DOWN!!
CID was DUMPED ON GROUND!
GRANDPA appeared!
He looks like my grandpa, too.
GRANDPA is ANGRY!
Didn’t mean anything...
GRANDPA wants to fight!
Okay... GO HITMONLEE!
Go! HITMONLEE!
GRANDPA sent out BIGSTICK!
Hitmonlee, Mega Kick!
HITMONLEE used MEGA KICK!
BIGSTICK was KICKED OUT of DESERT PRISON!
Okay... Never saw that happen...
GRANDPA sent out DUKES!
Hi Jump Kick!
HITMONLEE used HI JUMP KICK!
HITMONLEE kept going and crashed!
...into WARDEN!
HITMONLEE was ARRESTED!
But that was my only Pokémon...
Go! CID!
Uh...
DUKES used ANGRY MOB!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB awoke!
GRANDPA ran away!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB followed in pursuit!
CID won!
Woohoo!
CID got back HITMONLEE!