7/29/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 71: Local Anger

Player: Trainerguy of the Local Angry Mob
[11-5-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Grandpa
LOCAL ANGRY MOB is SEARCHING for GRANDPA!
Hey wow, the Narrator. I haven’t heard him for... A while!
CONGREGATION: HA-LELUJAH!
...Uh-huh.
BIGGLYMUFF is HUNGRY!
*sigh* You’re always hungry.
BIGGLYMUFF wants FOOD!
THEN GET SOME!
BIGGLYMUFF went to get FOOD!
...That was simple. Look, guys, we haven’t been in much activity for a while, right?
LOCAL ANGRY MOB agrees!
So why don’t we just stop looking for Grandpa and give it up? We’re fine by ourselves.
LOCAL ANGRY MOB doesn’t want to!
Well, I’m leaving then!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB won’t let you!
Oh yes I will!
Oh no you won’t!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB wants to fight!
Fine then! GO, BLASTOISE!
Go! BLASTOISE!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB sent out JON!
Good, the first person I want to take out. Blastoise, Hydro Pump attack!
BLASTOISE used HYDRO PUMP!
JON used MAP!
JON gave HYDRO PUMP a MAP!
What good’s that gonna do?
HYDRO PUMP was given the WRONG MAP!
HYDRO PUMP hit TRAINERGUY!
YAAARGH! THAT HURT!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB is LAUGHING!
You won’t for long. Blizzard, Blastoise!
BLASTOISE used BLIZZARD!
It began to SNOW!
JON got FROSTBITE!
JON fainted!
Any more takers?
LOCAL ANGRY MOB sent out EVOLUMAN!
Hah. All he knows is Evolve. What an--
EVOLUMAN used EVOLVE!
Idiot.
What? BLASTOISE is evolving!
BLASTOISE evolved into RAINER!
...?
EVOLUMAN’s attack continues!
What? RAINER is evolving!
RAINER evolved into ULTRAINER!
Lemme guess...
ULTRAINER left to maintain METAL VERSION!
Thought so. GO CHARIZARD!
The enemy evolves stuff! Go, CHARIZARD!
EVOLUMAN used EVOLVE!
Hah. My power grows moreso!
What? CHARIZARD is evolving!
CHARIZARD evolved into CHARGON!
...The WEBMASTER?
Uh... HEY! OW! Stop that! Lemme go!
What the--?
SIR_CHARGON took control of BATTLE!
SIR_CHARGON is ANRGY!
Uh-oh...
GIANT HAND crushed CHARGON!
CHARGON fainted!
GIANT HAND’s attack continues!
Me, I guess?
YES!
GIANT HAND crushed TRAINERGUY!
TRAINERGUY fainted!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB won!
LOCAL ANGRY MOB drug TRAINERGUY with them!

7/30/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 72: The Machampion

Player: Marco of Team Rocket [0-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Derth
MARCO is LOOKING for AKI!
The Narrator again...
YEP!
AKI appeared!
Hello.
AKI used SLAM!
MARCO was SLAMmed into CHAINLINK FENCE!
That didn’t hurt much this time.
MARCO fell face-first onto SIDEWALK!
That did.
AKI is ANGRY!
Why?
AKI doesn’t know why! He just is!
He? I always thought Aki was a woman...
AKI is ANGRIER!
Uh-oh. RUN FOR IT!!
Can’t escape!
This is bad.
AKI wants to fight!
Well, it’s better than I thought. Go, Kurobatto!
Go! KUROBATTO!
AKI sent out MACHAMP!
A MACHAMP!? SINCE WHEN DID YOU GET A MACHAMP?
Since AKI stole one!
Sure... Rub it in my face...
Okay!
AKI is dancing around MARCO laughing!
MARCO’s MORALE, SELF-ESTEEM, and SELF-RESPECT greatly fell!
Can we get on with the battle?
MACHAMP used SIESMIC TOSS!
Hah. Kurobatto, Toxic!
KUROBATTO used TOXIC!
MARCO is badly poisoned!
NOT ON ME, ON THAT BIG GRAY FOUR-ARMED THING OVER THERE!
KUROBATTO turned around!
KUROBATTO saw MACHAMP and fainted in fright!
I’d figure as much.
MARCO is hurt from poison!
I don’t have anything else left... Go me... *sigh*
The enemy’s a lot stronger than you are! Go, MARCO!
MACHAMP used SUBMISSION!
MACHAMP: Say uncle!
What the--?! Machamps could talk!?
MACHAMP: SAY IT!!
No... You’re not hurting me at all, actually. You’re just poking me.
MACHAMP used MEGA PUNCH!
MARCO was knocked through BUILDING!
Okay, THAT hurt!
MARCO is hurt from poison!
MACHAMP used KATATE CHOP!
Can I say uncle now?
MACHAMP stopped, pointed, and laughed at MARCO!
MACHAMP: Weenie weenie weeeeenie!
...This is indignifying. I’m in a lot of pain, so I’ll just faint now.
MARCO fainted!
AKI won!

