Player: Satan [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Grandpa
SATAN is BORED!
Well, you would be too, if you had to fill out all these forms. That Shadow Jigglypuff is making my business a profitable one...
SATAN waves ARM at PILES AND PILES OF MONEY!
...But I HAVE TO STAY HOLED UP IN HERE!
GRIM REAPER appeared!
What now?
GRIM REAPER put STACK OF PAPERS on SATAN's DESK!
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ALREADY BUSY!?
GRIM REAPER can't HELP IT!
DARKPUFF is KILLING people faster than GRIM REAPER can BRING THEM DOWN HERE!
Well, we need more room, too! Get a bunch of those orange guys from the candy factory Darkpuff demolished to clear some more space!
OOMPA-LOOMPAS are ON STRIKE!
But without them we can't... Okay, THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO GIVE THAT HOMICIDAL BALLOON A TASTE OF ITS OWN MEDICINE!
SATAN disappeared!
SATAN appeared right behind DARKPUFF!
LOOK YOU! I'M THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS, NOW...
DARKPUFF ate SATAN!
I didn't think that would work.
SATAN climbed OUT OF DARKPUFF!
I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget, then I'll SEE YOU IN HELL, BECAUSE I RUN IT!! GET'M, SON!
SATAN sent out DAMIEN!
DARKPUFF used BUG-EYED, DROOLING, FLYING BLACK DESTROYING EATER!
DARKPUFF ate DAMIEN!
GRRRRRR... GO, MY MANY LEGIONS OF DEATH!
Go! LEGIONS OF DEATH!
Use your Apocalypse attack!
LEGIONS OF DEATH used APOCALYPSE!
WORLD is on BRINK OF DESTRUCTION!
It already was.
Oh...
WORLD was DESTROYED!
Then... What do I have to rule?
Good point.
WORLD rebuilt!
Allrighty then. Hey, where're my Legions of Death?
DARKPUFF ate them!
That good-for-nothing little... Grim Reaper, nobody can beat you! Go, buddy!
GRIM REAPER didn't GO!
Why not?
GRIM REAPER is BRINGING STACKS OF PAPERS to SATAN's DESK!
I figured as much... What do I have left?
Go! SATAN!
ME!? HELL ONLY HAS ME TO DEFEND? Oka--
SATAN is being DIGESTED!
Huh?
SATAN has been EATEN BY DARKPUFF!
SATAN died!
SATAN was sent to HELL!
This is getting to be really stupid and humiliating... AND I HAVE TO STAND IN LINE TO GET BACK TO MY OWN HOUSE!!!
DARKPUFF won!

6/8/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 22: WHAT'S IN A NAME?

Player: Derth [no record.]
Derth? My name is Derth? It's DEATH, you idiot Webmaster! I can't believe you would make my name DERTH just so you could have me in a battle and avoid legal trouble! My name is DEATH! DEATH!! DO YOU HEAR ME!?
DEATH! One of the many characters at pokebattles.com!
Ugh...
LYFE appeared!
Lyfe? LYFE?? THIS IS INSANE!! One, MY name is DEATH! Two, his... her... IT'S name is LIFE! And before you go asking, it's NOT the cereal!
Do you want to get sued?
I'M A SPINOFF OF THE GRIM REAPER YOU DORK! HOW COULD I GET SUED!?
GRIM REAPER is bringing STACKS OF PAPERS to SATAN's DESK!
SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH THIS MESSED UP BATTLE!
Uh... fine...
DARKPUFF appeared!
Oh no. Aaah. It is Darkpuff. Aaah.
DARKPUFF instantly devoured LYFE!
Okay, that was rather noteworthy.
DARKPUFF ate DERTH!
I AM NOT DERTH!
DERTH climbed out of DARKPUFF!
My name is not Derth...
DERTH is ANGRY!
NO I'M NOT! Errr...
DARKPUFF is ANGRY!
DARKPUFF wants to fight!
Oh no. Darkpuff is angry.
DARKPUFF used DARK BREATH!
It didn't affect DERTH!
*sigh* By the swing of my scythe...
DERTH used SCYTHE!
It didn't affect DARKPUFF!
...nothing shall happen.
What? DERTH is evolving!
Hopefully into a sanely-named character?
DERTH evolved into DARTH!
...This is getting weird...and besides, which one?
BROOKS!
Darth Brooks?
The SITH of COUNTRY MUSIC!
Okay, now that is just DISGUSTING! Darkpuff, eat me to save my image before this gets published!
DARKPUFF doesn't WANT TO!
Why?
DARKPUFF is AFRAID of DARTH!
Afraid, huh... I guess I'll use my... Country Music Concert attack?
DARTH used COUNTRY MUSIC CONCERT!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
DARKPUFF still stands!
DARKPUFF ran away!
DARTH won!
Hah. Even DARKPUFF can't stand up against DEATH!
...

