6/29/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 41: Death Match -- Or Death Wish?

Player: Mysterious Figure [1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Cid
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE is WALKING!
Will you stop calling me ‘Mysterious Figure’? My name’s Kenji.
Okay then...
KENJI is WALKING!
That’s better. I think...
DARKPUFF appeared!
Ah, the infamous Shadow Jigglypuff. I suppose you want to eat me?
YES!
Well then, you’re going to have to fight me! Go, Pidgeot!
That was a stupid move! Go, PIDGEOT!
Pidgeot, Fly!
PIDGEOT used FLY!
It flew up into the sky!
DARKPUFF kept going and crashed!
...
PIDGEOT used FLY!
It had extremely little effect!
NARRATOR is quite IMPRESSED!
Pidgeot, Hyper Beam!
PIDGEOT used HYPER BEAM!
DARKPUFF was sent SOARING over HORIZON!
Good. That’ll buy time. Pidgeot, return!
Enough! PIDGEOT!
Go, Gen-Ryuu!
Go! GEN-RYUU!
DARKPUFF lunged at GEN-RYUU!
...Fast little bugger. Gen-Ryuu, Depression Blast attack!
GEN-RYUU used DEPRESSION BLAST!
It just stayed there!
Now, carry me up!
KENJI climbed on GEN-RYUU!
It flew up into the sky!
DARKPUFF is ANGRY!
Isn’t it always?
DEPRESSION BLAST fired!
It’s super effective!
Critical hit!
NARRATOR is in SHOCK!
Hm. Return, Gen-Ryuu!
GEN-RYUU, come back!
KENJI is FALLING!
I know that!
DARKPUFF is WATING EXPECTANTLY below KENJI with its MOUTH open!
I’ll give it a taste... of PAIN! DIMENSIONAL FISSURE!
KENJI used DIMENSIONAL FISSURE!
VORTEX opened around DARKPUFF!
It’s sucking DARKPUFF in!
My ultimate attack...
DARKPUFF was torn into tiny bits!
...Egh. Not a pretty sight...
...Then REASSEMBLED!
WHAT!?
DARKPUFF is ENRAGED!
Crap.
DARKPUFF used SUMMON MINIONS!
MINIONS appeared!
Darkpuff has minions?
MINIONS are BEATING UP KENJI!
Hey... Ow... STOP!!
MINIONS didn’t STOP!
Okay... That’s it... GENESIS!!
KENJI used GENESIS!
MINIONS were VAPORIZED!
DARKPUFF fainted!
Heh heh...
KENJI won!

6/30/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 42: Home Again?

Player: Cid [11-3-1] Last Battle: Loss vs. Kenji
CID woke up!
Ugh... My room? I’m back home?
YES!
Okay...
MOM appeared!
Hi Mom.
MOM is ANGRY!
WHAT?!
MOM was WORRIED about YOU!
I’d know, but why are you so mad?
BECAUSE YOU LEFT YOUR POKéGEAR AT HOME!
...Oh. I KNEW I forgot something... Can I have it now please?
MOM says NO!
Huh? Why?
MOM says YOU are IRRESPONSIBLE!
Irresponsible!? I have two Badges! How can you call THAT irresponsible?!
MOM is not IMPRESSED!
MOM wants to fight!
Okay... Go, Gabumon.
Go! TSUNOMON!
What the!? It devolved again?
YES!
MOM sent out CHARMELEON!
You’ve had a Charmeleon all this time and you never told me!?
MOM would have CALLED and SAID SO, but you didn’t have POKéGEAR!
...Oh. Tsunomon, attack.
TSUNOMON used BUBBLE BLOW!
It’s super effective!
Huh...
CHARMELEON used FLAMETHROWER!
It’s super effective!
TSUNOMON fainted!
Thought so. Go, Agumon!
Go! KOROMON!
Not you too!
MOM withdrew CHARMELEON!
Koromon, use your attack when Mom sends out her next Pokémon.
MOM sent out WARTORTLE!
Ugh...
KOROMON used BUBBLE BLOW!
It’s not very effective...
You know what? SCREW IT! I’m going to find that Crest at Dark Plains, so I’ll have WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon back. BYE!
Return! KOROMON!
CID ran away!
MOM won!

7/1/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 43: Hard Wood vs. Hard Head

