8/3/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 76: The Death of Richard Simmons... The Robot

Player: Digiman [2-4-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Stark Trent
Now let’s see if I can turn this off?
DIGIMAN used TURN!
DIGIMAN TURNed around!
That joke is old...
So? It’s still funny.
Ugh... Just turn the damn robot off.
Okay, fine...
Hey, there’s no OFF switch here.
What? Let me see... AAH! THERE IS NO OFF SWITCH! WE’RE DOOMED!
WE are DOOMED!
...
What, it furthers the story.
Okay...
RRS: Come on people, let’s see some calories burn!
AAAAH! GET AWAY FROM ME!
GET AWAY FROM ME TOO!
I thought you WERE Richard Simmons?
I'm Narrator 4. Nice to meetcha.
Oh.
RRS: Up and down, and up and down...
Argh... Lousy Salesman... Need to not be so weak to low low prices of a million Yen...
DIGIMAN wants to fight... SALESMAN!
SALESMAN appeared!
Well, speak of the devil. Literally.
SALESMAN sees DIGIMAN!
HEY! I’M THE ONLY ‘MAN’ AROUND HERE!
Da Evolution Man! One of the many characters at pokebattles.com!
...HEY! I’M THE ONLY ‘MAN’ AROUND HERE!
SALESMAN ran away!
Good. Now I really AM the only man around here.
...
RRS: I said WORK, people!
Oh yeah, him... Narrator, can’t you just push this thing off a building or something?
...
Narrator?
HELLO. This is NARRATOR 4’s ANSWERING MACHINE. If you WAIT for the BEEP, your message will be super effective! If not, the attack will fail. *BEEP*
...Frightening.
RRS: Come on!
That’s it... I’m killing this thing now.
DIGIMAN used KILL!
DIGIMAN KILLed ROBOTIC RICHARD SIMMONS!
ROBOTIC RICHARD SIMMONS was destroyed, never to return to this ethereal plane!
I’m back, you want some coff... HEY!
What?
YOU DIDN’T LEAVE A MESSAGE!
So?
NARRATOR 4 wants to fight!
Crap.

8/4/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 77: Warcraft Gold and Silver*

*If you have Warcraft II and do not want to know a bunch of cheat codes, or you just don't want to know a bunch of Warcraft II cheat codes, don't read this Battle.

Player: Cid [15-7-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Misdreavus
CID is on ULTIMUS ISLE!
Ultimus Isle? New area?
YES!
That would explain all the black... Lousy Warcraft.
WARCRAFT III! Coming soon!
Wait... If this black was inspired by Warcraft... ON SCREEN.
BLACK disappeared!
Never underestimate the power of cheat codes. IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE.
CID is now INVINCIBLE!
MAKE IT SO.
CID’s SPEED greatly rose!
HATCHET.
CID’s STRENGTH greatly rose!
GLITTERING PRIZES.
CID now has INFINITE ITEMS!
I love this place!
MEGANIUM appeared!
TYPHLOSION appeared!
FERALIGATR appeared!
Cool. Buffed-up G/S starters! MASTERBALLS, GO!
CID used MASTERBALL!
MEGANIUM was caught!
TYPHLOSION was caught!
FERALIGATR was caught!
HAH!
POKéMON broke out of MASTERBALLS!
Huh? What the--!?
CID checked MASTERBALL!
‘Made in USA’. Go figure... JAPANESE MasterBalls, GO!
CID has no JAPANESE MASTERBALLS!
Crud...
G/S STARTERS want to fight!
HA! You underestimate cheat codes! GO MISDREAVUS!
Go! MISDREAVUS!
TYPHOLSION used FIRE BLAST!
MISDREAVUS fainted!
Huh? The cheat codes...?
YOU are invincible, not your Pokémon!
Crap. GO ME!
The enemy outnumbers you! Go, CID!
Tackle them all!
CID used TACKLE!
CID’s attack missed!
CID fell in BOAT!
Boat? There was no boat a minute ago...
BOAT left ULTIMUS ISLE!
AAH! NOO! MY POKéMON...
BATTLE was DRAW!
I’ll come back... AND CAPTURE YOU ALL! I SWEAR IT! YOU WILL ALL BE MINE SOMEDAY!
CID used IDLE THREAT!
Grrr...

8/5/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 78: Da Evolution Mysterious Figure?

