8/8/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 81: Dart Board Decisions

Player: Mysterious Figure B [1-0-1] Last Battle: Win  vs. Gigantic Robo-Salesman
Argh... This is getting boring, waiting around for Darkpuff to die so we can take over... At least I have a new army of Salesmen...
SALESMAN suggests taking over OTHER VERSIONS!
Hey, good idea. SET UP DA DART BOARD!
DA DART BOARD appeared!
Okay... How many Salesmen we got now?
6000!
Okay... Three darts, 2000 go in each Version. Got it. Dart one, GO!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B used THROW!
It’s super effective!
DA DART BOARD is slightly wounded!
...Ruby Version, eh? SEND A SCOUT... TOMORROW!
PORTAL to RUBY VERSION appeared!
SCOUT waited next to PORTAL!
Dart two, GO!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B used THROW!
It’s super effective!
DA DART BOARD needs food!
Quiet, Dart Board. What do we have now... Black Version. SEND A SCOUT TOMORROW!
PORTAL to BLACK VERSION appeared!
SCOUT waited next to PORTAL!
Dart three, GO!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B used THROW!
It’s super effective!
DA DART BOARD is in critical condition!
Red Version? Hm... I feel weird about this...
DA DART BOARD is ANGRY!
Huh? Whoah...
DA DART BOARD wants to fight!
Fine. Go, Giant Robotic Salesman!
Go! HALF-MELTED GRS!
Oh yeah... I forgot about that...
H-M GRS fully melted!
Argh... Go, Salesman!
Go! SALESMAN!
DA DART BOARD used DART!
SALESMAN was hit with MANY DARTS!
SALESMAN fainted!
Doh... Go, Salesman!
There’s no will to fight!
I meant another one.
So did I.
Damn you. Go me.
I choose you, MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B!
DA DART BOARD used DART!
DA DART BOARD’s attack missed!
Hah! I’ll just throw more darts at it!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B used THROW!
It’s super effective!
DA DART BOARD fainted!
PORTAL to RED VERSION appeared!
Send a scout tomorrow.
PORTAL to RED VERSION closed!
Huh? Why?
Because JASONROSS doesn't want to do CROSSOVER!
...
Hey, it's not my fault.
Okay... We'll start again tomorrow. NOW we can take over... SOME worlds! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!
NARRATOR 4 thinks something BAD will HAPPEN...

8/9/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 82: The Takeover?

Player: Mysterious Figure B [2-0-1] Last Battle: Win  vs. Da Dart Board
Okay, bring in our new Dart Board.
DORT BORED appeared!
...You’ve gotta be kidding me. DORT BORED?
Nope. Take it or leave it.
Fine... Dart one, GO!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B used THROW!
It’s super effective!
DORT BORED is wounded!
Not this again. But what do we have?
I don’t know.
Huh? What the--? Oh GREAT... This board doesn’t have the Versions on them. GET ONE THAT DOES!
DORT BORED is ANGRY!
Quiet you!
DORT BORED wants to fight!
Fine, you evil compilation of wood, velvet, and other dart-boardy things! Go, Salesman!
Go! SALESMAN!
DORT BORED used BORE!
SALESMAN is BORED!
SALESMAN began to play MEGA MAN 8!
Lousy Salesmen... Go, other Salesman!
Go! SALESMAN!
Whack him with your briefcase!
SALESMAN used BRIEFCASE FWAP!
Critical hit!
DORT BORED used DORT!
SALESMAN doesn’t know what DORT is!
SALESMAN is confused!
...This is getting old fast.
It hurt itself in its confusion!
Argh... I don’t care about it now. Go me.
The enemy’s a dort bored! Go, MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B!
Hyper Beam.
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B used HYPER BEAM!
Critical hit!
DORT BORED fainted!
I hate this... I’m just gonna randomly pick stuff from this big sheet of paper.
SHEET O' PAYPA appeared!
THIS THING WILL NOT FIGHT ME, GOT IT?
...
Good. Lessee now... LAVENDER RUBY WHITE! THERE! Now, OPEN THEMS PORTALS!
No!
Why?
PERMISSION is needed!
...
What?
Since when did you need permission to INVADE STUFF?!
I don’t know. They just won’t open. That’s the best excuse I can think up right now.
I hate you, Narrator.
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B won!
...

8/10/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 83: Friendly Rivals (Is That Even Possible?)