Player: Digiman [1-3-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Cashier
DIGIMAN is LOOKING for CREST!
*sigh* Of course...
DIGIMAN is SLIGHTLY ANNOYED at NARRATOR... HEY!!
Heh heh... Dolt.
DIGIMAN kept going and crashed!
This isn’t good...
...Into TREE!
AAH!
TREE ran away!
...Now I guess an entire army of Trees will come after me?
NO!
Then what?
FOREST OF RETURN wants to fight!
Oh.
FOREST OF RETURN sent out OLD GROWTH!
What the?! What’s an Old Growth?
OLD GROWTH: The Giant Tree Pokémon. Older than the common Tree, and much stronger as well. It takes hundreds of years for a Tree to evolve into an Old Growth. Height: 30’, Weight: 500 lbs.
Uh-oh...
OLD GROWTH used BRANCH TOSS!
OLD GROWTH’s attack missed!
Grrrr... GO, Puppetmon!
The enemy’s old! Go, PUPPETMON!
OLD GROWTH used RAZOR LEAF!
It’s not very effective...
Guess old and wise doesn’t apply to this particular Tree...
OLD GROWTH!
...Whatever. Puppetmon, control that... Old Growth.
PUPPETMON used CONTROL!
PUPPETMON is CONTROLLING OLD GROWTH!
Good.
OLD GROWTH can’t move!
Now get... Old Growth... to attack the Forest!
PUPPETMON used CONTROL!
OLD GROWTH used FALL!
OLD GROWTH fell on FOREST OF RETURN!
It didn’t affect FOREST OF RETURN!
Uh-oh...
OLD GROWTH broke FREE of CONTROL!
ACK! Puppetmon, Puppet Pumm--
OLD GROWTH used FALL!
OLD GROWTH fell on PUPPETMON!
PUPPETMON fainted!
I’d expect no less...
OLD GROWTH’s attack continues!
Huh?
OLD GROWTH fell on DIGIMAN!
DIGIMAN fainted!
Ouch...
FOREST OF RETURN won!

7/2/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 44: Hardy Harr... What Was I Saying?

Player: Capp'n Joe [no record]
Hardy harr harr!
CAPP’N JOE used HARDY HARR HARR!
Arr, what be the Narrator’s business here?
WEBMASTER is RUNNING out of IDEAS!
Yarr... Be I a last resort?
YES!
Arr...
SHIP ran into MOUNTAIN!
MOUNTAIN is angry!
Uh... Yarr?
MOUNTAIN wants to fight!
Hardy harr harr! Matey, take care of this, arr!
Go! MATEY!
MOUNTAIN sent out GIANT ROCK!
Arr... What be a Giant Rock’s business on this ship?
CAPP’N JOE forgot about BATTLE!
Battle? Arr... And how did ye get here, Narrator?
MATEY used PUNCH!
MATEY PUNCHed GIANT ROCK!
It didn’t affect GIANT ROCK!
Idiot. Arr...
MATEY broke his HAND!
Harr harr!
MATEY is SCREAMING FOR HELP!
Why be ye shouting like that?
CAPP’N JOE forgot about MATEY’s broken HAND!
Arr...
GIANT ROCK used ROLL!
GIANT ROCK is ROLLing around!
Yarr...? Why be a Giant Rock on this here ship?
CAPP’N J... Screw it...
GIANT ROCK ran over MATEY!
MATEY fainted!
Get up, Matey! Teach this Giant Rock a lesson!
There’s no will to fight!
Yarr... Go, Sword?
The enemy’s a rock! Go, SWORD!
GIANT ROCK used ROCK SLIDE!
GIANT ROCKS fell on SWORD!
Er... Yarr...
SWORD fainted!
GIANT ROCK’s attack continues!
Arr, this not be a good thing.
GIANT ROCKS fell on CAPP’N JOE!
Ouch... Arr...
CAPP’N JOE fainted!
MOUNTAIN won!

7/3/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 45: An Honorable Defeat (Yeah Right...)

Player: Cid [11-4-1] Last Battle: Loss vs. Mom
CID is at DARK PLAINS!
Finally. Now where’s that Crest?
FLOOR is GLOWING!
You mean to tell me that the GROUND is the Crest!?
One, it’s FLOOR!
Two, did you ever watch The Arrival of Skullgreymon?
...Oh. Now how do I get the Crest?
TAG fell from SKY and hit CID in the HEAD!
OW!! That hurt! A lot! But thanks, I guess...
CID used TAG!
FLOOR is GLOWING!
CREST OF HONOR appeared in TAG!
...Ran out of ideas again, Webmaster?
NO!
CREST OF HONOR was made SPECIFICALLY for THIS!
...And DRAGON LEGENDS!
Go figure.
FLOOR is angry!
Uh...
FLOOR wants to fight!
Okay... Go Koromon?
Go! KOROMON!
FLOOR sent out MR. CLEAN!
...That was kinda disturbing...
MR. CLEAN used ANNOYING JINGLE!
Uh-oh...
*ahem* MR. CLEEEEEAAAAN!
AAH! NO! STOP IT!! IT BURNS!!
It’s extremely annoying!
Grr... Okay, baldy, let’s get it on!
MR. CLEAN is not MILLS LANE!
Will you SHUT UP!? Koromon, Digivolve!
CID used CREST OF HONOR!
What? KOROMON is WARP-Digivolving!
KOROMON WARP-Digivolved into WARGREYMON!
Haha!
MR. CLEAN used ADVERTIZE!
WARGREYMON is COMPELLED to buy MR. CLEAN PRODUCTS!
NO! Don’t give in, WarGreymon... Hey, $9.99 actually isn’t a bad price...
WARGREYMON went to WAL-MART to buy a MOP!
...
CID lost his turn!
It doesn’t matter anyway, since WarGreymon left...
MR. CLEAN used BALDNESS!
...This should prove to be a rather frightening attack...
MR. CLEAN’s HEAD is SHINING!
Huh? OW! MY EYES!
CID was BLINDED!
MR. CLEAN used HEADBUTT!
Critical hit!
CID fainted!
This has got to be the ultimate indignity... Being beaten by a guy who lives in the floor...
FLOOR won!