6/9/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 23: DARKPUFF SAVES CHRISTMAS

Player: Sir_Chargon [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Darkpuff

CHRISTMAS is HERE!
But it's Jun--
IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Whatever...
EVIL THINGS appeared!
EVIL THINGS are RUINING CHRISTMAS!
This is a really screwed up PokéBattle...
YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!
I'm the Webmaster. I MADE this place.
Uh... Oh yeah...
EVIL THINGS knocked over CHRISTMAS TREE!
...I'll just let this go.
DARKPUFF appeared!
Darkpuff? Why is it wearing a Santa hat?
IT'S CHRISTMAS!
For the last time: IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS!
DARKPUFF is ANGRY!
Uh, BYE!
SIR_CHARGON ran away!
Player: Darkpuff (4-1-1) Last Battle: Loss vs. Darth (Brooks)
EVIL THINGS are RUINING CHRISTMAS!
JIGGLY! [STOP!]
EVIL THINGS ignored DARKPUFF!
Jiggly PUFF PUFF! [Don't make me angry!]
EVIL THINGS ignored DARKPUFF!
Jiggly... PUFF!! [THAT'S IT! DIE!]
DARKPUFF is ANGRY!
EVIL THINGS noticed DARKPUFF!
EVIL THINGS are ANGRY!
EVIL THINGS want to fight!
Jigglypuff! [Go me!]
GO! DARKPUFF!
EVIL THINGS sent out BIG EVIL THING!
Jiggly... [Dinner...]
DARKPUFF instantly devoured BIG EVIL THING!
EVIL THINGS are HESITATING!
EVIL THINGS sent out EVIL THINGS!
Jigglypuff. [This is too easy.]
DARKPUFF used BUG-EYED, DROOLING, FLYING BLACK DESTROYING EATER!
DARKPUFF ate EVIL THINGS!
DARKPUFF won!
Jiggly! [Yep!]
DARKPUFF saved CHRISTMAS!
Puff... [Nappy time.]

6/10/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 24: STARTING WITH THE STORM BADGE