Player: Mysterious Figure B [3-0-1] Last Battle: Win  vs. Dort Bored
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B appeared!
Do you have permission for me to invade now?
YES!
Good.
PORTALS to TURQUOISE, RUBY, and LAVENDER VERSIONS appeared!
Turquoise? I said WHITE!
WEBMASTER never ASKED DACTA!
...Whatever. CHARGE!
SALESMAN ARMY’s PRICES greatly rose!
...
SALESMAN ARMY disappeared into PORTALS!
Good. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! HAHAHA!
SHUT UP!
Fine.
GOOD FRIEND appeared!
Who are you?
GOOD FRIEND: Hiya Erik!
SHHH!
GOOD FRIEND: What, Erik?
SHUT UP!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B was renamed ERIK!
I hate you Narrator.
GOOD FRIEND: So have ya invaded the world?
GO AWAY!
GOOD FRIEND: Well? You told me everything... Getting the Salesman Army, sending scouts everywhere...
That’s it. DIE!
ERIK used ROCK SLIDE!
GOOD FRIEND was buried under a PILE OF ROCKS!
Hah.
GOOD FRIEND was renamed ARCHRIVAL!
Even better.
ARCHRIVAL climbed out from under ROCKS!
ARCHRIVAL wants to fight!
Fire Blast!
ERIK used FIRE BLAST!
ARCHRIVAL melted!
Good! Stay that way or I’ll have to REALLY hurt you!
ARCHRIVAL used SLIP!
ERIK slipped on ARCHRIVAL and fell off RANDOMLY-APPEARING CLIFF!
That would figure.
ERIK hit GROUND!
ERIK fainted from impact!
Demonic Narrator...
Yep!
ARCHRIVAL won!

8/11/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 84: Sluggy Freelance: The PokéBattle
Sluggy Freelance and all its characters © 1997-2000 Pete Abrams. All rights reserved.

Player: Torg [no record.]
TORG appeared!
Huh? What the--?! Where am I? Where are those kittens? WHERE’S BERT!?
TORG is in SHADOW G/S!
...Did Riff get me with the flux agitator again and I didn’t know it?
NO!
WEBMASTER thought it would be funny to parody SLUGGY FREELANCE and plunked you into a POKéBATTLE!
A what?
...
What? Tell me.
REAKK appeared!
SQUEEKYBOBO BALL appeared!
Uh... Why are you here?
REAKK: It’s TORG!
SQUEEKYBOBO BALL: LEMME OUTTA HERE! NOW! @&#$!
REAKK: GET HIM!
REAKK wants to fight!
Can someone tell me what’s going on?
NO!
REAKK sent out SQUEEKYBOBO BALL!
Help me here. WHAT DO I DO?!
NARRATOR 4 won’t tell!
REAKK used KICK!
SQUEEKYBOBO BALL was KICKed into TORG’s HEAD!
SQUEEKYBOBO BALL: YOU IDIOT!
OWW! Lousy demon! I guess I’ll ‘send out’ Riff?
Go! RIFF!
Hey, cool. Maybe I should do this a bit more. GO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!
Nothing happened!
Damn.
REAKK used KICK!
SQUEEKYBOBO BALL was KICKed into RIFF!
SQUEEKYBOBO BALL: STOP KICKING ME! @^#$!!
RIFF got really pissed and blew SQUEEKYBOBO BALL away with his LASERCANNON!
YEAH! Go Riff!
REAKK used KICK!
REAKK KICKed RIFF!
RIFF fainted!
...Uh... Go... Bun-Bun?
BUN-BUN: Leave me alone, Nerd-boy.
...
REAKK used KICK!
REAKK KICKed TORG really hard!
OUCH! You stupid demon! Take THAT!
TORG used BOARD SLAM!
TORG got a TWO-BY-FOUR out of NOWHERE and proceeded to beat REAKK senseless with it!
How’s THIS for a dimension of pain!? HUH!? STOP KICKING ME!!
KITTEN appeared!
AAAAAAAAHHH!
KITTEN: Mew.
KITTEN sliced REAKK into TINY SHREDS!
REAKK died a horrible death!
TORG won!
Eh heh... eh heh heh heh... GET THAT KITTEN AWAY FROM ME!!
KITTEN: Mew.

8/12/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 85: Army Collision (AKA The Caps Lock Battle) (Ruby Version Crossover)

Player: Salesman Army [no record.]
SALESMAN ARMY appeared in RUBY VERSION!
HUT-HUT-HUT, HUTTELY-DUT-HUT-HUT...
Eh...
HELLO SIR!
AAAAHH!!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY THIS--
GIANT HEAVY OBJECT dropped on SALESMAN ARMY!
OUCH.
MACARONI ARMY appeared!
HELLO SIR!
MACARONI looks EVIL!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY THIS REVOLUTIONARY NEW ITEM?
MACARONI ARMY wants to fight!
OK. ATTACK!
SALESMAN ARMY used MULTIPLE BRIEFCASE FWAP!
It’s rather effective!
MACARONI ARMY used DANCE!
MACARONI ARMY started to DANCE the MACARENA!
AAAAAHH! KILLKILLKILLKILLKILL!
SALESMAN ARMY used KILLKILLKILLKILLKILL!
MACARONI ARMY was KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLed!
THAT WAS SIMPLE.
However, MACARONI ARMY still stands... the hell?!
HUH?
MACARONI ARMY used FROWN!
MACARONI ARMY is FROWNING ANGRILY!
ATTACK!
SALESMAN ARMY used MULTIPLE BRIEFCASE FWAP!
MACARONI ARMY is FROWNING ANGRILY!
THEN WE SHALL FROWN AS WELL!
SALESMAN ARMY used FROWN!
SALESMAN ARMY is FROWNING ANGRILY!
FROWNS collided somehow!
...
GIGANTICAL EXPLOSION occurred!
GIGANTICAL?
GIGANTICAL!
...
SALESMAN ARMY fainted!
MACARONI ARMY fainted!
BATTLE was DRAW!