7/31/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 73: The Digiman Movie, Part I (AKA Bad Superman Ripoff I Couldn't Resist Posting... Part I)

Player: Stark Trent [no record?]
STARK TRENT is doing WORK!
Narrator... Go away.
LOUISE ROAD appeared!
...What?
LOUISE ROAD: Leech is back!
Okay. What does that have to do with me?
LOUISE ROAD: You know Digiman right?
Yeah... He’s a damn loser.
DIGIMAN’s MORALE greatly fell!
Digiman isn’t around here, Narrator.
Yes he is!
NARRATOR revealed STARK TRENT’s TRUE IDENTITY!
STARK TRENT is... Uh-oh.
I told you.
LOUISE ROAD ran away SCREAMING!
DIGIMAN appeared!
Look what you made me do... Or made the Narrator do.
NARRATOR 2 is... Ooh, what THAT? Pretty GROUND, lotsa PEOPLE... Whee!
It pushed STARK TRENT off BUILDING in its confusi... Oops.
TOURIST: Look! There’s a naked guy falling from the Bi-Weekly Continent building!
STOP WITH THE BAD SUPERMAN PUNS ALREADY!!
No! This is fun!
Arrrgh...
STARK TRENT hit GROUND!
Ouch...
GROUND is ANGRY!
GROUND wants to fight!
Don’t wanna fight.
Too bad!
GROUND used EARTHQUAKE!
It’s super effective!
To what? Me, or the ground?
BOTH!
GROUND fainted!
STARK TRENT fainted!
To be continued...

8/1/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 74: The Digiman Movie, Part II (AKA Bad Superman Ripoff I Couldn't Resist Posting... Part II)

Player: Digiman [1-3-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Forest of Return (AKA Tree)
DIGIMAN fell on SALESMAN!
SALESMAN fainted!
CROWD: YAY!
Thank you, thank you. Now...
DIGIMAN... uh... TURNED... LOOKED DOWN... no... Screw it. Just do your thing.
Okay. I shall destroy you, evil ground!
...
What?
...Nothing.
GROUND wants to fight!
Goodie! Go Piedmon!
Go! PIEDMON!
GROUND: MUHH-TROP-LUHS!
...
...
Okay...
GROUND used FISSURE!
One-hit KO!
PIEDMON fainted!
Ah, you are a worthy opponent!
GROUND: MUHH-TROP-LUHS!
Stop that, you’re freaking me out. Go me!
The enemy’s a big chunk of pavement! Go, DIGIMAN!
GROUND used EARTHQUAKE!
It didn’t affect DIGIMAN!
I’m floating, you moronic...
CROWD fainted!
Crud.
GROUND: MUHH-TROP-LUHS!
STOP SAYING THAT!!
DIGIMAN used MEGA PUNCH!
It’s super effective!
GROUND exploded into HUNDREDS upon HUNDREDS of tiny pieces!
GROUND was renamed GRAVEL!
EMERGENCY ROOM appeared!
This is just getting weird...
GRAVEL covered EMERGENCY ROOM!
GRAVEL was renamed GRAVELER!
...Okay...
GRAVELER: MUHH-TROP-LUHS!
WILL YOU EVER STOP THAT?!
NO!
GRAVELER used RATHER POWERFUL PUNCH!
Ha! You cannot defeat me that-- ooh... Pretty ground... Suddenly tired... Me got take nappy now.
DIGIMAN fainted!
GRAVELER won!
GRAVELER: MUHH-TROP-LUHS!

8/2/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 75: Robosimmons

Player: Stark Trent [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Graveler
GRAVELER is on a RAMPAGE!
It’s not my fault! It’s Digiman’s! Actually, it’s YOUR fault! YOU PUSHED ME OFF THE BUILDING AND MADE THE GROUND ANGRY!
Why did you have your office on the roof of the building anyway?
I liked the view.
GRAVELER: MUHH-TROP-LUHS!
GRAVELER appeared!
Narrator is slow...
NARRATOR 2 is... HEY!
Heh heh heh...
STARK TRENT fell off BUILDING!
I wasn’t on a building.
THAT’S IT!
NARRATOR 2 wants to fight!
Okay, okay...
NARRATOR 2 sent out TREE!
I SAID I’LL FALL OFF THE DAMN BUIL--
TREE used FALL!
TREE fell on STARK TRENT!
AA-- Huh?
DIGIMAN used HOLD UP TREE!
And I thought you were a loser...
DIGIMAN glared at STARK TRENT!
What? You lost matches everywhere, you only won because of a forfeit...
DIGIMAN is ANGRY!
DIGIMAN wants to fight!
Fine, Loserman.
DIGIMAN was renamed LOSERMAN!
LOSERMAN is ANGRIER!
Hee hee... This is fun... Narrator, rename him Dorkman.
LOSERMAN was renamed DORKMAN!
DORKMAN is ENRAGED!
Oh, did I scare da wittle Dorkman?
NO!
DORKMAN is BLINDED WITH RAGE!
...So? He’s a freak.
DORKMAN used DESTROY!
STARK TRENT was UTTERLY OBLITERATED!
AAAAAAAAHHH... Uh... Why am I still here?
DORKMAN wanted to TORTURE you!
He’s... AAH! NO! NOT THE ROBOTIC RICHARD SIMMONS! NOO!
DOR, er, DIGIMAN used ROBOTIC RICHARD SIMMONS!
It’s super effective!
GET IT AWAY!
RRS: Okay people!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
It’s super effective!
Uh, Narrator, why aren’t you affected?
Because...
NARRATOR 2 is actually RICHARD SIMMONS!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
STARK TRENT fainted!
RRS: Let’s get those bodies into shape!
DIGIMAN won!