Player: Jade [no record.]
JADE is taking a WALK!
Ooh, look. An innocent-looking person is taking a walk, yeah yeah... Am I going to meet Darkpuff?
NO!
Okay.
DARKPUFF walked by HAPPILY!
...
CID appeared!
AAH! DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!
CID wants to fight!
On what grounds?
YOU are KACHI CITY GYM LEADER!
Oh yeah... forgot about that. Allright kid, I accept your challenge. Three Pokémon each.
CID AGREES!
OKAY! Go, Voltorb!
Go! VOLTORB!
CID sent out METALGARURUMON!
I said POKéMON!
CID only has HITMONLEE as a POKéMON!
Erg... Fine. Voltorb, Light Screen!
VOLTORB used LIGHT SCREEN!
VOLTORB is BLIND!
Huh?
JADE is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
LIGHT SCREEN blocked LIGHT!
O...kay...
METALGARURUMON used ICE WOLFCLAW!
Critical hit!
Hah... Voltorb's weak, but still consicous. Explosion now!
VOLTORB used EXPLOSION!
VOLTORB disappeared in a PUFF of SMOKE!
ARRRGGG! LET ME FIGHT NORMALLY!
CID withdrew METALGARURUMON!
I wish I didn't HAVE to only use Electric-types... Go, Raichu!
The enemy's winning! Go, RAICHU!
Just a reminder, Narrator: my winning streak reflects your payment.
NARRATOR works for FREE!
Uh.. Crap.
CID sent out ANGEMON!
Another Digimon, huh? Raichu, Thunderbolt attack!
RAICHU used THUNDERBOLT!
It's super effective!
Ha!
ANGEMON used HAND OF FATE!
And that does...?
GIANT HAND crushed RAICHU!
...Oh.
RAICHU fainted!
Graaa... Go, Jolteon!
CID withdrew ANGEMON!
CID sent out HITMONLEE!
HA! You finally sent out your only Pokémon, huh?
CID says HITMONLEE is STRONGER than it LOOKS!
HITMONLEE thinks it looks WEAK now!
HIMTONLEE's MORALE greatly fell!
Hahaha! Raise your Pokémon better, kid! Jolteon, Pinmissile!
JOLTEON used PINMISSILE!
PINS hit MISSILE!
I really hate this Narrator...
MISSILE DROPPED!
On?
...On JOLTEON!
If you had some sort of body, Narrator, I'd...
MISSILE exploded!
Ooooo... Why can't Voltorb explode like that?
JOLTEON died!
CID won!
WHAT!?
YOU HEARD ME! NOW GIVE THE KID A BADGE!
Fine... Here you go. Get out of my face.
CID got STORM BADGE!
CID left!
I was just taking a walk... Only a walk...

6/11/2K: WARRIOR BATTLE 25: DOWN THE DRAIN

Player: Cid [3-1-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Jade
Heh heh... I have a Storm Badge now!
CID has STORM BADGE!
I know that. And I'm going for a Crystal Badge, but you keep interrupting me.
CID is in KAYUBA CITY!
Duh. Now to find the Gym. Aha!
STORM DRAIN appeared!
...
STORM DRAIN wants to fight!
What the!?
CID is confused!
AAH! NO!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
Must you make me punch myself in the FACE?
YES!
I figured.
STORM DRAIN sent out SEWER WATER!
Eew! That smell...! Aah, I won't be beaten by a Storm Drain! Go, Angemon!
Go! ANGEMON!
Enemy SEWER WATER used SPLASH!
Splash? HAHAHAHA!
It's super effective!
HAHA, ahaha... ha... Angemon, Hand of Fate!
ANGEMON used HAND OF FATE!
GIANT HAND crushed SEWER WATER!
It didn't affect Enemy SEWER WATER!
Uh...
Enemy SEWER WATER used STENCH!
Critical hit!
Arrg...
What? ANGEMON is evolving!
Huh? It is?
ANGEMON evolved into MAGNAANGEMON!
LALI HO!
Final Fantasy IV! For the Super NES... If you can find it!
...Whatever. MagnaAngemon, use your Gate of Destiny attack!
MAGNAANGEMON used GATE OF DESTINY!
VORTEX was MADE!
Enemy SEWER WATER was SUCKED INTO VORTEX!
Enemy STORM DRAIN was SUCKED INTO VORTEX!
CID won!
That worked.
KAYUBA CITY POKéMON CENTER was SUCKED INTO VORTEX!
Uh...
KAYUBA CITY POKéMART was SUCKED INTO VORTEX!
MagnaAngemon, stop this thing!
MAGNAANGEMON doesn't KNOW HOW!
KAYUBA CITY GYM was SUCKED INTO VORTEX!
NOOO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THE GYM!
MAGNAANGEMON was SUCKED INTO VORTEX!
And him...
CID was SUCKED INTO VORTEX!
And me.