Player: Mysterious Figure B [0-0-1] Last Battle: Draw vs. Salesman General
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B is PLOTTING again!
Not the Narrator... It’s hot enough, but now this voice...
SALESMAN GENERAL appeared!
What is it?
SALESMAN GENERAL died from heat!
That was simple. But now I need another General... And he evolved, didn’t he?
NARRATOR 4 doesn’t know!
4!? We’ve gone through 4 Narrators!?
Hey, at least it isn’t Night Version. They went to 4 by Battle 11.
Point taken. But we still need a new General. SALESMAN!
SALESMAN appeared!
EVOLVE, YOU!
What? SALESMAN is evolving!
SALESMAN evolved into INFOMERCIALMAN!
AAH! NO! TOO SCARY! EVOLVE AGAIN!
What? INFOMERCIALMAN is evolving!
INFOMERCIALMAN evolved into SALESMAN ARMY!
Oooh! Salesman ARMY! How many?
THREE!
...
What?
Three is NOT an army!
It is for Ethiopia!
THIS IS NOT EEFIOPEYA!
...
WHATEVER! One of you, EVOLVE!
What? SALESMAN ARMY is evolving!
Not the whole...
SALESMAN ARMY evolved into GIGANTIC ROBO-SALESMAN!
Cool.
GIGANTIC ROBO-SALESMAN was renamed GRS!
GRS wants to fight!
...I don’t have anything...
Go! MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B!
Uh...
GRS: Hello sir!
AAAAH! NOT ONLY IS THAT THING LOUD AND ANNOYING, THAT WAS JUST DISTURBING!
It’s super effective!
Tor--no! Fire Blast!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B used FIRE BLAST!
It’s super effective!
GRS is MELTING!
...Uh-oh.
GRS melted!
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE B won!
Shut up...
No.
Please? I’ll stop with the invasion.
YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE GOING TO INVADE THE WORLD!?
Uh... No!
Okay.

8/6/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 79: Theories

Player: Digiman [3-4-0] Last Battle: Win  vs. Robotic Richard Simmons
NARRATOR 4 wants to fight!
Finally!
NARRATOR 4 sent out ALBERT EINSTEIN!
Go, SaberLeomon!
Go! SABERLEOMON!
ALBERT EINSTEIN used THEORY OF RELATIVITY!
SABERLEOMON doesn’t understand!
SABERLEOMON fainted!
Go, MetalSeadramon!
The enemy’s smarter than your trainer! Go, METALSEADRAMON!
HEY!
ALBERT EINSTEIN used E=MC²!
METALSEADRAMON doesn’t understand!
METALSEADRAMON fainted!
I understand. Energy equals Mass and Light squared!
ALBERT EINSTEIN thinks DIGIMAN is SMART!
Good for him.
But, ALBERT EINSTEIN is SMARTER!
What is the theory of Narf?
ALBERT EINSTEIN says the THEORY OF NARF is the same as the THEORY OF TROZ and ZORT!
DAMMIT! You ARE smarter than I am... WAIT! What about the Theory of Poit?
ALBERT EINSTEIN has not HEARD of the THEORY OF POIT!
Ah, ‘tis simple. It is the same as the Theory of Fiord and Nyohoyvn.
ALBERT EINSTEIN doesn’t understand!
ALBERT EINSTEIN fainted!
Hah. I AM SMARTER THAN ALBERT EINSTEIN HIMSELF!
No you’re not!
Yes I am!
I still have more Pokémon!
Fine! Bring it, shouty!
NARRATOR 4 sent out CHARLES DARWIN!
The evolution guy, eh? I have something that’ll tickle him pink. Go, Apocalymon!
Go! APOCALYMON!
CHARLES DARWIN used THEORY OF EVOLUTION!
CHARLES DARWIN is DRONING ON about NATURAL SELECTION, ETC. ETC.!
Ugh... Must... Stay... Awake... Death Claw attack...
APACALYMON is fast asleep!
Good for it...
DIGIMAN fell asleep!
NARRATOR 4 kicked DIGIMAN and APOCALYMON into DITCH!
NARRATOR 4 *YAWN* won!

8/7/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 80: Salesmacaroni (Ruby Version Crossover)

Player: Salesman [no record.]
SALESMAN is taking a WALK!
Hello sir!
...
Would you like to--
SHUT UP OR DIE, SHOP BOY.
Okay sir!
...
MACARONI appeared!
Huh? Macaroni?
MACARONI looks EVIL!
...Hello sir!
NARRATOR 4 facefaults!
Would you like to buy some--
MACARONI wants to fight!
Okay...
MACARONI sent out MACARONI!
Hello sir!
MACARONI used HEEEEEY, MACARONI!
MACARONI started to DANCE the MACARENA!
What in the--?! Dancing macaroni... Now I’ve seen everything.
No you haven’t!
Oh well... Hello sir!
SALESMAN used HELLO SIR!
MUSIC is TOO LOUD for MACARONI to HEAR!
MACARONI used DANCE!
MACARONI is DANCING!
I just came up with a new item!
MACARONI is DANCING!
SALESMAN sees CITIZEN!
HELLO SIR!
CITIZEN SCREAMS in TERROR and FLEES!
Nobody likes me...
MACARONI is DANCING!
This is getting creepy... Can I just smash this thing with my briefcase?
SALESMAN used BRIEFCASE FWAP!
Answers that.
MACARONI stopped DANCING!
Good. That was scary.
MACARONI used FROWN!
...Can you start dancing again? That wasn’t as scary as this.
MACARONI is FROWNING ANGRILY!
Stop it... Please?
SALESMAN is SCARED!
Well, duh...
FROWNEYFACE appeared!
...
FROWNEYFACE used FROWN!
STOP WITH THE FROWNING!!
MACARONI and FROWNEYFACE are FROWNING ANGRILY!
WAAAAAAAHHHH! STOPITSTOPITSTOOOOOOOP!!
SALESMAN fainted!
MACARONI won!
MACARONI began DANCING again!
FROWNEYFACE wandered into MINEFIELD and EXPLODED!